


The Runaways

by Ultra



Series: The Runaways 'Verse [1]
Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Comfort/Angst, Drama, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Engagement, F/M, Family Dinners, Family Drama, Family Dynamics, Family Feels, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Getting Back Together, Homesickness, Love, Mother-Daughter Relationship, New York, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Scares, Reunions, Romance, Running Away, Secrets, Small Towns, True Love, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-15
Updated: 2015-04-15
Packaged: 2018-01-12 09:55:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 46
Words: 132,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1184854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultra/pseuds/Ultra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rory can't face home after sleeping with Dean, fighting with Lorelai, and touring Europe with her grandma. Running away suddenly looks very appealing, and she's headed towards the one person who always seems to understand her, even when Rory doesn't understand herself. Literati.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> You would think I would concentrate on just writing the one Literati fic at a time, but no, this idea was in my head and it won’t leave me alone so, yeah, new fic! If you like it (so far), please let me know with a comment :)

It was a cowardly thing to do, sneaking off, no real explanation, but Rory couldn’t find a way to explain herself face to face, not to her mother, after everything. Of all the things she had done, this was maybe the dumbest. Okay, so maybe the second dumbest, after sleeping with a married man.

All these years, the people of Stars Hollow made such a big deal out of how smart Rory Gilmore was. She believed what they said, she knew it was true. Only smart girls got into Harvard, Yale, and Princeton. Those type of colleges didn’t offer places to anyone without a first rate education, a keen mind. Yes, Rory was smart, when it came to books and leaning. Unfortunately, in other areas of her life, she just wasn’t that bright.

Boys were confusing. Love was impossible, at least these were the conclusions Rory had come to over the past few years. One boyfriend and then another, then back to the first. It wouldn’t be so bad really, if that first boyfriend wasn’t married to another woman by now. If Rory hadn’t realised too late that maybe it was her other boyfriend she should have tried harder with.

Rory felt like she had been pinning all her hopes on Dean Forester for the longest time. That had been fine in the beginning, when everything was new and special and happy. First love, first date, the only thing they hadn’t gotten to was that first time that teens went in for. Jess had changed everything.

From day one, there had been a spark, a connection. For the longest time, Rory hadn’t wanted to admit that she had a thing for the bad boy. It was so cliché and it was just a base attraction - it was Dean she loved. She might have been able to convince herself if the connection between her and Jess Mariano hadn’t grown day by day and proved to be so much more than just forbidden fruit or the thrill of the chase and banter.

It just felt strange to be with someone else. It wasn’t that Rory didn’t care for Jess, or that he didn’t care of her. She just always felt like everyone else was thinking she made a mistake. Jess wasn’t like Dean. That was kind of the point, in a way, but Rory knew there were certain aspects of Dean that she missed when dating Jess. He wasn’t as eager to please, especially once he ‘won’ her away from her first boyfriend. He did care though, she just knew, even if neither of them really said so, not until it was too late.

Rory couldn’t blame Jess for what happened with Dean. Not back then with the break up and the boyfriend swapping, no, Rory was thinking much more recent than that. When Jess returned to Stars Hollow and told her he loved her only to disappear a second time. His last appearance had resulted in him practically begging her to run away with him. Rory said no, so many times she felt she was going crazy, but she had to do it. If she had tried to explain, talk it through, make sense of both his request and her answer, she knew something stupid would happen, something beautiful and stupid that would have meant she lost her virginity to a different guy entirely.

Sometimes Lorelai said her daughter was still a child, and it made Rory roll her eyes. She was nineteen for God’s sake and entirely grown up, at least she had thought so until the last couple of weeks. Actually, she could pinpoint the moment when she realised quite how childish she really was, the moment on the front porch steps when she called Dean’s cell and Lindsey picked up. Rory thought of that moment and closed her eyes tight, forcing back angry frustrated tears. She was such a fool, convincing herself that Dean just needed to be her first time, that everything would work out okay if she could just go back to how it used to be. She was so naive, and so wrong. A married man! There was no way Rory of a couple of years ago would ever be so stupid. All her talk about growing up and being an adult now, and she’d done something more stupid and insane than anything else she managed when she was a kid.

Going to Europe with her grandma, that made sense to Rory. She just had to get away, from her Mom, from Dean, from Stars Hollow. Running from people and tough situations was a cowards way, and yet it had seemed like the right thing at the time. Rory had time to think, to gain a little perspective, a few short weeks of seeing the sights in Europe, and she had finally admitted to herself what she should have known from the start. Now she understood her own actions, what she had done, sleeping with Dean, running away. It was all some stupid, desperate attempt to put things right, to make it okay, how it used it be. She had tried to step back into a happy past instead of taking a risk on the future, and now she knew for sure what she needed to do.

It took plenty of time, right up to the moment when she got back to her house with the note in her hand that she had written secretly on the plane. She wasn’t sure she was definitely going to use it until she was laying it on the kitchen tale and running for the door.

Now here she was, just a few hours later, on a doorstep she had never seen before. Maybe this was a crazy idea, maybe another of those dumb decisions she seemed to be making left and right lately. There was no way to know for sure until she knocked on the door. Rory considered it, thought about her opening line, any way to explain her presence here, or explain her behaviour in a way he might understand. She thought, she waited, she turned considered walking away a total of three times until suddenly she heard movement beyond the door, yelling from a voice she knew.

“I told you, I’m not...” he began, but stopped abruptly when he came to face to face with the last person he had been expecting. “Rory?”

“I... I’m so sorry,” she told him, already crying before she even got all the words out.

Jess really had no choice about it, suddenly his arms were full of Rory Gilmore, sobbing into his shoulder. 

“What the hell...?”


	2. Chapter 1

Jess woke up with a crick in his neck that he hoped he’d felt the last of a couple of weeks ago - no such luck. He never thought about needing a real bed until he spent an awful lot of time sleeping on a mattress on the floor. Making do was all well and good, but a person needed a decent night’s sleep, especially when they worked as much as he did.

Contrary to what the general populous of Stars Hollow thought of him, Jess could be responsible. Since leaving that place, he’d had to be. Saving money wasn’t easy when you lived in New York. Even apartments in the rougher parts of town cost plenty more than Jess had saved from his days at Luke’s and at Walmart. His last two trips to Stars Hollow had ended with a wad of cash hidden in his car from Luke. Then there was the pity cash Jimmy had sent on Christmas and his birthday. Added to the pay checks he got from working three jobs, Jess got by okay and managed to put a little cash aside. This new apartment had been home for a couple of weeks now, all one room of it, with a shared bathroom down the hall. His savings had to go towards some of the bigger items he could use next. First came a small second-hand refrigerator that actually functioned, then came a bed. He had got to sleep in said bed for all of three nights before Rory came knocking at his door. Every night since he had been back on the floor, without even a mattress for comfort’s sake, just spare blankets and one lousy pillow.

He couldn’t say she wasn’t worth the pain, even now as he pulled himself up to rest on his elbows and turned to see her there, lying alone in his bed. She was beautiful and perfect, everything he ever wanted. Might have been better if she was his, Jess thought with a sigh. Sure, Rory had shown up on his doorstep full of apologies and begging to stay a while. He let her, because he had no choice. Jess loved Rory so much, sometimes it hurt just to think about it. Having her here, so near and yet so far, it was killing him by degrees, but he let it happen, because it was Rory and there was no other choice. She hadn’t said she loved him, and went so far as to deny that she was really running away with him like he suggested before. Still, she was here, and didn’t seem in any hurry to leave.

Rory made an unladylike snorting sound as she woke too suddenly. She sat up fast and looked around at the grotty hole Jess called home, remembering suddenly where she was and why. With a sigh she collapsed back against the pillows with her hands over her face.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Jess deadpanned, levering himself up off the floor.

“Morning,” she muttered, turning away.

It could be a lack of caffeine, since that was what so often made any given Gilmore grumpy first thing in the morning. Jess had a feeling there was way more to it. It wasn’t like Rory to act out, to run from Stars Hollow, her Mom, her friends and family. There ought to be a real good explanation for it, and yet she hadn’t given much of one yet. Jess never pushed, he didn’t think he had a right too exactly. Rory was determined to pay her way and gave him money for the food she ate and such. He tried to refuse at first, but they both knew he needed room and board from her if she was going to stay, so he had to give up on the whole chivalry thing in that sense. He insisted on her having his bed though, and whenever she clammed up about why she was here, he let it happen.

There were a few questions he made sure he got in early, whilst she was still tearful and spilling her guts. Some people would say that was a dirty trick, praying on a vulnerable girl, but Jess needed to know what he was dealing with here. He had to know that Rory wasn’t in any real danger, that she hadn’t been physically harmed or threatened, that she wasn’t in trouble with the law or similar. None of it was likely, but then Rory running from all she knew and loved was just as crazy a concept. The explanation she gave when he finally got her to stop crying was one Jess didn’t entirely enjoy...

 

_“I’m sorry,” Rory repeated for maybe the twelfth time in as many minutes._

_“Don’t be sorry; be Rory,” Jess urged her, pulling her hands away from her face._

_She was sat on the end of his bed, the only place other than the floor to be sat really. He was crouched in front of her, scared out of his mind that something very, very bad was happening here._

_“Seriously, Rory, you gotta tell me what’s wrong,” he said, gripping her hands in his own. “Point me at a person to punch, you know I’ll do it.”_

_A gurgle akin to a small laugh burst through her veil of tears. Jess wanted to take that as a good sign, and yet Rory was still worrying him. This wasn’t like her at all. Not many people had the ability to freak him out, but she was doing it right now, whether she meant to or not._

_“It’s fine, I’m fine,” she told him._

_“Huh,” he replied, clearly not convinced. “The appearing on my door step with the tears running down your face says different.”_

_“Yeah,” Rory sniffled then. “I’ve just... I made so many mistakes, Jess. That day when you came to my dorm, I got so freaked out. You just, you came back all out of the blue, and after everything, you still wanted me. I could’ve so easily just... I could’ve...”_

_Her voice went away when she looked up and realised how close their faces were. Jess’ dark eyes were gazing into hers and Rory forgot how to breathe for a while. When the air came back to her lungs, so her words returned to her as well._

_“I missed you so much,” she admitted out of nowhere._

_Jess couldn’t help the smile that curved his lips, though he said nothing._

_“Every time you’ve left town, I missed you, and I knew I would again when I said no and wouldn’t run away like you wanted, but I just couldn’t,” she shook her head sadly, looking down then at their joined hands. “I thought I was wrong to even consider being with you after everything. I just kept telling myself I was better off before you came along, but I wasn’t, Jess. I was so stupid. So, so stupid!”_

_“Hey, you’re not stupid,” he argued when she pulled one of her hands free and smacked herself in the side of the head with it._

_“But I am!” she countered, even as he moved to sit beside her, ready to be sympathetic and helpful. “I’m so stupid, I slept with Dean! My ex boyfriend! A married man! What the hell was I thinking?!”_

 

“Is that for me?” asked Rory, her question cutting through Jess’ memories.

She was sat up in his bed with the covers pulled up around her, watching him stand there like an idiot holding two mugs of steaming coffee. Without a word he handed her the nearest one and then moved towards the door with his own drink still in his hand. Rory watched him go and sighed. He would only be going to the bathroom, since he wasn’t exactly dressed for anything else, but she wished he had stayed and talked to her.

Maybe Jess was acting weird but Rory couldn’t really blame him for that. She kind of sprung herself on him here and after their initial serious talk about why she’d come and what had happened, including her apology for how she reacted at their last serious talk, they hadn’t really said anything real or useful to each other. He let her stay, and Rory couldn’t be more grateful about that, but they weren’t together, that wasn’t what this was. Whether she had come here for a reunion of that kind, even Rory wasn’t sure right now. For the moment, it was nice to be close, to talk about books and movies, flirt a little even, like the old days before they dated. Still, it wasn’t entirely comfortable, and never could be.

Much like with Dean, there was no going back with Jess, only forward. Right now, Rory was too afraid to start any kind of conversation in that area with him. Somehow it didn’t seem fair. It was nice to just be friends like this, and she wondered if she and Jess were better off this way, but seeing all the best traits of his character, getting to know him all over again as she had these past few days, it just reminded her why she loved him, how much she missed him. Plus on a simple base level, watching him undress for bed made her blush like crazy. He never looked when she changed at night, very deliberately keeping his back turned or even leaving the room entirely. Even now she realised he had returned from the bathroom and gone straight over to the window, not glancing at her for a second. Rory realised the sheet had moved and rather a lot of skin was showing - maybe he was as tempted as she felt sometimes.

Across the room, Jess trained his eyes on the skyline and kept them there. He heard Rory shift in the bed, and pictured her in his mind without ever turning. It was torture having her here like this, especially in her half-naked moments, her vulnerable moments. It was too late for that now, for them being any more than friends, at least that’s what he told himself. He couldn’t have Rory now, and that worthless idiot Forester had her first.

Jess was pretty sure a knife went into his gut right around the time when Dean’s name got mentioned. The fact he and Rory had sex, that hurt a lot more than it probably should. She didn’t exactly keep Jess at arms length the whole time they were dating. they got plenty close but never went ‘all the way’ like that. She was never ready, and he respected that, virginal as she was. It always helped somehow knowing that Dean hadn’t had his way with her either. Now Jess knew that was exactly what happened, and it made him want to throw up.

There were a bunch of questions he wanted to ask. Chief among them if the farmer boy had forced her. Jess already knew the answer was no, that wasn’t Dean’s style, and Rory had to be just as guilty of some misguided attempt to recapture past happiness when the present and future weren’t looking to sunny. That was one thing the two of them never did have in common. Jess was always looking forward, to where he was headed. His route there wasn’t always well planned, and even less well executed, but he never had a yen to go backwards... at least not until Stars Hollow, and her, and a slim chance that they could start over. He had gone back for her, finally in a position to be what she needed, and Rory had shut him down. Jess actually thought that was it, that he’d never see her again, and vowed not to try for both their sakes. Suddenly she was here on his doorstep, crying like her heart was breaking, and all bets were off, the clock reset, new rules in play. If only he understood exactly what those rules were, they’d be fine. Undefined was the word right now, even after they talked through what happened and what came next.

 

_“Why did you come here?” he asked seriously, trying to meet her eyes. “I mean of all the places to run, Rory, and you gotta have plenty...”_

_“I don’t,” she shook her head sadly. “And even if I did, I... I need you, Jess,” she told him, just wishing he would get it. “You’re the one person who always understood me, sometimes even better than I understood myself.”_

_Jess was flattered at the idea of what she was saying and he couldn’t really argue either. He was the one who questioned her about all she didn’t have in common with Dean when they first met. Rory was into deep books, classic music, cult movies. Dean didn’t know that stuff, most people in Stars Hollow didn’t, but to say he was the only person who really got her, Jess wasn’t sure he could earn that title so completely in Rory’s eyes._

_“I was pretty sure your Mom knew you best of anyone,” he said, looking down at the floor because it was easier than keeping his gaze on her tear-stained face - she broke his heart sometimes._

_“She does... she did,” Rory faltered, shuffling her feet and wringing her hands. “I don’t always know how to tell her stuff lately, how to explain. With you I never have to. Even if you don’t like what I am or what I do, you just... you seem to get it, get me,” she tried again to explain and knew she failed badly._

_“Yeah,” Jess nodded once, his hand finding hers and holding on. “Well, maybe that’s ‘cause you were the only one who really cared to even try and understand me,” he shrugged._

_They both looked up at the same time. One of the ridiculous cliché moments where there’s a spark, a frisson, whatever you wanted to call it, they sure felt it then._

_“Can I...? Would it be okay if I stayed here a while?” she asked, holding his gaze a moment before glancing down at his hand holding hers. “I just need somewhere to be, to think and figure out where I go from here...”_

 

Jess didn’t think for a moment she was trying to play him with her wide eyes and shy smiles. Rory was what she was, no games or pretensions. She really did just want to crash here, at a friend’s place for all intents and purposes. He agreed, God only knew why, but he did, and here she was for the fourth day running waking up in his bed... half-naked and beautiful... He almost jumped out of his skin when he realised she wasn’t there anymore but right behind him, dressed in her jeans and a T-shirt, holding her coffee mug in both hands and taking a long sip.

“So, what are you doing today?” she asked, looking out at the same view he was.

“Working,” said Jess shortly, drinking down the rest of his own coffee.

“It’s Saturday,” she noted with a frown.

“So it is,” he nodded once, before turning to walk away again. “I’m still working.” 

It was like she did something to upset him, but Rory wasn’t quite sure what it was. He hadn’t been right since she got here, and that could only be because of the way she just descended into his life again without warning. At some point she needed to figure out where she went from here, if she went anywhere at all. In the meantime, she couldn’t stand him being all mad at her.

“Jess?” she called to him.

“What?” he answered without turning around, just stayed by the door with his back to her, concentrating on fastening his watch on his wrist.

“Thank you,” said Rory, at last encouraging him to look at her, “for everything,” she clarified, shifting her feet as if she were the most awkward person in the world.

“You don’t have to keep saying that,” Jess told her, pushing his hair back off his face, feeling like they were stuck in some kind of circular conversation these past couple of days - it was torture.

“I know,” she nodded, “but... thanks anyway,” she repeated.

Jess acknowledged that he heard her but didn’t really say anything else, except to mutter that he’d be home before dark. Then he was gone, the door thudding shut in his wake. Rory looked around the small room of an apartment that suddenly seemed to increase in size tenfold now she was alone, just like it had yesterday and the day before. Alone. She cried.


	3. Chapter 2

Jess had just got done with a very long day of working, but for once since getting his new place he wasn’t exactly thrilled at the prospect of getting home. Not so long ago, the idea of coming back to an apartment of his own and finding Rory there waiting, that would have been Jess’ idea of heaven. How things changed. Of course, his feelings hadn’t altered at all, he loved Rory as much now as he ever had. The problem was what she was feeling, and he doubted at this point if even she knew for sure.

Sleeping with Dean. Of all the God forsaken things his Rory could’ve done, sleeping with that stupid, farmer type, married idiot! He wasn’t good enough for her, and though Jess knew he wasn’t exactly Mr Reliable back in the day either, he could be what she needed now. He loved Rory and he could be everything she ever wanted, if she just gave him the chance. Now she was here, and it seemed as if he was finally going to get his chance, except she hadn’t run into his arms for love and a future together. No, Rory was here because she had nowhere else to go, because she was on the run from the life she knew. Jess couldn’t help but wonder if she really came looking for him so much as she just had to escape somewhere and he was an easy choice. He wouldn’t turn her away or give up her location to anyone who came looking. Jess didn’t want to be wanted for his ability to lie and deceive. He wanted Rory to love him like he loved her, like she had once upon a time in Stars Hollow.

Shaking his head as he trudged up the last flight of stairs, Jess knew he was fast coming up on his own front door, and the young woman in question who was hidden behind it. After a shift at the nearest Walmart, running all over Manhatten with messages right after, and heading across town to pick up a late paycheck for some ad-hoc bar work last weekend, Jess was exhausted. Working three jobs would kill him if he wasn’t built to be as resilient as his childhood had made him. All he wanted now was food and sleep. What he was going to get was awkward conversation and a crappy night on a solid floor, with a beautiful woman in his bed that wasn’t his to have anymore. Yeah, he was really looking forward to this.

Taking a deep breath, Jess shoved his key into the front door and then swung it open. He was stunned to realise that the place was mostly in darkness save for his one lamp shining in the centre of the floor. The bed had been shoved over some, and what looked like a picnic set-up was in the floor space that was left. The only two plates he owned, some mismatched cutlery, and half a large size bottle of soda was set out, and the second Jess came in the door, Rory dashed towards the stove like a woman possessed.

“What’s going on?” he asked, glancing between the floor and Rory, his key still in the open door, and his hand still on it.

“I’m cooking dinner,” she said quickly, concentrating hard as she lit the oven and waited for it to get warm.

Jess was frowning so hard he felt the pressure of doing so and made a conscious effort to stop. He realised he hadn’t moved out of the door way and quickly removed his key, closing said door at last.

“You don’t cook,” he said pointlessly, since they both already knew that.

Sure, he had been gone from Stars Hollow a while now, but he couldn’t imagine Rory had bothered to learn to cook food for herself. She had Lorelai as her main influence and that woman could burn water. The Gilmore Girls relied completely on the kindness of others for their food, be it Sookie, Luke, or Al’s Pancake World when they were feeling brave. They just didn’t cook.

“I, er... I got it from your neighbour,” Rory admitted, tucking her hair behind her ear and barely looking at Jess as she continued to remove the foil from a large dish on the counter. “I was just going to the bathroom, and this woman appeared with this huge dish of lasagne. She saw me coming out of the apartment, so she knew I was staying with you.”

“Mrs Rossini misses nothing,” Jess rolled his eyes, though he was smiling all the same as he wandered over, peering over Rory’s shoulder at the lasagne. “She’s also one of the greatest Italian cooks I ever met in my whole life,” he said, taking a deep breath of the good-smelling food.

“From what I’ve seen so far, you’re right,” Rory smiled, looking back at him, marvelling a moment at the closeness.

They hadn’t gotten this close since the night she arrived and pretty much threw herself into Jess’ arms. The past three days, he seemed to be deliberately keeping her at arms length. Rory supposed she could understand that. He didn’t know what she wanted, and maybe he just didn’t want her anymore. After all, she had shut him down so completely that night at Yale when he asked her to leave with him, and then she went ahead and slept with Dean. The fact Jess was even letting her stay here was a miracle. Maybe friends is all they could ever be now.

“Um, she’s a really nice lady,” she said awkwardly then, anything to break the odd tension that seemed to have settled in. “Like somebody else’s grandma.”

“Mrs Rossini never had kids,” Jess explained, moving away when he too realised how close he had been to Rory.

He leaned back against the wall near the stove, watching her open up the oven door and carefully shove the lasagne inside.

“She had this big love story with a guy, proper true romance stuff, only real,” he said with a hint of a smile that he just couldn’t help. “They got married, but he was in the army. Pearl Harbour.”

The two words were enough to make Rory shudder. She just knew from the way Jess said it and the way he looked at her right now that Mr Rossini died in that place. She felt a little sick, and yet she wanted to hear the rest of what Jess had to tell her about the kind old lady she met this afternoon.

“No kids, no grandkids. Once her parents were gone, Mrs Rossini was pretty much alone in the world,” he explained. “She was a teacher for a while, and a governess, plus a cook. All kinds of jobs, all over the place. She has just enough money to get by, and she cares about everybody else a whole lot more than she cares about herself,” he sighed. “Apparently I remind her of her husband,” he smirked then. “Good looking Italian stock, y’know?”

Rory giggled at that, mostly because she felt stupidly nervous right now. Here she was cooking dinner, or at least warming it up, for her man that had come home from work. Sure, he wasn’t her man exactly, not right now, not anymore, but it was awfully domestic and sweet. Besides, hearing that the old lady downstairs had a crush on Jess was a little funny, even if she shared said crush somehow, even after everything.

“Does she cook for you a lot?” asked Rory, maybe just to take the attention of any other topic. “From what she said, it seemed that way.”

“Sometimes,” Jess shrugged easily. “I don’t like her spending all her pension money on feeding me, so once in a while a few bucks end up in her mail box. You can’t tell her that though, if she knew it was me, she’d never take it.”

“Who does she think it is?” asked Rory, all curiosity as ever.

“Guardian angel,” said Jess as if it were nothing.

He pushed off the wall and muttered something about washing up for dinner. A few minutes later he was back and immediately moved to grab a towel he could use to get the lasagne out of the oven. Rory moved aside to let him do so, still marvelling at the concept of Jess as an angel of any kind. Most of Stars Hollow would be more likely to label him the devil than a heavenly creature, but Rory always knew how sweet he could be, how helpful and kind.

Rory’s mind was soon back on the task at hand when the lasagne emerged, hot and bubbling from the oven. She was hungry, and hadn’t really noticed until her stomach made an effort to rumble. Thankfully she was pretty sure Jess hadn’t heard. She served the food onto their plates, and both sat down lotus style on the floor to eat. Conversation dried up, not just because they were eating but because talking was just awkward most of the time. When they got onto books or movies, even music, it was fine, but somehow every topic seemed to segue too easily into the past, memories of sweet kisses, well-chosen gifts, and promises that had been too easily broken years ago when they were just kids. Most people would say they were still that now, but it wasn’t true. Rory and Jess had both grown up so much in the past couple of years, more than they ever thought they could or needed to. Still, somehow right now it felt good to be here, in a comfortable silence for a change as they ate good food by the mellow light.

“This is nice,” Rory blurted out the moment she had swallowed a mouthful of delicious pasta.

“I told you Mrs Rossini is a good cook,” Jess reminded her, shoving another forkful of lasagne into his mouth without looking up.

“Yeah, but I didn’t mean the food... or not just the food.”

“Huh.”

So much for conversation, Rory’s confession seemed to have struck the both of them dumb the very next second. They continued to eat in silence until both their plates were almost cleared. There was the option for second helpings, but that meant moving, getting up out of this almost intimate situation they seemed to have gotten into without hardly trying. Jess felt as if he were stuck to the floor at first, but when Rory spoke again he started getting that old familiar urge to run.

“Did you mean it?” she asked, eyes to the floor at first and then coming up to meet his when she clarified what she meant. “When you said you love me?”

“Geez, Rory!” he groaned, dropping his fork down onto the plate with a clatter. “You think I’d say it if I didn’t?” he asked, clearly affronted by the question.

Rory looked as guilty as she obviously felt. She hadn’t meant to be so stupid. All the effort it took, all the time, there was no way that Jess would have said he loved her if he didn’t. Maybe she was just fishing for him to repeat it somehow. Even Rory wasn’t sure.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly, putting her own fork down.

She rubbed her hands together as if dusting something off. There was nothing there, it was just something to do with her hands right now.

“I’m sorry too” admitted Jess then. “Telling you that and bolting? Not my finest hour,” he shook his head sadly.

“Agreed,” Rory nodded once, making herself meet his eyes again when she felt his gaze on her. “But I get it now. You couldn’t deal. It was a big step for us, for you,” she explained the facts as she saw them and was glad when he agreed.

“Biggest. Ever,” he nodded definitely. “Well, at least up until I asked you to leave Stars Hollow with me.”

The tension was back, the air in the room suddenly so thick, Rory couldn’t breathe. Finding her voice to speak was tough enough. Knowing what to say when she did was even harder.

The verbal thing, it comes and goes.

Jess’ voice was so clear in her head, she almost thought he had spoken just now, but it was only a memory of a day long ago, before they were even dating. She would smile or even laugh about it if things weren’t so serious. Jess had asked her to run away with him and she had said no, so definitely in fact that she was pretty sure she broke his heart. Truth be told, she broke her own too.

“All those ‘no’s and look where I am now,” she said aloud, though neither of them were entirely sure the thought was meant to leak out into the open like that.

“I’m lookin’,” Jess confirmed, staring at her with that dark, intense gaze of his again. “Why’d you really come here, Rory?”

There was no answer to that, nothing she could think of in this moment that would make any sense. The decision to run away had been rolling around in her head since Barcelona and Paris. Two stops into their Europe trip and she had to tell her grandma she wanted to go home. All that time, she wasn’t entirely sure where she would go, though a voice in her head repeated Jess’ name over and over until she just couldn’t ignore it anymore. He was the one she could safely run to, always. Rory tried to tell him that when she first got here, tried to make him understand, but all words eluded her, all powers of persuasion or explanation just evaporated.

“See, you say you’re here ‘cause I’m the one that gets you, and that’s fine,” he said then, as if he read the thoughts clean out of her head. “But what I can’t figure is whether you’re running toward me, or just away from Dean and your Mom and whatever else is tough in your life right now.”

Rory twisted a paper napkin around and around in her hands. She was better than this, smarter than this. She had words enough to say, she was sure she did and yet...

“Do you even know?” Jess prompted her again for an answer, one she clearly either couldn’t or wouldn’t give.

When she shook her head in the negative, he just couldn’t take it. A part of Jess so wanted to walk out right now, slam the door, go get drunk or just get lost in the dark. He wouldn’t do it of course, not least because leaving Rory alone like that wasn’t an option, not here. In any case, wasn’t he the one who told her she could depend on him now? Just because maybe she didn’t want as much from him as he’d like to give, Jess would not walk out on her, not again, not after everything. He got as far as standing up and turning away but that was all.

“You’re right,” said her cracking voice behind him, and Jess closed his eyes at the sound. “I am running from tough choices and bad decisions, but I told you before, there were other places I could’ve run to. My grandparents, my Dad, friends from Yale even, but I didn’t. I chose you,” she repeated, appearing at his shoulder, but Jess didn’t move at all. “Yes, I chose you because you always understood me, but also for a million other reasons that it would take me all night to explain and even then I’d probably screw it up,” she admitted, as the tears started to come. “Mostly, I... I just miss you, Jess,” she cried, putting her hand on his shoulder, hoping he would turn around but he didn’t yet. “I suddenly realised that I’d been so unfair to you, so... so judgmental, when you never really judged me. Don’t get me wrong, you were no saint when we were dating, you made bad calls too, but you always loved me for who I am, and in spite of who I am sometimes,” she went on, and that seemed to be enough to get his full attention. “Trying to go back and be with Dean, it just reminded me why we broke up in the first place, why I had to move on with you. I love you, Jess,” she said as definitely as she ever said anything.

There was a moment of silence when she feared he was going to turn away again, tell her she was too late maybe. Rory was pretty sure she wasn’t breathing, and then suddenly Jess was kissing her and the world fell away.

Somehow she had been waiting for this moment, not just since she got here to this apartment, not even since Jess said he loved her. Rory had an idea in her head that from the second they parted she was waiting for Jess to come back, for their beautiful reunion with exactly this kiss that was making her knees want to buckle in a second.

It felt different, always had with Jess. Not that she was exactly thinking of her ex right now, but Dean could never make her feel this much. She had sex with that man, and she had regretted it. She had no problem with letting Jess take away the awful memory of her first time. Making believe that this was where her virginity would be lost, that was a better plan for Rory. She leaned into Jess embrace and his kiss, not at all worried when they ended up with their legs hitting the end of the bed. They sat down more out of necessity and momentum than design.

His hands in her hair and his lips on hers took everything else away. The state of the apartment, the string of mistakes and fights that had almost torn them completely apart. They were here now, together, as they always should’ve been. Everything else was a blur, water under the bridge, just didn’t matter, at least not tonight.

“Rory,” he whispered her name, very deliberately putting her at arms length even when she made a noise of protest and struggled to get close again. “Rory, we can’t just...”

“Yes, we can,” she told him definitely. “I want to. Don’t you?”

Of all the stupid questions in the world, and they both knew it too. When he kissed her again, Jess decided it was time to give in. This was what he had wanted for so long, for Rory to admit she loved him, for them to be together. She just said she wanted this and he didn’t doubt her. At least a part of it was probably trying to wipe out the memory of what happened with Dean. She certainly seemed to regret that, and Jess wasn’t sorry to know it. Right now he wasn’t giving the farmer guy any thought at all. Everything was about Rory, and the fact that he loved her, and she loved him. He laid her down on the bed and she didn’t seem to be changing her mind. He gave her every opportunity, but Rory was definite in what she said and as into this moment as Jess was. Right now, it felt nothing short of perfect.


	4. Chapter 3

Rory woke up feeling as warm and comfortable as she ever had in her life. For a split second she thought she was at home in Stars Hollow, in her very own room. As her eyes opened, memories came flooding back like a tidal wide. Instead of that wave knocking her off her feet and drowning her, it rushed over her, all warm and comforting. She was in New York, she had just had the best night of her life, and her pillow was no pillow at all, it was Jess.

There was a smile on her lips as she curled in closer and kissed his chest. They had spent the night making love and then sleeping in each others arms. This was how Rory wanted to spend every night from now on, every day too. As far as she could tell, this was the very best place in the world, just because she was here with the man she loved.

“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty,” he said, moving to kiss her hair.

“Morning,” she replied, tipping her head back to look up at him.

Their lips met in a sweet kiss that lit a flame of passion all over again and went on longer than either meant for it to. When they parted, Rory found she still couldn’t stop smiling as she stared up at Jess. He was so beautiful, she always thought so, but never more so than now. He was all she ever truly wanted in a guy, and it seemed wrong to think how much time it had taken for her to admit it, how long they had spent wasting their time apart from each other.

“You okay?” he checked then, seeing her smile begin to fade into a frown.

Whether he was asking purely about her mood shift or checking she wasn’t in any pain or whatever after their night’s activities, Rory couldn’t be sure. Either way, she loved that he asked.

“Yes, I’m okay,” she promised. “Better than okay.”

“Oh, yeah?” he checked, trying not to smirk.

Women rarely liked guys who were too cocky about anything, especially their sexual prowess. Besides, he doubted Rory’s happiness was all about what they’d done last night. Sex was only half of this, maybe not even that much. The biggest deal was her confession, telling him she loved him. It was all Jess ever wanted to hear and though he had a feeling he was turning into a girl just thinking it, last night had been pretty much perfect, almost as perfect as waking up like this with Rory in his arms.

“This is how it’s supposed to be,” she said then, laying her head back on his chest and revelling at the feeling of his arms around her. “You and me... it’s how it was always supposed to happen.”

She was mumbling by the end of her sentence, a tinge of sadness to her voice and Jess could guess why. This wasn’t her first time, it certainly wasn’t Jess’ either, but with girls it was different, he knew that. Rory let Dean into her bed in some misguided attempt at rekindling the past. She gave away something that was precious to a woman, to a man so unworthy that Jess could hardly stand it. Last night he had hoped to wipe out that memory for Rory. Maybe he hadn’t done it as completely as he thought, since it was likely nothing ever really could.

Rory wished she hadn’t said anything now. The last person she wanted to think about in this moment was Dean Forester. The truth was, the comparison wasn’t fair anyway. What she had shared with him was a childish make believe moment, an awkward fumble that she longed to forget. What happened here in this bed with Jess was real and passionate and beautiful. It was love, pure and simple.

“I think I could stay here forever,” she said after a while. “Is forever good for you?” she asked, tipping her head back again to meet Jess’ eyes.

He smiled that rare smile that she had missed so much and leaned down to kiss her lips.

“Forever works,” he assured her, not even caring how dumb and fairytale the concept was.

Right now, he wanted to believe it could be this good and this simple for as long as they lived. Just for a little while, it was a nice dream to share.

* * *

She’d been sat at the counter for a half an hour, and Luke hadn’t seen her even touch her coffee yet. This just wasn’t normal, not at all. The day she found the note saying Rory was gone and not saying where, Lorelai went a little crazy. She was always crazy, but before it had been the cute, endearing kind, if such a thing existed. Now it was just scary how lost she seemed without her daughter.

They’d looked everywhere, called everyone. Rory hadn’t talked to her grandparents, not since she insisted Emily bring her home early from their Europe trip. Christopher had no clue what was happening. Lane was oblivious too. Lorelai had tried everyone from Rory’s school-mate Paris to her ex-boyfriend Dean. Nobody knew anything, simply not a thing.

Luke felt bad for being put out that his almost-dating situation with Lorelai had fallen flat because of Rory running away. They had been okay, they had been close to something, and then this happened and it threw everybody for a loop, most especially Lorelai. There was no room in her head for anything but the inn and Rory, and not necessarily in that order. She had to care about the business she and Sookie were just now getting off the ground, but that was all. It was work, or looking for Rory, wishing she’d call, worrying about what had happened to her. Luke hated that he couldn’t help more. The police were no help, since Rory was legally an adult. She had left a note to say she was leaving, so there was no danger or crime as far as the cops were concerned. They didn’t understand. A whole week had passed now, and no leads whatsoever. It was as if Rory just evaporated or something.

“Hey,” said Luke, approaching Lorelai with caution. “You, er...” he began as she looked up at him with teary eyes. “I’m sorry, I was gonna ask something stupid like ‘Are you okay?’ and obviously you’re not, I know that, I... I’m sorry,” he rambled some, reaching a hand to adjust his hat even though it required no adjustment.

Lorelai sniffed hard and tried for a smile that didn’t really happen.

“No, I’m sorry,” she told him, grabbing a napkin and blowing her nose. “I just... All I can think about is where she might be and why. What she’s doing and why hasn’t she called?” she shook her head sadly. “It’s all so out-of-character. I mean this is Rory, our Rory,” she explained pointlessly, since of course Luke already knew that.

“Seems to me the out-of-character had started before she left town,” he said in the lowest of low voices so even the very few patrons of the diner right now would never hear. “I mean, sleeping with Dean? After everything... and I mean, he’s married!”

“I know,” Lorelai nodded sadly. “I don’t get it, I don’t get any of it! I mean, it would’ve been crazy enough if she left with him, or if she stayed in Europe for the rest of her life. It would’ve been crazy, but I maybe could’ve wrapped my head around it,” she sighed. “But this? Just running out, no clue where? I mean who the hell is there left in her life that we didn’t call?”

Luke opened his mouth and then closed it again sharply. He had one idea, even though it would probably seem not just abhorrent but completely nutty to Lorelai. His own nephew, Jess, had been Rory’s boyfriend too, somewhere between Dean and now. They had a connection, there was no denying it, and it wasn’t so long ago Jess had confessed to Luke that he had told Rory he loved her. She probably didn’t feel the same, if she had she would’ve left with Jess or begged him to stay, and she sure wouldn’t have slept with Dean right after. It made no sense, but they had tried everyone else.

“I, er... I have an address, and a number that might still be in service,” he said awkwardly. “For Jess.”

“No,” Lorelai shook her head definitely. “No, Rory would never go to him, not after everything. She wouldn’t even know where to go if she wanted to, and she wouldn’t. Ever!”

Luke didn’t take offence. He knew how much Jess had hurt Rory in the past, and he was as mad about that as anyone. At the same time, he knew his nephew’s issues caused by Liz and Jimmy and all, they were the reasons he was a bad boyfriend. It wasn’t really his fault he turned out emotionally awkward. Luke was hardly the greatest role model for that himself.

“Actually,” he said slowly, hardly daring to meet Lorelai’s suddenly harsh gaze. “Rory would know where to find Jess if she wanted to,” he admitted. “Jess asked me to give her his details, just in case...”

He shrugged, leaving the sentence hanging there. Luke wasn’t being deliberately cryptic. He had repeated exactly what Jess said when he made Luke promise to pass on the address and number. Just in case. In case of what, he couldn’t possibly guess in the circumstances, but he did as he was asked, figuring it could never do any real harm.

Lorelai looked thoughtful for a long moment, because that’s how she was feeling. Would Rory run to Jess? She couldn’t imagine it, but then she couldn’t ever imagine a day when her daughter would run from her without any real explanation. Times they were a-changing of late, and for the most part, not in ways that Lorelai much cared for. Some things never changed. Rory had proven she still loved Dean when she slept with him, proved she didn’t want Jess when she let him leave town without protest. That was how Lorelai saw things, perhaps because it was the most convenient way for her to do so.

“Doesn’t matter,” she said definitely then. “She wouldn’t go to him, and I don’t want you calling and telling him what’s happening, Luke. I really don’t.”

“Okay,” Luke nodded easily. “I promise, I won’t call Jess. At least, not about Rory,” he said, with a definite sweep of his hand.

Lorelai was probably right, Rory wouldn’t run to Jess anyhow. Of all the people in the world, she would never.

* * *

It was late in the afternoon. Rory and Jess hadn’t really gotten out of bed yet, not officially. He hopped out to grab the phone and order take out he couldn’t really afford, and they’d both made separate mad dashes to the bathroom wearing as little as they could manage without embarrassing themselves in the hallway. It was never long before they were back in bed curled up together, enjoying the fact it was a sunny Sunday in New York, and that they were so completely happy and in love.

Rory knew what she said before about staying here in this moment forever was impractical and childish, but it was a nice dream for as long as it could last. It had taken so long for her to realise that Jess was the only guy she ever truly wanted. Now she did know, now they were here, making love and lazing the day away in comfortable silence for the most part. There was no other place she could ever imaging wanting to be.

Jess was reading aloud to her right now, and Rory was dozing on his chest, one hand playing with the edges of the comforter that didn’t quite cover their bodies. She had been listening intently to start off with, but now her mind was wandering. She recalled days spent in her room, or the diner apartment, even out on the bridge, when they would read together, or silently in each others company. It took her thoughts back to Stars Hollow all too easily, and that made her happy and sad all at the same time.

Rory thought of her mother, and how freaked out Lorelai must be right about now. Jess never suggested she call her or anything, though Rory was sure the thought occurred to him. As much as he tried to pretend he cared for nothing in Stars Hollow but her alone, Rory knew Jess wondered how Luke was doing. He had asked in a round about way and Rory was happy to tell him things were fine. She wasn’t sure how he’d take it when she revealed his Uncle was dating her Mom now. It was just a little suprising when he had laughed and declared ‘finally!’. After all, that was how Rory felt herself.

Calling her Mom ought to be a priority for Rory, she knew that now. She’d known it in some form or other since she got here, but a night in Jess’ arms had only made her more sure that she needed Lorelai to now where she was. They had long talks about sex, about Rory telling her Mom before experiencing her first time. Of course, that hadn’t worked out so well. This was better, this was the kind of night that Rory wanted to share with her best girl-friend who was also her mother, but she couldn’t.

“Hey,” Jess said softly, pushing Rory’s hair back off her face. “Why do I think you haven’t heard a word of this chapter?” he checked, just as smart and observant as ever.

“Because I haven’t?” she admitted, looking guiltily up at him. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” he promised. “But if there’s something on your mind...”

“There’s not,” she lied. “There is,” she admitted in a second, knowing he’d see through it anyway. “I just... I was thinking about how I left, how my Mom is probably freaking out,” she told him, pulling herself up to lay beside him where it was easier to talk.

Jess abandoned the book onto the floor and turned onto his side to face her, his head propped up on his hand. She was struggling with this, he knew. The last few days, he daren’t really mention Lorelai for fear of the reaction he’d get. Something more happened than just Rory and Dean making a mistake. Lorelai wouldn’t have taken it well, Jess was pretty sure on that, and he had to assume the Gilmore girls had some kind of epic fight which had been a much bigger part of Rory’s running out on Stars Hollow than she was originally willing to admit. Now it seemed he was going to get the truth of the matter.

“I went to Europe with Grandma to get away,” she sighed, looking guilty as Rory was wont to do about a lot of things. “I thought it’d help, but it didn’t. Getting away from my Mom judging me... it couldn’t help, because I was judging me too,” she admitted. “I knew what I did was wrong. I knew, and I couldn’t stand it, because... because there was no taking it back.”

She was going to cry again, Jess knew it and he couldn’t stand it. His hand cupped her cheek and pulled her closer. He kissed her lips and let his fingers wander through her hair.

“Everybody makes mistakes, Ror,” he reminded her what she already had to know. “My first time wasn’t exactly the best of experiences either, and I know you’re gonna say it’s different, ‘cause I’m a guy,” he rolled his eyes. “But, honestly? I... I kinda wish I waited for you, y’know?”

“That’s sweet,” she told him, even though she knew he’d probably hate that.

Guys didn’t want to be told they were sweet or cute or adorable. For them it was about being cool and manly. Still, Jess didn’t argue with her compliment, he only smiled.

“Yeah, well, all I’m saying is, things don’t always work out perfectly,” he explained. “You and me, we know that better than anyone.”

“But things can also figure themselves out in the end” she smiled. “We sure know that’s true,” she grinned, taking her turn at kissing him this time.

She pushed herself closer and didn’t protest at all as he pulled her on top of his body, getting lost in another passionate embrace. Some things just felt too good to let common sense ruin them, and so the moment went on and on. It only broke when Jess realised he was getting wet, tears from Rory’s eyes falling onto his chest.

“Hey, what’s this?” he asked with a genuine frown - he had not seen that coming.

“Nothing,” she sniffled, pulling back and wiping a hand across her face. “I don’t know, I just... I’m so happy here with you, and the one person I want to talk to about it, I can’t,” she shrugged.

Jess knew they were back to Lorelai. As much as he and Rory’s Mom never really got along, he knew how close the two of them were, and what their friendship meant.

“Call her,” he advised. “Honestly, it’s cool. I can go out if you want...”

“No,” Rory said definitely, shaking her head and refusing to let him get away when he tried to leave the bed. “No, not right now,” she insisted. “I can’t. I just want today to be us, like it was before I let my brain start thinking again.”

“Ah, yes, that stupid thinking thing that you do,” he replied sarcastically, happily letting her back into his arms and hugging her tight, her head under his chin.

“It is stupid,” she agreed. “Who needs to think anyway?”

“Not us, that’s for sure,” Jess deadpanned, kissing the top of her head. “Maybe if you get some sleep, you’ll feel better,” he advised.

Rory nodded against his chest, and let out a little sigh as she settled comfortably against him. Jess just lay there listening to her breath, knowing after a while that she had indeed fallen asleep. He would do the same if he could, but it was never going to happen. As happy as he was to be here with Rory like this, it couldn’t last forever. She missed her Mom already, she would miss more people and places and familiarities soon. If she wanted to head back to Stars Hollow eventually, Jess had no idea if he could stand to go with her, and yet watching her walk away now, after everything, it might just kill him. For now, he just held on tight to the woman of his dreams and hoped for a happy ending he couldn’t really bring himself to believe in.


	5. Chapter 5

Rory Gilmore was happy. It was a strange sensation that almost made her feel just as guilty as she was cheerful, but she couldn’t say she was sorry for it. Running away from Stars Hollow, from her family and friends, she had regretted it at first, thought she had done this terrible thing. Now, after three weeks away, she knew she had made the right decision in coming here. It stopped feeling like she had run away when she finally admitted to Jess that she loved him, that she had always loved him. Now it genuinely felt as if she had been running to something, to someone, and right now, Rory had no intention of being anywhere else.

She had called her mother the day after her conversation with Jess on the topic. It was cowardly, she knew, to wait until she was positive Lorelai would be out and just leave a message on the answering machine, but Rory wasn’t in a place where she could have a serious talk with her mother right now.

She was still ashamed of what happened with Dean, and in Europe, and with her Mom too. There was no good explanation to give, and there was certainly no good way to tell Lorelai that she was back together with Jess. Rory felt that conversation probably ought to be face to face anyhow.

The message she left was short, if not sweet. She apologised for running away like a kid and assured her mother she was safe and well. She ended with ‘I’ll see you soon’ and flinched a little at her own words. Soon was a relative term. Rory knew when she used it her Mom would assume a few days, maybe a week. It had already been two weeks since she left that message, and so far Rory couldn’t imagine making the trip back to Stars Hollow.

It was easy to forget most of the time, or at least to put it all out of her head. Being here with Jess was kind of like kids playing house, but somewhat more serious. They were young and in love, and this Summer was allowing them a little freedom to get to know each other all over again and in a new way. Jess still had to work, and his three jobs sure took up a lot of his time. Rory knew by now that some of his shifts were at night, and had made him promise not to give them up or trade them for her sake. He made a big deal about leaving her alone in the apartment when it was dark out, but she told him that was a dumb excuse not to earn the money they both knew he needed. She made promises about keeping the door bolted and not answering if anyone knocked. She swore that she would run to Mrs Rossini if anything bothered her or seemed to be wrong. After all that, Jess had given in, only because he had to. Sure, Rory was tougher than she looked, but more than that, he really did have to keep these jobs of his if he wanted to keep living in his apartment and paying the bills.

It had taken several days for Rory to get bored and crave work herself. Lazing around the apartment alone was okay for a while. She worked her way through the few books of her own she had brought with her, and then a whole stack that Jess had stashed in the apartment. There was time spent with Mrs Rossini, and she even tried her hand at cleaning and tidying in the small dingy apartment. After all this, she realised maybe it would be good if she had a job too, even a part time one, to help with the bills and keep herself busy. She asked Jess about it when he got home late that night, but he was too tired to discuss it and they had just fallen asleep together, promising to talk about it another time. Rory didn’t argue, because it just wasn’t important. She could get papers some time and check the ‘help wanted’ section, Jess would help, it would be fine. Honestly, she was just so happy that he didn’t freak out at the idea of her getting some kind of job here. Rory would so hate to start fighting when they were currently so stupidly happy.

When Jess was home, they were the picture of loved-up bliss. Short conversations about work segued into what she had been reading, and nine times out of ten, kissing took over and they ended up in bed. Young love was a beautiful thing, like the songs and the poems often said. Rory never realised it could be quite like this and she told Jess as much just yesterday as they laid together in the half-light.

“I guess we just got lucky,” he told her, kissing her forehead as his fingers continued to run through her hair.

He sounded wrong, off somehow, and Rory couldn’t think why. Jess got thoughtful at times, and she was used to that. He’d been that way since they met, and she had learnt not to question it. In the end, he usually told her what was up, or he simply got over it. Sure, he had run out on her a couple of times but he always came back, and after all these years, all they’d been through, Rory hoped he understood that there was nothing he had to hide from her anymore. Just in case, she decided to make it very clear.

“You still want me here, right?” she checked, pulling herself up so their faces were level on the pillow.

He stared at her for a long moment, his hand moving to trace the curve of her face, her neck, her shoulder. She wondered if he was ever going to answer her when suddenly his lips quirked into a smile and he spoke.

“I want you here,” he promised. “There’s never been anyone or anything else I wanted as much.”

She smiled too when she heard that, even if he couldn’t seem to hold her gaze for the whole confession. It wasn’t because he didn’t mean it, Rory knew that. He felt dumb, unsure of himself, maybe. Jess was quite the enigma. All cocky and smart-mouthed when he was sounding off about books or music, telling people how stupid they were being. When it came to anything real, emotions and the truth of his feelings, he struggled terribly, as if he expected someone to laugh at him or tell him he was stupid or wrong for what he was saying. She hated that his upbringing had done that to him.

“Hey,” she said, putting a hand to his cheek and making him look. “I want to be here too,” she assured him.

“For how long?” he asked too seriously, watching Rory’s smile fade.

It was a conversation they had both been avoiding. For two weeks they had skirted around the issue of how long she would be here, what happened when the Summer ended and a new school year began? Yale were expecting Rory for the Sophomore year and she hadn’t said she dropped out yet, just that she needed to get away. She hadn’t asked Jess to go back to Stars Hollow with her, hadn’t even said if she would be going herself. Though he was loathe to admit it, even to himself, up until now Jess had been too afraid to ask her.

“Jess...” she sighed, rolling onto her back and staring at the ceiling.

Rory didn’t want to have to think about what came next. Living in this bubble of love and happiness, a world away from what she knew, Rory was content. It was only late June, meaning she was officially free for at least another three months before she had to consider Yale, Stars Hollow, the place that had seemed like her only real home, until now.

Jess took her apparent change in mood as a bad sign. Rory was the talker, always. He was the moody, silent type, the one that ran away from complication or trouble. Now suddenly he wanted to have a serious discussion about their relationship and she was the one turning away. Hell, she was the one that literally ran from her home, doing an awfully good impression of him not so long ago. Maybe they were even more alike than anyone could ever guess.

“I gotta go to work,” he muttered, shifting to get out of bed.

Rory glanced over and watched him get dressed, his back to her the entire time. She didn’t want to make him mad or hurt him, not Jess, of all people. He had a right to ask what happened next with them, but she simply didn’t have an answer. She didn’t want this Summer to end and yet she knew it must. Trying to mesh this life with what she had before seemed impossible. The best of both words weren’t necessarily going to go hand in hand this time. Rory hated tough choices. Somehow making a pro-con list seemed wrong, especially without her Mom to help her.

“I’m sorry,” she told Jess as he buttoned his shirt. “Jess, please!” she tried again when he didn’t respond, clambering across the bed to reach out for him.

She was on her knees behind him, wrapping her arms around his body and planting kisses on his back. Jess closed his eyes, trying not to give in just because she was touching him. It was impossible. He loved her too much to let something so stupid force them apart again. He should live in the moment and enjoy what they had now for as long as they had it. Screw what came later, it shouldn’t matter. He told Rory she could depend on him now, and it was hardly proving the point if he forced her to make decisions she wasn’t ready for, thinking of ultimatums he could put forward.

“Please don’t leave when you’re all mad at me,” she whispered, sounding so sad, Jess felt his heart breaking in his chest.

“I’m not mad,” he told her, turning around at last, struck as he always was by the beauty and wonder of her naked form in his bed.

He captured her lips and pulled her closer, knowing how good it would feel just to give in right now. The problem was he had work to get to, and he was already a little later in leaving than he should be. Jess had Rory laid down on the bed again before he forced himself to pull away. Her arms locked around his neck stopped him going too far.

“You’re not mad?” she doubled checked, pushing his hair back out of his eyes for him.

“Not mad,” he promised, planting one last kiss on her lips and another on her nose for good measure before he forcibly disentangled himself from her arms.

“You sure you wanna leave?” she smiled, practically striking a pose that would be capable of sending many a man crazy.

“Nope,” Jess told her definitely, smirking at her gall. “But no work means no pay, and I’ve got a lady to keep to the standard of life she has become accustomed,” he said, as he fastened his watch on his wrist. “Coffee and junk food doesn’t buy itself, sweetheart, we gotta have money.”

“Yes, I heard that,” she nodded, pulling the covers up over her body, but staying comfortably in bed. “In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women” she smirked, glad to see his smile back because he knew what movie she was quoting - that was one of a hundred things she loved about him.

“Do you know how hot you are when you quote De Niro?” he asked her, making her giggle. “Of course, I’m pretty sure I’ve got the woman either way,” he said, leaning over to kiss her one last time before he really had to go. “Get some sleep,” he told her, as he pulled on his jacket and left at last.

Rory was still smiling even after he was gone. The bed still smelled of him, and though she could never be as warm and comfortable as when Jess was here with her, she still felt happy and content enough to do as he advised, and get some rest.

* * *

Rory woke up sweating and feeling strange. There may have been a nightmare, but she wasn’t really sure. She sat up fast, groping around for her watch. In the dim light she could make out that it was early in the morning, a little past two as far as she could tell. That would explain why it was still dark out, and why Jess wasn’t home yet.

Her stomach lurched when she moved at all, a terrible feeling of heat rising in the back of her throat. Rory leapt out of bed, threw on the nearest clothes and bolted for the door. Her fingers fumbled with the locks and she barely made it into the communal bathroom before she threw up spectacularly. Tears came to her eyes and began to pour down her cheeks as her stomach emptied itself into the toilet. She didn’t even think about trying not to make noise or worry about anyone finding her, half-dressed in the middle of the night. Thankfully, nobody came to disturb her.

Rory flushed the toilet, dragged herself to her feet and washed her hands and face at the basin. She was shaking like crazy, a combination of the cold and the sickness, as well as leaping out of bed so fast, she supposed. It took all her strength to get back on her feet and even think about heading back to the apartment. Her head hurt, her stomach twisted into knots with every movement, and if it weren’t for the fact she was pretty sure she was empty already, Rory would worry she was going to hurl again.

Staggering out into the hall, she had just reached the apartment door when she realised it had closed behind her, with the keys inside. 

“No, no, no!”

She began to curse, slamming her hand pointlessly against the door.

Shaking and shivering still, and very aware of the unsavoury neighbours when she heard voices yelling beyond their doors, Rory pulled Jess’ shirt tighter around her quaking frame and headed for the stairs. She swallowed hard as she descended to the lower floor and took herself along to Mrs Rossini’s place. She knocked quietly but firmly, a little surprised that it had worked so easy when she heard movement inside. There was a scraping sound, and Rory didn’t doubt Mrs R was looking out through the spy hole, checking who was there, after all, it was two in the morning.

“Mamma mia!” she suddenly gasped, opening the door and reaching for the young woman just in time.

Poor Rory passed out straight into the old lady’s arms without a word spoken.


	6. Chapter 5

Rory woke up with an ache in her back and the most disgusting taste on her tongue. It took a few moments for her to remember what had happened, and a minute more to figure out where she was exactly. There had been running and puking, that was coming back to her in vivid Technicolor that she kind of wished she could get rid of, truth be told. She sat up very gingerly, knowing immediately she was in Mrs Rossini’s apartment. It was just the one room like Jess’ but filled with all kinds of knick-knacks and trinkets, stored up over way more years than Rory could count right now, since her head was still pretty dizzy.

“Oh, Rory, my dear,” the little Italian woman herself exclaimed, the moment she realised her young friend was awake. “You gave me a fright, honey, don’t you do that again!”

She looked different, Rory noticed, dressed in an oversized robe, with curlers in her hair. Even though she already knew Mrs Rossini had to be pretty aged, she looked older at such a ridiculous hour of the night, all ready for bed. Rory was keeping an old lady from a good night’s sleep, that made her feel bad, but the moment she considered getting off the couch and leaving, her body put in a protest vote.

“Ugh,” she groaned, closing her eyes again a moment. “I feel... weird,” she said after a moment’s blurry thought.

“And you don’t look much better,” Mrs Rossini told her plainly, bringing over a glass of water for her to sip. “Now, sip slowly,” she advised her ‘patient’. “No use gulping it down, that’ll just make it come back for a return visit too soon.”

“Thank you,” said Rory politely as she took the glass and dutifully sipped the cool drink. “I’m so sorry about this, I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” she said, taking another dainty taste of her water. “I mean, I felt kind of weird yesterday morning... and the one before now that I think about it,” she considered. “Kind of sick, but not? It’s hard to explain. Then today it was just so sudden and I had to rush to the bathroom. It was... not pretty,” she admitted, swallowing hard as she thought about it. “I went back to the apartment, but the door had shut, and Jess is working all night, so I came here and then... and then...”

“And then you passed out right into my arms,” Mrs Rossini supplied helpfully as she took a seat by Rory’s feet at the end of the couch. “Lucky you’re just a little thing and I come from good strong stock, or you would’ve flattened me!” she declared, showing no real sign of annoyance in spite of everything.

“I’m so sorry, Mrs R,” said Rory, still trying to take slow sips of her water - it was getting a little easier all the time.

“Now, that’s enough apologies. If you’re sick, you’re sick,” she said arranging the blanket from the back of the couch over her young guest’s knees. “Of course, you and I both know its not just some bug you’re carrying around, don’t we?” she practically winked before getting up and wandering away to the little kitchen area.

Rory frowned, hard. Of course she was sick from a bug. There was only that or food poisoning, and that seemed unlikely. Sure, she and Jess ate a lot of take-out, but always from the same couple of places where they’d had no problems before. Besides, Rory was like her mother, she pretty much had an iron gut. What other reason was there to feel sick, especially in the mornings... 

“Oh my God!” Rory suddenly gasped, feeling all the more nauseous as a realisation hit her.

She was doing math in her head and failing miserably at it, despite the fact she wasn’t trying to count higher than four. Four weeks ago. She had been here almost three, so before that. Her mind raced as she realised she could count back at least six, maybe even seven weeks before she hit the occasion she was looking for. That was long before sex with Jess. In fact, that was before sex with Dean.

“Oh, no!” she gasped, letting her face fall into her hands.

Mrs Rossini came hurrying back, grabbing up the young woman in her arms and hugging her tight. She rubbed Rory’s back and tried to bring comfort, berating herself in muttered Italian for being so foolish. Of course, this wasn’t planned. The poor girl was terrified and so confused, even though she had to know what making love could sometimes mean for a woman.

“Oh, passerotta, ti prego, non piangere,” Mrs Rossini was saying, and though Rory had no idea what it meant, she guessed it was something kind, designed to make her stop from crying.

Unfortunately, that didn’t come easy. Rory couldn’t be pregnant, that was crazy, and yet it suddenly seemed like a likely explanation. They had been so careful, her and Jess. Her and Dean too, even though she would prefer not to even consider how he might factor into this situation. Jess was going to lose it as it was, Rory was sure of that. He said she could depend on him now and she believed him, but this was so much more than either of them had expected.

For now, Rory couldn’t even consider what to tell Jess or how to go about it. All she could do was cry her heart out in the arms of a kind old lady who just wanted to help her. It was comforting, but honestly, all Rory wanted right now was her Mom.

* * *

“Lorelai?” Luke called from the front door.

He had got into the habit of letting himself into the Gilmore house when the door was unlocked, and Lorelai didn’t seem to mind at all. Of course, she usually appeared before he got very far into the living room, and if she didn’t jump out from some corner or seat, she usually yelled that she’d be right there. As it was there was nothing, not a movement or a sound, at least not at first.

“Lorelai, are you upstairs?” he yelled up that way but got no reply, then he heard the awful sound.

Nothing was more unbearable than a woman in tears. Luke remembered as a kid seeing his mother cry and hating every second of it until the sadness was over. As much as Liz drove him crazy, watching his sister break down always broke Luke’s heart too. It was no different with Lorelai, or with Rory for that matter. He felt their pain and he hated it. He knew before he reached the door of Rory’s bedroom that he would find his girlfriend in tears. Luke also knew he would have no clue what to say or do to make it better.

Lorelai looked up as the door opened wider. She was sat on the edge of the bed, clinging on tight to a sweater belonging to her daughter. Rory had taken some clothes with her, but there were plenty left behind, so many books and personal items. Luke had to think she was missing her own stuff, her own room, and more than anything her mother. Saying so wasn’t going to help right now. He had no clue of anything he could ever say to make it better, so he didn’t try. Luke sat down on the bed next to Lorelai and put his arms around her when she shifted her weight and leaned into him.

“She turned into me,” she sobbed into Luke’s plaid-covered chest. “I tried to stop it happening, but I couldn’t, and now it’s too late.”

“Hey, if Rory has turned out anything like you, I call that a good thing,” said Luke definitely as he hugged her tighter. “You are a smart, successful, compassionate, beautiful woman. Rory wanted to be like you, I’m pretty sure she still does,” he said definitely, even as Lorelai made a noise akin to scoffing at the very idea. “Hey, I’m serious,” he said definitely, moving her body and making her look at him. “Lorelai, she made a mistake with Dean and she knows it. She ran out because... I don’t know, because she feels stupid, and like she let you down, like she let herself down too, I guess,” he reasoned. “When she gets over it, she’ll be back, you two will patch things up, and everything will be okay again.”

Lorelai wanted to believe that, of course she did, but it didn’t come easy. Rory was a lot like her, and that was okay for the most part. A coffee-addiction, a love of old movies and junk food, none of that was so bad. They had a similar sense of humour and could only be out-talked by one another, which was kind of great actually. Lorelai just didn’t want Rory to have the teenage years that she went through, didn’t want her to hook up with the wrong guy or feel the need to run out on those that loved her.

“I still screwed up,” she sniffed hard, gratefully accepting the handkercheif Luke put into her hands then. “I handled it wrong, the whole Dean situation... Even before that with Jess,” she admitted, sadly shaking her head. “The one thing she needed me to be cool about and... and I just screwed it all up,” she said, her arm smacking hard into her leg with frustration.

“You didn’t screw up, Lorelai,” Luke assured her, rubbing her arm as he pulled her closer and her head settled on his shoulder. “Okay, so neither of us were much use with Rory and Jess, but things have been okay since then. Rory’s a good kid, and like I said, she just made one mistake. Give it a week or two, she’ll realise the only place she wants to be is home with her Mom.”

“It’s already been three weeks,” said Lorelai softly. “Three weeks of missing my baby girl, and all I got from her was one lousy message on the answering machine.”

“Well, that’s better than nothing,” her boyfriend reminded her. “At least we know she’s safe and sound somewhere... or that she was. She still is,” he corrected himself twice before he was happy with what he said.

He wasn’t helping, Luke knew he couldn’t before he ever came into the room, but he was trying and that was all there was to do right now. Honestly, Lorelai would have to admit that just his presence here was helping. The part Luke played in her life, being closer now like they probably always should’ve been, it was a huge comfort.

They sat in comfortable silence for a long time, and Luke’s mind started to wander. He was worried about Rory too, of course he was, but this whole situation was also making him think about Jess. He hadn’t heard from his nephew in a while now. Last he called him, the phone was out of service, so Luke was forced to wait until Jess got back to him, probably with a new number, maybe even a new address. It was that or go to New York and see if he was still in the same place, just sans telephone.

Now wasn’t a good time to leave Stars Hollow, not even for a day or a part of one. Lorelai needed him close by as much as possible, and Luke was happy to be here. Whatever she needed, he would always be there, this much he promised her again now as he held her tight and kissed the top of her head. It was all he could do.

* * *

Rory was pretty sure she never felt this freaked out by anything in her whole life. Getting into Chilton, getting into college, her first time having sex, all things that ought to be a big deal suddenly paled into insignificance. She might be pregnant, carrying a child inside of her. Well, not quite a child yet, but a something, a being that was part her and part another person. She felt giddy and sick and so terribly mixed up, and all she wanted to do was talk this out with Jess already. She was back in his apartment now, thanks to Mrs Rossini. Apparently, Jess and Mrs R swapped emergency keys a while back. Rory had never been so grateful that her boyfriend had learnt to trust someone, anyone in this place.

It was six in the morning. Jess wouldn’t be home for another hour and Rory had been pacing to the point where she was surprised there wasn’t a groove in the floorboards already. Mrs Rossini didn’t want her to come home by herself, but Rory had insisted. She needed to talk to Jess alone, and it was okay, because she was feeling better. That’s what she told the kindly neighbour that had really helped her out. The truth was, she didn’t feel great. Not so much with the needing to throw up or pass out, but certainly not well at all. Some of it was probably still the supposed morning sickness, the rest she assumed was blind panic.

Rory checked her watch again. Barely five minutes had passed, that meant it was still almost an hour before Jess got back from Wal-Mart. There was no way she could keep on pacing and worrying that long. Rory would go nuts if she was forced to. She reached for her jacket and pulled it on, slipping her feet into her shoes too. She stopped then, considering her actions. Jess hated the idea of her being out alone, especially in the dark. The sun was up, it was well past dawn, he couldn’t be too mad at her for heading out by herself. After all, she was headed towards him, that had to make it okay. Rory was still rationalising as she hurried down the stairs as fast as she dare go.

Jess had taken her to Wal-Mart a few times, to enjoy the privileges of the staff discount and pick out a few things she needed. The luggage she brought with her, some clothes and essentials, they only lasted so long. She was missing stuff she needed. It was only just now occurring to Rory that the feminine hygiene products she had surreptitiously bought remained unopened and untouched amongst her things at the apartment. Now she needed the drugstore area of Wal-Mart again, this time for a test to see if she really was pregnant.

Rory was in sight of the store when she realised what a bad idea this was. If she went inside, she wouldn’t find Jess. He worked out back, driving the forklift like he had back home in Stars Hollow. She could wander around the store, maybe buy that pregnancy test she was thinking about, but that was all. I’m such an idiot, Rory thought to herself, now not knowing whether she was literally coming or going, or what she was meant to do next.

After five minutes of inner turmoil and arguing with herself, Rory trudged into the store with her arms folded across her chest. She looked left and right, figuring out her way and then headed in the general direction of the pharmaceuticals. She would look for what she needed, get the thing bought and hide it in her pocket. Then she could just hang out until she knew Jess would be done with work and position herself near the staff exit to meet him. He would wonder why she was here, and Rory wasn’t sure yet exactly what she would tell him. Some variation on the truth, but not the whole of it until they got home. Maybe not even then. Maybe it was better to take the test first. No point freaking him out when there might be nothing to freak out over.

These thoughts circled around and around in her head the whole time she was in Wal-Mart and even more so when she was waiting by the door for Jess to emerge. When he finally stepped out into the store proper and saw her there, a mixture of emotions crossed his face. He seemed happy to see her and yet concerned that she had come too. Rory tried to smile back at him when he greeted her, but almost immediately the panic rose in her throat and tears came to her eyes.

“I might be pregnant,” she blurted out right there in the middle of Wal-Mart. “Jess, I... What are we going to do?”


	7. Chapter 6

Jess went into a state of shock around the moment Rory said the word ‘pregnant’. He wasn’t entirely sure what it felt like when a person had a stroke, but he’d guess pretty much like this. He couldn’t speak, he couldn’t move, truth be told he could barely think. _Pregnant._ This was not supposed to happen. Sure, he wanted Rory back in his life, more than anything. He thought they’d do the young and in love thing for a while before anything got too heavy. Jess never considered he was the settling down type, the kind of guy that wanted to get married, have kids, that whole thing. Of course, falling in love with Rory had certainly changed his outlook on life. Right now, he was pretty sure he’d go through anything just to be with her, to have whatever semblance of a happily ever after a person like him could strive for. Still, he had not been ready for this. _Pregnant_.

“C’mon,” he said eventually, snapping out of a daze he never meant to fall into.

With his hand in the small of her back, Jess guided Rory through the store and out into the not-so-fresh air of New York City. They had to get home, right now that was priority one. They were not going to have this very serious conversation in the street, and certainly not in frickin’ Wal-Mart of all places!

The city that never slept was bustling full with people. Jess let his hand move around to find Rory’s own, determined as he was not going to lose her in the crowds. She wasn’t talking, that in itself was scary as hell to Jess. Rory never stopped talking, never. Her yammering was adorable, he wouldn’t deny, and he almost never tired of it, but the point was it was ever-present. The fact she was quiet just proved how very freaked out she was right now, and Jess could relate.

Rory was concentrating on not lagging behind as they moved through the streets. The apartment wasn’t far, and she supposed it was best if they got back there before they talked about things. The pregnancy test tucked into her inside pocket felt like a lead weight, to match the one sat in the stomach right about now. Rory felt mean for thinking that, as if she were saying something bad about the baby that was potentially inside of her. This creation, if it existed, was a part of her, and an innocent, whether it was Jess’ baby, or the alternative.

Swallowing hard, Rory looked up at the back of Jess’ head and told herself it was okay. If she was pregnant, there was way more chance of it being her boyfriend’s child than her literal one-time lover’s baby. She and Dean were a one-night stand. She had lost count of how many times she and Jess had been together since she got here. The law of averages alone said it should be okay.

The building came into sight and Rory wasn’t sure if that made her feel better or worse. It meant they were going to talk, that Jess was going to help her to stop freaking out, just like always. On the other hand, he was probably kind of freaked himself. Maybe he would be mad that she let this happen. Rory considered that fact and then got a little mad about it herself. _How dare he blame me? It takes two to tango, and to make a baby!_ she thought to herself.

“Rory?” Jess prompted when she just stood on the doorstep apparently glaring at him - he had no idea what was causing that reaction.

Looking up and meeting his eyes, she seemed to snap out of whatever daze she had fallen into. She found a smile and Jess managed to return it, more out of instinct than anything else. Now didn’t feel much like a time to smile. Maybe it should, after all, having a kid was a happy occasion for a lot of couples. Of course, most of those couples probably hadn’t only just got back together less than a month ago. They probably weren’t living hand to mouth. They probably had plans that went further than the end of the Summer.

Three flights of stairs passed quickly and slowly at the same time. Neither Rory nor Jess were willing to explain how they came to that conclusion, and yet they both had. Both reached for their key as they got to the door. Jess frowned.

“Oh, Mrs Rossini gave it to me,” said Rory in explanation. “Um, the door closed when I ran to the bathroom and... she helped me out,” she muttered.

Jess didn’t want any further explanation right now, not out here in the hall most especially. A couple of the nefarious looking neighbours from upstairs crashed through the hallway, drunk as skunks with punctures in their forearms that Jess pretended not to see. He ushered Rory inside as fast he could, slamming the door behind the both of them. Now they had to talk, maybe the most serious conversation they’d ever had, and that included the one where he first told Rory he loved her (which he still did) and another where he told her she could depend on him now (that was still true, also).

“So...” he said, shifting awkwardly, hands going into the pockets of his faux-leather jacket.

“So...” she repeated.

It was oddly reminiscent of days gone by when they first got together, when a whole conversation could consist of a dozen ‘hi’s’. That seemed like a lifetime ago in this moment. Rory swallowed hard.

“Jess, I...I don’t know how this happened,” she said, wrapping her arms around herself as tears came to her eyes. “I mean obviously I know, but we, we were careful, every time, weren’t we?” she checked, as if she just wasn’t sure about anything anymore.

“We were,” he nodded his confirmation. “But, er... y’know, you said you might be,” he recalled very clearly from the moment he spotted her outside the door in Wal-Mart. “You don’t know for sure?”

“No,” she shook her head in agreement. “Not for sure. I was sick, and Mrs R thought she knew why, and then I started to do the math, y’know, _the math_ ,” she said pointedly, hoping that she didn’t have to give anymore explanation than that. “It’s been at least six weeks, maybe seven,” she admitted.

Jess nodded that he understood. That wasn’t normal, he knew that. It didn’t automatically make Rory pregnant, but he could see why she would think so, and why Mrs Rossini might assume too. Now that he thought about it, Rory had mentioned feeling off-colour a couple of mornings. She got over it pretty fast and said she was fine, so he hadn’t worried about it much. Now Jess was wondering what other symptoms they might have been ignoring when they were actually important.

“I wish I knew what to say right now,” he thought aloud, running a hand back through his hair. “Rory, I never thought...”

“I know, me either,” she cut in. “Like we said, always careful.”

“Condoms aren’t a hundred percent, I know that, everybody knows that.” 

“I didn’t know that!”

“How did you not know that?”

“Hello! Virgin until a few weeks ago!”

They both stopped at that confession. Not the right words for it perhaps, considering Jess already knew that particular truth. He also knew he hadn’t been Rory’s first time. If he hadn’t wanted to throw up before, he sure did now. If she was pregnant, it might be his kid, but at the same time, it might not.

“Forester,” he ground out. “Oh, this gets better!”

The laugh that escaped his throat was pained and hollow. Rory couldn’t hold the tears in any longer. She rushed towards him and stopped with their toes practically touching.

“Jess, please,” she urged him, putting her hands to the back of his head and neck, making him meet his eyes. “I know it’s overwhelming, believe me, I know, but I need you not to freak out, because I’m already really, really freaking out, and I know it’s unfair to expect you to be the strong one, but I can’t.... I just can’t...”

The sobbing started and words failed her. Rory had been holding it all in until this moment, determined she had to be stronger than she felt. Jess felt awful as she cried into his chest. He held her tight in is arms, rubbing her back, promising her it was all going to be okay. It was a dumb thing to do, because he couldn’t really say for sure that everything would work out. Life would be beyond complicated if she was pregnant, if it was his child inside of her. If Dean had anything to do with this, well, Jess would love to say he was a good enough man to stand by Rory no matter what, but honestly? Right now, he wasn’t so sure. It was a hell of a big ask to raise another man’s child as your own... if there was a child at all.

“Rory, we gotta start from the beginning here,” he said when her crying got down to a dull roar. “We need to get a test, check what the situation is, before either of us really freaks out about it.”

It was awfully grown up and sensible of him to talk that way. Rory found a small smile coming to her lips even through the veil of tears in her eyes. Jess hated when he had to be all mature and upstanding, but he would do it, for her. He’d proved it a lot of times actually. For all his running out when things got rough, he had faced her grandmother with a black eye, he hadn’t backed out of their relationship when Lorelai clearly hated him or the town disapproved. In the end, he had come back for Rory, told her he loved her, asked her to be with him. Now here they were, and they were so happy, or at least they had been these past three weeks. Rory didn’t want it to all go to hell just because she might be pregnant. She also might not be.

“I bought a test at Wal-Mart,” she admitted, sniffling as she brought her head up off his shoulder and met his eyes.

Jess nodded, letting go of her as she reached into her coat pocket and produced the box. Rory turned it over in her hands twice, just staring. She understood how these things worked, just like everybody did, whether you’d taken one before or not. It was pretty much pee on a stick and then wait for a line to appear, or a plus, or whatever the box specified. She started reading it carefully.

“So, apparently two blue lines means I am, and one means I’m not.”

“Huh,” Jess replied, leaning over to look at the words she was reading. “That simple.”

“That simple,” she agreed, making no real moves to actually go to the bathroom and take the test.

Jess wanted to give her a nudge already, but he couldn’t do it. In a strange way, it was easier not knowing the truth. Ignorance was bliss, that’s what they said, and yet he knew neither of them were going to get any rest until they knew for sure whether baby was about to make three.

“Rory...” he prompted when she hadn’t moved for fully five minutes.

“I know,” she replied, taking a deep breath and walking by him to the door.

Jess watched her go, running a hand over his face as the door clicked shut behind her. This was crazy, insane, about as ridiculous as any situation he’d ever been in, and there had been some doozies over the years. Rory might be pregnant, carrying his child, or Dean’s child. It made his head swim and his heart jump up into the back of his throat. All those things he said about Rory being able to rely on him now, and he meant every word. He never expected this to happen. Maybe that was naive after all the time they’d spent in bed lately, but he just hadn’t considered it, not now, not yet, not like this.

“So?” he asked the moment Rory let herself back into the apartment.

“We have to wait,” she told him, swallowing hard.

They both sat down on the end of the bed, still as marble statues and feeling just about as cold. Rory held the white stick in her hand, staring intently at the small rectangle that would eventually bear a blue line or two. Jess fixed his eyes on the same spot a moment, then looked sideways at his girlfriend. He never saw her look so pale or so afraid in the whole time he knew her. Hs arm wrapped instinctively around her back, pulling her in close. Rory’s head dropped onto Jess’s shoulder but she couldn’t relax. Her eyes remained on the result of the test, or at least where that result would soon appear, and she could feel that Jess was watching too.

The five minutes seemed like hours, maybe even days, and never were two people more concentrated on one spot for so very long. Little by little, the result started to appear. One blue line... and that was all.

“One line,” said Rory in a small voice.

“One is for negative. Not pregnant, right?” asked Jess, equally as quiet as she was in his tone.

Rory didn’t answer verbally, just nodded against his shoulder, then he felt her body convulse with a sob and she was crying again. Jess just held her tight, kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back to bring any kind of comfort he could.

It was weird, but he had a feeling this wasn’t all relief for the negative result. He knew because he felt weird about it too, like tears were coming to his own eyes, like something had been snatched away. Jess wasn’t ready to be a father, he wasn’t sure if he ever truly would be. At the same time, there had been a little while there where he might’ve been, were he and Rory might’ve made something special with their love, something that was only theirs. It was strange to think that was gone, that it was all a mistake that never even existed.

Jess laid back down on the bed, pulling Rory with him. They lay there, curled up together, just letting the realisation of what had happened this morning wash over them. There was no baby, and it was a good thing in so many ways, and a sad thing in a few less obvious ones.

“I can still go to Yale,” she mumbled, her face in his shirt. “We can be free to do whatever we want, it’s... it’s a good thing, right?”

“Yeah, it’s good,” he muttered his reply, hugging her closer still.

They shouldn’t be in anyway disappointed by the fact they weren’t about to be parents, and yet it seemed as if they were both feeling the same way about it. Such an odd mix of relief and pain could never properly be explained, and Jess had twice as many reasons to feel hurt. Rory still planned to go to Yale, which meant going back to Stars Hollow, he had no doubt. Jess made it clear before that they couldn’t build a life together there, he just wasn’t supposed to be in that place. Rory planned to leave, it had to mean that, and Jess hated knowing it. Right now, he couldn’t bear to bring it up. He just held onto her a while longer, whilst he had the chance to keep her close. He should know by now that even when his dreams did come true, it was never destined to last long.


	8. Chapter 8

Life felt different here. At first that was a good thing. Rory actually liked being away from Stars Hollow, especially since she was with Jess. It was almost as if she wasn’t supposed to be anywhere else, like this was where she belonged. Of course, there were times when she missed home terribly, mostly on occasions when something happened that she really wanted to tell her mom about. It was true enough that she could call her, but Rory just couldn’t face it. She felt like such a fool for what happened with Dean, so guilty for running out the way she had, and now so conflicted about her relationship with Jess.

Lorelai wouldn’t understand, Rory was sure on that, and so she kept her distance, acting like it was all normal and okay, but it wasn’t. These last two weeks had been different, ever since the morning when she suspected she might be pregnant. The test said no, and that made Rory feel so relieved and at the same time weirdly disappointed. She got the impression Jess felt the same in a way, but they didn’t really talk about it.

They didn’t talk about anything much that mattered anymore, just books and movies, music and work. She had a job now that gave her tales to tell, but things just weren’t quite as comfortable as before. The coffee shop was situated about halfway between the apartment and Wal-Mart so Jess would often walk Rory to or from her place of work, sometimes both, depending on his own shift pattern. It was fun being amongst new people and making coffee all day, especially since the boss didn’t seem to mind how much caffeine his staff consumed during their work time. Something about it being good advertising if the help were enjoying the beverages too. Rory was in her element. She started out clearing tables and making the simple drinks. She was still slow, after just two weeks she was going to be, but the names of the coffees came easy and she picked up the machines pretty easy too. She loved it most days.

“You sure you’re okay?” asked Jess when she came home early from her shift a couple of days ago.

“Yes, I am fine. I said I’m fine!” she snapped at him, immediately regretting it.

She just felt snappy lately. A part of Rory blamed herself for being in a situation where she couldn’t seem to find enough happiness. The other part blamed Jess for being extra quiet and distant lately.

“Rory, c’mon,” he urged her, right behind her when she turned around. “Your job doesn’t send you home if you’re fine.”

“I felt kind of sick and woozy is all,” she huffed, folding her arms over her chest. “I swear, I’m fine, I just... I’m tired, that’s all it is,” she assured him.

Jess wanted to believe her, he did actually. Rory wasn’t sleeping right. He knew because he wasn’t either. The nights when he wasn’t working, he laid awake anyway, the same few thoughts going around and around in his mind. He didn’t like Rory working, but he knew she had to if they were going to keep the apartment and the amenities, plus eat and do laundry. Her job was the least of his worries though.

Jess couldn’t help wondering where all this was going, him and Rory. They were in love, that was for sure, he knew he loved her and he believed she felt the same. Rory didn’t lie, not to him, not when it mattered. What they had was real enough, but that didn’t mean that they could last in the long run.

They avoided talking about what happened when the Summer was over. She had Yale to go back to, and he understood that. Rory was the academic with big dreams for the future that Jess never had for himself. He wanted her to have everything, but at the same time, he wanted her to be with him. There didn’t seem to be a way where they would both be happy that didn’t lead to one resenting the other in some way.

It was one of these nights when Jess couldn’t sleep that he got up and called Luke. It was barely four thirty in the morning, but he knew his uncle would be up, he always was at that time. They hadn’t talked since before Rory arrived, mostly because Jess didn’t want to have to lie to his uncle about where she was. No doubt Luke would bring her up in conversation, he always did, and her going missing would be a hell of a big deal. The chances were pretty good that Luke would never assume Rory was with Jess, but if he did ask, he didn’t want to have to lie and say he hadn’t seen her when she was lying there asleep in his bed.

“Sorry about not calling sooner,” he apologised to his uncle. “I, er... I had a landline when I moved in, but there were problems. I finally broke down and bought a cell, so this should be a pretty permanent number, at least for a while,” he explained, reeling off the digits as Luke wrote them down.

“Well, it’s good to hear your voice, Jess. I mean it,” he told him, making his nephew smile in spite of himself. “Things have been pretty crazy here lately and... Well, I’m just glad you called.”

It made Jess frown a little that Luke seemed to be talking around the Rory issue. She had told him that Lorelai and Luke were finally dating, which meant his uncle was smack dab in the middle of the drama. It made no sense for Rory’s name to never come up. That wasn’t normal for any of their conversations on a normal day, nevermind now.

Luke asked about Jess’ work, if he needed any extra cash, that kind of thing. Jess asked about the diner, if business was good. It was almost a pointless conversation, fairly impersonal and dull, but it mattered to the two guys actually talking. They were checking in which each other, letting one another know they were still there, and it all still mattered. There wasn’t much love lost between Jess and Liz, and though he had made his peace with Jimmy, he would never really look at him and see a father. Luke was his family, the only guy that ever cared enough to even try and look out for him. That mattered.

“Look, Luke, I gotta go,” said Jess when he saw Rory stirring in the bed. “You, er, take care or whatever, y’know?” he said awkwardly, the way it always was when one of these calls ended.

“Will do. You too, Jess,” his uncle replied, and then they both hung up.

Rory sat up and ran a hand over her face.

“That was Luke?” she checked, a small degree of panic in her voice.

“Relax, he didn’t ask about you, and I didn’t mention you either,” he said, snapping the cell shut with a too loud click somehow.

He barely looked at her and Rory hated that. Things just weren’t good anymore, not like they had been. The pregnancy scare kind of put a dampener on the sex for a while. They still did it, but not as much and it didn’t feel quite the same. Jess was so moody, and not just the way he had been in Stars Hollow years ago. That was a general front that he showed the world, he had always been different with Rory. Now she was getting the cold shoulder, and it hurt.

“Jess, would you just tell me what’s going on?” she asked him, turning to follow his movement as he went into the kitchen area.

“I’m making coffee, you want?” he asked, letting her question slide by as if never asked. “I’m sorry, did I just ask a Gilmore girl if she wanted coffee? I must be having a seizure or something,” he muttered, putting two mugs into the counter.

“Jess, do not do this to me!” said Rory crossly, hopping out of bed and striding over to him, all barefoot and indigent. “Do not keep ignoring the issue, and there is an issue here, I know there is.”

“Yeah, well, not for much longer, right?” he said, still not looking her way at all, even as she hovered mere inches from him in her skimpy nightwear. “How many weeks is it now until school starts again? Until we segue from Love is A Many Splendored thing into a rousing chorus of Summer Lovin’?”

Rory frowned hard but didn’t say a word. She got the reference, and she knew now what Jess’ problem was. Unfortunately, it was something that had been worrying her too, if she were honest. It was an issue they were going to have a tough time overcoming to everyone’s satisfaction.

“I don’t know,” she muttered, looking at her own cold toes on the cracked flooring. “I’ve been trying not to think about the end while we’re still in the middle... Jess?” she urged him to look at her, her hand going to his arm and pulling.

“So, I’m not worrying for nothing here?” he checked, finally meeting her eyes. “It’s gonna end, when Yale’s back in session?”

The pain in his eyes matched what Rory felt inside. It made her want to cry but she tried her best to keep it in. Lately, a lot of things made her emotional. She blamed the pregnancy scare and the being away from home; she put it down to Jess’ moods and her messed up sleep patterns. Right now, she knew it was just because her heart was breaking by degrees.

“I don’t want this to end,” she promised him, grabbing onto his arm with both hands, bouncing a little in her desperate attempt to prove her enthusiasm. “Jess, you... you’re all I ever wanted in a guy. Deep down, I always knew it. Now we’re finally together and it’s perfect, and I don’t want to think about reality or where my life is going. I just want to be with you and wish the world away for as long as we can.”

Her arms were up around his neck now as she pulled him closer, trying to make him see that her way of dealing with this rotten situation was best. Jess couldn’t be convinced. Though his hands went to her waist and he looked down at her with affection enough, he couldn’t let go of his fears about the ending that came later.

“Y’know, I was doing okay,” he told her. “I kept thinking like you, thinking don’t worry about the future right now, enjoy what you have while you have it,” he explained. “But, Rory, the world isn’t going to stop turning. You still want Yale and a career, and you should want that,” he assured her that he understood, “but you’re gonna need to go home to do that, and that place, Stars Hollow, it’s not for me.”

Rory swallowed hard, the emotion rising thick in her throat. She hated this, as much now as she had in her dorm room at Yale when Jess asked her to run away with him and she had been so very tempted. In the end, she couldn’t do it, because he was right, she wanted Yale and her journalism career. She wanted Stars Hollow and Hartford, her Mom, her grandparents, Luke, Lane, all the people and places that were her home. As much as she loved Jess, and she truly did, to give up her whole life, her family, her plans just for him, it felt like too big a sacrifice somehow.

“You can’t give up your life for me, Rory. I never should’ve asked you to,” said Jess, as kind and sweet as he had ever been, and it broke her heart to hear. “I know you have to go back, but I can’t help it that it kills me to even think about you being gone.”

She couldn’t speak, she physically couldn’t. All she could think to do was kiss the man she loved until the world went away. She pushed further into Jess’ arms and pressed her lips to his, tasting her own tears as they streaked down her face. It shouldn’t have to be a choice, their lives as they liked them, or the love they shared, but Rory understood. Asking Jess to go back to Stars Hollow would lead to him hating her for it. If she stayed, she would come to hate him for keeping her from her own world. There were no good choices here, not one.

The couple parted when the kettle whistled to say the water was boiled. It was agony to part and yet a relief at the same time. It was going to be sweet torture from now to the day Rory left. It made her want to go now, just to make it easier, but facing home still scared her, and leaving Jess was just too hard to even think of right in this moment.

“Go back to bed,” he said quietly, releasing her from his arms. “I’ll bring the coffee over.”

Rory nodded that she had heard and wandered away. Jess busied himself with the drinks for all of a few seconds before he heard the dull thud of something hitting the ground. It was too loud for a book, which was the usual thing that wound up hitting the floor when they got dropped off the bed or similar. Immediately, Jess knew what had happened and he panicked.

“Rory!” he rushed over to her lifeless form on the floor by the bed. “Rory, c’mon. Don’t do this to me!” he urged her, gently tapping her face, checking her all over for any sign she had hurt herself.

She looked fine, just completely asleep. Right when Jess was considering calling an ambulance or something, Rory stirred.

“Ugh, what happened?” she asked sleepily as she tried to sit up.

Jess assisted, setting her back against the bed so she was at least a little comfortable.

“Pretty sure you passed out,” he told her gently, pushing her hair back off her face. “You feel okay now?”

“I don’t know,” Rory frowned a little. “A little woozy still. I can’t believe this happened again.”

“Again?”

“Well, I passed out on Mrs R that day when.... And since then, I just get tired and... and kinda wobbly sometimes.”

The explanation of it all was only making Jess worry more. They had both assumed her symptoms might be pregnancy so Rory took a test. When it was negative, they never even thought about what else might’ve caused her to be sick or dizzy. Maybe they should’ve.

“Okay, we need to get you up, get some clothes on you,” he said, reaching out to put his arms around Rory and lift her up onto the bed.

“Why? I just wanna sleep, Jess, I’ll be fine,” she insisted, trying to pull the comforter up over her, but he wouldn’t let her have it.

“Rory, you have to see a doctor,” he insisted. “This has been going on too long, we can’t just ignore it. I can’t.”

She opened her eyes more fully and met his own panicked gaze. He was right, she knew it. It was likely she was just over-tired, stressed, whatever, but Jess was right, it probably would be better to have a professional opinion. She really hadn’t felt right for a long time now. Better to be checked out and given the all clear than carry on and get more and more sick.

“Okay,” she agreed eventually. “We’ll go see a doctor... at five in the morning?” she checked a moment later as she spotted the time.

Jess actually smiled, in spite of the panic, when he saw her wide-eyed expression. Never mess with a Gilmore girl in the small hours, he knew that, but this was too important to ignore. He was getting Rory to a hospital to be checked out and that’s all there was to it. So long as he didn’t have to think too much about what might be wrong with her and how it would effect those big decisions they were making about the future before, he’d be just fine.


	9. Chapter 8

Jess was pretty sure he hadn’t felt this nervous in a long time. No doctors office was going to be open at five in the morning and he wouldn’t know where to find one if it were. The ER was the easiest option, and he rushed Rory straight there in a cab. It cost a fortune, and the medical bills might too if anything was wrong. The longer he sat here in the waiting area, the more Jess worried, first for Rory’s health and second for the cash they were spending that they simply didn’t have to spare. His elbows rested on his knees, one leg jiggling with pent up energy as time ticked on and on. He tried to tell himself it was probably something and nothing making Rory feel so woozy and all. He doubted it was anything she ate, not when he knew the Gilmores and their iron guts so well, but it could be stress and lack of sleep. That would be okay, they could deal with that, somehow. It was if it turned out to be anything worse then Jess didn’t know how he would deal. He wanted to throw up, in that way where you knew you wouldn’t actually do it, but you felt like it anyway. Somehow it was worse than actually puking.

The clock on the wall shifted on another minute. They’d been here an hour and a half, but Rory only got in to actually see a doctor a half hour before. God knows how busy this place got on weekends with the extra drunks and party goers. At least midweek there was much less of that, but it was still busy enough.

“How much longer is this gonna take?” he asked, suddenly dodging up to the reception desk the moment the woman there got off the phone.

“I’m sorry?” she looked confused, clearly not even realising who he was.

“My girlfriend went in to see the doctor thirty minutes ago. Her name is Rory Gilmore. I need to know she’s okay,” he insisted, hating how much he was panicking and making an idiot out of himself.

The receptionist didn’t seem to mind. She was probably used to it after all. Jess couldn’t care less either way, he just needed to know Rory was going to be okay already. So many scenarios were running through his head, nasty ones with terrible illnesses, and a phone conversation where he had to tell Lorelai her daughter was in the hospital with something bad. All of a sudden, a nurse appeared, apparently looking for someone she couldn’t find. Somehow, Jess just knew it was him and moved towards her.

“Jess Mariano?” she checked, at which he nodded. “Come this way please?”

He followed her down the corridor, meaning to ask what was happening, but somehow unable to find the words all of a sudden. If he asked, she might tell him, and a large part of Jess didn’t want to know the answer. He was having a serious case of the ‘what ifs?’ right now, and it was giving him the shakes.

“Rory,” he rushed in the moment a door was opened and he could see her.

“Oh my God, Jess!” she gasped, grabbing onto him and hugging him tight, crying into his shoulder as if her heart would break.

Jess didn’t even notice the doctor stood by the exam table with a clipboard in his hands. All his focus was on Rory, his beautiful girl that he loved so much. All these tears had to mean something bad, and he couldn’t stand it.

“Mr Mariano,” said the doctor after a few moments, clearing his throat to get the young man’s attention. “Miss Gilmore asked that I call you in here to let you know what was going on, and I agreed given her distress. After all, this does concern you too,” he explained, as Jess turned to look at him, never letting go of a sobbing Rory.

“What do you mean?” he checked, pretty much literally holding his breath until the doctor revealed the truth.

“We carried out some tests, and they confirm conclusively that Rory is pregnant,” he said with an uncertain smile.

Usually when he told women they were pregnant, they were happy. He hadn’t seen a young woman so desolate in a long time, especially not one who seemed to have such a dedicated partner. Dr Harper felt he had an instinct with couples, a sixth sense perhaps. He was usually right about whether or not their love was real or if they would make it in the long run. He could already tell these two were just meant to be.

“She can’t be,” Jess shook his head then. “She can’t be pregnant. Rory, tell him! You took a test...”

“Ah, yes, we had this conversation,” Dr Harper cut in when Rory seemed incapable through her tears. “As I explained to Rory, false negatives can occur, particularly with the cheaper store-bought tests,” he said to Jess. “Sometimes if a test is taken too early it can’t find enough hCG in the urine to identify pregnancy. With others, the test strips just aren’t sensitive enough, they’re looking for a larger amount of the hormone than the body is ready to produce.”

Jess stopped listening after ‘false negatives’. The whys and wherefore didn’t matter. What mattered was that they knew now why Rory had been feeling so unlike herself, so wobbly, tired and sick. Pregnant. After the scare that seemed to be just that, now the truth was out, confirmed by a doctor no less. Rory was having a baby, and she seemed heart-broken at the idea. Jess kissed the top of her head and held her closer.

“Rory, it’s okay,” he promised. “We’ll figure this out, we will.”

The doctor muttered something about giving them a few moments alone, but before he got out of the door, Jess had a question he couldn’t wait to ask.

“Hey, doc. How, er... how far along is she?” he asked awkwardly, using words he never thought he would ever need.

“Six weeks,” Dr Harper confirmed, glad to see a smile curve Jess’ lips.

He didn’t know why, but a little happiness in this situation was good to see, and the thanks from the young man was good to hear too. Dr Harper left the couple alone and Jess moved his hand to the side of Rory’s face bringing her head away from his chest so he could look at her.

“Rory, c’mon,” he urged her. “I know this is a shock, but it’s okay. Do you know how freaked out I was when I thought you were sick or something? It was scaring the hell out of me to think...”

He couldn’t even tell her some of the awful things he had been thinking. Losing Rory just wasn’t an option, not in that way. It broke his heart enough to think of her going home to Stars Hollow and leaving him. If she wasn’t even here in the world for him to dream about, he didn’t know how he would deal.

“Pregnant, Jess,” she told him with a sniff, as if he didn’t know. “Having a baby. Do you have any idea what that means?”

“Yes,” he told her definitely. “Six weeks, Ror,” he echoed what the doctor had said. “Six.”

Rory’s brow furrowed as she did the math. Six weeks, that was how long she had been here now. It could easily have been the first night they slept together that made this baby. One thing was for sure, Dean Forester had nothing to do with it.

“Oh,” she gasped then. “Your baby.”

“Our baby,” he told her, leaning in to kiss her lips. “I know it’s crazy and huge, I know we were relieved before, but... but don’t you think we can do this?” he asked her.

Maybe it was the relief of knowing nothing awful had befallen the woman he loved. Maybe it was knowing for sure this time that the kid she was carrying was his own, versus last time when it might have been another man’s child. Ultimately, Jess knew he could love this baby and make this work because he loved Rory. Deep down, that had always been the only thing that really mattered.

“I am so scared, Jess,” she admitted, clinging too him still. “I... I just don’t know how we’re supposed to do this. Have a baby? Be parents? I’m not ready!”

“You think I am? You think anybody ever is?” he asked her seriously.

She shook her head and the tears came falling again. It was such a shock and she was so emotional, and Jess could understand that. He just pulled her close in his arms again and held her tight for as long as she needed. As relieved as he was, as okay as he was trying to be about all this, the truth was, he was kind of scared too.

* * *

Lorelai looked okay. She had checked her hair and make-up in the mirror, picked out an outfit that flattered her, and to the outside world she was pretty sure she looked okay, fine, just dandy. They didn’t understand how much she was really not okay at all. Luke got it, because every time she tried to put on a brave face, especially for him, he called her on it and made her tell the truth. Sometimes he just held her while she cried. Other times, she actually felt positive, like Rory would be home any time now and everything would get back to normal. Today was one of the more regular numb days, when Lorelai looked fine from the outside, and inside she just wasn’t feeling anything at all. She went to work, she ran errands, but all the time her mind was elsewhere. She wondered where Rory was, if she was okay, what she might be doing. She blamed herself for the way her daughter left town, then she blamed Rory, and sometimes she blamed other people, like Emily, or Dean.

It was really an unfortunate coincidence than on this one particular morning when she was in full ‘blame Dean Forester’ mode that Lorelai ran across him in the street. The overly tall, previously pleasant, daughter violator was walking along like he hadn’t a care in the world. Not only was he holding hands with his wife, Lindsay, but they were swinging their arms like kids in love, smiling widely at each other. Lorelai wanted to vomit the moment she saw them. How dare he? How dare this guy wander around Stars Hollow like life was so great when he was the reason Rory had run away?!

By the time they passed each other on the street, she couldn’t help herself.

“Asshole,” Lorelai muttered, as close to Dean’s ear as she could.

She honestly didn’t want Lindsay to hear. As much as the poor girl deserved to know what her husband was really like, it didn’t need to happen like that. She just wanted Dean to know that she knew what he did and she was not in any way okay with it. He should’ve realised that when Lorelai first caught him in Rory’s room, that day when her little girl became a woman. She swallowed hard at the memory, then almost jumped out of her skin when a heavy hand landed on her shoulder. Spinning around, Lorelai never expected it to be Forester sneaking up on her.

“Lindsay is in Doose’s,” he explained in a low voice. “I said I’d catch up. We need to talk, Lorelai.”

“Do we, Dean?” she asked, too loudly. “Do we really need to talk? Now what on Earth would you, ex-boyfriend of my missing daughter, need to talk to me about?”

She was talking loud on purpose, hoping to embarrass him maybe, Dean was sure. He wouldn’t rise to that, he couldn’t. As much as he had to keep his and Rory’s secret from Lindsay, the Gilmores still mattered to Dean, both of them. They were good people and he had always felt like he belonged in their home, in their lives. It hurt so much to lose Rory and not be a part of that life anymore. Maybe cheating on his wife with his ex was wrong, but it had felt so very right at the time. Now Rory was gone, nobody seemed to know where, not even Lorelai, but whatever she did know, Dean needed to know too.

“I’m sorry,” he said at length. “I know you probably blame me in part for Rory running away...”

“Huh!” Lorelai scoffed at his gall. “In part? Blame you in part?” she echoed, just this side of hysterical until she realised people were staring - she lowered her voice. “Who else should I blame, Dean? You made my daughter your piece on the side! How could you do that to her?”

“I never meant to!” he said desperately. “Look, this isn’t all my fault. I never wanted to break up with Rory. You have Mariano to blame for that.”

“Oh, that’s ancient history, Dean. Grow up!” Lorelai told him, practically spitting in his eye with the way she said it. “If you loved Rory like you always said, how do you explain moving on so fast and marrying Lindsay?”

Dean didn’t have an answer for that. His jaw worked with unspoken excuses and reasons, but none were said aloud. He knew he’d been a fool, both with Rory and with Lindsay. He had handled it all wrong, and that was his fault, but he couldn’t be the whole reason that Rory ran away. She was stronger than that, he knew it. Lorelai knew it too, and the longer she stood there watching Dean flounder, the more she remembered.

“Look, I’m sorry,” she said eventually and with a heavy sigh for good measure. “It’s not all on you. I didn’t handle things well either... I’m not handling anything well lately,” she admitted sadly, pushing her hair back off her face.

Dean nodded in understanding. His life wasn’t exactly on the up and up either, and nothing like he expected it to turn out. Sure, he and Lindsay probably seemed happy enough and she didn’t exactly make him miserable, but trying to make it work was tougher than he ever thought it would be. 

“I should go,” he said then, checking back over his shoulder to make sure Lindsay hadn’t come looking for him yet. “But if I can help at all...”

“Unless you have the GPS co-ordinates for my daughter, you can’t,” Lorelai admitted, shaking her head sadly as she turned and walked away.

Dean watched her go and then moved away himself, back towards Doose’s market where his wife waited for him. There was no-one waiting at home for Lorelai. She had Luke, she had Sookie and everyone at the inn, but at home there was just her and an empty space where Rory should be.

She looked up to some empty spot in the blue sky above Stars Hollow and sighed;

“Where are you, baby? Mommy misses you.”


	10. Chapter 9

Jess was so ridiculously attentive when it came to getting Rory back to the apartment. She was six weeks pregnant, that was practically nothing, and yet he pretty much offered to carry her home when they left the hospital. Rory was overwhelmed by how protective he was being. It wasn’t as if she expected him not to care. It was clear to her that he loved her, as she loved him too, but this was kind of above and beyond.

The other surprise was his confidence in the way they were going to make this work. Jess seemed thrilled to know she was pregnant with his child, and that part at least Rory could understand. It would be a real nightmare to know she was carrying a baby that might be half Dean Forester. They knew for sure that this child was strictly Gilmore/Mariano, which was great, but at the same time, Rory couldn’t imagine how they were ever going to cope.

“People get through stuff like this,” he had told her on the bus on the way home. “They figure things out and they end up really happy.”

Rory wanted to believe that. She wanted to be happy, she truly did, and a part of her kind of was. It was pretty incredible to think that the love between her and Jess had created a life, that they would always be tied together by another person who would exist in the world in less than nine months now. At the same time, Rory couldn’t help the panic that raged inside her yet. There was so much to think about, like money, and living arrangements, and... and her Mom.

Lorelai had coped with being a parent even younger than Rory was now, and alone too. At least Rory and Jess had each other in this, and they were a little older. Twenty still didn’t feel very grown up to Rory sometimes, but she didn’t doubt they could make it work, it was just going to be tough for a while. As truly childish as it sounded, and she knew it, all Rory really wanted right now was her Mom. There was nobody better to understand what she was feeling, the weird mixture of panic and joy. At the same time, Rory knew she could never call Lorelai and give her this news, not now, not like this. She would never approve of what had happened, not even the getting back together with Jess, nevermind ending up with an unplanned pregnancy to deal with.

“You’re thinking too hard again, I can tell,” Jess whispered in her ear as they walked up the stairs to their apartment, his arm round her shoulder and her arm around his waist as she leant into him.

“I can’t help it,” she sighed heavily. “Jess, this is a big deal. Maybe the biggest deal there will ever be in our lives. It requires a lot of thought.”

“Agreed,” he nodded once, “but some of that thinking needs to be shared. We have to talk about this stuff Rory. I know, I spent too much time keeping things to myself before. That’s part of what split us up the first time around,” he said knowingly. “We can’t let that happen again, not now.”

She opened her mouth to reply but swiftly changed her mind. He was right, and it just reminded her of the fight they’d been having earlier, before she passed out again and the hospital was their next destination. There was so much to think about, but keeping it all bottled up inside was what drove them apart the first time.. and the second time... all the times, since she was being really honest with herself. Jess didn’t like to share, and though she was better at it than him, she still got awkward and weird about things sometimes, thinking it was better to soldier on regardless without being true to herself never mind those around her. They couldn’t afford to let themselves be that way now, they just couldn’t.

“You have to be as scared as I am right now,” she said seriously, sitting down on the end of the bed the moment they got inside. “I know it’s not cool for guys to admit it, but you have to be.”

“Rory, I told you years ago, I could care less about being cool,” he rolled his eyes. “Of course this is scary, it’s supposed to be. Honestly, I’d be more worried about us if we were calm,” he admitted, moving to sit beside her and picking up her hand in his own. “Right now, I’m concentrating on what I know for sure. I know I love you, and this kid we’re having. I know that I’m not going to turn out like Jimmy or Liz, I will not let that happen.”

Rory wanted to cry but at least this time it was pure happiness bringing on the tears. She could never tire of hearing that Jess loved her. She felt equally as much for him and hoped he believed in that. He must do, she supposed, or he wouldn’t have let her stay like this and still be by her side now. She loved his confidence in them and in their relationship, rocky as it had often been up to now. Sure, in the beginning, she couldn’t always tell what he was thinking or know for sure how he would react to things, but there was never a time when she didn’t trust him in some odd way that was inexplicable even to her.

“You’re not like your parents, Jess, I know that,” she promised him tearfully, her free hand going to his cheek. “Honestly? Right now I hope I am like mine, well, like my Mom anyway,” she said, trying to be brave, but it wasn’t easy.

Her life was never supposed to be this way, and as happy as Rory was to be with Jess, to be in love and all, it was as scary as she said to think about how much everything had changed lately. All those plans she had as a child, her education, Harvard, a good career in journalism, the next Christianne Amapour. A happy family life of her own, that was supposed to be later, someday, maybe. Everything had gone awry. She switched her focus to Yale, lost her boyfriend, screwed up her life, ran from the town and the mother she loved into the arms of the only man she could imagine loving like this. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a strange kind of right and good, even if Rory wasn’t sure how they went forward from this moment.

“We can do this, Rory,” Jess promised her, pulling her into his arms and holding her close.

He wished he felt as truly confident as he sounded. They could do it, he was sure of that, but how well was a whole other story. Jess was so very determined not to become either of his parents, but it was there in him, coded into his DNA, the ability to be the world’s crappiest father. He would fight against any instinct he had to bail or flip out, because that was what he had to do. He promised he would be here for Rory, and honestly, this was the only place he ever wanted to be, but it wouldn’t come easy. Jess already knew it was only going to get tougher from here, but they’d cope, they didn’t really have a choice.

* * *

“Hey, Mom. It’s me, it’s Rory. I, er, I just wanted to check in, kind of. Um, I don’t want you to worry about me, because... well, because you don’t need to. I’m safe, I’m... I’m good, I just, I can’t come home right now. I’m sorry. I love you.”

Lorelai bit her lip as she hit the button on the answering machine and let the message play over again.

“Hey, Mom. It’s me, it’s Rory. I, er, I just wanted to check in, kind of. Um, I don’t...”

A hand came down and hit the button, silencing her daughter’s rambling. Lorelai glanced up into the face of her boyfriend. She didn’t even know he was there, she hadn’t heard him come in. Sure, he knew where the spare key was, and that the back door was almost always unlocked, especially when she was home, but she ought to have actually noticed he was there.

“This is not healthy, Lorelai,” said Luke, taking the machine from her lap.

She didn’t really try to stop him. She knew it was stupid. Playing that message over and over again. Lorelai couldn’t help it. Somehow being sat here, lotus style on her lumpy couch, listening to her baby girl’s voice, it was oddly comforting, in equal measure to how excruciatingly painful it was. Between the trip to the Europe and the running away, it had been more than two months now. In truth, eight weeks, three days, fourteen hours, and twelve minutes.

“How many times have you listened to that message over the last couple of days?” asked Luke as he put the machine back on the side table. “Fifty maybe?”

“You’re so bad at counting,” she said still staring blankly ahead for a moment before she bothered to focus her eyes on Luke. “Twenty two... and a half,” she admitted, making a vague gesture towards the machine he had taken away from her mid-listen.

Luke sighed and came to sit beside her. He felt so useless in this whole situation.

“Lorelai, please...” he tried to pull her closer but she shied away.

“Please what?” she asked snippily. “Please stop playing the message? Please stop caring that my daughter is gone?”

“I never said you should stop caring. I never would say that!” he insisted, a little put-out by her apparent outrage. “Come on, you know that on the list of people who care about Rory most in the world there is you, and then, a very close second, there’s me,” he told her firmly.

Lorelai knew that was true and nodded her agreement. It didn’t really help, it should, but it didn’t. Luke had been so great this Summer, being there for her like nobody else would. She didn’t deserve him. They decided to officially start dating, and mostly all she’d done was cry on his shoulder and stare into space whenever they spent any time together. It was the not knowing that was killing Lorelai, not knowing where exactly Rory was or what she was doing.

“At least we have proof Rory’s okay,” Luke considered, his arm around Lorelai’s back encouraging her head onto his shoulder. “I would lay good money on her being back before school starts up again,” he continued, as Lorelai shifted position and curled up next to him. “She made a mistake, she feels dumb, and she knows you’re not happy with her right now. I mean, that’s just kids, right?”

“Other kids,” Lorelai mumbled. “Not Rory. Not our Rory.”

“I know,” Luke smiled in spite of himself at the use of the word ‘our’, kissing the top of Lorelai’s head. “I know, but you raised her to have a good head on her shoulders, Lorelai. She made one mistake and things got blown out of proportion, but she will be okay. Rory can take care of herself,” he promised, holding her tight.

“I miss her, Luke,” said Lorelai then, swallowing hard. “I miss my baby and my best friend.”

When she started to cry again, he just held her close with both arms and tried to be of some comfort. He hated seeing her like this. She was the woman he loved most in the world, and Rory came an astoundingly close second, albeit it in a very different way. He could be mad at the girl for running out and upsetting her mother like this, but he understood that she wasn’t happy with herself. Sleeping with Dean had been dumb, on that they could all agree, but it was Rory’s mistake, a big one that she obviously regretted. Still, Luke meant what he said before. A Summer away would get it all out of Rory’s system and she would be back before Yale was back in session. He couldn’t imagine for a moment she would miss that. Not a chance.

* * *

“Not a chance!”

“C’mon, Jerry! I’m the hardest working guy here, and you know it!” Jess insisted, following his boss around the warehouse as the guy checked off stock levels on his clipboard. “All I’m asking is for a couple of extra shifts.”

The older man turned to look at Jess, and on seeing how determined he looked started to change his mind. He really shouldn’t give in, he knew that, but the kid was right, he really was the best worker he ever had. Jerry scratched his head just below the band of his safety helmet.

“Jess, buddy. You know if I could help you out, I would, in a heartbeat,” he said definitely. “But I know you’re already working two jobs, and... well, when the hell are you gonna eat and sleep?”

Jess faltered a moment, knowing that what he let Jerry believe was a lie. He was actually working three jobs right now, and looking for more whenever and wherever he could get it. Sure, it was going to be tough and there really wouldn’t be much time for anything else, but he had to do this, for Rory and the baby.

“I got it covered,” he said vaguely, pushing his hand back through his hair that was getting longer and starting to bug him. “C’mon, man, I really need the money right now.”

That didn’t seem to improve Jerry’s mood at all. His eyes narrowed, looking right into Jess’ own for a moment.

“You got yourself into some kinda trouble, Mariano?” he checked, but his employee shook his head.

“Not how you think,” he assured him, knowing he was thinking of drugs or gangs by now. “Between you and me, okay?” he said, stepping in closer, ensuring nobody could hear. “Rory and me, we’re having a baby.”

Jerry’s face broke out into a grin.

“Hey, you’re gonna be a father? Congrats, kid, that’s amazing!” he said definitely, slapping him on the back so hard, Jess had to make a conscious effort not to wince - his boss was a big guy!

“Yeah, it’s cool, or it would be if I had enough money,” he said pointedly into Jerry’s still grinning face. “Call me crazy, but I could use not having to raise my kid in a dumpster just ‘cause I couldn’t make enough cash for rent and food.”

Jerry knew he was going to have to give in on this one. Jess Mariano was a good kid, he worked hard, took all the crappy shifts, and really didn’t complain. He hadn’t taken one sick day or even a day of leave since he started here, plus he was working elsewhere between his shifts, Jerry knew. One thing was for sure, the kid smiled a lot more since his girlfriend came to town. The famous Rory had made all the difference to Jess’ temper, and now they were having a baby. That wasn’t going to be easy, but Jerry had faith that some young people had what it took to make these situations work out for the best. If anyone could do it, he believed Jess could, or die trying.

“Okay, okay,” he conceded at last. “You wore me down, I’ll put your name on a couple more shifts,” he promised, glad to see the grin that lit up Jess’ face then. “But if your output suffers....”

“It won’t,” he insisted before the warning had even really been given.

Shaking his boss by the hand, Jess turned and walked away with a spring in his step. Work meant money and money meant paying the rent, buying food, getting things in order for the baby coming. Of course, the happy expression on his face did waver as he considered how little time there really would be between work to actually spend with Rory, and as Jerry said, he still had to eat and sleep too. Things were going to get very tough for a while, especially since Rory herself would only be able to work so long in her condition, but Jess was determined to cope, determined to be the man of the family that his father, or the myriad of step-fathers he had known, never managed to be. He could do this, him and Rory, they could make it, at least he hoped so. Jess couldn’t help thinking things might be a whole lot easier if he could ask Luke for a little help, but that wasn’t an option right now. Time to stand on his own two feet like he always said he was able. Jess figured it was time to find out if that was really true.


	11. Chapter 10

“You need to take care of yourself, cucciolo,” said Mrs Rossini, putting a hand to Jess’ shoulder. “You are too pale, far too pale!”

“I’m fine,” he snapped a little, flinching away from her touch.

In a split second he regretted it and let out a long breath, letting all the frustration go with it. This wasn’t Mrs R’s fault, not any of it, and he never meant to take it out on her for a second. It had just been a long night after a series of other long nights and days. Staggering home at six in the morning, more tired than he’d ever been, Jess had hoped to avoid having to meet anybody on the way back to his apartment, most especially Mrs Rossini. She worried so much about him and about Rory too. It bothered him to have this conversation, to have her tell him he looked pale and unwell. Jess knew he did, he knew all this work was slowly killing him, but if nobody reminded him he could try to forget and make everything okay. Screw being realistic, he could deal with this.

“I’m sorry, Mrs R,” he told her, eyes closed a moment as he found the calm centre that seemed to be eluding him more often than not lately. “But I am fine, honestly. It’s tough right now, all the work and everything, but I’m coping.”

She didn’t look as if she believed him. Mrs Rossini had lived in the world too long to be easily fooled by a kid of nineteen who was over-stretching himself. Her arms folded across her chest, eyes narrowing. Never had an old woman in a pale blue bathrobe and curlers ever looked so severe.

“I don’t like when you tell me lies, Jess,” she shook her head. “I am old, I’m not stupid.”

“You? Old? No way,” he smirked and leaned back against the wall by her door, turning on the old Mariano charm because it had never failed to get him out of an awkward conversation with a woman yet. “Experienced of the world, that’s all. I would never call you old, Mrs R.”

“You think you can flatter your way out of this?” she questioned, one eyebrow raised. “You are good, young man, but not that good.”

Jess almost laughed, almost. Nothing was quite funny enough to produce a genuine chuckle through the sheer weight of fatigue right now. Not many could out-smart him or see through him. Two women that always could bore the name of Gilmore. Mrs Rossini was the third and only other he had ever known.

“I worry about you, bambino.”

“I know,” he nodded, pushing off the wall and standing firm on shaky legs. “But seriousy, Mrs R, you don’t have to. Money is tight as it is and now saving for the baby, I’m not gonna lie, it’s hard, but me and Rory, we got this,” he told her definitely. “I’m working, so is she for as long as she can and... and we’ll get by.”

Mrs Rossini seemed happy enough with his explanation of things, though she made him promise to be careful, take care of himself as well as his girlfriend and unborn child. Jess said he would and then she finally let him go.

No longer needing to put on a smiling act for his friend and neighbour, Jess felt his whole body just want to give in the moment Mrs R closed her door. There was another flight of stairs between him and his own apartment. Suddenly those few steps felt like miles, and every muscle in Jess’ body screamed to be allowed to give up, give in, just collapse in a heap right here and rest.

He was working too hard, Jess knew he was. His body was telling him loud and clear, even if he had been too dumb to do the math and realise he just wasn’t getting enough sleep to balance out the working hours. Rory hadn’t realise how much time he spent split between his three different jobs. She thought he stayed in and slept when she was out herself, but he hardly ever did. They saw little of each other these past couple of weeks, and Jess was suffering that blow on top of just feeling exhausted all the time. He staggered up to the middle of the flight of stairs, pausing briefly in the stairwell. He considered sitting there a minute to get his breath back and paint on a smile before he got as far as facing Rory. He changed his mind when he noticed the used needle in one corner, the broken glass in the other.

Jess ran a shaky hand over his face and fought to keep moving. They couldn’t stay here. It was okay when it was just him, he had even made his peace with Rory having to live here at first, because she was tougher than she looked most of the time. Now she was pregnant and there was a baby to think of. This was no place for Rory to live in her condition, and certainly no home for child. They needed something better, but everything in New York was expensive and getting worse all the time. This was literally the best they could afford here, and Jess knew he had to tell Rory, even though he was dreading it.

She was almost three months pregnant now, and so thin she was already starting to show. Jess worried about her constantly, especially working in the busy coffee shop down the street. Rory shouldn’t be doing so much, he was sure, even though she insisted it was fine. She cited women in Africa that worked in the fields, let the baby just come tumbling out and then carried on picking vegetables like nothing happened. Jess didn’t always know how to argue with her, even when she was making dumb statements like that. It was hard to be sharp, clever, and witty when your brain cells were dying from lack of sleep and your body was giving in from over-exertion.

Regardless, Jess knew they needed to get out of New York, he just wasn’t sure where they were going to go. Stars Hollow kept springing to mind, no longer seeming like such a hellish place in their time of need. He trudged up the last few steps, thinking vaguely of an argument he had accidentally started, a the few days after discovering Rory was pregnant. Wherever they were going to end up, he had expected her home town to be Rory’s first choice. Even considering how he left, he still thought she would be eager to get back soon, but the moment he suggested she call Lorelai, his girlfriend had kind of lost it on him.

_“No! No, I am not calling my Mom. She wouldn’t... She won’t understand!”_

_“Rory, I know you left in bad circumstances, but you can’t avoid Lorelai forever. She can help you.”_

_“I don’t need any help, not from her, not from that place. I have you. We have each other, why can’t that be enough?”_

_“It is. For me, it is, but Rory, you two were so close, and she’s gonna understand what you’re going through...”_

_“No! She’d hate me, Jess. Don’t you understand? I did what the one thing she never wanted me to. I copied her in the one thing she begged me not to!”_

Jess winced as he reached the front door, recalling Rory’s tears soaking his shoulder as he held her tight, rubbing her back, promising her everything would be okay. Lorelai could never hate her, he knew that, and Rory knew it too. She had just freaked herself out about all of this. Sure, Lorelai would be disappointed to know Rory’s life wouldn’t be quite what they planned now, but she would never, ever hate her baby girl, any more than Jess could hate his own child. He already loved this baby, be it boy or girl, never mind the fact he or she wouldn’t be born for another six months.

He was going to be a father. Jess knew it but once in a while it hit him between the eyes all over again. Walking into the apartment and seeing Rory lying on her back in the bed, the bump at her stomach only just visible beneath the sheets, he remembered all over again. He was going to be a father. Jess had never wanted to call Luke so badly in all his life, but he wouldn’t. To tell Luke the truth was to tell Lorelai, and that they had agreed not to do until Rory was ready. It was the same with the whole subject of Yale and Stars Hollow. She wanted him to leave it alone whilst she made a decision, but time ticked by, day by day, and Rory never made any decisions. She worked, she cleaned, she tried to cook and failed badly. Jess worked even more, and did all he could to make sure she was happy and comfortable, but it didn't come easy. They saw each other very little, and when they were together they were mostly sleeping. It was no life, but Jess wasn’t going to give up on it. He had Rory and a baby to think of. Nothing else really mattered.

Kicking off his shoes and throwing his jacket aside, Jess laid down on top of the covers next to Rory. Her eyes flickered open when the bed shifted and her hand reached out to him. Jess caught her fingers in his own and squeezed, then raised them to his lips to kiss.

“Morning,” he whispered, looking across at her with eyes that barely wanted to stay open.

“Hey,” she replied, the word barely a sigh as she turned into him and cuddled up close. “What time is it?”

“Around six,” he told her, wrapping his arms around her, kissing the top of her head where it lay on his chest now. “How’re you feeling?”

“A little chilly, but okay,” she told him, hugging him tighter.

She didn’t feel quite as warm as she should, mostly because the apartment wasn’t well heated and barely insulated. Summer was on its way out already. The warm sunny days were all well and good but when they were over, even a single room apartment was hard to keep warm in the bitter cold of a New York winter. It reminded Jess all over again that they couldn’t stay, and that there was at least one place they could go that’d be better. If Rory had never come here, well, Jess couldn’t bear to think about that at the moment, but he did know she would be getting ready to head back to Yale right now. Sophomore year had to be starting up in a couple of weeks, and still she refused to talk about it. This couldn’t go on.

“Y’know, you’re going to have to at least call Yale, tell them you’re not going back right now,” he muttered in the half-light. “At least, if you’re definitely not going...”

“You know I’m not,” said Rory with a frown, her head coming up off Jess’ chest too fast. “You know I can’t.”

“Depends,” he shrugged awkwardly against the mattress. “I mean, if your grandparents are still willing to pay after everything, we could go back and...”

“Jess!” she huffed, scrambling to sit up.

She put her back to him and folded her arms across her chest, a sure sign she was pissed. Jess didn’t blame her. Rory had asked him, practically begged him, not to bring any of this stuff up again, not until she was ready. He didn’t want to. He would love for them to live in some bubble of happiness with no worries about money or the future. Unfortunately, this was the real world, and these things had to be dealt with. It had to be now too.

“Rory”, he sighed, pulling his body up to a sitting position even as every muscle protested. “I’m sorry,” he told her, wrapping the covers around her shoulders as she shivered. “I promised that you could count on me, and you can,” he reminded her, trying to hug her but she shrugged him off. “But we can’t live like this anymore. You need to go back to Yale, somehow, and we need to...”

“No!” she yelled, cutting him off in a second. “I’m not going back to Yale, and I’m not going back to Stars Hollow. Not now, not like this!” she said frustrated. “I cannot face my Mom, she won’t understand!”

“Then what are we gonna do, Rory?!” he yelled back at her, unable to help it when she was being so stubborn.

“I don't know!” she told him, getting up from the bed, flinging her arms wide and letting the bed sheets fall. “I don't know anything anymore! I... I need to make a list,” she said suddenly, running her hands over face and though her hair as she spun a full circle. “A pro-con list,” she clarified as she hunted down pen and paper from the table by the bed. “It always worked before, it’s what we need to do..."

“Oh, come on!” Jess all but exploded as he leapt from the bed to. “Can't you grow up and just think for yourself, Rory?"

It was a cruel thing to say, perhaps, especially now when she was vulnerable and all, but right now everything had just come to a head. They were both so tired, so frustrated with everything, with each other, with life. All the pent up tension had to come out somewhere, and now here it was, loud and nasty as it exploded all over the apartment.

“Really?” she gasped at his words. “I'm the one that needs to grow up? Mr Runs Out The Door At The First Sign of Anything? God, Jess, I'm surprised you're still here. Isn’t it about time you were running away already!"

If she had slapped him it would've hurt less, she knew it the moment she met his eyes and saw the pain there. Sure, he had meant to wound with his words too, but Rory was sure she had gone too far this time. Jimmy ran out on Liz when Jess was born, the very day he came into the world, no less. It was true enough that Jess had left Stars Hollow, twice, without saying goodbye, but he had also told Rory a few months back that he had changed and could be reliable now. He had certainly proved himself since she came here. Finding out about the baby hadn’t phased him at all. He worked hard to make sure they had enough money, enough food. He took care of her, they looked out for each other, and Jess had never once shown signs of bolting. Rory’s shoulder sagged, all the fight going out of her.

“Jess, I... I'm sorry,” she told him, clearing the space between them as quickly as her feet would take her to him. “I’m so sorry, I just, I feel so out of control with the hormones and everything. I didn’t mean it,” she insisted, reaching a hand out to his face, but he shied away.

“Yeah, you did, and it’s fine,” he told her quietly, eyes elsewhere as he tried to mask the pain she had already seen. “You’re right, Rory,” he said after taking a deep breath and feeling ready to meet her gaze again. “I gave you every reason to think I was useless and unreliable, okay? I know that, but it's different now. I’m different,” he reminded her definitely.

She nodded sadly in agreement, one lone tear streaking down her cheek.

“I know,” she promised, “but I’m still sorry.”

This time when she reached for him, he let her. She kissed his cheek, his lips, and then went into his arms to be held close and safe from all the worries of the world. Jess wasn’t sure how he was holding himself up, never mind her too, but he couldn’t let go, not for anything in the world.

"I’m sorry too,” he told her, kissing her hair. “You wanna make your pro-con list then we'll do it, whatever you want.”

Jess never thought he’d see the day when he hoped one of Rory’s pro-con lists would come out with a result like ‘go home to Stars Hollow’ and yet right now it seemed like the best idea in the world. He wouldn’t say a word, not now. They needed to sleep for a while, before he had to be at his next job and Rory had to go to hers. There was so much to think about, so much to deal with. For now, all he had to concentrate on was holding onto the woman he loved, making her feel better about the future they had to face. He wanted to promise her that everything would be okay, but that seemed like it would be the biggest lie he ever told somehow. Instead he told Rory that he loved her, that he always would and that would never change. At least that was the truth, and it didn’t cost a thing.


	12. Chapter 11

“This is delicious,” said Rory awkwardly around the biggest mouthful of pasta ever seen.

Mrs Rossini took no offence at what might be considered bad manners by some. She liked to see people enjoying their food, especially when she had cooked it herself. She certainly found a grateful dinner guest in Rory, and in Jess on the days when he came to dinner too. What was surprising to the older woman was that it was the female of the couple with the heartier appetite. That was fine by Mrs R, especially since Rory was now eating for two. The poor girl was so very thin, from the first day Mrs R met her actually, though she was more so now. That wasn’t right, not when she was carrying a child. It would not do at all.

“I am glad you’re enjoying it, my dear,” she told Rory as the young woman continued to eat with gusto. “You need feeding up, all three of you,” she said with a knowing look.

Rory smiled at the sentiment, her free hand not holding the fork going absently to her stomach. She was mostly okay about the whole pregnancy thing. She’d had plenty of time to get used to it now, being almost three months gone. She was starting to show and deliberately wore baggy clothes when she worked so neither her colleagues or the customers would tell, it was just easier that way. Still, it was nice to have Mrs R in the loop on what was going on.

Unfortunately, Mrs Rossini couldn’t help Rory with any useful pregnancy advice. She had no children of her own, and whilst she had plenty of stories about helping to raise kids, she couldn’t say much on the process of carrying a child or giving birth. Rory had nobody to turn to in that regard. Her Mom would be he best person to call, but somehow she couldn’t make her peace with picking up the phone. Every time she thought about it, she saw the look on Lorelai’s face when she caught her and Dean together. She heard the words she yelled at her then, how disappointed she had been. Then came the flashbacks to words said and accusations made when it came to Jess. Somewhere between getting back with her ex and getting pregnant, Rory knew her mother would go crazy. One of those factors would be enough, but both together, and on top of the way she left and why, it was too much.

“You are worrying too much,” said Mrs Rossini, clearly having noticed the way Rory was so thoughtfully chewing on her food now and not putting any more into her mouth.

“I’m sorry,” she apologised immediately and made a point of eating another forkful of delicious pasta.

“Don’t be sorry, bambina” Mrs R told her, wiping her hands on her apron and sitting down beside Rory. “Tell me, what worries you. Is it that boy working too hard?”

Rory sighed heavily. She did worry about Jess a lot. He seemed to be working almost every hour that he could and always looked so tired. He soldiered on because he felt he had to. They needed the money, and Jess was so determined to be the support that Rory needed in her pregnancy - financially, emotionally, everything. 

“We fight so much lately,” she shook her head. “I feel bad because he is trying so hard to do everything to help me, but... but he works so hard, I hardly see him. He’s always tired, always in a bad mood. I’m no better, I just seem to swing from angry to sad and hardly ever really happy anymore...” explained Rory, tears filling her eyes as she talked about it all at last.

“Times are hard,” her friend and neighbour sympathised. “This is how life can be for young couples starting out.”

“I know,” Rory nodded. “I understand life is tough sometimes, and I don’t mind working hard and everything, I can deal with that, we both can. It’s not just the work, it’s not even just the baby.”

There was so much she could tell Mrs R, but it almost felt like a betrayal to let too much out. Most of it was her own fault, but she worried about making Jess come off like the bad guy somehow. He was doing everything he could, but it still wasn’t enough. He was hiding things from Rory, she suspected quite how much he was working, and how badly off they were for cash even with all the hours he was putting in at Walmart, for the messenger service, and at the bar. They needed to get out of New York. He said it several times, and Rory wasn’t dumb enough to ignore what she knew must be true. This was an expensive place to live and getting worse all the time.

“He talks about leaving” she told Mrs R. “Somewhere less expensive, out of the city... and I know it makes sense, I do, but... but this is the only place I’ve lived except for home and school.”

“And you cannot go home?” her friend checked. “I know you have said you think your mother would not welcome you back, but maybe you’re mistaken.”

“I’m not,” said Rory firmly, shaking her head to emphasise her point. “My Mom never liked Jess, and the last thing she wanted for me was an unplanned pregnancy.”

“I understand,” Mrs R nodded. “But your mama loves you, and such a person can forgive much.”

Rory smiled sadly, thinking of a scenario where she could imagine her mother being so pleased to see her home. If she went alone, if she wasn’t pregnant, then yes, she could see that in her head as being a happy occasion. Relief to be together again, a little anger at the way they parted, but it could all work out. Even through what happened with Dean and the running away, Rory could see the mother-daughter relationship being patched up somehow. Circumstances being what they were now, it just felt so impossible.

“I made a list,” she said then. “Several actually. Jess and me, we picked out places we might go to live, maybe Philadelphia, or New Jersey, places like that. We wrote down all the pros and cons, you know, the advantages and disadvantages?” she continued on when Mrs R nodded that she understood. “Sometimes it’s obvious what we should do, and then it changes... Sometimes I just think we should go home, but there is so much in the con column on that one, I just can’t,” she shook her head again, this time dislodging tears that streaked down her pale face.

“Oh, my dear,” Mrs Rossini said, looking pained as she wrapped an arm around Rory’s shoulders. “Things will get better. Maria will help you, anyway that I can,” she promised, hugging the poor young woman close.

It was comforting in its way, but all Rory could think was that nobody’s embrace could be as comforting as her mother’s right now. Lying in Jess’ arms felt good, always, but it wasn’t the same. She needed a woman who understood what she was going through. She needed her best friend. Up to now, that had always been her mom.

Rory opened her mouth to thank Mrs R for all she already said and did, but the words didn’t come. There was a crash in the hallway that made both women jump. Rory wasn’t sure what made her so certain, but somehow she just knew it was Jess. She was up from her seat in a second, practically throwing her dish of pasta aside. She bolted to the door, with Mrs Rossini hot on her heels, crying for her young friend to be careful. Rory didn’t hear, she flung open the door and felt her heart break at the sight. Jess was face down at the top of the stairs, his legs dangling in ungainly fashion down the steps. One arm was under his body, the other reaching out as if he tried to save himself - it was in a pile of broken glass.

“Oh my God!” Rory gasped, rushing to his side. “Jess? Jess!” she yelled his name over and over as she tried to figure out how best to help him.

He was too heavy to move much, and if she misjudged taking any of his weight he could slide right down the staircase. Rory barely noticed Mrs Rossini helping until suddenly she was sat on the floor with her boyfriend’s head in her lap whilst Mrs R bound his bleeding hand with the scarf torn from her hair.

“Jess, please!” Rory urged him to wake, her hands at his face and running through his hair. “Please wake up!”

He didn’t respond for a long while, and Mrs Rossini hopped back to her feet, declaring she must call an ambulance. Rory barely noticed the going of her friend, her full concentration was on the pale and motionless face of her lover. He meant so much to her and she needed him, not just because she was pregnant, but because she could never imagine loving another man this much, not ever.

“Jess?” she checked when he seemed to make a sound, a groan of pain or fatigue, she wasn’t sure which. “Jess, please don’t leave me.”

“Rory?” he croaked, his eyes flickering a moment before they closed again and he was gone back into the darkness.

“Jess!”

* * *

Rory was right there at his bedside when Jess came to. Everything felt fuzzy but he knew he was in the hospital. He had been fading in an out of consciousness for a while, too exhausted to fully open his eyes, but he heard things, saw a little. Yep, this was a hospital bed, the uncomfortableness of the thin mattress and the sterile smell gave it away, plus Rory looked so freaked out when he finally opened his eyes properly and saw her face.

“I’m sorry,” he said, squeezing the hand that had been desperately holding onto his for a while now. “Rory, I am so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, you don’t have to be,” she promised him tearfully. “I know you were working so hard for me, for us,” she sniffed, her free hand going to the slight roundness of her belly. “It’s my fault you’re here.”

“Don’t do that,” Jess shook his head slightly. “This is not your fault. You didn’t make me take on extra shifts. You didn’t even know how many hours I was working, I made sure of that,” he told her, words segueing into a yawn he couldn’t control.

“You need rest, lots of rest,” she advised, smiling slightly as she reached over to push his ever-unruly hair out of his sleepy eyes. “The doctors say that a couple of days solid sleep should do wonders, and the drip in your arm is for the hydration and stuff. They cleaned up your hand from when you fell, that's just a minor thing, they said. You’ll be okay,” she promised.

Jess nodded, knowing she was right. He had hoped to avoid this. He knew he wasn’t coping quite as well as he pretended, but he never really expected to end up in hospital. This was just one more thing they were going to have to find money for, and all the time he wasn’t earning any more. Just thinking about it made his aching head spin all over again. The crinkling of his brow gave him away and Rory knew the worries were going round and around in his head.

“Please, Jess,” she urged him, fingers tripping over his forehead and back through his hair again. “Don’t worry about anything. Just concentrate on resting up and feeling better.”

“It’s not that simple, Ror,” he reminded her, turning to meet her eyes again. “We can’t live like this anymore, we just can’t.”

“I know,” she nodded, already knowing he was right long before he said it.

All that talk about leaving New York, it couldn’t be just talk anymore. They had to go somewhere else, somewhere where the cost of living was cheaper and bottom-of-the-foodchain apartments were safer. A place where Jess wouldn’t have to work himself into the ground just so they could get by. Rory could only think of one place and she dare not say the words, for both of their sakes, she just couldn’t.

Jess’ eyes were closing when she paid attention again. He needed sleep more than anything else, the doctors had said as much. A couple of days rest and he would be discharged, then they had to make a real decision about he future for the both of them, for all three of them actually. For now, Rory was just going to sit here in her chair and watch over the man she loved most in the world. It was all she could do.

* * *

The next time Jess opened his eyes to the world it was dark outside the window. Whether it was the same day or the next, he honestly couldn’t be sure. Rory was in the chair still, curled up like a child with a blanket thrown over her. He smiled at the sight, and then immediately frowned. She deserved so much better than this life. Their child deserved better too.

Money was always going to be an issue, no matter where they went. There was really only one place where they could get the help and support they needed most, and Jess knew that was going to be a tough call. Stars Hollow was somewhere he swore he would never return after Rory’s rejection of him months ago. The sting of that night faded right away over this Summer spent together and in love, planning a future where they would be together always and raise their son or daughter as a family. Lorelai was not going to be happy, and Jess doubted Luke would be thrilled either. Most of the town hated him, and knocking up sweet little Rory Gilmore wasn’t going to help his case one bit. At the same time, Jess kind of missed the wacky little town, the only place besides New York he had ever really looked upon as any kind of home.

Shifting in the bed and attempting to sit up, Jess’ elbow caught Rory's notebook on the bedside locker that went tumbling to the ground. Leaning out of the bed to grab it made his head spin wildly and bile rise in his throat. Fighting the urge to pass out or throw up, Jess focused on the pages now in his hands. Pro con lists. He smiled at the sight of Rory’s childish but favourite way to make any big decision. She had one each for all the places they had thought to go to when they left New York. He barely looked at any of the reasons on either side of the line for Philly, New Jersey, or any other place, until he hit a page he only half expected to find. Stars Hollow. This was one list she had not consulted him on at all but he couldn’t mind.

Rory had been so dead set against going back, even though Jess knew she was missing Lorelai and her home town desperately. One by one he read the cons first, which included ‘facing Mom’, ‘facing Dean’, ‘being near Yale but not going’, and ‘leaving Mrs R’. On the other hand there was the pro list, which was of almost equal length to its adversary. It included Lorelai’s name again, plus Luke, Lane, and the Gilmore grandparents, a support system, cheaper living accommodation, everything from the practical to the truly sentimental. By far the most telling thing was the last ‘pro’ listed, in block capital letters. Jess’ breath caught in his throat when he read it.

“Our home,” he read aloud, looking over to see Rory wide awake now and staring at him.

She probably came to when the notebook went clattering to the floor, but hadn’t said a word yet. She had let him sit silently reading her lists, just waiting to see how he reacted to them. Jess surprised them both when he smiled.

“Our home,” he repeated. “Time we got back there, huh?”

Rory couldn’t speak, but the nodding of her head proved she agreed, at last. It was not going to be easy, facing up to everybody after all that had happened, but it was time to try and they both knew it. Time to head back to Stars Hollow, the place they first met, their one true home.


	13. Chapter 12

It had taken shockingly little planning to leave New York and head back to Stars Hollow. The city ought to feel like home to Jess. It was where he was born and raised for most of his life, and where he always seemed to migrate back to in the end. It was still weird to him, that a place he had lived for only a couple of years off-and-on during his teen years felt much more like it should earn the title of home. He suspected it was less the town than a specific person. Whilst his own parents were pretty useless a not small part of the time, Jess knew that Luke had always done his best for him. He may be his uncle in reality, but Jess saw a father when he looked at Luke. He wouldn’t ever tell him, but it was true, and he was sure on some level he knew anyway. So much for all that talk of paying him back one day, now he was about to land up on his ex-guardian’s doorstep again asking for more. He hated that, but Jess also knew he had no choice.

Rory knew it too. She was no more enamoured with facing her mother right now than Jess was when it came to settling in Connecticut for the foreseeable, but they were out of options. She would be too pregnant to work before long and was already suffering from stress and not eating enough. Jess had physically collapsed with exhaustion, spending two expensive days in the hospital just sleeping and getting fixed up. They were short on cash, desperate for help, and with a baby on the way it just wasn’t the same as playing house, just the two of them. They might’ve coped if Rory wasn’t pregnant, but she was, and the child she carried had to matter more than anything else.

Mrs Rossini was genuinely sad to see them go. She urged them to visit whenever they could, and Jess was quick to give her details about Stars Hollow, where to find Luke’s diner, and a number for his cell phone so she could call if she needed them. 

“What would I need?” she had shrugged her old boney shoulders and clasped Jess’ face in both hands. “You are the ones who need the help, and now, with family all around you, you will get it,” she smiled, even as tears came to her eyes. “You are a good boy, Jess Mariano. You will make Rory happy, and you will be a good father, I know.”

“I’m gonna try, Mrs R,” he promised.

Unsurprisingly, Rory got emotional as she said goodbye to Mrs Rossini too. It was hugs and tears aplenty in the cold stairwell and then it was time to leave or risk missing the bus out of town. The trip took hours and Rory tried to sleep most of the way. Jess knew that much of the time she was faking, but he let her be. Her head was too busy to quit and he knew how that went, because he felt the same. There was no way either of them were going to be welcomed back with open arms exactly, not with circumstances being as they were. Lorelai was going to go crazy when she realised Rory was not only back with Jess but also pregnant. Luke was likely to be disappointed too, and that cut Jess deep. He didn’t want to hurt his uncle, not for anything. He only hoped that he wouldn’t look at him the way he looked at Liz sometimes, with that tired kind of pity. Jess couldn’t take that.

Shifting in the seat, he pulled Rory in tighter to his side and kissed her hair. She stirred in her almost-sleep and sighed. Just a few miles left and he would have to wake her up, let her prepare for the moment when they re-entered Stars Hollow, facing not just Lorelai and Luke, but Taylor, Miss Patty, Babette, every gossip in town, not to mention Dean Forester. Jess forced down a growl at the very thought of that particular person. Last tall, dark and forehead knew about things, he and Rory had just slept together. She hadn’t said much to Jess about it, apart from the fact that it happened, though he felt the need to ask how she had left things when they made the firm decision to come back to Stars Hollow. Rory was honest enough to admit that she didn’t really know. Dean was still married to Lindsay, and as far as she was concerned, that was that. Whether Dean realised it, Rory couldn’t say for sure. Sleeping with her ex had been such a mistake in her eyes, and Jess was torn between feeling very glad she thought so and desperately sorry for her. First times mattered so much to girls, especially ones like Rory, and it hadn’t work out like it should. Jess tried to make it better, not least because he felt at least somewhat responsible. His behaviour hadn’t helped, his running out over and over certainly hadn’t. He should’ve stayed, should’ve been there and tried harder, maybe then he and Rory would have been together this whole time and he would have been her first.

There was no use covering old ground now and Jess knew it. The present and the future were what mattered, taking life one day at a time and hoping for the best. The sign-post read ‘Welcome to Stars Hollow’ and the bus station was within sight. This was it.

“Rory?” he said softly, jostling her shoulder. “Wake up, sweetheart. We’re home,” he told her with half a smile.

Waking slowly, she looked up at him and returned the expression. It was both a blessing and a curse to be back here and each of them knew it. Rory sat herself up, leaned over to kiss her boyfriend’s lips.

“We can do this,” she said with a little more confidence than she felt.

“We can do anything,” he winked, gripping her hand tight in his own as the bus came to a halt at last.

They didn’t have much in the way of luggage to offload. The meagre furniture and appliances that Jess actually owned were sold for as much as they could get, and between them their clothes and books were quite minimal. Jess carried his backpack, duffel, and a large hold-all, allowing Rory only to bring a much smaller lighter bag of her own. She insisted she was fine, but he insisted better that she had to be careful.

“Where first?” he asked as they set off walking down the street, eyes wide open as they watched out for anyone they recognised or who might recognise them.

Rory knew the question was whether they should see Luke or Lorelai first and she really didn’t have an answer. Her heart pulled her towards home to her mother, but she dreaded the reaction she would get there. At the same time, she felt she was probably adding insult to injury if she kept her Mom out of the loop any longer than necessary by going to Luke before her.

“My house,” she said eventually.

Given it was Saturday afternoon, Lorelai was likely to be home. If she wasn’t, at least they could dump the luggage and make a decision for where they tried next or if they just waited it out. Jess agreed to Rory’s decision without question and they set off in the right direction for the Gilmore House. The route they took off the main streets was deliberate, even though it was longer, then suddenly they were on the driveway of Rory’s home, and tears welled in her eyes at the sight of it.

“You ready?” asked Jess, wishing he could hug her right now, but all the luggage kind of got in the way of any kind of closeness.

“Yeah,” she forced out, swallowing hard and stepping forward.

Jess followed dutifully behind up to the front door and watched as Rory looked confused a moment and then knocked. She had her key and if no-one was home she would probably use it, he supposed, but if Lorelai was in it seemed better if she was given the chance to answer. There was an agonising wait of less than ten seconds, and then the door opened.

“Rory!” 

Lorelai had her baby girl in her arms in a second as Jess looked on. She was thrilled to have Rory back, as Jess always knew she would be. Of course, Lorelai would be underwhelmed when she looked up and realised he was there to, or what their exact circumstances were. In her over-sized sweater, it was hard to tell Rory was pregnant and that was a deliberate move. She needed to drop that bombshell as gently as possible, after the dust had settled from too many others, Jess included.

“Where have you been? Why didn’t you call me? Rory, those messages nearly killed me! I missed you so much!” Lorelai was rambling and she knew it, and Rory cried into her shoulder about how sorry she was for hurting her Mom that much.

It took a couple of minutes before Lorelai paid proper attention to the fact that her daughter was not alone.

“Jess?” she gasped at the sight of him, barely releasing Rory from her arms even now, like she thought she might disappear again the second she stopped touching her to ensure she was real.

“Hi,” he answered simply, not sure what else was the right thing to say.

“I don’t understand...” she shook her head, looking from him to Rory and back.

“It’s a long story, Mom,” her daughter told her. “If we could go inside?”

“Sure, okay. Yeah, inside is good,” Lorelai nodded, ushering Rory in, though her eyes were still on Jess and her stare was not welcoming.

He did his best to ignore it as he gathered up the luggage and hefted it into the entrance hall. He followed on into the living room then, taking the armchair when Lorelai led Rory to the couch. He wanted to be beside his girlfriend, holding her hand, letting her know he was there for her. Surprise, surprise, Lorelai was not allowing that.

“So, when you left, it was with him?” she asked Rory.

“No, Jess was already gone when I left, but I did go to him,” she admitted. “We’ve been living in New York.”

“In New York. Okay, but see, you could’ve called me and told me that.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you’d’ve been thrilled,” Jess rolled his eyes, immediately regretting it when Lorelai glared at him.

“Jess, please,” Rory urged him to be civil. “This hasn’t been easy on anyone, and a lot of it is my fault. Probably all of it actually. Mom, I know you and Jess never really got along, but... well, the fact is I love him and he loves me, and we’ve been so happy these last few weeks.”

“Uh-huh,” Lorelai nodded, though she didn’t sound convinced.

“I know what this looks like,” Jess told her. “It looks like I stole your daughter away like the big bad wolf and kept her from you, but I didn’t. I swear, Lorelai, I was the one telling her she should call you, every other damn day, until she got so upset about it, I had to stop.”

Lorelai looked taken aback by that little speech and neither of the kids wondered at it. To her, that wouldn’t seem like a Jess thing to do, to consider another person’s feelings and do the right thing. Somehow they seemed to have entered a topsy turvy world where Rory was the irresponsible one and Jess was the adult. Lorelai felt dizzy.

“I still can’t understand why you wouldn’t want to call me,” she sighed, looking back to Rory. “Honey, I know we had that fight and things were weird when you left for Europe, but to disappear altogether and not even let me know you were okay. That’s not cool.”

“I know,” Rory hung her head in shame. “I never meant for things to go so far. I just... I had to get away, and then everything seemed so much easier, not having to face up to what I did with Dean or how I hurt you,” she admitted, tears filling her eyes all over again. “It was like living in a bubble where there was just us and we were happy, and I did miss you, Mom, I did but... things got complicated, and...”

“So you two are...? You’re back together,” said Lorelai, a statement not a question because it was pretty obvious at this point. “You love each other, which is great, I guess, but when you left here...” she said, looking to Rory. “Honey, before you left for Europe you were telling me how much you loved Dean.”

She wasn’t sparing anyone’s feelings, that was for sure, and Jess felt the familiar jolt of pain at the mention of Forester, and more so what happened between him and Rory. Still, he didn’t let it show, it didn’t matter now, it couldn’t.

“I was so confused,” he heard Rory tell Lorelai then. “Dean was... he said he still loved me, and that things weren’t working out with Lindsay. I felt sorry for him, and for myself, because... well, I felt so bad making Jess go away but at the same time I was mad at him for making me feel so confused all over again. I should never have slept with Dean. I don’t love him anymore, not that way. I haven’t for a long time and for a while I stupidly let myself believe that I did. It was the biggest mistake I ever made, Mom.”

“Well, yeah, it’s right up there, kid, I’ll give you that,” Lorelai agreed. “But so is running out on me, not calling, and then showing up again with him.”

“Gee, thanks,” said Jess, even though he could kind of understand where she was coming from.

Lorelai never liked him, and as much as he and Rory both protested the fact, it was still looking kind of like Jess kept the Gilmore girls apart somehow. As much as he wanted to dive into this situation, he knew he had to let them figure it out alone. He was here for when the bomb dropped, when Rory gave Lorelai the big news, but until then he was going to try his best to keep quiet.

“Mom, I made a lot of mistakes, I know that,” she said then. “But one regret I don’t have is getting back together with Jess. This is right, Mom, I know that it is,” she said desperately, gripping Lorelai’s hands in her own.

“Well, maybe,” she agreed awkwardly, feeling that for as long as she kept her back to Jess she could almost imagine he wasn’t there. “I should be more mad at you, but I am so glad to have you home, baby,” she said, reaching out to tuck Rory’s hair behind her ear and smiling widely.

“That’s so weird that you should call me that,” her daughter squirmed a little.

Lorelai was a smart woman, but she probably couldn’t imagine what Rory was implying could ever be true. Jess wasn’t getting anything from the back of Lorelai’s head. All he could do was meet Rory’s nervous gaze, give her an encouraging smile and nod that he hoped would help.

“Mom, I... well, Jess and I, we’re... we’re having a baby,” she said at last, trying for a smile, even though she knew an explosion was probably imminent.

“What?!”


	14. Chapter 13

“What?!”

Jess and Rory had been ready for an explosion when they told Lorelai they were having a baby. What they hadn’t been entirely ready for was Luke’s unexpected reaction from the hallway. Nobody even heard him come in, partly because of the intense conversation, and partly because the kids wouldn’t even have realised he was coming and going as he pleased. Right now he didn’t look pleased at all, and neither did Lorelai.

“You’re pregnant?” she checked with Rory, certain she just had some kind of seizure and imagined the part where her career-minded daughter of not-quite twenty just told her she was pregnant by her ex-boyfriend.

“I am,” Rory nodded once, looking panicked as her eyes went to Jess for help.

“You did this?!” Luke exploded, suddenly at his nephew’s side, smacking him across the shoulder to get his full attention.

“First, ow!” he complained, looking up at him. “And second, I didn’t do this. We did this,” he gestured between himself and where Rory was sat. “No, we didn’t plan it, but yes, we are keeping this child. We made our bed, we’ll lie in it.”

“Oh, you did a little more than make it and lie in it,” Lorelai muttered.

Jess bit his tongue until it almost bled. It was best if he dealt with Luke and let Rory talk to her mother. Unfortunately, it wasn’t that simple with them all in the one room and emotions running so terribly high. Leaving Rory didn’t feel like a good option, especially after he had promised her faithfully they would face this together. All Jess wanted to do right now was run, not from Rory or his responsibilities, but just out of this room to a place where he could actually breathe. The death glares from Lorelai and Luke were suffocating to say the least, and they were both going to hit full on rant mode before long.

“Jess, maybe you and Luke could go get some air while I talk to Mom?” said Rory with a look.

It was as if she read his mind, or maybe she just knew him well enough to figure he’d be just about ready to explode himself right now and that wouldn’t help anybody. He didn’t ask if she was sure, just gave her a look that said it for him. She nodded definitely and forced half a smile. This wasn’t easy on anybody, and they had sworn to face the parental figures together, but right now divide and conquer was looking like a better option given the turn things had taken.

Jess nodded his head, got up from the chair and came over to Rory. He never spared Lorelai or Luke a glance, just leaned down to kiss his girlfriend’s lips, his hand still at the side of her head when he spoke softly to her.

“We’re still in this together,” he promised her. “I’m not going further than the porch.”

“I know,” she agreed, the smile that came with those words just a little more genuine than it’s predecessor.

Jess led the way out of the front door then and Luke followed more out of instinct than a want to go. Rory was back and that was great, but pregnant by Jess? This was way too much to wrap his head around.

“I’m an idiot!” he declared the second he got outside.

His nephew looked confused but refused to enter into the madness until he had more information.

“I caused this, didn’t I? I encouraged you to pursue Rory, telling you I hoped it’d work out and now, because you couldn’t keep your grubby hands to yourself, look what happened!” he yelled all at Jess who chewed on his lip until the onslaught was over.

“Are you done trying to give yourself a coronary?” he asked then, just about as mad as his uncle with the way things were going. “For your information, Rory came looking for me,” he emphasised, pointing a finger into his own chest. “For the first couple of days she was staying in my apartment, in my bed, I was sleeping on the floor. I did not take advantage of her! I did not do any of this by myself!” he said definitely.

Luke took in a breath ready to yell some more when he realised he couldn’t do it. Jess was right, Rory had to have run to him, and without encouragement, it was the only thing that made sense. Plus the hurt in Jess’ eyes right now was killing Luke to look at. Tearing into the kid just wasn’t what he needed. He never wanted to come back to this place the last time, and the fact he was here now was for one of two reasons - because Rory wanted to and/or because he needed help, the latter of which Luke knew Jess would never admit to.

“Oh, Jess,” he sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t a better guardian, I’m sorry I immediately pinned all this on you, I should...”

“It’s fine,” his nephew told him. “Not like I expected anything else,” he said, turning away to lean on the porch rail.

Luke hated this. He hated knowing things were so screwed up, that Lorelai would be heart-broken and Rory would have to struggle. He hated most that he just laid all the blame at Jess’ door without a thought in his head when the guy was probably scared to death and just unwilling to admit it.

“How long have you known?” asked Luke then. “That you’re having a kid, I mean,” he clarified when Jess glanced at him.

“She’s almost three months now, but we only found out six weeks in,” he replied a smile coming to his lips unbidden. “And believe me, I know this is bad timing, for everybody, but I’m not walking away, not from Rory, and not from this kid. I’m not gonna be like Jimmy, Luke. I’m not!”

“I know you’re not,” Luke assured him, reaching to hug the boy that was trying so hard to be a man.

He hadn’t really expected Jess to allow himself to be hugged and yet he did. Just for a few moments, Luke was the father comforting a boy who was scared out of his mind, just needing to know that somebody was going to help him out.

“We didn’t come here for charity,” Jess clarified as they parted, pushing his hair off his face. “But New York got expensive and after I landed up in the hospital...”

“You were in the hospital? For what?” 

“I overdid things. Working,” he clarified. “Body gives out when you push that hard.”

Luke didn’t feel it was right to be proud of a person for working themselves into a hospital bed, but he kind of was. That showed dedication to Rory and this baby that was due in six months time. It showed some stupidity and bad judgement at the same time, but the dedication was what Luke chose to focus on right now.

Jess needed help. He didn’t want to have to say it out loud, but he did. There were a million cheaper places he and Rory could’ve settled in. They chose Stars Hollow because it came with a support network, with family and friends. Luke was glad they chose here.

“You remember last time you were here?” he asked rhetorically, because they both knew he did. “I told you then and I’ll say it again; I am always here, Jess. If you need anything, money, a roof over your head, just somebody to talk to, I’m here,” he promised.

“I know” his nephew nodded once. “Honestly? Right now all I need is the one thing I can’t have,” he smirked a little. “Had to give up the smokes for good when we realised Rory was pregnant.”

“Huh. That’s what it took to get you to give it up?” Luke smiled into his joke. “If only I’d known that three years ago!”

* * *

“It was so hard to think about coming home. I knew I’d disappointed you. I never should’ve done what I did with Dean, that was beyond stupid. Then when me and Jess got back together, I knew you never liked him. From there, it kinda snowballed. I wasn’t feeling well and things didn’t add up so I took a test but that said not pregnant. It was a relief, I guess, and yet weirdly sad. I can’t explain it, but we just carried on and... and then I passed out again and Jess took me to the hospital. That’s when we found out the store bought test was wrong or faulty or whatever it was.”

“But you still didn’t come home,” said Lorelai sadly after her daughter’s long and rambling explanation of things. “Were you so mad at me, Rory?”

“No! No, I wasn’t mad at you,” she promised. “I thought you’d be mad at me. I know this isn’t the life you wanted for me. You don’t like Jess, you wanted me to finish Yale and be a journalist...”

“Honey, I want you to finish Yale and be a journalist because that’s what you want,” her mother insisted. “Baby, I want you to do whatever you want to do, always. Hell, I can learn to get along with Jess if that’s what it takes, but you can’t run away from me like that again. No matter what we fight about, no matter how bad things get, please, please don’t run from me again. I’m so sorry if I made you feel like it was your only choice.”

“I’m sorry too,” Rory cried, the tears mostly unstoppable since they started a few minutes ago. “I did want Yale and a career, Mom, I really did. A part of me still does, and I know it’s not going to be the same. It’s going to be complicated now, but me and Jess have talked about it, we can make it work, we know we can. We might need a little help...” she confessed at which Lorelai smiled.

“You’ll get help,” she promised her faithfully. “Honey, if there’s one thing I’m not going to be in this situation it’s my own mother.”

“Ironically, you sound like Jess,” Rory chuckled a little through her tears. “He is so determined to be the very best father, nothing like Jimmy, or even Liz for that matter.”

“Well, that is something, I guess,” Lorelai considered, even if she wasn’t entirely convinced yet. “He’s still with you so far, that says something for Jess.”

“Wow,” the man himself said as he appeared with Luke right behind him. “That almost sounded like a compliment.”

“Not quite,” admitted Lorelai. “But it wasn’t an insult, so...”

Jess nodded once and headed straight to Rory’s side. He sat down on the arm of the couch next to her and put his arm around her shoulders. Lorelai watched the young couple as they leaned in to each other and shared a small smile. They were in love. She could see it as plain as day, more now than she ever could before when Rory and Jess dated. Maybe her daughter was right, maybe Jess had changed, grown up some. It made sense after everything that had happened, but there was still an awful lot to face, a lot more growing up to do in the next six months or more. Lorelai knew that better than anyone.

“You okay?” Luke said near her ear, crouching down by her seat to see her face.

“I’m thrilled that Rory’s home,” she smiled. “A little bowled over by the whole pregnant thing, but hey, this from the girl who got knocked up at sixteen so, who am I to judge?” she sighed.

“Mom...” Rory tried to cut in with more apologies and explanations, but Lorelai waved it all away.

“No, honestly, I’m fine” she assured her. “Honey, you have to know that even with your being older and Jess so determined to stick to you like crazy glue, this isn’t going to be easy.”

“We know” said Jess in reply, sparing Lorelai a rare smile.

The words she said were wacky as Gilmore-speak usually was, but the essence of her sentence meant a lot to him. She believed he was going to stick around, at least for now. That mattered, even though he wasn’t about to admit it.

“I know you do,” she nodded once. “I can’t pretend you’re my favourite person right now, Mariano,” she told him. “But I do know it takes two to tango, and this wasn’t all your fault. So, I’ll try if you will, to be... I don’t know, friends or something?”

“Deal,” he agreed, sensing the smile on Rory’s face as she squeezed his hand.

She just wanted everyone to get along. It was all she ever really wanted.

“Okay, so you two can stay here. Everything’s pretty much like you left it in your room,” she told Rory.

The young couple headed off to the bedroom then, Jess dragging the luggage along. Lorelai waited until they were gone, the door closed behind them, before she really broke down. Luke moved to sit by her on the couch and pulled her into his arms, resting his chin on the top of her head. This was too much to take in. Rory was home, with Jess in tow, and that was good news, but the pregnancy changed everything. Lorelai was over-joyed and heart-broken all at once, and all Luke could do was hold her until she was done crying out all the mixed up emotions.

* * *

“Y’know there was a time when all I wanted to do was be alone in this room with you,” said Jess with a nostalgic smile. “Some things don’t change, I guess...”

He stopped talking abruptly when he realised Rory didn’t seem to be listening. He dumped the bags and turned to look at her just staring fixedly at the bed. Just when he was going to ask what was wrong, she threw herself bodily towards it and started yanking at the covers.

“I need new bed clothes,” she said, as she continued to fight the comforter and sheets off the mattress. “New blankets, new pillows, everything!”

She was almost yelling, practically hysterical in her efforts to get all the bed clothes off. It took a minute for the reason to occur to Jess. The covers would almost definitely have been stripped off, washed, and replaced since the incident that Rory was remembering, but apparently that didn’t matter. She looked at this bed as it was made and she saw that day with Dean. She really didn’t like herself much for what she had done and Jess couldn’t blame her. Still, he couldn’t just stand by and watch her be so upset.

“Hey! Rory, come on!” he dragged her away from the bed and pulled her into his arms.

“I’m so sorry, Jess,” she cried into his shoulder, hot tears streaking down her face.

“It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay,” he promised, holding her tight. “He’s the past, Rory. It’s all the past. It doesn’t matter now.”

Of course, Jess was well aware that he was a part of Rory’s past too, and not a particularly happy part when all was said and done. The difference was, he planned on being her future too, the two of them and this baby they were having. No, it wasn’t going to be easy, but they’d make it. Jess was certain on that.

“Facing him is going to be weird, and horrible,” Rory lamented, still thinking of Dean apparently. “I don’t even know if he stayed with Lindsay. I don’t know anything right now.”

“Well, then, let me tell you what I know,” he said, lifting her chin on his finger. “I love you, Rory Gilmore. I love this kid we’re going to have even though it’s going to be six months before we meet him or her. And I’m willing to live with your mother just to be with you,” he smirked, making her giggle at his so-called sacrifice. “If all that isn’t enough to make you happy, well, I’ll try just about anything else, so name it.”

“What you’re doing is enough,” she said softly, her hand going to his cheek and then up into his hair. “I love you, Jess,” she told him.

Though he already knew her feelings, as well as she knew his, it didn’t hurt to hear it once in a while, a reminder that they really were as solid as they claimed. They both leaned in until their lips met, and nothing else really mattered of as long as they were here holding on to each other. Life wasn’t going to be easy, not even back home on Stars Hollow, but they could do this. Never were there two more determined people to make something work, or so in love in this moment.


	15. Chapter 14

Rory didn’t want to go out. She had been back in Stars Hollow for almost a week and so far she had refused to leave the Gilmore House for even a second. When Jess offered to go to the store for her, or to go with her to see Lane, she made excuses. She kept him inside with her, afraid as she was to face the denizens of her hometown, apparently. Lorelai had noticed, it was impossible for her not to do so. Luke had too, and Jess overhead a conversation between the older couple about it. He pretended that he didn’t know what they were talking about and he never mentioned it to Rory, but after days of not stirring out of the house he was starting to get cabin fever.

Jess had no particular love for anyone in this crazy town, except for his uncle and Rory, of course. He could happily avoid all the weirdoes and gossip in the whole place, but he knew it was impossible. Living with Lorelai was fine for now, but hand outs from her and Luke for the rest of their lives was not an option for Jess and Rory. He needed a job, and to find them an apartment if he could. That part might take a little longer and a lot of savings, but the job had to be sooner rather than later. What they had left over from New York wasn’t going to last long, not with a baby to think of on top of everything else.

“So, I’m headed out to the town meeting,” said Lorelai as she appeared in the living room. “You guys okay?” she asked Rory and Jess who were curled up together on the couch.

“Hey, maybe we could go with your Mom,” he suggested to her.

“What?” his girlfriend reacted with evident surprise. “You? You want to go to a town meeting? You hate everybody in town!” she declared.

“I don’t hate them,” he insisted, but even Jess knew he was fighting a losing battle on this one.

Town meetings always sucked, but anything was better than staying in every day and every night. He promised to play this whole thing Rory’s way, concerned as he was about upsetting her, especially now she was pregnant. He kept on biting his tongue, only pushing the point about going out when she seemed to be considering it anyway, or when Lorelai brought it up. So far, no good.

“Okay, well, I’m gonna go,” Lorelai repeated. “If you wanna swing by later, that’d be cool,” she smiled and then left.

“Not gonna happen,” Rory muttered, curling further into Jess’ embrace.

The moment didn’t last long as he all but leapt up from the couch and stalked off into the kitchen.

“Jess?” she called after him, truly confused apparently.

Rory rushed after her boyfriend and found him staring into the mostly empty refrigerator as if hoping to find the answer to life, the universe and everything in there. Unlikely since it hardly even contained edible food most of the time.

“What’s going on?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking that question?” he asked, swinging around fast and slamming the fridge door as he did so. “What is going on, Rory? We needed to come back here, we both knew it, and I actually thought a larger part of you would be pleased. I mean you made things up with Lorelai, you and me are supposed to be solid as a rock, everything is good.”

“It is good,” she agreed too softly. “It’s not going to be easy, but we’re good, aren’t we?”

“I don’t know,” shrugged Jess, throwing his hands up in the air for good measure. “I just, I don’t get this whole self-imposed house arrest thing,” he told her. “You don’t want to leave the house, and every time I try, you make some excuse for me to stay. It’s been days, Rory. Five to be exact, and I’m going a little crazy here. What is going on?”

“I don’t want to face them, okay?” she said suddenly and more loudly than Jess had quite expected.

Rory could yell with the best of them when she got angry or upset, but she had been muttering and mumbling up to this point so it came as quite a shock. Jess practically jumped with the surprise of her tone, though the words were understandable enough, they just required a little further explanation.

“I figured,” he nodded once, “but who exactly? And why? I mean, is it me?” he checked. “Is it too embarrassing or shameful to admit we’re back together?”

“No! Don’t be ridiculous!” she yelled at him for being so dumb. “I love you and I am not ashamed of that. I just... Don’t you understand how hard it’s going to be? To have everybody stare at us and judge us? They all expected so much from me, Jess. I was supposed to be this great example and... and now...”

“Now you’re back with me, pregnant, and a drop out,” he said succinctly, not even meaning to sound cruel, just factual.

The pain crossing Rory’s face made his heart ache too. Sometimes Jess opened his mouth without engaging brain, mostly when he felt cornered or injured in some way. Now, like so many times before, he regretted thoughtless words just as soon as they were spoken.

“Look, Rory, I’m sorry,” he apologised, leaning towards her across the kitchen table that stood between them. “I know it’s different for you. Me? I’m used to people, especially people in this town, looking at me like I’m something they stepped in. They don’t expect anything from me, so I can’t be a disappointment, y’know? But anybody who cares about you, really cares, they’re gonna be supportive and understanding. Anybody who’s not? Well, between me and your Mom, plus Luke besides, I think we can deal,” he promised her with a half a smile that he couldn’t help.

He was right and Rory knew it. They were family now, all four of them. Jess would stand up for her, as well as her mother and Luke. Plus, Rory could stand up for herself if she had a mind to, and she should, she knew. No matter what anyone in town thought of her, whatever their judgemental thoughts might be, she had made her choices. Getting pregnant hadn’t been planned, but she was dealing with it, she and Jess were standing strong together, and it was dumb to hide away after everything they had already been through. Jess was right, anybody who cared would stand by them, and those that didn’t could just go to hell. Within a moment, Rory suddenly felt empowered.

“Okay,” she said, turning towards the bedroom.

“Okay? Okay, what?” checked Jess, only mildly surprised to see her return to his sight with her coat over one arm and his leather jacket in her other hand.

“Okay, let’s go,” she replied firmly, tossing his jacket in his general direction then shoving her arms into her own sleeves. “Tonight, we face the town. Tomorrow, we go to Friday Night Dinner with my grandparents. People need to know the truth, and I’d rather be the one to tell them than have the gossips spread lies around.”

Jess was floored enough by the town meeting attendance, he was doubly shocked by Rory’s resolution to face her grandparents too. She had sworn Lorelai to secrecy about their return, even from Emily and Richard. Jess was sure she had only agreed because she was afraid of Rory deciding to run again or just causing another rift. Right now it wasn’t worth adding more drama to the existing pile.

“Come on!” Rory pressed when Jess just stood staring at her for a long moment, leather jacket still clasped in his hands where she had thrown it.

She was the most incredible woman. Every time he thought he had her figured, she surprised him, even now after everything. Pulling on his jacket he walked around the table and took a hold of her around the waist, pulling her close.

“You’re a freak, Rory Gilmore,” he smirked, every word affectionate in spite of what they could mean in other circumstances. “You know that, don’t you?”

“Of course,” she shrugged. “I wouldn’t be with you if I weren’t,” she smiled back at him, happy enough when he leaned in for a kiss.

Next minute they were headed out the front door hand in hand, ready to face their public. The cool night air hit Rory and she looked down at her stomach protruding quite obviously from her skinny frame through her too-tight T-shirt. Everyone was going to know without any kind of announcement being made. She had Jess’ hand in hers and her bump on display. They were headed for a town meeting, it didn’t get more obvious than this.

“You okay?” her boyfriend asked her as they crossed the street and headed for Miss Patty’s studio that doubled as the town hall on meeting nights.

“Sure,” Rory nodded and smiled. “More than okay,” she promised, squeezing his hand and glad to feel Jess squeeze back.

It was all going to be fine. If Rory could just convince her jangling nerves and shaking body of that, that’d be great.

* * *

“Why’d I let you drag me here?” asked Luke, squirming in his seat next to Lorelai. “And why do you keep looking back at the door like that?” he added when she did so one more time.

“You let me drag you here because you love me,” she said matter of factly. “And I'm looking for the kids,” she whispered the last part. “I was hoping maybe Rory would finally leave the house tonight, but...”

She wasn’t even done with her sentence when Taylor banged the gavel, making her jump. He called the meeting to order at the same moment the doors opened again. Lorelai turned around on instinct to see who was there. Lo and behold, Rory and Jess walked in together, hand in hand. An audible gasp went around the room.

Lorelai felt a smile curve her lips, even though she knew the entire town was currently discussing her daughter. It didn’t matter, she was here, Jess too, and they were facing everybody. It was about time.

“Hey, you two,” she said, standing up. “Right over here,” she gestured for them to come join her and Luke.

“What is the meaning of this?” asked Taylor loudly before Rory and Jess ever made it to their seats.

Though Luke stood to answer, and angrily, it was Jess that got there first.

“What’s the matter, Taylor? Been missing me?” he asked smartly, letting go of Rory’s hand as he walked down the aisle towards the selectman. “Well, now I’m back, planning to stay actually. That okay with you?”

“You and Rory back together, sugar?” asked Babette from the side.

“Yes, we are,” he replied, though his angry gaze remained on a floundering Taylor. “So if there are any more questions, objections, or comments, let’s get ‘em out of the way, right now,” he said definitely.

“Jess,” said Rory, suddenly behind him and pulling on his sleeve. “It’s okay, you don’t have to protect me.”

“I know,” he said, his arm going around her shoulders as he pulled her to his side and finally let his gaze leave Taylor’s own. “But I’m not having anybody here make you feel bad, nobody,” he said definitely, turning to face the assembled crowd. “So, any questions? Comments? C’mon, Taylor has a schedule to follow, we’re already holding him up.”

“Rory is pregnant?” Gypsy checked, sure she was right and yet since she was being asked to get all questions done now, she may as well ask.

“I am,” the young woman herself confirmed. 

It was only then she noticed Dean in the far corner. He got up very suddenly and stared intently at Rory. She felt Jess move at her side, ready to lunge at her ex, but she put a hand to his chest to hold him back.

“Jess and I are back together, we’re having a baby together, and we’ll be staying in Stars Hollow, at least for now,” she explained with as much volume and confidence as she could muster. “I’m sorry if anybody thinks I let them down or that we did something wrong, but we don’t feel that way. This baby wasn’t planned, but we’re happy about it. We’re going to live our lives here for the forseeable future and I want them to be happy. I guess it’s up to all of you if you’re supportive or not, but we’re going to be happy no matter what you all think or say.”

Jess had never been more proud of her and proved it by the way he squeezed her to him and kissed her temple then. This was a lot for her, to stand up in front of all these people that looked at her with such adoration for so many years, and admit she wasn’t quite perfect. She was ruining her angelic reputation. Dating him before hadn’t done her much good, but being pregnant and dropping out of college, at least temporarily, it wouldn’t sit well with those who put her on a pedestal for years.

“Congratulations, honey,” said Miss Patty from behind them, the couple wheeling around as one to acknowledge her kindness. “You two always made such a cute couple,” she winked.

“Thanks, Patty,” Rory replied gratefully.

“Yeah, congrats, sugar,” Babette chimed in,

Rory was surprised but pleasantly so, by how many people wanted to congratulate her and Jess, to tell them they were happy to have them back together and all. Some of it was probably lies, Jess thought so, but he’d take it for now. Rory was smiling rather than crying, that was all that mattered to him.

Out of the corner of his eye, Jess noticed Forester hurry from the room. A blond went after him, who he had to assume was Lindsay, though she moved so fast it was hard to tell. They were somebody else’s problem for another day.

“Okay, okay, can we all please retake our seats now and discuss some actual town business?” Taylor insisted, making Rory laugh.

All the drama and confusion, all the worry about how it would be when she and Jess faced the town, but things weren’t so different to before. Taylor was banging his gavel and everyone was complaining about how anal he could be, as Rory and Jess finally sat down beside Lorelai and Luke. It was kind of like old times as Rory leaned into her boyfriend's embrace and smiled across at her Mom. The worst was over, or rather half of the worst. There was still the grandparents to face, and that was not going to be pretty. Rory tried to put that out of her mind for now and concentrate on the meeting.


	16. Chapter 16

“So,” said Lorelai, standing slightly behind Rory and Jess outside the grandparents’ house.

“Yeah, so,” her daughter echoed.

“So,” said Jess, completing the set.

“Well, we’re officially ridiculous,” remarked Lorelai, waiting just a moment before pushing herself in between the kids and around the building to the pool house.

Behind her, Jess instinctively reached for Rory’s hand and laced their fingers together as they walked, even though he never looked her way at all. It made her smile. He was still here, he had her back, or her hand, whatever. He was willing to face her grandparents, who were obviously not going to be happy, and since grandma and grandpa were still apart, it meant going through everything twice. 

“Ah, Lorelai,” her father greeted her with an awkward smile as the valet let her in. “So glad you could come.”

“And not alone,” she commented with her own wobbly grin.

Of course the moment Richard realised his granddaughter was there he reacted with joy, glad to have Rory fly into his arms for a big hug. Jess loitered awkwardly by Lorelai, knowing the happiness was probably not going to last very long. Lorelai felt the need to pat him on the shoulder in some sort of comfort and encouragement at the same time. Her Dad might actually go a little easier on the young couple, it was Emily they really had to worry about. Lorelai hadn’t been to dinner every Friday since Rory ran away. She wasn’t obliged to and she couldn’t handle all the questions and digs about her parenting skills from her mother more than her father. Still, she had put in an appearance on a semi-regular basis just to keep her parents in the loop, and in the hopes of helping them reconcile their marriage, however impossible a task it seemed. So far, Dad was still in the pool house, and Mom was frequently in a worse mood than ever.

“Oh, my dear,” said Richard as he held onto Rory still. “We’ve all been so worried about you, it’s so wonderful to have you home.”

“I missed you, grandpa,” she told him honestly, pulling back to look at him. “I’m sorry if I made you worry, I never meant to.”

“You’re back now,” he told her with shake of his head, dismissing all her concerns.

“And not alone,” Lorelai threw in a second time, quite ready for the look that crossed her father’s face when he glanced up and saw Jess stood beside her.

“Hello,” he nodded at the boy. “And who might this be?”

“Oh, grandpa, this is Jess,” Rory introduced. “Jess Mariano, my grandfather, Richard Gilmore.”

“A pleasure, sir,” said Jess politely, holding out a hand to shake.

Richard took the offer, but still looked obviously confused.

“Grandpa, Jess is... well, he’s my boyfriend. You never met him when we dated before because the one time he came to dinner you were out of town, but we got back together recently,” she explained in that rambling way only a Gilmore could, as she returned to Jess’ side and took a hold of his hand.

“This is the boy you ran away with?” asked Richard, eyes narrowing,

“No, but this is the man she ran to,” Lorelai corrected him - neither Jess nor Rory were sure what to think about her changing the word ‘boy’ to ‘man’ in her version, and right now didn’t seem like the time to ask. “Dad, please, just stay calm while Rory gives you the whole story, okay?” she urged him when he started to look ready for a fight.

“Very well,” he agreed, ushering the others toward the couch. “Won’t you all sit down? Robert, drinks please,” he said to the valet who duly moved to fetch the usual scotch for his boss, martini for Lorelai, plus sodas for the young people.

“Okay,” said Rory when they were all seated, her between her mom and Jess on the couch, and grandpa in the chair opposite. “Well, I’m back, and Jess came with me. We’ve been living in New York but now we’re going to be staying in Stars Hollow, at least for now, because... well, we’re having a baby,” she said almost too quietly.

Lorelai watched her father intently. She knew how much this was going to hurt him, because she remembered when she had to make this particular announcement herself. It broke both her parents hearts when they found out she was pregnant with Rory. Now they doted on their granddaughter instead. Finding out she had reached a similar bump in the road of life, Lorelai really wasn’t sure how this was going to go.

Taking his scotch from Robert’s tray, Richard gulped down a long swig and looked as if he were desperately trying to steady his nerves. When he was sure he could speak without yelling, crying, or similar, he did so.

“I take it this wasn’t a planned pregnancy?” he checked.

“No, it wasn’t,” Rory admitted, glad of Jess’ hand around her own as she explained. “It was an accident, but we’re not taking an easy way out of this. We made the baby and we’re going to raise it the best we can, just like Mom did with me.”

“Indeed,” her grandpa nodded once. “And do you have anything to say, young man?” he asked Jess then.

“Not much,” he admitted with a shrug. “Everything Rory just told you is true and counts for both of us. Other than that, I don’t know what I can say that you’d wanna hear, except for the fact that I love your granddaughter, I have on some level from the first day I met her, and I can’t imagine that ever changing.”

Richard was at least impressed by the conviction with which Jess spoke, and the sincerity that seemed to flow through every word. He never met the boy before, but he seemed more confident and sure of his affections for Rory than the boyfriend Richard had met, Dean somebody. That boy had been flaky and unsuitable. Whilst Richard would still prefer that Rory be married before she had children and to someone of more obvious breeding, he had to admit things could be worse. This Jess was willing to stand by Rory and not just because he had to. If he genuinely loved her, what more could a caring grandfather want for his granddaughter?

“Then I suppose congratulations are in order,” he smiled slightly. “It is not the plan I would’ve made for you, Rory, nor the plan I know you made for yourself, but life has a habit of shifting on a person, and we make the best we can of whatever situation befalls us. We are Gilmores, and that is what we do.”

“Thank you, grandpa,” Rory smiled herself, blinking hard so the tears wouldn’t fall.

“Yeah, thanks, Dad,” Lorelai agreed, feeling stupidly emotional herself.

That had gone much better than any of them could have suspected, but there was still Emily to face yet.

* * *

“Round two,” said Jess, feeling like a bell should be ringing to signal it.

Rory squeezed his hand and tried for a smile, knowing this was as tough on him as it was on her. Her grandpa had been pretty reasonable, quiet and strange, but reasonable. There was no way Richard Gilmore was going to be ecstatically happy about his nineteen year old granddaughter being pregnant, unmarried, and dropping out of Yale at least temporarily, but he didn’t yell or try to lay down the law. Leave that to his estranged wife, because all three of them just knew Emily was going to flip her lid. She already disliked Jess, she hated that Rory ran away, and she kept on blaming Lorelai for her daughter’s disappearance, plus she used every opportunity to be mad at Richard.

“This is going to be a train-wreck,” Lorelai said quietly to Rory as they headed back around to the front door of the house. “I’m sorry, honey, I will try and make it easier on you but...”

“It’s okay,” her daughter assured her. “I know what grandma can be like, but I can be tough too, when I have to.”

Lorelai smiled at her baby’s bravery and then glanced at Jess.

“Brace yourself, Mariano,” she warned him. “You’re about to become Public Enemy No. 1 on Emily Gilmore’s hit list.”

“I’ve been in worse places,” he shrugged, just a hint of that familiar smirk getting through the abject fear.

Lorelai was almost proud of him as she turned back to the door and rapped on the wood. The maid answered and all three trooped inside. Emily appeared as if from nowhere, already bawling Lorelai out for spending too long on drinks with her father when dinner was waiting. She stopped mid-sentence when she suddenly realised Rory and her hoodlum ex were trailing in behind Lorelai. Emily looked like she was going to smile at first, and then her eyes trailed down Rory’s body. In the dress she was wearing, it wasn’t impossible to tell she was pregnant, but you kind of had to be looking for it. Apparently that wasn’t true when Emily Gilmore was the one looking.

“Oh my God!” she gasped, hands shooting up to her cheeks. “You’re pregnant!”

“Geez, that’s impressive,” said Lorelai without thinking. “I mean, okay, yes, Rory is pregnant, but Mom...” she began, reaching out to Emily, but she backed up a step.

“Lorelai, how could you let this happen?!” she bellowed. “And with that?!” she said, pointing a finger at Jess as her lip curled in disgust.

“Hey, you can’t talk about him that way!” Rory cut in, practically stomping her foot with frustration. “Grandma, I know you and Jess didn’t get off to the best start, and I get that you’re shocked and disappointed, but this is the man I love, the father of my child, and...”

“Rory, it’s okay,” he tried to calm her down, but she wasn’t having any of it.

“No, Jess, it’s not okay”, she shook her head definitely. “She can’t talk to you that way. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Emily snorted loudly at that comment.

“What we did, we did together!” Rory clarified. “Maybe it’s not perfect timing or whatever, we know that better than anybody, but you are not going to judge me and make me feel like I committed the worst crime in the world. You’re not going to do to me what you did to my mom!”

With that, Rory turned and stormed towards the door, her hand in Jess’ own meaning he followed by pure momentum. The smile on his face now was real enough, just because he never imagined this would happen, and though he had barely seen Emily’s expression before he was dragged away, he loved the shock of it all. He knew she wouldn’t be thrilled, but if she had just given Rory a chance to explain, if she had given anybody a chance in any way before she started tearing lumps out of people, things might have been okay. Of course, Jess’ smile didn’t last long when they slammed out onto the drive way and he realised how very upset Rory was.

“Hey,” he reached for her shoulders and turned her into his embrace. “C’mon, take a breath. It’s not good for you or that kid of ours to be this stressed out.”

“She stresses me out!” Rory snapped. “I can’t believe she wouldn’t listen, not even for a minute, she just stated judging and... and why does she have to be that way, Jess?” she asked him desperately.

“I don’t know,” he shook his head, at a loss on how to help her.

He would love to rag on Emily Gilmore, he could verbally tear her apart right now, behind her back or to her face, it really didn’t bother him, but he wouldn’t do it. She was Rory’s grandmother, and so she had the choice what was said about her. Jess didn’t have that right and he wouldn’t presume to try and gain it. All he could do right now was hold Rory close and hug her until she calmed down some.

“She’ll probably come around,” he said softly, rubbing her back. “I guess she gets mad because she loves you.”

He really didn’t know what else to say, and had never been so glad to see Lorelai as he was when she suddenly appeared at his side. Her hand went to Rory’s shoulder and she sighed.

“Oh, kid. I’m sorry,” she apologised, presumably on her own mother’s behalf.

Rory came out of Jess’ arms and dived into her Mom’s embrace instead. He didn’t mind. Nobody understood this situation like Lorelai, especially when it came to facing Emily and Richard. 

“For what it’s worth, I told her you were right. She had no place talking to you like that, either of you,” she said seriously, looking pointedly at Jess.

He nodded once, a kind of affirmation that he heard her and understood, maybe even that he appreciated it in some small way. They were soon all getting in the car to go home, Lorelai driving the Jeep, Rory curled up against Jess in the back, their joined hands at her slightly swollen belly where their baby resided.

* * *

“So, we could stop by Luke’s for food,” Lorelai suggested as she pulled onto the main street of Stars Hollow. “He wanted to know how things went with the Gilmores anyway.”

“I can’t talk about it anymore tonight” said Rory, adjusting her head on Jess’ shoulder.

“You wanna get out and walk back while your Mom talks to Luke?” he asked, dropping a kiss into her hair. “Fresh air might help you feel better?”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” she smiled up at him.

Lorelai saw them share a look of love from her rear-view mirror and smiled herself. She may not like Jess very much, and there was no way she was genuinely happy that her kid was having a baby of her own right now, but there was not a doubt in her head that Rory and Jess were in love. She really hoped they made it. Something told her there was a good chance, even if she knew it was crazy to think so.

They all got out of the car outside the diner. Rory and Jess, with their arms wrapped around each other, headed for the house, whilst Lorelai dropped in to see Luke and pick up food. Neither of the young couple felt the need to talk. It was just a thing with them, they could spend hours together never saying a word, and it was never awkward. It had been true since they first met, long before they dated. Rory loved the comfortable silence she could only share with Jess. Unfortunately, it was quickly shattered as they ran across the last person either of them wanted to see.

“Oh, no,” she groaned as she realised Dean was coming towards them. “I really don’t need this tonight.”

“Let me handle it,” said Jess as Forester got ever closer and was evidentially ready for a fight. “Before you say anything, don’t!”

“You don’t come back here telling me what to do, Jess!” Dean yelled back at him. “What? It’s not enough that you ruined Rory’s life, you think you can come here and throw your weight around with the rest of the town too?”

Jess laughed a hollow humourless laugh.

“I ruined her life?” he checked, barely hearing Rory over the angry rushing of blood in his ears when she begged him to let it go. “She ran away from here because of you! Because you took advantage of her and made her your piece on the side, you asshole!”

“What do you know about it?” asked Dean crossly. “I love Rory, I always have, and she has always loved me too!”

“If you loved her you wouldn’t’ve put her in the position you did, and if she still loved you, why is she with me, huh?” he asked just as angry. “Why is she pregnant with my baby?!”

“How do you know it’s yours?” asked Dean smartly.

That was when Rory cut in.

“I know,” she said firmly. “The hospital confirmed how far along I am and this can only be Jess’ baby,” she told Dean definitely. “Now, go home to your wife, Dean, and leave us alone!”

She made to storm past him and Jess happily followed. Apparently, Forester wasn’t quite done.

“He won’t make you happy, Rory!” he called behind them. “He can’t. Just like Lindsay can’t make me happy. We belong together, you know we do!”

Jess had been biting his lip and balling his fists this whole time, but at that remark he just lost it. He swung around so fast and Dean just wasn’t ready. The punch to his face sent him flying sideways, and when he got stable again he had nobody to hit back. Rory had shoved Jess away and put herself in his place, knowing that for all Dean’s stupidity tonight, he was not going to try to get past her, especially not in her condition.

“I’m sorry if you’re not happy,” she told a bloody nosed Dean. “But I am. I’m happier with Jess than I could ever be with you. Now, go home, Dean!” she told him a second time, turning to do the same herself.

Jess held back everything he would like to throw at Forester, every verbal barb, every subsequent punch. Rory had said what needed to be said, and it was done. Jess put his arm back around Rory and pulled her close as she had been before the confrontation had begun. Her arm went around his waist and her head rested back on his shoulder. All was right with the world as they headed home in their comfortable silence once again.


	17. Chapter 16

“Rory!” Lane greeted her with the biggest smile and a giant hug to match.

“Hey, Lane,” she almost cried as she hugged her friend back. “God, I missed you so much! I'm so sorry I didn't call you or anything. Things just got crazy...”

“Hey, it's fine,” her best friend assured her as they pulled out of their hug and she led Rory inside. “You’re had a lot going on, I get it.”

They had seen each other only briefly since Rory and Jess got back to Stars Hollow. Even after her announcement at the town meeting that they were together and having a baby, Rory had been wary about putting herself in a position where people could judge her. She was so focused on telling the people that needed to be told and being comfortable in her home town again, plus Lane was working a lot, there just hadn’t been time to meet up and have the very long talk she felt her best friend was owed. Now Rory was here and never more glad to be so. She really had missed Lane so much.

“Wow, look at you,” she said, standing back and observing the curve of Rory's body that was never there before, as well as how thin the rest of her looked. “A baby, that's just... wow.”

“It really is,” she giggled nervously, pushing her hair behind her ear. “I feel so overwhelmed by it still, and then other times it doesn’t seem such a big deal. That's weird, right?”

“I don’t know,” Lane shrugged. “I haven't even had sex yet so babies is way, way in the future for me,” she said, waving her hand off into that distant land she spoke of. “Of course, that was the plan for you too so...”

“Yeah, well, plans change,” Rory told her philosophically as they walked through to Lane's bedroom and sat down together on the bed. “Honestly, when I left here all I knew was that I had to go see Jess. Beyond that, I had no idea what would happen, but I did always intend to be back here for Yale and everything.”

“So what happens with that now? Yale, I mean?”

“Well, I talked to administration. I'm taking this year off, and then hopefully we'll have figured things out so I can go back and complete my courses. It's not going to be easy, but Jess is great, my Mom and Luke too. They're all so determined to help. I’m not entirely sure I deserve it,” she said guiltily, eyes on her fingers as she pulled at loose threads in the comforter.

“Of course you deserve it,” said Lane definitely. “You’re not some terrible person or anything. Things got rough so you left for a while, and sure, getting pregnant wasn’t a plan, but you’re okay. You’re human, Rory, just like the rest of us.”

“Did I mention the part where I missed you?” she smiled across at her best friend. “And that just about every little thing makes me emotional right now,” she sniffled, glad of the box of tissue Lane quickly passed her from the night stand.

“That’s part of pregnancy, from what I hear anyway,” she assured her. “So, have you seen Dean since you got back? I mean, last I heard you and he had… done the deed,” she said awkwardly. “Clearly you regretted it later.”

“Oh boy, did I!” Rory admitted, blowing her nose hard. “I thought it was the right thing, to be with Dean. He was my first love. I guess I wasn’t smart enough to realise that first doesn’t always mean true,” she shook her head. “How stupid was I, Lane? He’s married and I just… Even if he weren’t, I should’ve realised what a mistake I was making.”

“Well, it’s not always easy. I mean, and don’t take this the wrong way, but when you were with Jess, and after he left too, you kind’ve did a lot of Dean comparisons,” she explained awkwardly, really not wanting to upset her friend any more than she already was. “I didn’t like to say it at the time, but don’t you think that was a little unfair?”

“I do now,” Rory admitted. “I don’t know, Lane, I think I was just hurting after Jess left and comforting myself with the fact that at least I picked one good boyfriend before him. I was such an idiot. I should’ve known Jess had reasons for not talking to me, and I know one of them was because I didn’t treat him like I should have. I never let myself trust him back then, I always… I always compared him to Dean, I did,” she admitted sadly. “Now I make the same comparisons and Jess wins every time.”

“Sounds like he really stepped up when the pregnant thing happened,” Lane smiled. “No offence to Jess, but I wouldn’t exactly have bet on that.”

“It makes sense when you know him like I do,” Rory told her with a dreamy sort of a smile. “He’s going to be the best father, Lane. Nobody was ever more determined to be the ultimate parent. I think it’s because his Dad left when he was a baby and his Mom was always such a flake. Jess wants to be different. He wants our baby to have everything he didn’t.”

“That’s sweet,” her friend agreed, “and I’m glad for you. I mean, I know your Mom coped alone, and I’m sure you could’ve handled it if you had to, but it’s definitely better that Jess is sticking around.”

“Agreed,” Rory smiled. “I can’t believe we were both so stupid before, just letting everything fall apart. We belong together, Lane, I know we do, and now there’s going to be a kid... it’s definitely scary, but I am so stupidly happy at the same time."

“Then I’m happy for you,” her best friend promised. “Y'know, whatever else happened with Jess before, I never doubetd that he loved you. Eveybody could see it then, and it's even more obvious now," she smiled. "So, I guess your Mom and Luke will help out with the whole accommodation thing?”

“Yes, we’re staying with Mom for now, and Luke is giving Jess all the shifts he can at the diner to make extra cash. He’s working for WalMart too, which I know he doesn’t exactly love, but it pays pretty well if he takes the shifts nobody else wants,” she shrugged. “We knew it was never going to be easy, but it feels so good to be back in Stars Hollow. New York was great in it’s way, but... well, there’s no substitute for family and best friends,” she smiled, tears once again forming in her eyes. “Oh my God, stupid hormones!” she complained, wiping her face with more tissue. “Please, tell me what’s been happening with you. Something that’s not going to make me bawl like a baby.”

Lane wasn’t sure what to say for the best. She had plenty to tell, and she doubted any of it was enough to make Rory cry, which was a good thing.

“Well, the band is good, living with the guys is fine, and Mama Kim even comes to visit once in a while now,” she explained. “The only thing that’s even remotely rough for me right now is... well, Zach.”

“Zach?” echoed Rory. “But you just said living with the guys was fine? Is it not fine?” she checked.

“No, it is. The living with is all fine, but... well, Zach has a lot of girls over and lately I just...” she floundered, looking down at her own fingers playing with the fringe on the comforter. “I think maybe I’m a little, sort of, maybe jealous,” she admitted awkwardly.

Rory’s eyes grew wide at that revelation.

“You like Zach?” she gasped, not really sure how else to react.

“I really think I do,” her best friend nodded, before both burst into fits of girlish giggling.

As Lane waxed lyrical on how she had come to realise that Zach Van Gerbig was so much more than just a guy in her band at this point, Rory listened with rapt attention and a genuine smile on her lips. The fact was that as much as she was happy with her life as it was now and felt she could cope admirably with the whole pregnancy thing, it was nice to be the teenage girl she had once been, just for an hour, before reality crept back in.

* * *

Jess wasn’t sure exactly what he was finding to smile about as he hurried from the diner back to the Gilmore house. It wasn’t the fact he needed to go home and change because thanks to Kirk he had half a glass of iced tea down the front of his shirt. It couldn’t be because he was having a great day because he had been working his ass off since the early hours, as per usual. Jess supposed it was just being back in this fruit-loop town, because in spite of the fact it was like an asylum much of the time, it was home.

That made no sense, and Jess knew it. He had been born and raised in New York City and returned to that place when he left Stars Hollow. Adding up all the time he had lived with his Uncle Luke, the total came out at barely eighteen months, which was a tiny percentage of his entire almost-twenty years of life, but this was still home. The only people that truly mattered to him lived here, like Rory and his unborn baby, and Luke too. It was oddly comfortable to be amongst people and places he knew, and he sure didn’t have to worry as much about crime, expenses, and such as he did in NYC.

The house came into sight and Jess hurried up the porch steps, letting himself inside. Nobody was supposed to be home. He knew for a fact Rory was spending the day with Lane, and Lorelai would be working on her new inn as she did every day. Jess had no problem with pulling his shirt off over his head on the way to the bedroom, and only knew it was an issue when he passed through the kitchen and heard a gasp.

“Oh, for the love of...!” Lorelai exclaimed, quickly turning her back to save her from seeing any more half-naked Jess.

“Ah, geez!” he groaned, hurrying into Rory’s room.

Technically, it was his room too now, at least for the time being, but Jess wasn’t used to that yet. He located a clean shirt and pulled it on fast, buttoning it the whole way up before he dared to step out into the hallway again. Lorelai was still there, sat at the kitchen table, looking quite possibly as awkward as he felt.

“Sorry,” he muttered.

“It’s okay. I mean, you startled me but...” Lorelai waved a hand to dismiss the whole topic as unimportant, deciding at the last that to tell the guy she could see now what had Rory so besotted would only make matters worse. “Er, Jess, could you maybe sit down for a sec?” she asked then, even as he sidled towards the exit.

“Luke’s expecting me back at the diner.”

“He’ll survive,” she told him with a smile. “And hey, I have pull. I’ll tell him it was my fault you got held up. Please, Jess?” she urged him when he still looked ready to run.

The fact was, she knew why he was so uncertain. Lorelai and Jess had never really gotten along, and now he had got Rory pregnant, she had every reason to be mad at him. She had told him she wouldn’t be that person, wouldn’t judge him anymore harshly than Rory since she knew full well it took two to make a baby. Besides, Lorelai was more determined than ever not to be her own mother in this situation.

Jess gave in and took a seat opposite Lorelai at the table. He wasn’t sure whether to expect her to yell at him, warn him to stick around, or encourage him to get out and leave the whole family alone. It was the unknown that bothered him, and one of many reasons why he had made a point of not being left alone with Lorelai up to now.

“So,” she began at last. “I know you don’t like me very much...”

“I never said that,” he interrupted, completely defensive, and yet Lorelai smiled.

“No, but it’s a vibe I get. I walk in a room and you pretty much evaporate unless Rory or Luke are already there.”

“It’s your house,” he shrugged, leaning back in his seat and concentrating on his own hands than her. “I figured you’d like to see as little of me as possible.”

“Well, once upon a time, that would’ve been true,” Lorelai admitted thoughtfully. “Y’know the first real conversation we had actually went pretty well.”

Jess remembered, at this very kitchen table in fact, as Lorelai offered him leftover Chinese, quizzing him on school and his thoughts on the town. It had actually been okay, until Rory walked in looking for the bracelet Jess knew he had in his pocket this whole time. That screwed everything up and seemed to cement Lorelai’s bad opinion of the town hoodlum forever.

“Sometimes you’re a lot like Rory,” he smirked slightly. “Or she’s a lot like you, I guess.”

“Uh-huh,” Lorelai nodded her agreement. “And you know you’re a lot like me too,” she told him, at which Jess quirked an eyebrow. “And I’m not just talking about the baby thing either. See, you and me, we feel our parents don’t understand us, didn’t do what they should when we were growing up, y’know? And when there’s trouble or anything serious going on, we bottle, we run, or we lash out - fight or flight, baby, that’s us. But what’s also true, about you and me, is that when it comes to people we love, especially our kids, we stick at it,” she said definitely, pushing her finger into the table top to make her point more firm. “We make promises and we keep them, come hell or high water or Emily Gilmore,” she smiled.

Jess smiled too, he just couldn’t help it. He shifted to sit forward in his chair, arms along the edge of the table.

“Huh. You really believe me when I say I love Rory,” he said, watching her face carefully. “When I tell you that I’m definitely sticking around, you’re not doubting me this time.”

It wasn’t a question but a statement of fact. He could already see that Lorelai meant exactly what she was saying. She believed in him. People didn’t really do that, only Rory and Luke so far, and Lorelai was maybe the last person Jess expected to be adding to the list.

“I really believe you,” she promised anyway, meeting his eyes with a purpose. “Stood up for you with Richard and Emily, didn’t I?”

Jess smirked at that, still surprised by both Lorelai’s attitude and Rory’s outburst at the Gilmore mansion on Friday.

“Yeah, thanks for that by the way,” he said, knowing full well it should’ve been said sooner, but maybe that didn’t matter right now.

“No problem, kid.... man, person, whatever,” Lorelai gave in on trying to use the correct pronoun, waving away such worries with her hand as she got up and moved towards the coffee machine. “Jess, I know I was hard on you before, but when your kid comes along, and especially when he or she gets to be a teenager, you’ll understand why, I swear,” she explained as she poured herself and Jess both a healthy cup full of Java. “Still, I was probably a little hypocritical. See, as many traits as you share with me, you also have kind of a Christopher vibe sometimes too, and as you keeny observed, with me and Rory it’s ‘like mother, like daughter’ more often than it’s not,” she said, putting a steaming mug down in front of him and retaking her seat.

The look on Jess’ face was a picture in that moment.

“You’re not about to go all Mrs Robinson on me, are you?” he asked too seriously, and then that famous smirk broke through.

“Ha! You wish!” Lorelai teased him with a grin of her own.

Jess picked up his coffee mug with both hands and stared into it as if maybe the answers to life, the universe and everything were in there. Of course, they weren’t. He had things he should say in this conversation of truth and honesty with Lorelai, he just wasn’t so sure how well he was going to do at looking like he meant it when he made his apology. He would mean it, but Jess wasn’t used to saying he was sorry. He was concerned it wouldn’t quite come off, even if it was true.

“Y’know, for what it’s worth...” he began still looking into his coffee at first and then making himself meet Lorelai’s eyes again. “I’m sorry too. I know I wasn’t exactly a mother’s dream date for her daughter...”

“You weren’t trying to be,” she cut in easily. “Now, it’s different. You’re trying to be the most responsible boyfriend and soon-to-be father. You are, you’re different, Jess,” she smiled, putting a hand to his arm on the table. “I think we all are. We’re a family now, you, Rory, me, Luke, and baby makes a full house.”

Jess nodded his agreement and looked back to his coffee. It felt strange, having anyone want to include him in their family, least of all Lorelai Gilmore. Luke tried to make him feel wanted and of course Rory loved him, but this was different. This was more than he ever really got from his own mother and it meant a lot more than Jess was willing to express.

“Thanks, Lorelai,” he told her, as sincerely as he ever said anything.

“For what?” she asked, tilting her head and sipping her coffee then.

“I don’t know, letting us stay here? Not castrating me for getting Rory pregnant?” he smirked slightly at his own semi-joke.

Lorelai smiled widely over her coffee cup.

“For a minute there it was a pretty close call,” she teased dangerously. “But honestly? I have as much to thank you for,” she continued more seriously. “You took care of my daughter and then you brought her home to me. You’re the reason I have Rory back, that I’m going to get the chance to help her with this pregnancy, and meet my grandkid,” she smiled once again. “So, thank you, Jess.”

He acknowledged her words with a nod, before picking up his coffee and taking a long drink. He would never quite understand how the Gilmores could drink as much of the stuff as they did, but lately he sure did like the caffeine hit when he was working so very hard.

“Now, get back to work before Luke gets mad and witholds my coffee supply for making you late!” Lorelai complained, suddenly ripping the mug from a startled Jess’ hands.

He was laughing as he rose from his seat and headed for the door. For all that he was afraid of the conversation he knew he had to have with Lorelai eventually, it had actually gone pretty well. To think he had once vowed never to come back here; maybe he really was destined to belong in Stars Hollow. It really wasn’t so bad.


	18. Chapter 17

When Jess woke he found Rory already wide awake beside him and not looking entirely happy somehow. One hand rested on her stomach, the other twirled through her hair in some nervous or aggravated gesture. He wondered if she had a nightmare or if she was feeling sick maybe, but then he would hope she would have woken him up if that were the case.

“Rory?” he said as he turned and pulled himself up against the headboard. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I should be there now,” she replied, her gaze not shifting from some spot on the far wall. “Sophomore year.”

Jess let out a long sigh, now realising the exact problem and wishing he could fix it. Yale started back up today, maybe even yesterday, he wasn’t absolutely sure. Still, it was clear that Rory would be there now if circumstances were different, if she hadn’t run to him, if she wasn’t pregnant with his child. They had talked about all this, about the possibility of Rory only missing the last semester maybe, but in the end she was the one to say it wouldn’t work. School could be stressful, and people could be cruel. She didn’t want to potentially harm her child by stressing over school work, or suffer through her fellow students and teachers making a fuss over her pregnancy. She would rather take the whole year out, figure out what she and Jess were going to do and how life was going to be when the baby came. Next year she would go back, but for now she felt she was missing out.

“I wish I could make it better,” said Jess honestly, reaching an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close until Rory’s head landed on his shoulder. “But things are what they are right now. We decided this was for the best...”

“It is,” she sighed. “I know it is, and I don’t want to be at Yale right now, not really,” she admitted. “It’s not that I’m not happy, Jess, I swear.”

“I know,” he assured her, kissing the top of her head. “But this isn’t how things were supposed to be.”

Rory considered that statement. He was right of course. This wasn’t the plan, not how her life was meant to turn out. She was supposed to complete Yale, go on to have a great career in journalism, and then someday settle down with a man she loved, a family. Everything had got turned upside down and inside out just lately. That didn’t change the fact that she was glad Jess was back in her life, in her plans. She would never be sorry about that.

“I don’t regret it,” she said softly, curling in closer to her boyfriend’s side. “When I came to find you, I... I didn’t know exactly what would happen, and it’s not exactly perfect timing for us to be having a baby and everything,” she considered. “But I don’t regret you, or us. It seems crazy, and it was never the plan, but maybe this was exactly how it is supposed to be.”

Jess smiled at her logic that was almost entirely illogical. All her plans got blown to hell and Rory suddenly decided to believe in fate. He wouldn’t argue with her, it wasn’t worth it. Besides, for all that he wasn’t so sure he put much stock in the whole destiny thing, he did believe in Rory. He told her a few months ago that he knew she was the one for him from the first moment he saw her. That was true, even if he couldn’t properly explain it then or now. Rory Gilmore was supposed to be in his life, and him in hers. Now they had a baby on the way and that didn’t always guarantee happiness for a couple, but for them, it would be okay. Jess was determined on that.

“Next year you’re gonna go back to Yale,” he told her, holding her close. “And everybody is gonna be so impressed at how hot you still are even though you had a kid,” he said, making her laugh against his chest. “And you’ll be top of all your classes, and the best mom in the world at the same time, because you’re Rory Gilmore and that’s just what you do,” he promised, planting another kiss in her hair.

Rory looked up then and met his eyes, as hypnotised by his gaze as she was amused and flattered by his words. This beautiful, wonderful, caring man that loved her, that was determined she was to have the best of everything, her education, a family, everything. It overwhelmed her, and all Rory could do was cry.

“Stupid hormones,” she muttered feeling stupid.

Jess moved to wipe the tears away even as they continued to fall. He shifted down to her level and kissed her cheek, her forehead, her lips, promising her in whispered words that everything was going to work out, that he loved her like he never loved anyone before. They were getting completely lost in each other and not caring at all about it when suddenly there was a loud rapping on the bedroom door and loud voices yelling.

“Paris, you can’t just...”

“Lorelai, this is important!”

“Paris?” Rory gasped as she pulled out of Jess’ grasp. “What is going on?”

“Not what I hoped,” he muttered, climbing out of his side of the bed and reaching for his pants.

He had only just managed to get them on and turn around to see Rory tying her dressing gown around her when the door flew open and in stormed Paris Geller in full flow.

“Geez, you couldn’t wait five seconds?” gasped Jess, grabbing at the nearest shirt.

“So it’s true,” said Paris without paying him a moment’s notice, looking directly at Rory still. “You dropped out because the James Dean wannabe knocked you up?”

“Paris!” Lorelai snapped from the doorway.

“It’s okay, Mom,” Rory assured her. “You should go to work, we’ll be fine,” she urged her.

Lorelai looked from her daughter to Paris and then dared a glance at Jess now he was a little less naked. He nodded reassuringly that he had Rory’s back and that seemed to be good enough for her. Lorelai warned Paris off stressing Rory out and then left.

“Well?” 

“Paris, can we just... let’s go sit down,” said Rory, pushing her hair back off her face as she encouraged her friend to follow her to the living room.

Jess hung back a minute, ran both hands back through his hair, and looked down at what he was wearing. Some socks might’ve been nice, time to shower and all before visitors descended. Sure, it was only Paris, but he was having trouble getting his bearings at all after what he and Rory were almost doing when she showed up. By the time Jess made it through to the living room, Paris was already tearing Rory a new one about not being back in school, about her irresponsible behaviour in first running away and then getting pregnant. Jess was about to lose it with the freak of a study-crazy princess when Rory took matters into her own hands.

“Paris, enough!” she yelled at her, cutting her off completely. “Now, I’m sorry you’re upset that I won’t be at Yale with you this year, and I’m sorry if you think I’m an idiot for being with Jess and having his baby, but I am not going to sit here and listen to you rip my life apart. I was so non-judgemental last year when you were dating a guy the same age as my grandfather!” she reminded her, not even noticing the way Jess recoiled at that particular piece of news. “Can’t you just be even a little bit happy for me?”

Paris stared slack jawed and bug eyed at Rory. She wanted to tell Gilmore to keep her hormonal mood swings in check, or tell her their situations were so very different, it wasn’t even funny. None of those words made it out of her mouth. A darkness came over her expression and Rory was actually worried until finally Paris spoke again.

“Well, you don’t have to worry about me and my embarrassing older man relationship anymore,” she said flatly. “Asher died this Summer.”

“Oh, Paris. I’m so sorry,” said Rory then, reaching to offer comfort.

At first it didn’t look as if she would accept the hug and then quite suddenly she did so. Over the top of Paris’ head Jess mouthed to Rory, checking that Asher was the old guy she’d been dating. She nodded yes, and then made vague gestures for him to go make coffee. He agreed with a nod and wandered off to the kitchen, still feeling like this was the weirdest morning of his life so far, and that was really saying something.

“It was fast,” said Paris then as she pulled out of Rory’s arms having shed all of one or maybe two tears it seemed. “A heart attack. One minute he was with me and the next, gone.”

“Oh,” said her friend, biting her lip awkwardly. “Um, well, you two weren’t...”

“No, we were not having sex when he died!” Paris snapped, yelling so loudly she manage to startle Jess into almost dropping the cups in the kitchen. “God, why is the assumption always that a great man can so easily be brought down by a vagina!”

Rory winced at the terminology, quickly apologising for her mistake. Jess couldn’t hear anymore of the conversation after that and he was glad too. It was creepy enough having to imagine Paris having sex, and having sex with some professor of pensionable age, that was just a leap too far. Thankfully, by the time he got back to the living room with coffee for the girls, the conversation had moved on to Rory’s plans and Yale.

“I am coming back, Paris, I promise,” Rory was insisting, though her friend looked less than convinced, arms folded across her chest and sour expression firmly in place.

Jess hadn’t spent much time with Paris Geller but he was almost convinced that was the usual state of her face no matter what was going on. He was pretty sure the only thing he ever saw make her genuinely smile was mac and cheese - that was just weird.

“Hey, if you don’t believe her, believe me,” said Jess as he put the coffee down on the table and threw himself into the arm chair. “Rory is not giving up her dreams just because we got into a situation.”

“Fine words, Kerouac,” said Paris pointedly, not even so much as a thank you as she picked up her coffee and took a long drink.

Jess knew what she meant. It wasn’t just a call-back to an earlier conversation about literature that made her use that name, it was his tendency to leave town. He wasn’t going to rise to the bait, after all, he understood that Paris was just looking out for Rory’s best interests in the end. For all that she was a freak and a pain in the ass much of the time, Paris had been a good friend to Rory for a while now.

“Yeah, well, I’m not planning on getting back out on the road again any time soon,” he said definitely, letting her know he got the reference. “Me and Rory are in this for the long haul.”

“And baby makes three,” said the blonde, looking back at Rory. “I still can’t believe you were that dumb, Gilmore.”

“Hey, not dumb!” she countered. “Slightly irresponsible, maybe, but I’m due a little of that after all these years,” she smiled. “Seriously though, we’re going to make this work, Paris, and then I will be back at school,” she told her definitely, sipping her decaff beverage with some distaste. “In the meantime, you know you can call me whenever you want and come visit sometimes. By month nine, I’ll probably be craving the company and talk of anything but swollen ankles, Braxton Hicks, and all those other scary things that Mom was warning me about.”

“Oh, you’ve got it all to come, missy,” Paris warned her, pointing out her pre-med status and advising Rory on not reading too many medical books on the topic of pregnancy, lest she be scared out of her mind.

They talked a little longer, mostly Rory and Paris with Jess listening in. It was weird how much like a friend the blonde could be when she put her mind to it. She still said the most inappropriate things at times, but Rory seemed to indulge her and just let it go, because that was Paris. It was almost amusing from Jess’ point of view, but only almost.

“Well, I should go,” said Paris eventually. “Some of us have new room-mates to adjust to and a reading list a mile long,” she sighed. “It’s going to be strange and lonely at Yale, without you, without Asher.”

She looked so sad, and since everything was already making Rory cry lately, it didn’t take much for the tears to come. She hugged Paris on instinct and the awkward woman on the other side of the moment hugged back, albeit briefly and as if she would rather be anywhere else right now.

“Take care of yourself, Paris,” Rory advised. “And remember, call me, whenever you need me, okay?”

“I’ll bear it in mind,” she nodded, before heading for the door.

Rory followed with Jess at her side, his arm around her waist. When Paris looked back at them from the door she smiled.

“Who’d have thought that you were right?” she said to Jess. “Austen really could love Bukowski.”

He smirked at her remark, amused and weirdly flattered that not only did she remember that one intense conversation about books so well, but also because it meant she believed in him and Rory being together. So few truly did, that actually meant something.

“Always a pleasure to see you, Paris,” he smiled.

“Yeah, well, it will be, so long as you take care of her,” she said pointlessly. “Screw up, Mariano, and your ass is mine, no matter how far you run.”

He nodded that he understood, even though they both knew it was a threat that would never need to be carried out. Jess was going nowhere this time, not a chance.

“So, that’s what waking up to Paris is like,” sighed Jess when she was gone. “No wonder her last boyfriend died.”

“Jess!” Rory snapped at him for being so thoughtless, though she ought to be used to his sense of humour by now.

“What? I happened to have been enjoying myself before she interrupted,” he reminded her, pulling her into his arms. “And I didn’t exactly hear you complaining either.”

They shared a kiss but just as soon as he tried to get her robe off, Rory pulled away.

“Now we don’t have time,” she told him regretfully. “Isn’t Luke expecting you at the diner, like ten minutes ago?”

Jess was cursing as he rushed off to the bedroom to finish getting dressed. Rory tried not to giggle but failed miserably. It really had been a heck of a morning so far as it wasn’t even nine o’clock yet. She wondered how she would spend the day. With no studying to do for school and no job of her own, she was already starting to get bored. When she was more heavily pregnant, she supposed she would have to get used to it, but for now she figured she could have a job of some kind. If there was something in Stars Hollow itself that would be ideal so she wasn’t wasting money on gas driving back and forth. She decided to wander into town later and see what she could find.

In the meantime, Rory wanted to go see her Mom. She would be at the new inn by now, since she had a meeting there with Sookie and Tom. Though they were living in the same house and had been for almost three weeks now since her return from New York, Rory didn’t feel like she had spent enough time with her Mom, not alone anyway. It would be good to do so, and by the time Jess came barrelling back through from the bedroom, fully dressed and ready for work, she had quite decided that she would go and surprise Lorelai with coffee after her meeting so they could have a real mother-daughter talk about things just like they used to. It seemed entirely overdue.

* * *

“Did I ever tell you that you’re my favourite daughter?” asked Lorelai as she chugged down great gulps of her coffee from Luke’s - the very best kind of coffee, in her expert opinion.

“That would be flattering if I wasn’t your only daughter,” replied Rory, sipping her second decaff of the day and not entirely appreciating it. “But it’s still nice to hear, I guess.”

They were sat out back of what would one day be The Dragonfly Inn. Even in its state of ill repair, the building was beautiful and the views all round were exquisite. Though the weather was getting chillier as Autumn deepened, on days like today with the sun shining, it was still nice to sit outside so long as a person was wrapped up enough. Rory was totally comfortable here with her Mom, just talking about normal things for a while. They discussed the inn, and how things were going with their respective guys. Rory explained why Paris had come over and what had been said, and then talk turned to the baby.

“It is weird to think that this time next year I’ll be back in school, but that I’ll also be a mom,” she said thoughtfully. “Kinda scary.”

“Yeah, I remember,” Lorelai smiled nostalgically. “I’m not gonna lie to you, babe, there’s a whole lot of scary when it comes to having kids, but it’s a beautiful thing too. There is no feeling in the world like looking down at this little bundle in your arms and knowing that’s your baby, always connected back to you, no matter what. Kind of amazing.”

“Sometimes I wonder what he or she will look like,” Rory giggled, feeling silly just saying it. “I mean, I know this early he or she isn’t going to look exactly like a baby with a smiley face and all, but when he or she is born, I wonder if they’ll look like me, or like Jess, or some weird combination of the two.”

“Maybe it’ll be a real beauty of a girl, y’know, looking just like me,” Lorelai joked, hugging her daughter close.

“Maybe,” she laughed lightly. “I don’t really care. I just hope he or she is okay, y’know, healthy and everything. I guess when we go to the scan next week we find out more stuff, like if it all looks okay in there.”

“That’s the idea” he mother agreed. “I, er... I meant to ask you about that, the scan,” she said then. “I know Jess will go with you because hey, father of the baby, but I wondered if... and you don’t have to... but if you wanted...”

“Yes,” Rory cut in, looking her mother in the eye. “Please, yes, I would love for you to come with us too,” she smiled widely. “Jess is being incredible and I wouldn’t want to do any of this without him, but I still need you too Mom. You’ve done this before, you know all the pregnancy stuff and I... I just feel like I don’t know anything about what I’m supposed to be doing or feeling, about what’s safe and what’s not. I mean, I know not to drink normal coffee or carry heavy things, but that’s about it so far,” she shrugged helplessly.

“Oh, honey, you know you can ask me anything at all,” Lorelai insisted. “And y’know they make pregnancy books, we can get you a couple of those, but anything that looks scary or that you don’t understand or have questions, I’m right here to help. Always, you know that.”

Rory felt tears running down her cheeks and cursed herself for being so dumb. Some days it seemed like all she did was cry and others nothing affected her at all. Lorelai understood completely, that was the point. She couldn’t promise her daughter that everything was going to be okay or smooth sailing from here on out. There were parts of pregnancy that were hard, some scary, some physically painful, and things could go wrong. All Lorelai could say for sure was that she was going to be here with Rory, every step of her pregnancy and beyond. That was a promise she could make and would keep, without question.


	19. Chapter 18

Jess was kind of hoping today would get better as it went along. Sure, he had to work, but it was a full day at the diner, waiting tables when needed, and doing inventory when not. That was preferable to his other job at Walmart, which he could pretty much do with his eyes closed, but he really didn’t get along with any of the people there and breaks were more painful than working in that kind of situation. At least at the diner he knew Luke would cut him some slack if needed and he could hold a decent conversation with the guy. Plus Lane was pretty chatty these days. That was a little weird, since they really didn’t talk much when they went to school together, just a few brief conversations about music they both liked or in reference to Rory, that was all. Now it was as if she was actively trying to be his friend, and though Jess didn’t mind that so much, it was kind of unnerving. He really expected that when he came back here it would be to more anger and venom from those that loved Rory almost as much as he did. Instead they all seemed to want to welcome him into the fold suddenly. It was nice, he supposed, but strange.

The breakfast rush was as busy as usual, then Jess had started inventory in the store room. He took his break when Rory came in to get coffees for her and Lorelai and then got back to work. Now it was lunch time, and though things were once again getting the crazy kind of busy, working with Lane made things easier. She and Jess weren’t just becoming a strange kind of friends, but they had a rhythm down for serving the patrons of Luke’s diner. It was the owner himself who noticed, standing back behind the counter with his arms folded and a smile on his face. It was impressive to see them move like a well-oiled machine, trading plates as they crossed paths, calling out instructions and comments as they went.

“What are you smiling at?” asked his nephew as he headed for the kitchen.

“It’s actually kind of beautiful... and terrifying,” Luke considered with a varying expression. “It’s almost as if you two could handle this place without me,” he said then, looking suddenly less proud and more panicked.

“Don’t worry, Uncle Luke, we couldn’t have this diner without you in it,” he promised, his tone teasing as ever. “Right, Lane?”

“Oh, of course not,” she agreed, smiling as widely as Jess was. “You couldn’t have Luke’s without Luke. Though I suppose we could just change the name to Jess and Lane’s,” she smirked wickedly then.

Luke went from panicked to annoyed in two seconds flat, as his staff knew he would. Still, their laughter turned out to be infectious and he gave in and laughed too at their jokes. It was nice to have a little fun in the place, and Luke was in the mood to enjoy it these days. Since he got together with Lorelai, well, at first things still hadn’t been great with Rory gone AWOL, but now she was back and everything was settling down a little bit. Happiness was the watchword, even if things were never going to be smooth sailing with Rory and Jess back together and a baby on the way. For the time being at least, everybody was getting along and smiling. That suited Luke down to the ground.

It was because of his strangely good mood lately that Jess knew he was safe in teasing his uncle to no end. He and Lane had a very similar sense of humour it seemed, so tag-teaming gags against Luke was pretty easy and broke up a busy day nicely. Jess could see now why Rory and Lane got along so well, intelligent and sarcastic as they could both be. What he couldn’t wrap his head around was their taste in men. In spite of everything, how much he loved Rory and all, Jess knew he wasn’t really good enough for her. In the same way, Zach Van Gerbig was even less worthy of a girl like Lane, but she seemed to adore him.

“Sometime you gotta explain that to me,” said Jess as he walked behind Lane who was now stationary by the window, staring out longingly at her band-mates on the sidewalk.

“What?” she asked absently, not even turning around.

“You and your weird-ass crush on that,” he gestured towards the blond beyond the glass. “He’s not exactly a mastermind, and... well, you’re not really his speed, y’know?”

Lane did know. She knew and she hated it. It was true enough that Zach wasn’t as intellectual as she liked to believe she was herself, but he knew the things he needed to know and he was happy. He was a nice person, thoughtful sometimes, sweet even. He also dated a lot, or rather he just brought a lot of girls home for fooling around and other things that Lane knew very little of. What Jess said about not being Zach’s speed, there was no denying it was true. It bothered Lane to no end because she really, really liked him.

“Lane, c’mon!” Jess snapped at her when he came by again and found her still stood in exactly the same place.

She was holding the same two plates that were supposed to be across the room in front of a pair of waiting customers, still staring outside.

“What do I do, Jess?” she sighed heavily as she turned to face him.

“First off, you take the food to the table in the corner,” he advised. “The less tables we turn over, the less tips we make, and I need the money right now.”

“I mean about Zach,” she rolled her eyes, though she went and served the food as he had suggested.

Jess followed her across the diner and over to the register where she rang up a purchase and put away some cash. When nobody was around to hear, he leant in closer and spoke quietly.

“What do you want me to say to you?” he asked. “If you like Zach, just tell him.”

“How can I? Like you said, we’re not a good match, not really, and he... he likes girls that know things, do things, I can’t... I’m not like that.”

Jess really didn’t want to be having this conversation with her, but apparently he didn’t have a choice.

“Look, that really doesn’t matter all that much,” he told her seriously. “I mean, yeah, it’s a part of the whole thing, but... well, you think Rory and me were in the same place when we started dating? You know we weren’t,” he reminded her. “Just... just talk to him,” he advised. “All I know for sure is me and Rory never got anywhere until we got serious about how we felt and told each other,” he moved to walk away then but immediately came back, grabbing Lane’s arm before she got away. “You tell anybody about this conversation and me giving you dating advice, I’ll deny it, okay?”

Lane smiled and nodded her agreement.

“Thanks, Jess,” she said sincerely.

He smiled, mostly because he was glad to have Lane back concentrating on work for five seconds. Seriously though, it was kind of nice to have a friend, a real one that appreciated him. People who liked Jess Mariano for real were few and far between, and he never expected the list to grow when he returned to Stars Hollow. Maybe he should have guessed such strange things could happen in a town as wacky as this one.

“Hello, happy worker bees!” said Lorelai too loudly as she suddenly made an entrance with Rory beside her.

“Hey,” Jess greeted his girlfriend as she came to lean over the counter and kiss his lips. “Twice in one day, huh? I’m going to start thinking you like me or something.”

“Er, no,” Lorelai rolled her eyes as she hopped up onto a stool beside the couple. “Like I’ve been telling Luke for years now, you guys have the coffee. Without that? You wouldn’t stand a chance with chicks like us,” she winked.

Jess rolled his eyes at her usual odd sense of humour and fetched the regular coffee pot for Lorelai, then switched back for the decaff to serve Rory’s drink. She made a face but he chose to ignore it since technically she probably shouldn’t be drinking as much coffee as she was anyway. Even decaff had some caffeine, but he knew there was no stopping her without making her miserable. He just poured her a not-quite-full cup and hoped she understood.

“So, I have news,” she told him as she accepted her coffee with thanks. “And I don’t know if you’ll like it but, yeah, it’s newsworthy,” she smiled awkwardly.

Jess wasn’t sure he liked the sound of this and yet he forced his expression to remain neutral and asked what was up. His eyes flicked to Lorelai as he waited for an answer, but she refused to show any kind of expression or say a word about what was going on. She clearly thought this ought to be dealt with by the young couple alone without her interference. Jess appreciated that, even if it did make him all the more nervous somehow.

“Okay,” said Rory, setting her mug down carefully on the counter. “So later, when I’m really pregnant, the third trimester, really fat, can hardly move kind of pregnant, then obviously I’ll be at home most of the time, taking care of myself and the him or her that’s in here,” she said, hand straying briefly to her stomach. “But for now, I just thought it would make sense if I had a job, a part time job,” she quickly amended. “Just something local and easy, where my boss would be understanding of the situation... and it’s not that I don’t think I can trust you to make enough money, Jess, I swear, it’s just...”

“I think it’s a good idea,” he cut in, thinking it was best to do so before Rory started hyperventilating.

Rory looked bemused.

“What? I’m not the old-fashioned, hunter-gatherer, Donna Reed Show type. You know this,” he told her, looking amazed that she had ever considered such a thing. “If you want a job you should have a job. Rory, you know what you can handle, and if you don’t, we’re here to remind you,” he said, gesturing between himself, Lorelai, and Luke who was now serving tables with Lane since Jess had become distracted by his girlfriend. “It’s not like New York where things could get dangerous, this is Stars Hollow. Hell, I can’t imagine there’s a job you couldn’t walk to from your house without meeting at least six friendly neighbours who want to check on your health,” he rolled his eyes at the very idea.

“The man has a point,” said Lorelai, when it became clear her daughter was going to do nothing but beam at her amazing man that never stopped surprising her. “Besides, it’s not like Andrew is going to work her into the ground. It’s only a small store.”

“Andrew?” Jess echoed, looking back at Rory who nodded her head.

“Yeah, he said I could help out in the book store”, she confirmed. “Kirk’s been spreading himself a little thin even for Kirk, and Andrew would like to work less shifts himself, spend more time with his family,” she explained. “So, he said I could have the job, and he knows it’s only temporary, what with the baby and Yale next year.”

Jess was nodding and agreeing that he understood, but a feeling akin to pain shot through him every time Rory mentioned school. She got this ghost of a look that passed over her face, almost imperceptible but Jess knew it was there. She said she was okay, that she would pick up her education next year, but he sometimes wondered if she really believed that. They hadn’t made any concrete plans for how things were going to be after the baby came. Sure, he said he would do his part and help make it work so Rory could go back to Yale, but neither of them were really sure of the logistics and mechanics of that situation. Maybe she wasn’t convinced that she would be abe to go back. If Jess thought too much about it, he wasn’t all that sure himself.

“Oh, by the way,” said Lorelai suddenly. “I got a call from your Dad today,” she told Rory who looked confused. “Apparently he called the house last night but it was engaged and then again this morning... must’ve been bad timing, I don’t know... anyway, he called my cell, just to check in, I think.”

“Did you tell him?” asked Rory with wide eyes.

Lorelai shook her head.

“Honey, I would not do that to you,” she promised her. “You and Jess made this baby, it is your news to tell, though if you ask me, your Dad does have a right to know.”

Rory looked from her Mom to Jess and found that her boyfriend wouldn’t meet her eyes. He looked around for a table to go serve, but Luke and Lane had it covered for now. There was nowhere to run, and yet he was trying for all he was worth to do anything but look at either Gilmore girl.

“Jess?” Lorelai called him on his evasive behaviour. “You don’t think Christopher should know about the baby?”

“It’s not that,” he said awkwardly, making a big deal of wiping down the counter.

Lorelai put her hand on his to stop it and he looked up, almost guiltily at her, and then at Rory.

“I didn’t exactly tell Liz yet either,” he admitted. “I mean, we’ve been in touch, ever since the wedding, and... If I tell her, she’s just gonna go crazy. She’s gonna wanna come here and invade and take over,” he shook his head. “She wasn’t the world’s worst mother, not completely, but she wasn’t the best either, not by a long stretch. I just... I don’t need her interfering.”

Both Rory and Lorelai wanted to say something about his decision and yet they found they couldn’t. Rory had never even met Liz so having an opinion on the woman was more or less impossible. She only knew what Jess had told her, and that wasn’t much, and what she did know usually wasn’t good stuff.

As for Lorelai, she did believe that Liz had as much right to know about this kid as Chris. On the other hand, she had a brief knowledge of what Jess’ Mom was like, nice enough perhaps, but her string of men plus her smoking and drinking habits didn’t exactly suggest she had been the best of mothers. Jess would hardly have turned out like he had as a teen if she were. Besides, Lorelai wasn’t exactly a fan of sharing things with her mother either, and she knew how badly Emily had taken first her pregnancy and then Rory’s own. She held her tongue when it came to Liz. Unfortunately, she couldn’t keep as quiet when it came to her own parents. They were going to have to be faced again eventually, and potentially tonight.

“So, whilst I have your attention and your attention,” she said, looking from Rory to Jess and back. “Today, as we all know, is Friday. So, what to do about the great Gilmore tradition of Friday night dinner.”

“Well, Yale is on hold, so technically Grandma and Grandpa aren’t paying any money... that should mean we don’t have to go,” said Rory thoughtfully. “But I would like to see Grandpa. He was so nice about everything,” she smiled.

Lorelai felt awkward. As much as she could hate Emily sometimes and knew the way she spoke to Rory and Jess before was wrong, cutting her out of their lives completely would be messy and unpleasant for all concerned. The truth was she had thought about calling her mother several times this week in an attempt to get some sense into her head over Rory’s pregnancy and being with Jess and all. She had bottled out every single time.

“Okay,” she said eventually. “And I can’t actually believe I’m saying this but, how about we go, you guys stay in the pool house and I will talk to Emily. I can check out the situation, see where she is on the scale of civil to full-on bitch mode, and then we’ll see where to go from there.”

“I can live with that,” Jess shrugged non-comittally, watching Rory for a reaction.

“Yeah, I guess that’d be okay,” she said eventually.

That agreed, the topic of conversation moved on to happier things, but Jess knew Rory was still thinking about her grandparents. As much as Richard was being nice about it, they all knew he wasn’t really happy, and Emily had flipped her lid as spectacularly as expected. The last thing Rory Gilmore ever wanted to do was upset anyone, but this pregnancy had thrown everything into chaos. Unfortunately, there was little to nothing one person could do about another person’s reactions to a situation. They were just going to have to stick together and ride out this storm for as long as it lasted.


	20. Chapter 19

Jess felt it had been a very long day, and it still wasn’t over yet. Luke let him out of the diner around five o’clock, knowing he would need to rest and change before Friday Night Dinner at the Gilmore mansion. That kind of thing needed a little preparation of the mind, Luke was sure on that, and Jess appreciated the understanding.

He headed out into the chilly autumn air, zipping up his jacket and shoving his hands deep into his pockets. Jess wasn’t really looking where he was going, just wandering home down the already darkening street. He was practically running right into a person coming the other way before he even knew she was there. Jess opened his mouth to apologise but the words died on his tongue when he saw who it was.

“Lindsay,” he said with a nod of greeting.

“Hi, Jess,” she smiled tightly.

They remembered each other from school, of course they did. It would be hard not to recognise each other as the second love of their current partners. Of course, Jess had no idea how much Lindsay knew about what happened with Rory and Dean after the guy married her. He also wondered how Dean explained his bloody nose a week ago. It certainly wasn’t up to Jess to tell her anything, so he didn’t. In fact he was hoping to slide right by without another word, but the second he took a step forward, Lindsay blocked his path.

“I’m not stupid,” she said out of nowhere.

Jess waited to see where she was going with this, offering no opinion on her initial statement. It really depended on what she knew and what she had done about it whether she could be considered actively stupid, or maybe just foolish or blind.

“It was always about her,” she sighed sadly, eyes dipping to the pavement. “I thought Dean could love me like he loved Rory, sometimes I think he can,” she explained, meeting Jess’ gaze again.

“Why are you telling me this?” he shook his head.

“Because we’re the same?” she suggested. “First loves don’t go away, I know. Dean was the first man I fell for, the first I...” she faltered, feeling so dumb saying these things to him, but Jess was maybe the only other person that might understand how she felt. “You and Rory are...”

“Me and Rory are for keeps, Lindsay,” he said, cutting her off before she suggested any kind of alternative idea. “Now I’m sorry that Dean Forester is an unfaithful ass, because I’m pretty sure you deserve better than that, but Rory loves me. God knows why she does, I don’t really deserve it, but I am working my butt off to prove to her and to everybody else in this crazy town that I can be worthy of her and of this kid we’re having. Dean stopped being any kind of picture perfect boyfriend when he married you knowing he still loved Rory.”

The rant ended abruptly when he realised he went too far. Lindsay’s eyes were glassy with a flood of tears she refused to shed where people would see. Jess hadn’t meant to do that, but he also wasn’t willing to stand here and be told he and Lindsay had anything in common. It was true enough that they had been the people Rory and Dean ran to when they broke up. The difference was, Jess was the reason for the dissolution of the former relationship. Rory wanted him more than she wanted Dean. Lindsay was the rebound girl that Dean had bounced on to. He didn’t love her, he had used her, and if Rory snapped her fingers the dumb dog would come running, leaving Lindsay without a second glance. It was sick and unfair, but it was true.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, feeling lousy for being the one to make Lindsay cry, as if her husband wasn't enough of a reason already. “Seriously, Lindsay, I am. You don’t deserve to be treated this way, not by him, not by anybody.”

“You’re so sure Rory loves you,” she said, almost laughing even as tears streaked down her cheeks. “Must be nice.”

It really was, but Jess wouldn’t confirm what she already knew. That was causing unnecessary pain and from what he could see here, Lindsay had enough of that already. Still, he had one thing he felt he needed to get out into the open whilst he had the chance, consequences be damned.

“Y'know, you said before you weren’t stupid,” he reminded her. “If that’s true, knowing what you know, why are you still with him?”

“We’re married,” she scoffed, like that was answer enough.

Jess shook his head. She didn’t get it. There was so much more love and commitment between him and Rory than there ever had been or ever would be between Lindsay and Dean. Marriage didn’t always make for a perfect relationship. In this case, it made for a much worse one than anyone could have imagined.

“Good luck, Lindsay,” said Jess as he walked away. “I think you’re gonna need it.”

* * *

Lorelai wasn’t looking forward to facing her mother tonight. Nothing about Friday Night Dinners thrilled her on a regular week, but today was definitely not going to be a barrel of laughs. It had been tricky enough since her parents split up, having to go to drinks in the pool-house with her father and then into the house for dinner with Mom. They weren’t really rude about each other or anything, but they were neither of them happy and both feeling they weren’t getting enough time and attention.

Now Rory was back, with Jess in tow, and a baby on the way. Richard had handled it relatively well, though Lorelai was pretty sure he was broken up on the inside. He was trying and that was what really mattered. Emily on the other hand had blown her top, causing Rory to react badly. Now things were fractured, hopefully not beyond repair, but it was up to Lorelai to go in and check the status of things, with no idea how bad it might be.

In any other circumstance, Lorelai would have run screaming from the conversation she now had to have with her mother. The fact was, only Rory’s welfare would make her face this kind of situation by choice. For her baby girl, Lorelai would do anything and everything. That was why she was here, outside her parents’ house alone, whilst Rory and Jess sat semi-comfortably in the pool house drinking soda and trying to make conversation. Lorelai had to figure things out with Emily, even if she knew she was probably going to catch most of the blame for everything that was broken in Rory’s life. She would do it, she had no choice.

Ringing the doorbell, she waited for the maid to answer and got a surprise when it was Emily herself.

“Hi, Mom,” she greeted her mother awkwardly.

“Lorelai,” she nodded once in reply and spoke with a cool tone. “Where's Rory?”

“She’s not here right now,” Lorelai explained as she stepped inside. “Her and Jess are with Dad actually, I kind of wanted to talk to you alone.”

Emily’s expression was unreadable as she ushered her daughter through to the living room and followed on behind her the moment the front door was closed. She silently poured a drink for herself and then one for Lorelai, showing no emotion whatsoever as she handed a glass to her daughter and sat down. Honestly, Lorelai would rather she was yelling and screaming than doing her ice queen bit, but she would work with whatever she had. At least the silence gave her a chance to say her piece.

“So, Rory was really upset last Friday, and I know you were too, but it’s just... it’s made things feel strained and weird”, she explained. “Rory doesn’t know if she’s welcome here, or if she even wants to be...”

“Of course she’s welcome here,” Emily snapped. “She is still my granddaughter, and so long as she is willing to apologise for her behaviour...”

“I’m sorry, what?” Lorelai interrupted this time, incredularity written all over her face and evident in her tone. “Mom, what the hell does Rory have to be sorry for?”

“Oh, Lorelai, please!” her mother rolled her eyes. “You think the way she spoke to me last week was acceptable?”

“Usually, no, but in the circumstances? Hell yes!” she declared, putting her glass down on the coffee table with a thud. “Mom, she barely got in through the door and you managed to judge her, Jess, their life choices, and me, all in the space of ten seconds or less. That was a record even for you.”

Emily’s lip curled into a sneer and Lorelai had to wonder which part of what she said got to her most. She figured it was somewhere between the mention of Jess and telling her mother she was judgemental - as if they didn’t all know very well she could be, and to the extreme too.

“Mom, I know you care about Rory,” she said when Emily seemed loathed to speak herself. “And trust me, she loves you and Dad so very much. It’s coming out as anger, but I know she’s heartbroken to have disappointed us. She gets it, she really does, and I do too. You think this is what I wanted for my daughter? Of course it’s not. I wanted her to finish Yale and go travelling and have this amazing career before she got to settling down surrounded by diapers and baby bottles. I know how hard it is, I know better than anyone, but she and Jess are making the best of this. They say they want to make it work and you know what? From what I’ve seen so far, I really believe they can.”

Emily turned in her chair looking off into the space on the other side of the room. Lorelai wondered if she was taking in a single word of what she was telling her. She hoped so but couldn’t really believe it. This whole thing suddenly seemed so pointless. Lorelai got up from her seat with heavy sigh.

“I guess you still can’t accept that anything outside of your plan isn’t automatically a tragedy and a deliberate attempt to hurt and defy you,” she said, turning to leave.

She got a real shock when she heard her mother call her name with a voice cracking with deep emotion. Lorelai looked back and saw that Emily had tears streaking down her face, lips quivering with the effort of trying to speak clearly and not break down completely.

“Lorelai, I’m sorry,” she admitted. “Everything is... it’s just falling apart all around me.”

It was an automatic reaction for Lorelai to move closer to her mother and wrap her arms around Emily as she cried. She hadn’t seen her this upset since... Lorelai wondered if she ever saw her this upset. It was highly unlikely this was all about Rory either, but Lorelai wasn't likely to find out for a while, not as long as Emily was crying all over her. She would just have to wait and see what happened next.

* * *

Grandpa said he was okay with the situation of Rory having a baby, taking a year out of Yale, and all. He said it but Rory knew better than to think it was really true. Over time, he would make himself accept things as they were, maybe even be truly happy for her, but in the meantime, things were just awkward. It meant so much to Rory that Richard would try to be reasonable, way more so than Emily had been. He was accepting of Jess and the baby, the situation they found themselves in, but it was evident he felt strange about it, uncomfortable and ill at ease. It was worse without Lorelai there to crack jokes and be a buffer between the two generations, but she was still with Emily trying to broker peace. She seemed to have been gone a very long time.

“Y’know, Grandpa, I really like what you’ve done with the place,” said Rory politely. “You almost wouldn’t guess this was just a pool-house.”

“Thank you, Rory,” he smiled back at her, and then the silence settled in again.

Jess had been in some pretty awkward situations in his life, but this was just awful. He had no idea what he was supposed to say here. He kind of hoped Rory and Richard would just talk around him, but they were both almost as awkward as him right now. For one of the first and only times in his life, Jess wished Lorelai was here cracking her lame jokes.

“Er, you should tell your grandfather about your job,” he said quietly to Rory.

“Oh, well, I have a job,” she said then. “It’s just at the local book store, part time, but it’s money coming in and something to keep me occupied for a while.”

Richard nodded and smiled, then proceeded to shift awkwardly in his seat. Money probably wasn’t a great topic to get into in the circumstances and Jess felt like an idiot for encouraging Rory to mention her job. Money was why Rory had started seeing her grandparents as often as she did, Jess knew that. They had been paying for Yale this past year but nobody was sure if they would be again when Rory went back. Everything was so uncertain, and so damn awkward!

“Speaking of money,” said Richard then. “You know, Rory, if you do plan to go back to Yale next year, I still fully intend to pay your tuition, as agreed. That hasn’t changed.”

She smiled at the sweet offer and yet felt strange about accepting. Things were so different now, and though she kept on saying she would be back in education next year, she had no real concrete plans. There was so much to figure out, so much she and Jess needed to discuss but hadn’t yet. Rory was still finding her feet on the whole pregnancy thing and moving back home. It was so overwhelming.

“Thank you, Grandpa,” she said anyway. “And someday, I still want to pay you back. I don’t know exactly how the future is going to pan out anymore, if I ever did, but somehow, someday...”

“We’ll pay it back,” Jess confirmed, picking her hand up in his and squeezing it. “Somehow we will,” he said definitely, looking at Richard then.

For all that he wanted to hate this young man for getting Rory into such a situation, Jess Mariano did not make it easy. He seemed so determined to stand by the woman he professed to love, and to do what was right for her and her extended family. That demanded some respect, in spite of his status as the boy who got Rory into trouble.

“Well, thank you,” said Richard with a half-smile, and there the conversation died again.

“Um, so Grandpa, what have you been reading lately?” asked Rory, determined not to sink into any more uncomfortable silences.

“Actually I’ve been re-visiting Hemingway, though I know that won’t interest you,” he smiled fondly at his much beloved granddaughter who just didn’t understand the joy of reading that man’s works. “Your grandmother despises everything by good old Ernest also, but out here I have my freedom away from her glares and disapproval.”

“Well, then it’s a good thing that Jess is here!” she said happily. “He loves Hemingway. You two could probably talk for hours.”

“Really?” her grandfather looked astonished.

Jess might’ve been offended by his shock, but he would be the first to admit he probably didn’t seem like the type to know his literature. There was a pun in there about judging books by their covers that he just knew Lorelai would’ve made if she was here. Actually he was surprised Rory hadn't but maybe she was just happy and proud to have found a topic for him and her grandfather to talk on.

“I like the guy’s work,” he admitted with shrug, like it wasn’t the big deal they all knew it was. “It’s probably The Old Man and the Sea that I’ve read most.”

“Ah, indeed, a fabulous piece of writing...”

Rory sat back against the cushions, soda in hand and smiled as she watched two of her favourite men in the world talk animatedly about books. She had no idea what was going on in the main house with Mom and Grandma, but right now she couldn’t care. Grandpa was on her side, and he was one more family member willing to accept Jess and the baby they were having together. It made her happier than she could say right now, happier than she ever thought she could be when they first returned to Stars Hollow. Maybe things could work out somehow, however tough they seemed.


	21. Chapter 20

Shelving books at Andrew’s store, Rory was in her element. This was maybe the most comfortable and happy she had felt in weeks, well, outside of lying in Jess’ arms in their bed of course. They had been back for a while now and the town seemed to have adjusted in no small part to both their presence and their situation. People had decided, on the whole, to be kind and supportive. Rory supposed she should never have suspected they would be anything else.

Babette and Maury, Miss Patty, Sookie and Jackson, these were people who had helped raise Rory in their own ways, and now they seemed ready and willing to pitch in when it came to the baby she and Jess would have in a few months time. That meant such a lot to the young Miss Gilmore, especially when her actual family were having a tougher time dealing.

It wasn’t her mom or Luke that were the problem. Actually they were being incredibly supportive and helpful, probably more than Rory and Jess deserved, if she were honest with herself. They had both run out on those that cared about them at one time or another, and when they returned, it wasn’t in the most favourable of circumstances. Lorelai had put a roof over their heads, Luke had provided work for Jess. Both were ready and willing with all the love and sound advice they had to give. It made Rory want to cry, she was so happy, relieved, and overwhelmed.

The problem was the grandparents. Rory never expected Richard and Emily to react all that well when she told them she needed to take a year off from Yale, to have a baby no less! She didn’t even think they would take kindly to Jess, especially given the circumstances. Grandpa had surprised her by remaining calm and civil throughout. He was still offering to pay for school when Rory went back, and he and Jess got into a deep and meaningful conversation over Hemingway that gave her real hope for them getting along well in the future. Grandma was still a hurdle to be conquered.

Lorelai had been gone for a long time trying to talk to Emily on Friday night. Once again, dinner ended up abandoned, and Lorelai took the kids home to the diner so Luke could feed them all. There she had explained how upset Emily had gotten, and how much of it wasn’t even about Rory and Jess. She was heartbroken over being estranged from her husband, and suspected Richard was even seeing other people. Rory thought that was highly unlikely, and honestly would rather not consider either of her grandparents dating, because that was just strange, especially when they quite clearly belonged back together.

Though Lorelai told Rory she was sure Emily was sorry for the way she spoke to them all the Friday before, Rory stood firm and said she was not going to face her grandmother until she got an apology. Jess refused to have an opinion in front of Luke and Lorelai, but later that night, lying in bed together, Rory pressed him for his point of view. He had said then that he actually understood both sides of the whole thing. Whilst he did not appreciate the way Emily spoke to Rory, he at least saw that she was disappointed things hadn’t worked out to the plan, and he well understood why she would react badly to the sight of him in particular. As he readily admitted, they did not get off to the best start when they met a couple of years go. There was no denying that was true enough, Rory knew, but she still held onto some hope of building bridges eventually. If her grandma could just understand this time, the way she never could when her daughter left home - happiness was so much more important than sticking to some  
big plan of everyone else’s ideals.

Finishing rearranging the shelf she was stood in front of, Rory moved to the next and checked the alphabetisation. She muttered mild expletives when she found a volume of Austen’s greatest works between two Dickens novels, and actually growled when a modern crime thriller showed itself amongst the rest of the classics.

“Y’know I don’t know what’s sexier,” said a voice from the door. “The fact you’re surrounded by books or the sounds you’re making while you sort them.”

Rory could hear the smirk in Jess’ voice before she ever turned to glance at him, only glad nobody else was in the store right now to hear him.

“Do people not understand the concept of genre?!” she asked him, waving around the erroneous book that had so annoyed her. “And if that’s too much for them, you would at least think they could handle the alphabet. It’s pretty much the first thing any kid learns at school, and besides, this is a book store! People who come here can read for God’s sake. If you can read, then you know your A to Z!” she grumbled, reshelving at least half a dozen books that had gotten into the wrong places.

Jess wandered over and just watched her a while. She was adorable when she rambled, and hot when she was talking about books in just about any way at all. Her hair had grown out, almost to the length it had been when they first met, and yet she looked older, in a good way. Like a woman rather than a girl, and yet just the same as always at the same time. There wasn’t a thing about Rory that Jess didn’t find attractive, from the very beginning and still now. He wondered if there would ever be a time in his life when she wasn’t the most important person in the world to him. Jess suspected the only time anybody else would matter as much was when their baby was born. As much as he was doing all that needed to be done, the concept that he was going to have a son or daughter in the coming months still kind of blew his mind.

“Jess?” prompted Rory when she turned and found him leaning on the next bookcase over just staring at her with a weird smile on his lips. “What?”

“You’re beautiful,” he told her without a moment’s hesitation.

Still Rory found that she couldn’t help but blush when his compliments came so out of the blue like that. Jess loved her, she knew that, and there were times when he happily told her how much, but to just stand there and blurt out that she was beautiful, that was rare. She didn’t doubt he thought these things but admitting them aloud without warning was scarce and random. It made it all the more special somehow.

“Um, we can’t leave yet,” she said, looking around. “Andrew isn’t here. He knows we have the scan today, so he shouldn’t be long...”

“It’s okay, I’m early,” Jess nodded, reaching out to Rory then and pulling her closer to kiss her hello. “Your mom got caught up at the inn so she’s gonna meet us at the doctor’s office.”

Rory nodded that was fine and within a minute Andrew arrived to take over the book store. The young couple left hand in hand, electing to walk to the doctors since it really wasn’t far. Jess said before that he never regretted selling his car, but Rory knew how much it had meant to him. It wasn’t really practical in New York anyway, but once he found out Rory was pregnant, he knew he would never used it again. The thing was all but a death-trap which was fine for just Jess, even for Rory if she chose to get in it. Everything changed when they knew she was having a baby. It made them both grow up much faster than they ever thought possible. In the end, Jess had sold the car for as much as he could get (which wasn’t much) and added the money to the savings they both knew they were going to need.

“This feels so weird,” said Rory as they walked along together. “We’re going to see our baby. Okay, so just a fuzzy picture of a little tiny person not half so big as he or she will be when they get out into the world, but still... Feels weird,” she admitted.

“Y’know that’s something we didn’t talk about,” said Jess suddenly. “We keep saying ‘he or she’, but if I remember biology class right, don’t we find out one way or the other today? I mean, if we want to?”

“Er, yeah, I guess,” Rory considered. “Um, we want to know, right?”

“There are advantages,” said Jess thoughtfully. “I mean, you know which half of the baby names book to focus on. No chance of buying a bunch of pink stuff and traumatising a boy,” he smirked.

“True,” his girlfriend agreed. “On the other hand, it might be nice to be surprised. I mean, for so long there were no scans or anything, and people found out what they were having when he or she came out into the world. That could be nice too.”

Jess tried not to smile at the way she said it. Though he wasn’t entirely sure why, Rory had clearly decided she didn’t want to know the sex of their baby until the day it was born, she just didn’t want to make that decision by herself and have Jess feel he was cut out of it. The truth was, he didn’t really mind either way. Finding out the kid was healthy and developing properly was priority one, everything else was whatever.

“We can wait and see what we get,” he assured her, leaning in to kiss her temple. “I don’t mind.”

“You sure?” she checked. “Because we can keep weighing up the options...”

“Rory,” he stopped them both walking and faced her. “The doctor’s office is a five minute walk. Your pro-con lists usually take days. You do the math,” he smiled indulgently at her. “Now I appreciate that you want to include me in the decision making and I expect to be consulted when it’s important, but this is what it is. We find out now, we find out in five or six months, it doesn’t matter to me”

“I love you, you know that, right?” she said, gazing up at him.

“Kinda figured,” he shrugged, smirking all over his face as they leaned in and shared a kiss.

“Really? You guys couldn’t even get from the book store to the doctor’s office without stopping for that?” asked Lorelai as the Jeep suddenly pulled up beside the kissing couple, putting an end to their activities very abruptly.

Rory blushed in spite of herself. Jess just smiled politely.

“Lorelai,” he nodded once. “Good timing,” he deadpanned.

“Isn’t it though?” she grinned. “You guys wanna hop in?” she suggested, popping the lock on the passenger door.

Rory and Jess got into the car, however pointless it seemed when they were so close to their destination. It made sense to all arrive together and to go home the same way when they were done. No doubt a trip to the diner would be in order, because Luke wanted to know how things went at the scan. Somehow, Jess figured his uncle would prefer a description devoid of any real detail, but he was going to want to know if the baby was healthy and such. That was all any of them really wanted to hear right now.

It was ten minutes later that Rory was being led into an exam room, followed by both her boyfriend and her mother. She hopped up onto the table, as instructed by the doctor, an older man with kind eyes and a smile. Jess couldn’t help but think if he just had a white beard he’d make a good Santa Claus as crazy as that sounded. Still, a man that seemed to have a decent amount of experience and a grandfatherly air was a preferable doctor choice for his girlfriend, he supposed. No judgmental types or potentially handsy creeps were coming near Rory and his unborn child, Jess was certain on that.

“You okay there, slugger?” Lorelai asked him as they sat either side of the bed and watched whilst the sonogram was switched on and gel spread over Rory’s abdomen.

“I’m not the one being poked and prodded,” he shrugged, eyes fixed on his nervous-looking girlfriend.

Lorelai just smiled, watching him reach for Rory’s other hand and give it a reassuring squeeze. The young couple shared a smile and tears welled in Lorelai’s eyes then. She never expected to be here like this, not whilst Rory was still so young, and certainly not with Jess playing Daddy. Still, she couldn’t deny the obvious love between these two, and she was more than happy to see it. A little jealous if she were brutally honest, because she would have loved for Christopher and herself to have been this in love and happy when her own pregnancy occurred. On the other hand, if they had felt that deeply, things never would have worked out like they had now. Lorelai had her own life in Stars Hollow, the best relationship with her daughter, an inn to call her own, and she had Luke now. She had never been happier than she was in her new relationship and there was just so much in her life to be thankful for. Maybe things were exactly as they were supposed to be.

“Oh my God!” Rory gasped and suddenly Lorelai’s attention was back on the matter at hand as her fingers were gripped tight in her daughter’s own.

Lorelai looked towards the screen and there was the baby, a fuzzy green-hued picture but as the doctor pointed out a leg, an arm, the head, it was so very clearly a child. A very small baby’s form. Her grandson or granddaughter. Lorelai bit back a sob she couldn’t explain at the very idea.

“Would you like to know the sex?” asked the doctor.

“No,” said Jess when Rory’s voice seemed to have left her completely, tears on he cheeks proving how overwhelmed she was by this whole experience. “We talked about it but we’d rather wait and see what comes out on the day.”

“That’s perfectly fine,” the doctor smiled, a little amused by the wording, but happy enough to keep the baby’s sex to himself if that was the wish of the parents-to-be. “Well, what I can tell you is that you have a very healthy little baby growing inside of you, Miss Gilmore,” he told her then. “No problems whatsoever that I can see. Now, let’s take a picture...”

“Two please,” said Lorelai, perhaps a little too loudly and suddenly. “I mean, if you guys don’t mind.”

“No, you should have a picture,” Rory sniffled, smiling through the tears - Lorelai reached into her purse and produced a wad of tissue for her baby girl - “I mean this, you’re going to be part of their life too.”

“Yeah, grandma,” said Jess with a grin he couldn’t help.

“Don’t think you can make me mad with talk like that, Mariano,” she told him with a look. “I have never been more proud of a title in my life.”

* * *

“Wow,” Luke gasped when he was handed in the sonogram picture by his nephew. “That’s... that’s amazing,” he admitted, staring intently at the fuzzy shape of a baby for what felt like forever.

“Kind of is,” Jess agreed with a strange smile on his lips the like of which Luke knew was rarely ever there.

Jess wasn’t the sentimental type, not a romantic or anything, and yet he was so completely in love with Rory, from practically the first moment they met, and Luke knew it. He got this soft look in his eyes sometimes when he looked at the woman he loved, sometimes even when he talked about her, but this was new. This was pride and love, things that a person could only really feel for a child of their own, Luke suspected, though honestly, right now he felt all these things about Jess. He wouldn’t tell him, that wasn’t what Danes men did, but it was there, no doubt about it. He had no idea how much this kid would come to mean in his life when all he’d seen of him was a picture similar to the one in his hand right now. How things changed.

“So, er... everything is good? Healthy, happy?” he checked then, snapping out of a daze as he handed the picture back to Jess.

“All good,” Rory confirmed from the next stool over.

“Better than good,” sighed Lorelai staring at her own copy of the sonogram on the other side of her daughter. “But just so you know, you’re dating a grandma now.”

“The hottest one in town,” said Luke reassuringly as he leaned over the counter to kiss her.

Rory giggled whilst Jess looked away. Luke looked visibly embarrassed when he processed what he just said and in front of whom. He recovered fast and asked whether the baby was a boy or a girl, but Rory shook her head.

“We don’t know. We decided to wait and see what we get.”

“I mean, so long as the kid has ten fingers and ten toes, that’s the important thing,” added Jess, putting his arm around Rory’s shoulders to hug her close. “Gender is whatever.”

“For the kid’s sake, I hope their gender isn’t whatever,” said Lorelai thoughtfully. “Far easier if they’re one thing or the other, I always think.”

Jess rolled his eyes almost in perfect unison with his uncle as Rory laughed and then turned her attention back to the sonogram picture her boyfriend had slipped into her hand. They were having a baby, it hit her all over again every time she saw the image, and as scary as it was, it was pretty damn amazing too.

“Oh, is that the baby?” asked Miss Patty, suddenly at Rory’s shoulder.

She was all over the picture in a second, calling to Lulu to come see. Kirk came over with his girlfriend, and then two or three other patrons of the diner. Rory didn’t mind, not when they were all saying such nice things, and checking all was well with both her and the baby. She wasn’t sure she necessarily deserved all this kindness, but she was glad to have it all the same.


	22. Chapter 21

Phone calls could be expensive, but a single stamp for a letter wasn’t too bad. This was why when they left New York, Rory had agreed to keep in touch with Mrs Rossini mostly via the mail. Writing was something she loved to do and she could put so much down on paper that would take way too long to say in a long distance phone call that neither party could afford.

Rory had just finished up her latest epistle to Mrs R when Jess got in from work. She was eager for him to read it and sat at her desk watching, with coffee in hand, as he laid back on her bed with his arm behind his head smiling at each passage. The letter contained all the things that had been happening in their lives, the scan for the baby, Rory’s job at the book store, and how Mrs R had been so right to think that everyone who cared for Rory and Jess would be supportive of their situation given half the chance. She had conveniently glossed over Emily, Jess noticed, but he wasn’t going to mention it when he was done reading. Instead he just found another smile for the closing statement, that bore warm wishes for Mrs Rossini and was signed off ‘from Rory, Jess, and the bump’.

“If that were any cuter I’d throw up on principle,” he rolled his eyes as he handed the letter back to Rory.

“If it’s baby-related it’s supposed to be cute,” she stuck out her tongue at him whist shoving her letter into its envelope.

“Or ironically has something to do with puke,” said Jess with some consideration. “Think about it, morning sickness when you’re pregnant, and then the baby comes and they can be pretty projectile, vomit-wise”

“This is not a nice conversation,” Rory shook her head. “New topic, how was your day at the diner?”

“Same old, same old,” Jess shrugged as he resumed his position relaxing on the bed. “Lane is still unbearably crazy over Zach. I mean, I know it’s rough for her, telling him how she feels and having him just blank her like nothing happened, but she really needs to stop thinking of me as one of her girl-friends,” he sighed, putting a hand to his forehead that ached just thinking about the conversations his fellow server had tried to influct upon him.

“Aaaw, poor Jess,” Rory mocked lightly as she came over, perching on the edge of the bed beside him. “It’s a good thing I know that you’re all man.”

That caused a smirk that she had expected as he peered at her through his fingers. His other hand grabbed hers and pulled her gently forward until she was lying across his chest, face almost equal with his own.

“You sure you know that?” he asked her, quirking an eyebrow. “’Cause I’m willing to provide all the evidence you need,” he said, fingers trailing down from her shoulder to her hip.

“Well, maybe I could use a little further proof,” she considered with a grin, already working on unfastening his shirt. “I wouldn’t want to be mistaken about something so important.”

Jess’ head came up off the pillow so his lips met hers, and he started to kiss Rory quite thoroughly. He was a little surprised when she pulled back very suddenly, a frown on her delicate features. Something was wrong.

“Rory?” he said, sitting up fast as she shifted away, one hand dropping to her abdomen. “Rory, what’s wrong?”

“I... Nothing,” she suddenly laughed, realising exactly what was happening. 

“Here,” she said, grabbing his hand and putting it where her own had been. “I’m not sure if you’ll be able to...”

“I can, a little,” he said, a wide smile taking over his face. “That’s amazing.” 

“That’s our baby,” she giggled. “I mean, I thought I felt something before but the book said it was unlikely this early. I talked to Mom about it and she did say she felt me move as early as sixteen weeks, but from the outside there was nothing for a while longer...”

As awful as it may sound, Jess wasn’t listening. He couldn’t, not for as long as he could feel the movement against his hand. True enough it was very slight and if he hadn’t known for sure there was something there he may not have noticed it. This was their kid, and trust it to be the less-common case when it came to development. Of course, the very fact any child of his and Rory’s was being active and excitable as early as possible was kind of bizarre, given both of their preferences for sitting still just reading or something. Mostly Jess was just bowled over once again by how incredible it was that he and Rory had done this, created a life, a child that would be born in just five months time.

“Jess?” she prompted when he was quiet too long.

“Sorry, what?” he checked.

Rory couldn’t help but smile at his expression. She loved that he was this into the whole baby thing. Most girls would panic about getting pregnant the way she had, all unplanned and when their relationship had just started anew. Even Rory had worried what Jess would say when they found out she was having his baby, but he had been the best so far, and she couldn’t see that changing. He was as amazed as she was by every new thing that happened, and happy to take this journey with her to the end. This time Jess wasn’t going anywhere, he promised her that and Rory believed him implicitly. It was wonderful to know they were in this for the long haul this time, even if the circumstances had come as a surprise and were not exactly ideal.

“I wasn’t saying anything important,” she assured him with a smile. “You wanna head over to the diner, tell Luke what just happened?”

“Don’t you wanna tell your mom first?” asked Jess, sure that Lorelai would always be the first to know when it came to just about anything that happened with this kid, after him and Rory obviously.

“She’ll be there soon anyway,” Rory considered. “She usually swings by on her way home from the inn...”

She stopped talking when the phone rang in the hall. Rory was just saying what a strange coincidence it would be if it was her mom calling right when they mentioned her and was still smiling about that when she picked up the phone and accepted the call. The expression fell clean off her face when she realised who was really on the end of the line.

“Hello, Rory.”

Jess watched his girlfriend from the hallway and frowned a little when he heard her speak again.

“Hello, Grandma,” she said coolly.

Immediately Jess went over to Rory’s side and leaned in a little to hear what was being said to her. On any normal occasion that might be considered an invasion of privacy, even for a couple as close as they were, but this was important, this involved him too.

“Rory, I... How are you?” said Emily awkwardly.

“Fine, thank you,” her granddaughter replied politely but not exactly kindly.

It was a couple of weeks now since the Friday Night Dinner in which Lorelai had gone alone to see her mother and had Emily break down all over her. She had advised that an apology needed to be made, and that Rory wouldn’t be coming around until it happened. The next Friday, Rory had called Grandpa and apologised saying she wouldn’t be coming over for drinks. Still, no word came from Grandma and Rory just tried not to think about it. Now, apparently the great Emily Gilmore had gotten over herself at least enough to call. That was a miracle in and of itself, at least Jess thought so as he listened in to see what came next.

“You know you have to look after yourself now that there’s more than just your own health to think about,” she said practically. “I know when I was pregnant with your mother...”

“Grandma,” Rory cut her off fast. “I appreciate the call, and the asking after my health and everything, but nothing’s changed. If you can’t accept that...”

“I’m sorry, Rory,” said Emily very suddenly.

Jess wondered if he looked as stunned as he felt. Rory certainly looked startled by the apology, but she was soon smiling too.

“Are you?” she checked. “Because as much as I love you, Grandma, I can’t... I can’t let you be a part of my life if you’re always going to be thinking badly of me, or Jess, or this innocent baby that we’re having. Nobody deserves that.”

“I know,” said Emily, something that made Jess’ eyes go wide from shock. “I won’t lie to you, Rory, I’m not thrilled to know that Yale is on hold, that your career may never amount to anything, that you and that... that hoodlum are together,” she said with no lack of disgust. “But you are my granddaughter and... and I don’t want to be absent from your life. I, I can’t stand the thought of losing anybody else.”

There were tears in her voice she was trying her damnedest to dispel, but Rory could still hear them. She knew how upset her grandma was, it was perhaps just about equal to how she was feeling herself. As much as she was still somewhat mad at Emily for all the awful things she said, for the way she judged everybody and everything without even allowing the chance for explanation, she did understand that her grandmother probably felt bad now. Besides, she just wanted what was best for Rory. She couldn’t seem to see that a part of that best of everything was Jess.

“You’re not losing me,” said Rory softly. “I don’t want that either, Grandma, but... but you just have to accept that I’m an adult now. Okay, so I haven’t been out there in the world as much as some people, and I’m still young yet, but this whole pregnancy thing is making me grow up pretty fast, it’s having that effect on the both of us,” she explained, her free hand gripping Jess’ own where it sat at her waist. “It’s not an ideal situation, we know that, but we’re making it work, and it would be so much easier if you could just try to understand and be supportive.”

Emily was quiet a long time. Rory wasn’t sure if it was because she was thinking seriously about what she had said or just because she was trying not to be emotional. Either way, she let the silence continue until her grandma was able to speak again.

“You can’t expect me to be ecstatically happy, Rory,” she said eventually. “I won’t pretend to be, so please, don’t ask me to.”

“I’m not asking for cartwheels,” she assured her, not even noticing the way Jess smirked at the imagery of Emily performing that particular move. “Just a little acceptance and understanding. I want you to be part of my baby’s life, you and Grandpa. You’re going to be great-grandparents. That should be a big deal.”

“It is,” Emily agreed. “And thank you, Rory, for being so grown up about all of this. It’s more than I managed when you were here last.”

“Well, that’s very big of you to admit, Grandma, thank you,” said Rory definitely. “Um, I should really go now, but I’m glad you called.”

It was clear Emily was smiling when she spoke next.

“So, I’ll see you on Friday?”

Rory felt Jess’ arm tense around her at that remark. Honestly, she wasn’t that keen herself, even after the apology. Just because Grandma was sorry, it didn’t make up for the way she judged and yelled without a thought for anybody else’s feelings. Rory wasn’t sure she could deal with going right on back to Friday Night Dinners as if everything was fine. There was no way Emily would manage to be one hundred percent civil to Jess that fast and easily. She could still be so mean to Lorelai sometimes, and they were mother and daughter. Rory sighed.

“Um, maybe not this Friday, Grandma,” she said. “I mean, we will come at some point, some Fridays, but Jess and I both work shifts and with the pregnancy stuff and everything... We’ll arrange something soon,” she promised, the best she could do right now.

“Very well,” said Emily coolly. “You just let me know when you have a window and can fit me in.”

She hung up shortly afterwards and Rory didn’t even care that she might’ve slammed her own phone down a little harder than was necessary. There were tears welling in her eyes that she despised for being there, and a lump in her throat the size of New Brunswick. Jess didn’t say a word, he didn’t need to. Pulling Rory into his arms, he just held her until she got her bearings. He wasn’t sure if she would actually cry or just get mad or what. Sometimes Rory had a habit of snapping back to happy as if nothing happened, and then the real emotion would come out later, when a person was least expecting it. Jess was learning to cope with that better now than he ever had before. He figured if he could handle the mood swings inherit in both a Gilmore and a pregnancy, he could handle anything.

“So, we were going to the diner,” said Rory a few moments later, pulling back to see his face, her hands on his shoulders as she smiled widely. “What?” she checked when Jess only frowned at her.

“Nothing,” he said a moment later, shaking his head.

He knew better than to make a big deal if she didn’t want to. Later there would be an outburst, over something and nothing no doubt, and then they would figure it out. In the meantime, Rory had decided she wanted to go on with her day in the happy news of kicking babies and sweet kisses. That was fine by Jess, for now anyway.


	23. Chapter 22

Life had settled into a rhythm. It was very different to how things had been before Rory ran off to New York only to return with a boyfriend and a baby bump. It was different again to the life she and Jess had lived over the summer in the city too. This was a new kind of rhythm, but so far it seemed to be working.

Since both Rory and Jess worked odd shifts instead of regular days, and there were appointments to be kept and things to do all of the time, she had come up with timetables much like she had when she was in school. Colour-coded charts and tables had got her through Chilton and the first year of Yale, so Rory didn’t see how they could fail in helping with her pregnancy. She had it all laid out, each month, each week, each day, divided down into boxes of various colours. There was red for when she worked at the book store and yellow for when Jess had a shift at the diner. Walmart was green, and doctor’s appointments were blue, with various other events scribbled in other colours that all meant something.

Jess lost track of the codes that Rory used on her lists and charts, but it didn’t matter. He knew where he had to be and it made her happy to feel she had at least some control over what was happening. He could understand that. So much of what was going on was out of their hands, the whole pregnancy thing and everybody’s reaction to it. It was still a relief that Luke and Lorelai were being so understanding, but almost a month after Emily Gilmore’s apology there had still been no Friday night dinners. Rory talked to Richard by phone every week, but simply would not face her grandmother. Since Jess wasn’t exactly eager to go back into the dragon’s den either, he said nothing about it. Lorelai on the other hand was not so easily silenced.

“I know she hurt you, honey, believe me, I understand that better than anybody else ever could,” she told her daughter as they sat across the kitchen table this morning. “But she did apologise, I think she’s willing to try.”

“Has she talked to you since?” asked Rory with a frown, not liking the idea of Mom and Grandma potentially conspiring against her.

“Only once,” Lorelai admitted. “She called me a week or so ago, asking if you were okay and when I thought you might be in touch. She’s not always the greatest and most sensitive person, hon, but she’s not a monster, and she does love you.”

“She loves you too, but you were never thrilled about Friday night dinners,” Rory pointed out, fiercely colouring in another box on the next month’s planner. “I want things to be okay, I really do, but... but every time I think about the way she reacted I get so mad all over again,” she said, her free hand dropping instinctively to her expanding belly.

At almost twenty weeks now, it was pretty obvious to anyone that Rory Gilmore was pregnant. Fastening regular clothes wasn’t an issue yet, but some of her tighter things just weren’t an option anymore. It was strange to look into the mirror and see a bulge where her ridiculously flat stomach always was before, but it was nice too. Her baby was in there, a little Rory or a little Jess, a perfect combination of the two. Just thinking of that brought a smile back to her lips.

“I’m not saying you have to be best buds with Grandma right now,” Lorelai assured her, putting her hand on top of Rory’s where the baby was growing. “But I just think maybe it’s time to build some bridges, at least give her a chance to be a decent human being for a couple of hours? If she can’t be at least civil and polite during one dinner, you run for the hills and I’ll be with you the whole way, but she already missed out on so much with me and you. I don’t want history to end up repeating.”

Rory knew what she meant, she couldn’t not. Things had always been strained between Emily and Lorelai, but it all just imploded when Rory came along, the pregnancy had torn the last shreds of their relationship asunder. If Rory let that happen with herself and her Grandma, it wouldn’t achieve anything. She ought to try and be the bigger person, and she knew it too.

“Maybe I’ll call her soon,” she sighed. “Right now we should go get ready. Jess will be home in a half hour and I don’t want to be late for our appointment.”

Lorelai smiled and got up when her daughter did. Today was the next baby scan and she was just pleased as punch to get to go along and see how the little one was progressing. The truth was she did offer to sit this one out, no matter how badly she kind of wanted to go. It occurred to her that maybe Rory and Jess should be allowed to go about their business with their baby and not have her interfering. It had completely stunned her when Jess had been the one to say she really ought to be there.

“Really?” Lorelai had frowned as his seemingly extreme reaction to her offer of non-attendance. “Why? Why do I have to be there?”

“Because... Rory needs you,” he said definitely, even as the young woman herself looked bemusedly between her boyfriend and her mother. "What? You don’t think you earned it? You’re letting us stay here, on rent that barely covers what we eat never mind the utilities. You raised Rory by yourself, you didn’t flip out too badly when she came home pregnant, and after the first ten minutes, you didn’t even blame me for what happened. I know what it is to have a crappy set of parents, but you coped alone and you have been everything to Rory. She won’t say anything right now, because she’s scared that if she asks you to come it’ll upset me, but it doesn’t. You should be there, Lorelai. You might be the only blood-grandparent this kid is really going to know, but I can’t imagine you’ll ever let him or her feel like they missed out on anything.”

It was quite the impassioned speech and it was hardly surprising that it had made Rory cry. Lorelai had welled up a little herself, teasing Jess that with words like that he really ought to be a writer. He only rolled his eyes and muttered something about going to work as he left the room fast.

Jess worked a lot, and sometimes it seemed like too much, but they needed the money so Rory couldn’t exactly complain. Sometimes when he was at the diner or Walmart she was at the book store and time passed quickly. Of course she had to take time to rest and had blown through so much of her book collection recently in a massive re-reading exercise. She actually had a plan to get through the whole lot before the baby came, and yet, it seemed impossible as Andrew allowed her a staff discount and Jess indulged her, so the collection continued to grow.

Still, the savings they needed were piling up. It wasn’t enough to call themselves anywhere close to rich, not even entirely comfortable, but they were doing okay. They were going to have to start buying things soon, a crib and a stroller and such, but somehow that hadn’t happened yet. Rory guessed they were just so busy trying to figure out what they were doing now, what would occur when the baby came was still a blur. There was no concrete plan regarding Yale or where they would live. There should be, but there never seemed a good time to bring it up, and honestly, Rory was scared to try and plan it only to realise it couldn’t work.

Jess was feeling the same and also not saying a word. On his way back from the diner to the Gilmore house, he was crunching numbers in his head, money, distances, logistics. Rory would have to stop work in the next couple of months, he was almost certain. The diner and Walmart were still fine for him, but he would also need to be around when Rory needed him, especially when the baby was actually born. They had from the due date in early March to the start of Yale at the end of August, and then they would have to be ready, organised, and planned. They hadn’t even begun, and Jess had no idea how to broach the subject, not with Rory so emotional as she often was with her pregnancy hormones and everything. She was the planner and the list maker, but Jess couldn’t help but wonder if the thousand and one timetables and work-shift rostas on the walls of their bedroom were just a distraction, something to keep Rory busy so she wouldn’t have to plan further ahead, to a time when things were even more complicated, when   
there was actually a tiny bundle of joy in their lives to take care of. Of course, now wasn’t the time to bring all that up, not when they had their next scan to get to.

“Hey,” Rory greeted him with a smile and a kiss just as soon as Jess got in the front door.

“Hey,” he replied. “You almost ready to go?”

“Mom’s just getting changed and then we’re off,” she nodded.

Jess leant back against the wall to wait for Lorelai.

“By the way, Lane says she wants to see pictures from today.”

“Oh, well, of course. I feel like such a crappy friend lately. You see more of her than I do.”

“You’re not a crappy anything,” Jess assured her the moment she looked sad. “You’ve been working or tired from working and you have two people at a time to think about,” he said, his fingers running lightly over her stomach. “Besides, Lane is so distracted by her whole new romance thing, I’m not sure she’s actually noticing anybody but Zach most of the time.”

“It’s sweet,” Rory grinned at that. “I mean, I know they’re not an obvious couple, but hey, some people might say that about us,” she shrugged.

“And how wrong they would be,” he said definitely, dropping a kiss on her lips.

She was still smiling when they parted.

“This is so weird and exciting,” she said, holding onto his hand as they waited around in the hallway. “I mean, we saw him or her before but now... our baby is actually going to look like a baby,” she smiled.

“I think that’s the idea,” Jess agreed with some amusement. “You still wanna keep the whole gender thing a surprise?” he checked, already pretty sure he knew the answer to that.

Rory had been so certain that she didn’t want to know before, but over the last few weeks her attitude seemed to shift. She hadn’t said anything specific, but Jess had noticed things. Lorelai would point out cute baby clothes in a magazine and Rory would sigh saying she wouldn’t know whether to buy the pink or the blue. He caught her flipping through a baby names book when he went to meet her at the store a few nights ago, and she rambled on for fully ten minutes about not liking any of the unisex names she found.

Then there was the fact that Kirk was running a book on the gender of the Gilmore-Mariano baby already. It was pretty clear that every time Rory laughed about that particular situation it was fake. She wasn’t happy about people making guesses about her child when she was having to guess herself. The longer this pregnancy went on, the more she wanted to know the truth.

“It does seem kind of silly wasting the opportunity to find out,” she considered going into Jess’ arms. “I mean, the technology has the power to tell us, and it would save on always having to say ‘he or she’ and ‘him or her’, plus we could start buying things without worrying about the colours and styles...”

“Rory,” said Jess, lifting her chin on his finger until she met his eyes. “You don’t have to convince me. I’m fine with us finding out or not. You can make this decision and I promise you I won’t care which choice you make.”

She smiled widely at that, putting her hand to his cheek then running her fingers back through his hair.

“Have I told you lately that you’re wonderful and I love you so much?”

“You might’ve mentioned it.”

They were kissing when Lorelai finally came down the stairs, catching them in a moment of passion so intense they really hadn’t noticed she was there until she coughed deliberately loudly.

“Wow, that was a heck of a frog I had there,” she dead-panned, even as the young couple parted, with Rory blushing as she was wont to do. “You guys ready to go now?”

“Yes, and we made a decision,” her daughter told her. “We want to know the sex of the baby.”

“Oh, well, that’s cool,” Lorelai smiled. “It will make talking about Baby MG a little easier.”

“And hopefully it will stop you from calling him or her that too,” said Jess hopefully.

Lorelai shook her head; “Oh, I doubt it.”

* * *

“Hello? Hello? Who is this?” demanded Paris when nobody seemed willing to respond. “Because you sound like a possum or a racoon in distress!”

Rory laughed through her happy tears then and fought in vain to find her voice.

“Paris, it’s me,” she told her shakily.

“Rory? Is something wrong?” she asked then. “Did James Dean run off like a scared dog? Because I told him I would hunt him down and cut off his...”

“No, everything’s fine!” said Rory quickly. “Paris, I’m just happy. It’s a pregnancy thing, kind of hard to explain.”

“Oh,” Paris sighed. “Actually it’s fairly simple. Your body is suffering through hormonal changes that affect your levels of neurotransmitters, which are chemical messengers in the brain, plus the broad range of feelings you may have about becoming a parent,” she recited like a text book.

Rory smiled even though she couldn’t be seen on the other end of a phone.

“Thank you, Paris,” she said then. “I just thought I’d call, catch up with you. How are you doing with everything?”

“As well as you would expect,” her friend explained. “I’m on top of my classes, coping fairly well with the Asher situation given the circumstances, and I got the religion beat at the Yale Daily News.”

“That’s really great, Paris, I’m happy for you” Rory assured her.

“Thanks. Well, I would ask how you are but a whole conversation about swollen ankles and puking would probably not be all that stimulating for me.”

“How about if I told you I went for my twenty week scan today and found out the sex of the baby?”

Rory didn’t really expect Paris to be all that excited about whether she was having a boy or a girl. The truth was, Rory didn’t think she cared herself until they finally got the news. Everybody was so happy to know the truth so far, well, except for those who lost out in Kirk’s pool, of course.

“Well? C’mon, Gilmore, don’t keep me in suspense, boy or girl?” Paris urged her.

“A little boy,” Rory admitted at last, grinning from ear to ear.

She really had been undecided on whether she would be more pleased with the news she was having a boy or a girl. A little version of her or of Jess, either would be nice. She was strangely thrilled when the doctor had admitted it was a boy she was carrying. A prince rather than a princess, Miss Patty had said when she heard. Rory’s eyes had gone to Jess then. Though nobody was likely to think of him as the Prince Charming type, she certainly did, and she hoped their son looked like his father and grew up to be the same kind of man as him and Luke were already.

“Congratulations, Rory, you are bringing another mysoginistic animal into the world,” Paris sighed heavily. “On the other hand, I suppose with the brains and talent he might glean from yourself and Jess, and the strong female influence from Lorelai and myself, he could be the decent kind of man that the world needs, another great mind and a gentleman, like Richard or Asher.”

Rory smiled all the more at that and thanked Paris for her eventual kind words. They talked some more about how things were at Yale and how Rory was coping with her pregnancy. She expected to feel jealous during tales of the Yale Daily News and such, and that feeling was there, but it was vastly over-shadowed by the joyous news that her baby was still totally healthy and good, and apparently a boy.

When her call to Paris was over, Rory stepped out of the bedroom to find Jess making dinner. It was just the two of them tonight, since Luke was working and Lorelai had gone straight over to Sookie’s place after dropping Rory and Jess at home.

Rory knew Sookie hadn’t been feeling right the last few days, because her mom had told her so. When they met up at the doctor’s office it wasn’t all that surprising, but the news that Sookie announced the second they saw her was a shock - she was pregnant too! She seemed to be ecstatic and terrified all at the same time, and Lorelai had offered to take her home and be there when she told Jackson. Though he had been the one asking for four-in-four at one time, having Davey had shown them both how expensive and time consuming even one baby could be. Another already was going to be a real shock to the system, and Rory sympathised. She sometimes worried how she and Jess were going to cope with just one kid.

“How’s our favourite psychopath?” asked Jess with a wicked smirk as Rory sat down at the table.

“Paris is fine,” she told him with a look that would have been severe if she could just stop smiling, but she couldn’t. “Jess, can I ask you something serious?”That sure got his full attention. Turning the heat down under the pan on the stove, he wiped his hands and then sat down on the opposite side of the table.

“How serious are we talking?” he checked.

“Well, not life and death serious, but pretty serious,” said Rory with some consideration. “It’s about Grandma.”

Jess wasn’t sure if he was relieved about the ‘not life and death’ part or more nervous because Emily Gilmore’s name just came up. Taking a breath, he swallowed hard and nodded for Rory to go on.

“Well, we haven’t talked in almost a month, and she did apologise and everything,” she consider aloud. “I just... Even when Mom talked to me earlier, I was so sure I wasn’t ready to face her, but now... now we’re having a little boy, and I have these amazing pictures of that boy, that little man who’s you and me, and he’s going to be her great grandson and...”

“And you want us to go over to the house and share,” Jess finished for her.

“Would you mind?” she asked nervously. “I mean, I’m not talking about reinstating dinner every Friday, but sometimes maybe, to see Grandpa at least, and if things went okay maybe Grandma too?”

Jess didn’t want to go. In truth, he didn’t want Rory to go either, not if she was going to get upset again. That wasn’t good for her or for the baby, which meant it wasn’t good for Jess either because it led to him wanting to punch somebody. That phone call a month ago in which Emily apologised had been met with too much acceptance. It was one week later, after an ‘I Love Lucy’ marathon no less, that the real emotion of it had come out. Rory had cried over some dumb plot point that didn’t even matter and later confessed it all tied back to her grandmother. It made Jess want to hate the woman for making Rory shed even a single tear, but he was only going to make matters worse if he made a fuss here. She wanted to build bridges, and he accepted that, even if he didn’t understand it.

“Rory, if you want to go to Friday night dinner, you can go to Friday night dinner, I’m not the boss of you,” he said definitely, picking up her hand from the table and squeezing it. “And if you want me to come along, I will do that too,” he said, kissing the hand he held. “Because I love you, you crazy woman”

“And I love you, you wonderful hoodlum,” she replied, giggling through her words even as tears filled her eyes.

The hormonal thing was driving her crazy, but Rory Gilmore was feeling pretty happy right about now. For a situation as complicated and messy as this was, it was mostly working out okay so far.


	24. Chapter 23

Rory made her decision to call her grandmother and did it immediately, knowing she might change her mind or think about it too much if she didn’t just do it. Emily seemed surprised but pleased by the sudden call and was only to happy to hear Rory say she would like to come to Friday night dinner this week.

“You realise I’m going to bring Jess,” said Rory, unwavering in her tone.

“Well, of course you will,” replied Emily, perhaps through gritted teeth though on the phone Rory couldn’t be sure. “Perhaps your mother would like to bring her boyfriend also,” she offered. “It’s Luke, isn’t it?”

“Er, yeah,” Rory replied vaguely, a little thrown by the whole thing.

She really hadn’t meant to accept the invitation on behalf of her Mom and Luke, it was never her intention at all. The ‘yeah’ seemed to come out all by itself and if anything it was a confirmation that Luke was the correct name, nothing more. Still, it seemed too late as her grandmother said she would make arrangements for dinner for the five of them, and politely said she would send a message to the pool house so Richard would know to expect them for drinks too.

Rory had been in a state of shock about the way the whole conversation ran for fully ten minutes after she got off the phone. She went straight to the diner to tell Jess what occurred and when Luke heard he had been fast-shuffled into attending also he dropped a glass that shattered spectacularly across the floor. A round of applause went around the diner and Jess rolled his eyes as he fetched the brush and dustpan to clean up the mess.

“Does your mother know about this?” Luke had asked her, at which point Rory admitted she didn’t but that she planned to tell her just as soon as she got home from the inn.

It was clear Luke was trying to find a way out of this whole thing before it was too late. Rory felt sorry for him, but moreover for herself. She kind of wanted both her mom and Luke at dinner, even if that did seem selfish. It must have shown on her face because just as soon as Jess returned to the scene and realised what was happening he fixed his uncle with a look.

“Y’know you guys coming to dinner would really help out a lot,” he told Luke. “Extra support for Rory against the judgmental Mrs Gilmore, plus if she’s focusing a little wrath on Lorelai’s dating choices, that gets me off the hook some.”

It wasn’t much of an argument since Jess was pretty much telling Luke he was likely to be sharing the load when it came to Emily’s venomous tongue. Nobody would willingly take that on, but after casting a look at his nephew, Luke was forced to glance at Rory and then he knew he just had to suck it up. That innocent face had been melting his heart since the woman was only a little girl. The pout and doe eyes combo was all but deadly. Luke had rolled his eyes and given in with minimal grumbling after that.

“Fine!” he said, practically snatching the brush from Jess’ hands and cleaning up the smashed glass himself. “God knows what I’m gonna wear, and I’ll probably get judged for my truck and my hair and not raising you to get married before you make babies...” he continued on, even as he headed out back with the remains of the glass.

Jess leaned over the counter towards Rory, grabbing her hands up in his own and planting a kiss on her lips.

“Good work, blue eyes,” he told her. “I wasn’t so sure I could make him cave on my own.”

“That’s why we’re a team,” she replied, returning his kiss.

Lorelai had no choice but to be okay about dinner after encouraging Rory to attend anyway. Once she knew Luke was willing (if willing was really the correct word) the deal was made.

So it was that the foursome arrived at the Gilmore mansion at six o’clock for drinks with Richard before heading in to dinner with Emily for seven. Rory was glad enough to be seeing Grandpa and her smile was genuine as they went straight to the pool house, her fingers entwined with Jess’ own. Lorelai copied the act, grabbing Luke’s hand in hers and pulling him around the side of the house. 

Richard Gilmore was pleased as punch to see his granddaughter and his daughter too, truth be told. He welcomed them with literally open arms and shook hands with both Jess and Luke. Though he obviously felt somewhat awkward about entertaining four in a small space that was barely adequate, things soon settled into something akin to pleasant comfortable conversation.

There was talk of books with Jess, the inn with Lorelai, and a brief moment of business advice for Luke that he took in relative good humour. All focus was soon on Rory, of course, as she produced sonogram pictures for her grandfather’s perusal. Lorelai felt strange about the whole thing, truth be known. When she herself fell pregnant at sixteen, things had got so screwed up, it brought it all home seeing her own baby girl show off her sonogram pictures, far happier tears coming to Richard’s eyes on this particular occasion. Luke squeezed Lorelai’s hand and gave her a smile when she looked his way. He had to know she was uncomfortable, but was determined to bring any comfort he could. She leaned his way, her head on his shoulder a moment as she whispered a quiet ‘thanks’.

“We’re having a boy, Grandpa,” Rory told him happily. 

“Really? A son and heir,” he smiled at Jess who shifted awkwardly at the phrasing.

It was all a little too blue blood for his taste, but he didn't say a word.

“Have you considered names yet?” asked Richard and suddenly Lorelai knew exactly where this was going.

“Oh no, not yet,” said Rory definitely. “That’s something me and Jess really need to discuss soon, but we only found out for sure that he was a he a few days ago,” she said, her hand resting on the curve of her pregnant belly. “When we decide, you’ll be one of the first to know.”

She knew very well he was gong to put his own name forward as a suggestion, and it wasn’t as if Rory hadn’t thought about it, but as she said it was a decision for and Jess to make, no-one else. Much easier not to talk about it here and now, she thought. Jess seemed to agree as he put his arm around her and gave her a grateful look.

The hour together passed too quickly and suddenly the clock on the mantle gave a chime for seven o’clock. Technically that meant they were already late getting to the main house for dinner with Emily and there was a flurry and a rush when they realised they really had to leave. Nobody was overly keen, and yet this had to be done, for Rory’s sake if nothing else. Air had to be cleared and bridges built, whether they liked it or not.

Outside the front door of the house, Luke straightened himself out as Jess stared at him like he had two heads.

“Seriously?” he checked.

“What? The amount of time you’ve been known to spend on your hair and you’re giving me crap for not wanting to meet my girlfriend’s mother with my shirt hanging out of my pants?”

“Now, now, boys,” said Lorelai, stepping between them to ring the doorbell. “Save the game faces for the actual enemy.”

“Not helping,” said Rory with a look right before the door opened and a maid ushered them all inside.

Their coats were being taken before Emily ever put in an appearance. Rory turned around and suddenly found her grandmother facing her, something resembling a smile on her face though it didn’t seem entirely genuine.

“Hello, grandma,” said Rory stiffly, unsure how to proceed.

“Rory,” she smiled, eyes softening as she looked only at her granddaughter for the moment. “It’s wonderful to see you. Better late than never, I suppose,” she added, unable to help tossing at least one barb.

“We’re sorry, we lost track of time,” Rory apologised. “I seem to lose track of a lot of things these days. Side effect, I guess,” she said, her hand going absently to her stomach as Jess stepped up beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“Mrs Gilmore,” he nodded once, knowing he had to be polite for Rory’s sake, determined to be so more than anything to piss Emily off and not give her the chance she really wanted to put him down.

“Jess,” she nodded back. “I hope you’ve been taking good care of my granddaughter in this difficult time.”

“Some people think it’s a joyful time,” he countered. “But yes, of course I have.”

“He really has,” Lorelai chimed in. “Damn, knew I should’ve brought a knife for all the tension,” she muttered before stepping in closer with boyfriend at her side. “Mom, you remember Luke.”

“Indeed,” Emily answered coldly, allowing Luke to take her hand and shake it gently. “Now, let’s all go through to the dining room since dinner is already beyond ready,” she said pointedly, leading everybody through.

Lorelai shared a look with Rory. So far, so polite apparently, though where the night would go from here was anybody’s guess.

* * *

Dinner at the Gilmore house went almost too smoothly. Emily wasn’t exactly warm and cuddly in her demeanour, but then nobody had really expected that. To begin with, everybody stuck to neutral topics so as not to cause any trouble. The weather, old acquaintances, and the inn were all mentioned until finally Emily fixed her gaze on Luke. Lorelai winced, scared to death of what her mother might say to her boyfriend, and yet she was surprisingly unscathing. She asked about his life and family, and his business too. She didn’t look overly impressed with what he told her, but she made very few comments as she ate her dinner alongside everybody else. Lorelai let out a breath she barely knew she had been holding when the ‘interrogation’ was over, and Jess tried not to smile when he heard her large expelling of breath.

Attention next turned to Rory as Emily asked how she was coping worth her pregnancy. She didn’t glance at Jess, not once, and that suited him just fine. He was happy enough to be ignored if that was how Emily wanted to play this, so long as Rory didn’t mind being the centre of attention. She looked a little awkward, embarrassed, Jess would guess, because no matter how many times she mentioned his name and even gestured across the table towards him, Emily’s gaze didn’t waver from Rory herself. It was as if looking at the guy that knocked up her precious angel of a granddaughter would cause her physical pain. Maybe it would, but Jess supposed they would never know for sure.

“So yeah, things are going pretty well,” Rory finished explaining to her grandma as they all moved from the table and through to the living room again.

Jess hung back on purpose and Luke slapped him on the back in a kindly uncle type of a way. Lorelai was giving him a kind of comforting smile that made Jess want to roll his eyes. He was fine, just so long as Rory was happy. He really didn’t care about having Emily’s good opinion, just a little civility to get them through the night, that was all.

“This is the latest picture,” Rory was saying as everybody else took a seat, Jess next to her on one sofa as Lorelai and Luke took the other.

In her chair at the head of the room, Emily inspected the sonogram picture and immediately tears sprung to her eyes.

“Isn’t it wonderful, the technology these days,” she said, trying to blink back her tears and failing miserably.

“Here you go, Mrs Gilmore,” said Luke, getting up to hand her the clean handkercheif from his pocket.

Emily looked startled but accepted the offer, and dabbed at her eyes, thanking Luke politely for his thoughtful gesture. Lorelai grinned at him as he rejoined her on the sofa. Mouthing to him that he did good. Luke rolled his eyes at that.

“Rory, I can already see that your son is going to be beautiful, just like his mother,” her grandmother told her, handing back to photograph. “A real Gilmore baby.”

Jess bit his tongue so hard he tasted blood, but Rory’s hand sliding into his and squeezing was at least some comfort. She had it under control, he just had to trust her, and that he did.

“Well, half Gilmore anyway,” she said easily. “Half Mariano.”

“Which will make him at least a quarter Danes, right?” said Lorelai, almost uncertain about her math there.

“I guess,” Luke shrugged. “You know that Jess is my nephew, right?” he checked with Emily who sniffed, perhaps from the crying, maybe just to be snotty, it was hard to tell which.

“Yes, I’m sure the girls did mention,” she said, still managing not to look at Jess even once. “It might be quite confusing for the child you know. I mean, will you be his great uncle or his step-grandfather?” she asked Luke.

“Er, well...” he floundered, looking to Lorelai for help.

“I think he’ll probably just be Luke,” she confirmed. “Or, y’know, angry diner man, that’s a pretty suitable name regardless your connections,” she smiled.

Emily didn’t smile back.

Conversation seemed to dry up after that. Rory summoned up a couple of over-done yawns, prompting Jess to ask, rather pointlessly, if she was tired. Lorelai suggested they get home already and so everybody moved towards the front door, the guys helping the girls into their coats on the way.

“I am truly glad you decided to come over, Rory,” said Emily then, reaching out to her granddaughter. “I... I’ve missed you,” she confessed, emotional all over again.

Since it didn’t take much to make Rory cry even on a good day since she fell pregnant, tears streamed from her eyes now as she hugged her grandma.

“I missed you too,” she told her, sniffling as they parted.

“So, will I see you again next Friday?

Rory wavered a moment before giving her answer.

“Maybe,” she said vaguely. “We’ll see how things work out.”

They left then without Emily saying another word. Jess couldn’t wait to escape and was only truly happy when he had helped Rory into the truck and joined her for the drive home. He watched Lorelai drive herself and Luke out of the front gates in her Jeep and then put the truck in gear to follow. He heard Rory sigh from the passenger side and he smiled.

“Well, that was fun,” he dead-panned, making her smile.

“It wasn’t as bad as I thought,” she confessed. “Grandpa was great, and even Grandma was... well, she didn’t really have a lot of time for you,” she admitted when Jess cast her a sideways look. “But at least she wasn’t yelling abuse in your face or trying to cut anything off.”

Jess had to laugh at her phrasing if nothing else, before confessing that he really didn’t care if Emily Gilmore never liked him or even if she never looked at him, so long as she wasn’t upsetting Rory. 

“You’re incredibly sweet sometimes,” his girlfriend told him happily.

“Hey, not so loud,” he mock-complained. “I have a rep to protect.”

“Yeah, because it’s going to do wonders for that bad boy rep of yours when you’re pushing a stroller through town,” she giggled.

Jess only smiled and concentrated on driving.

They were half way back to Stars Hollow before either of them felt the need to interrupt the comfortable silence that always seemed to settle between them somehow. Jess did have one question he was compelled to ask, even if it did start a fight, it had to be done.

“So, what Richard was implying about naming the baby after him,” he said warily. “There’s not going to be an international Gilmore incident if we don’t, right?

“Probably not,” Rory smiled, “but honestly? I wouldn’t mind Richard for a middle name, maybe?” she considered.

Jess looked thoughtful a moment and then nodded.

“Maybe,” he acquiesced. “But before you ask, I'm not looking to saddle the kid with my name either,” he said definitely.

Rory frowned.

“I like your name.”

“You wouldn’t if you were teased mercilessly for years about being a girl.”

She hadn’t thought about that. Rory got a lot of confused looks about her own name, but most people weren’t cruel. Sometimes she forgot that it would have been much tougher for Jess. He was raised in New York, with an absent father and a questionable mother, and apparently a name that nasty kids picked on. Rory knew they had their similarities, with her dad not being around so much and the odd contraction of her name, but she never felt she was hard done by. Jess had suffered so much and she hated that.

“I love that Mom named me after her, but even if we were having a girl, I’m not sure I’d go with Lorelai,” she admitted then. “I couldn’t name my son after Dad either...” she considered, before realising how uncomfortable she was making Jess. “Sorry, bad subject.”

“It’s fine,” he told her, but she couldn’t quite believe him. "I brought it up, my fault."

Their parents were definitely not a great topic. Jess still hadn’t told Liz about the baby or even that he was back together with Rory actually. She hadn’t told Chris either, purely because he hadn’t called in quite a while, and Rory hadn’t felt ready to call him. To be fair, Jess considered, none of them really deserved any special treatment after everything that had happened in the past.

'Our son is our business and nobody elses,' Rory thought, and then smiled.

“Our son,” she said aloud, looking at Jess. “It feels strange saying it, but good strange.”

He glanced across at her and caught a hold of her hand.

“Yeah, really good,” he agreed with a smile that only grew as Rory put their adjoined hands atop her pregnant belly.

When all was said and done, tonight hadn’t really been so bad. No matter what happened, Rory and Jess had each other, and their son on the way that they loved just as much as they loved each other. It wasn’t an easy road they were travelling, and it was probably only going to get harder yet, but right in this moment, it seemed pretty damn good, and neither Rory nor Jess could deny it.


	25. Chapter 24

Thanksgiving was coming up fast, and the people of Stars Hollow had plenty to be thankful for. There really wasn’t a person amongst the happy townsfolk who wasn’t pleased as punch to have their own Rory Gilmore back home. Of course, they all knew her being pregnant, by the former town hoodlum no less, was not the plan they had all had, including Rory herself. Still, the best was being made of just about everything. Jess was certainly proving himself to be much more of an adult than the last time he had been living in the Hollow. He worked hard and it was clear to anyone with eyes how much he loved Rory and cared about the child she was carrying.

The gossips were often talking about the Gilmore girls and their men. From Miss Patty and Babette to East Side Tilly, there wasn’t one amongst them that wasn’t vying for the latest news on the towns most beloved couples.

Luke had been such a rock for Lorelai when Rory was gone, and now that romance was blossoming beautifully. It had been noticed that Lorelai spent a lot of nights in the diner apartment with her man, leaving Rory and Jess alone at the Gilmore house. There were general rumblings, wondering about Lorelai being the next to fall pregnant, the somewhat confusing scenario that could lead to one baby having an aunt or uncle even younger than he or she was.

Kirk had run a book on the gender of the Gilmore-Mariano baby already, and was now considering starting one for the assumed Gilmore-Danes kid’s sex as well, in spite of the fact there had been no confirmation of that particular pregnancy. That never stopped the folks in Stars Hollow, and everybody knew it.

For the four at the centre of the gossip, it was all highly amusing to hear what was supposed to be happening in their lives. So much was manufactured, but none of it malicious, so there was little to no point in making a fuss. Things had certainly fallen into a nice rhythm amongst the two couples. Rory worked her shifts at the book store, while Jess juggled the diner and Walmart, Lorelai continued to work on getting her inn off the ground with Sookie, and Luke was always on hand with the coffee pot or the hammer, as necessary.

Nobody spoke of the grandparents much. Emily and Richard were still estranged from each other, and the former more so than the latter was still somewhat estranged from Rory too. She made a point of calling her grandpa regularly still, but going over to the house was not yet a regular event. Emily said there was a standing invitation for any Friday they wanted to come, but since the reconciliation dinner four weeks ago, they had only been to one other and conversation had been stilted at best at Grandma's table.

Family were always a minefield, Jess had said. Rory knew why too, and it didn’t have as much to do with her grandparents as one might think. Liz still didn’t know about the baby. Rory wasn’t sure Jess’ mother even knew the two of them were back together. They had been talking on a semi-regular basis over the summer, but after Rory found out she was pregnant, she couldn’t remember more than two conversations half-overheard between Liz and Jess. He seemed to have completely given up on calling his mom, and she barely seemed to make an effort to call him either. It was a couple of days ago that she broached the subject while they were lying on the couch together watching a movie. He made some throwaway comment about the woman in said movie reminding him of Liz, and Rory carefully asked when the last time was he talked to his mother.

Jess went into evasive mode almost immediately and Rory let it go. It wasn’t really her business when and if Jess talked to his mother. After all, she was still putting off telling her dad about being pregnant. It was stupid really, she wasn’t even sure why she was doing it. It wasn’t as if she feared his disapproval. The great Christopher Hayden had got his girlfriend pregnant at sixteen, and then been pretty much an absentee father ever since. Rory knew she was lucky that he cared even in a small way, it was much more than Jess ever got, but that didn’t make it okay. She wasn’t comfortable with the idea of her father becoming an absentee grandpa too. Telling him was going to be delicate and she hadn’t felt comfortable enough yet to go through with it.

She had just past the twenty four week mark, over half way through her pregnancy, and Rory was amazed at how quickly the time seemed to have gone by, and how slowly at the same time. Somehow it seemed just five minutes since she was finishing up her first year at Yale, though in reality it was months ago. At the same time, the New York apartment, one flight of stairs from Mrs R, her job in a coffee shop, that all seemed like it was so very long ago, almost completely out of reach.

“Are you okay, Rory?” asked Andrew as she continued to stare off into space, the final two volumes for a new display still in her hands, where they had been for the past five maybe ten minutes now. “Should I get a chair? Call a doctor?” he checked worriedly.

“Oh, no, I’m fine,” she promised, shaking off her daze. “I’m sorry, I just... I was thinking. All in a world of my own, but nothing to worry about. Thanks, Andrew,” she smiled, glad of his concern even if it was unfounded.

“Well, in any case, now you’re done with the display you should head home,” he told her. “I’m closing up early anyway, given the holiday and all.”

“Okay, thanks... again,” she grinned, placing down the final books and then heading behind the counter for her coat. 

Wrapping up warm against the elements, she wished Andrew a happy thanksgiving and headed out. She checked her watch to see she was at least an hour early leaving. Jess would still be at the diner and she smiled widely as she headed off there to meet him. She was really looking forward to spending the next couple of days with nobody but Jess, her mom, and Luke, a proper family. WalMart had offered Jess double time to work over Thanksgiving, and as tempting as it was, he had promised Rory the holiday. It meant so much to her, and as crazy as it seemed to turn down more cash, some things were more important and Jess knew it.

Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthdays, none of it meant much when he was a kid living with Liz, but in Stars Hollow, they all had such significance. Even the days in between were given strange titles and meanings, complete with carnivals, dressing up, and other odd traditions. Jess hated a lot of that, much like his uncle before him, but any family event where he felt like he was a part of something, that actually felt pretty good. There was no way in hell he would ever admit it out loud, but Rory knew. She always had.

“Hey,” she grinned as she walked into the diner, glad of the warm air and sweet smells that met her cold nose.

“Hey,” Jess greeted her in kind as he walked by with an order for the table just beyond his girlfriend.

He barely stopped moving as he dropped a kiss on her lips and kept on going. Rory smiled at the efficiency as she moved to take a seat at the counter. Getting up on the stool took some serious effort even now, and she knew she had to take advantage of sitting there, watching Jess work while she had the chance. A few more weeks of growing exponentially in the belly area, and she would be confined to the lower chairs at the tables.

“I don’t know why you insist on being at the counter,” said Luke after watching her struggle a minute, almost offering help when suddenly she got herself seated under her own steam anyway.

“The view is better here,” she smiled, eyes following Jess as he moved back and forth before her.

He was smirking as he made his next pass. Luke just rolled his eyes.

“I had to ask,” he muttered, pouring Rory a decaff coffee and pushing it towards her. “You want anything to eat? Anything bordering on the healthy maybe?” he tried.

Rory bit her lip. Poor Luke. He was trying so hard to ensure she and the baby were well looked after. There was no doubting they were entirely loved and made a fuss of. His main concern was the copious amount of junk Rory liked to consume, just like her mother before her. He feared the child inside Rory being born with two-heads or pre-destroyed arteries. Nobody, including Luke, could even really explain why two heads was relevant, but he insisted the rest was. 

“I guess I could have a burger? That has salad stuff inside it as well as meat, right?” she said with a look.

Luke winced, knowing it was the best he was going to get. A little lettuce and tomato was hardly going to make a dent in amongst the years of fat, sugar, and carbs, but there was really no helping the Gilmores. From what Lorelai said, she hadn’t made all that much effort with her diet when she was pregnant with Rory. That had clearly influenced her daughter’s tastes, but they always seemed healthy enough. They certainly had plenty of energy between them, even Rory, and she had been off the caffeine for months now.

“One burger, with extra salad,” Luke emphasised with a smirk his nephew would’ve been proud of.

“And extra ketchup,” Rory insisted. “A tomato is a fruit,” she explained, causing Luke to laugh at her gall as he went out back to get her food.

Jess arrived in front of his girlfriend then and wasted no time in giving her another, longer, deeper kiss than the one by the door when she first came in.

“Hmm, I love the service here,” she grinned as they parted.

“You should. Y’know I charge the other customers extra for that,” he joked.

“Don’t say it too loud. Miss Patty will bring her chequebook next time she’s in for breakfast.”

Jess looked equal parts amused and grossed out, which pleased Rory since it had been what she was going for. She told her boyfriend how Andrew let her go early, and then remembered the letter in her pocket from Mrs Rossini. She pulled it out and sat reading it aloud to Jess while he wiped down the counter, made more coffee, and replenished the donuts while the diner was quiet. Luke appeared about half way through and presented Rory with her burger, which slowed down the reading but not by much.

“ _I miss you being here, my bambinos, but I am so happy to hear of your happiness in your real home. Promise me you will spare a thought for old Maria this holiday, and trust that she will be giving thanks for such a couple that came into her life and gave her such happy weeks and months as she will never forget_ ,” Rory finished reading, a tear creeping down her cheek that she had hardly been aware of.

“Hey,” said Jess when he noticed, reaching out a gentle hand to wipe the lone tear away. “What’s that for?”

“I don’t know,” Rory sniffed. “I just... She’s so alone, and I know she’s used to it, and she must have been just as alone before you moved into the apartment as she is now we moved out but... it just makes me think, how lucky we are to have a family, how dumb it is that people just stop talking to each other and over stupid, petty things...”

Jess caught on pretty fast then and let out a sigh.

“Rory, I know you wish things were better with your grandma, but it'll be fine,” he assured her, putting a hand over hers on the counter and squeezing. “She's not thrilled with what happened, but she'll get over it, eventually. I guess it means something that she's at least trying."

“But what about her and grandpa?” she asked then. “Almost forty years of marriage and now they’re living apart, barely talking to each other. It isn’t right!”

“But it’s their choice,” Jess reminded her. “Sure, it’d be great if they made things up, but if they don’t it’ll only be their own faults for not trying. You didn’t cause that.”

“I know,” she sniffled. “I just get so sad thinking about things, how people just get estranged and things fall apart. We’re so lucky Jess. So lucky to have my mom and Luke and this town.”

She completely broke down at that point, a mixture of pregnancy hormones, the situation with her grandparents, and Mrs Rossini’s letter combined, Jess was sure. He rounded the counter in a second and pulled her to him, her face buried in his shirt as she sobbed. Luke appeared from out back and frowned, but Jess gave him a signal that it was nothing serious to worry about. Still, Luke told him to take Rory home, he could finish up alone today.

Jess would usually argue. He didn’t like to cut short his shifts if he was getting full pay, but this was different. Rory needed to not be in public right now, and he needed to be there for her. Luke tossed Jess’ jacket over the counter to him and he let go of Rory for all of five seconds to pull it on. They set off for home with his arm around her shoulders and hers around his waist, walking in one of their usual comfortable silences. Jess kissed the top of Rory’s head for no particular reason other than he wanted to and she gave him a watery smile as they continued on.

Of all the couples they could have passed on their way home, it was an awkward moment when Rory heard raised voices and recognised Dean and Lindsay on the opposite side of the street. They were in full fight mode and she winced on seeing it. Jess noticed her tense and then look very deliberately away from the scene that he hadn't taken any real notice of until that moment. He scoffed at the dispaly and shook his head.

“She said she wasn't that stupid,” he muttered, getting Rory’s attention.

“She?” she prompted. “Lindsay?”

“Yeah, Lindsay,” Jess confirmed, knowing he had never told Rory about the conversation he had with the young Mrs Forester several weeks ago.

It was deliberate in a way, at least at first. There was already enough stress in their situation without bringing up Rory’s ex and the fact he was obviously still pining for her. Lately it just became not important enough to mention, at least until now when it actually came up as a relevant point.

“I met her outside the diner one Friday night, the one with the nasty Friday Night Dinner actually,” he noted. “Lindsay tried to tell me the two of us were the same, me and her. She thought just because Dean still had feelings for you, that I should feel as neglected and cheated as she did,” he shrugged as if it were nothing.

Rory didn’t agree.

“You... you don’t ever feel like that, do you?” she checked worriedly, stopping walking and forcing Jess to face her. “I don’t make you feel like a second choice, do I? I mean I know I kinda made a lot of comparisons in the beginning, when we first dated, but I never meant to, and certainly not now, I...”

“Rory,” he cut her off when she started to ramble, finding her a small smile that didn’t take all that much effort. “Not that you’re not adorable when you ramble and rant,” he told her, a hand at her cheek. “But I’m okay. I know you chose me, even before the baby, before anything else. You regretted what happened with him and you came to find me.”

“Because I love you,” she said definitely.

“And I know that,” he smiled warmly, eyes locked onto hers. “I don’t always understand it, but I do believe it, and I love you too, more than I could ever explain, more than I ever thought I could love anybody.”

“That’s good,” said Rory with a sigh of relief that he could well understand.

The worst thing for either of them right now was to have reason to believe there wasn’t as much love and devotion coming to them as they were giving out. Thankfully that wasn’t the case. They knew where they stood, they knew this was love, both for each other and for the life they created together.

“One more thing to be thankful for, huh?” said Jess, eyes sparkling with fun.

“Oh yeah,” said Rory with a grin as she leaned in to kiss his lips. “Y’know what else we could go be thankful for?” she said then. “The house will be empty for at least another hour...”

Jess laughed at her gall, then looked all too seriously towards the house and back at Rory as if calculating something.

“What?” she checked.

“I’m just trying to figure out which is faster, if we just run, or if I pick you up and carry you,” he mused, a grin breaking through his too-serious look way too fast.

Rory cracked up.

“I think its safer for everybody if we just walk...quickly,” she amended, suddenly feeling the only place she wanted to be was in their bed, proving that love they had been talking of just a moment ago.

Planting one last searing kiss on her lips, Jess grabbed Rory’s hand and they set off hurrying for home, laughing all the way like kids, despite the adult activities they had planned for when they got home. There really was just so much to be thankful for right now.


	26. Chapter 25

“Happy Thanksgiving!” said Lorelai with way too much glee, and a paper turkey in each hand.

Jess and Rory were a little startled having only just stepped out of their bedroom into the kitchen. The smell of good food cooking had finally roused them from a well-deserved lie in, but now apparently they had entered the Thanksgiving-themed twilight zone.

“How many coffees has she had?” asked Rory as her mother literally galloped around the kitchen, bobbing the paper turkeys on her fingers.

“Strangely, only two,” replied Luke as he shifted from checking the contents of the oven and a pan on the stove. “This is... I just... Why didn’t we do this at the diner where there’s enough space and... and less dancing in the food preparation area!” he snapped at Lorelai.

She stopped her movement a moment, looking like a guilty child, then bobbed the paper turkey on her right hand in Luke’s face.

“But you wanna be here,” she said in a squeaky voice that was clearly meant to be the bird, especially when she added a ‘gobble, gobble’.

Rory failed miserably at stifling a laugh and Jess wasn’t far behind. She recognised the decorations even if her boyfriend didn’t. Sookie always made those kind of place settings for special occasions. No doubt she made extras for what was going to be a very special Thanksgiving at the Gilmore house.

Previously, Lorelai and Rory would go to Sookie’s house, sometimes the Kims, even the grandparents. They also called in at the diner every year to eat too, but this year was different. Luke had decided it was time to spend a holiday with his own family now that he had a real one. Sure, he and Lorelai were only dating so far, no moving in together or anything serious like that, but that didn’t mean they weren’t entirely committed. Add into that he had helped raise both Rory and Jess in different ways and that those two were about to connect the whole family unit up by having a baby, and Luke had quite decided effort was needed. Hence cooking a full Thanksgiving dinner in the Gilmore house, which was fast turning into a nightmare.

“This is ridiculous!” he complained as he tried to move past Lorelai and couldn’t manage it without bumping the table. “Why could we not just do this at my apartment or in the diner?”

“Seriously, in the diner?” his nephew checked. “With all the floor to ceiling windows and half the town staring in at Stars Hollows cutest little foursome like a freak show?”

“We are cute,” Rory agreed, shrugging her shoulders.

“And the apartment is so... meh,” Lorelai made a face as she explained.

“I’m sorry my apartment is ‘meh’?” said Luke, wheeling around to face her. “What does that even mean?”

Jess pulled on Rory’s hand and led her through to the living room as the older couple bickered. They didn’t mean anything by their sniping and no doubt the making up in ten minutes time would be even more disturbing to witness than the mini-fight.

“So, this is a real family Thanksgiving, huh?” said Rory as they sat down together on the couch. “So far it’s kinda nice.”

“Like you haven’t had this before,” Jess rolled his eyes. “This whole town has been your family since you were a kid.”

There was a bitterness to his tone that Rory might’ve found offensive if she didn’t know for sure Jess never meant it that way. It was tough on him, though he didn’t usually like to talk about it. There were no special occasions for young Jess Mariano. Liz was a pretty crappy mother by all accounts, never making the big deal she should out of Jess’ birthday or Christmas or anything like that. He never really had a family, except for Luke who he had seen so little of until he was seventeen and came to live in Stars Hollow. Rory had always tried to make Jess feel like a part of something, like he mattered more than he seemed to believe he ever could. In some ways, this baby was probably the best thing that could have happened. Their son or daughter would always be connected to him and Jess would have the chance to build something special from the start, a relationship the like of which he never had with either of his own parents.

“Great! On top of everything I forgot the baster... and the ricer!” complained Luke too loudly from the kitchen.

Jess rolled his eyes as he got up from the couch, but couldn’t get away as Rory kept a tight grip on his hand and pulled.

“Don’t go in there,” she warned him. “It’ll be a massacre. Death by spatula or something!”

He turned back to her, leaning down to her level with a grin on his lips.

“It is almost too cute that you think a spatula is needed to cook a turkey,” he teased her, planting a kiss on her lips before she could complain about the comment. “But I wasn’t going in there anyway. I’m going over to the diner, get Luke the tools he needs from the apartment. Sound good?”

“Very good plan,” Rory nodded. “You’re very smart.”

“I have my moments,” he acquiesced, sparing her one more kiss before he left.

Jess shook his head at the bickering still going on in the kitchen, Lorelai asking what she could do to help, and Luke letting her know in no uncertain terms that the greatest help would be if she just left the kitchen altogether. Lorelai wouldn’t go, she was stubborn that way, and it became clear very quickly it was going to be a long process getting dinner prepared. The TV went on just before Jess left and he heard Rory cranking the volume as she watched the Macy’s parade. There was a smile on his lips as he exited the house, pulling his jacket tighter around him. It was cold and crisp outside, making the warmth and even the noise of the Gilmore house actually seem like somewhere he genuinely wanted to get back to. Jess never thought he’d see the day when he wanted to be such a family person, but then he never expected there to be people who wanted to have him be part of their situation. 

Hurrying over to the diner, he reached for the spare key in its usual hiding place. He got a real surprise when he found it wasn’t there. Frowning hard, Jess tried the door and was startled when it proved to be unlocked. There was no way in hell Luke had been so careless, not even when he was busy and stressed thinking about everything else. Somebody was inside the diner, more specifically the apartment by now, Jess suspected, since he couldn’t see anyone yet. There was no consideration of going back home to get help, he just pressed on. He crossed behind the counter, picking up the baseball bat secreted back there. In a place like Stars Hollow there really wasn’t any crime to speak of, but Luke liked knowing he had something handy just in case, hence the bat.

Jess ducked behind the curtain and peered up the stairs. There was definitely movement in the apartment above, and he took a deep breath before he crept slowly up the stairs. From the other side of the apartment door, he watched somebody walk past the frosted glass, and then he heard a voice singing along to the radio, a voice he knew too well. The bat dropped from his hand unnoticed. Jess thought about turning and running then, in fact he had his back to the door contemplating the stairs when the it swung open.

“Jess?” 

“Liz,” he greeted her coolly as he turned back to face her.

In a second she was flinging her arms around him, laughing and squealing as she fussed over her ‘baby boy’. Jess didn’t even lift his arms to hug her back, just let her get the greeting process out of her system. He meant what he said to Luke before, he didn’t hate his mother, not really, but he didn’t exactly like her much either. Liz never understood Jess, and most of the time she didn’t even seem to care that he existed. Just lately, since she supposedly got her life together, marrying the Etch-a-Sketch guy and making jewellery for Renaissance Fayres, she had started making a big deal about reconnecting. They had talked on the phone semi-regularly since the wedding in May, but since returning to Stars Hollow a few weeks back, Jess had been avoiding Liz’s calls and not making any of his own to her. Of course, as soon as she was done fussing, her first question was why they hadn’t spoken in so long, followed by why he was back here in the Hollow.

“Where’s your husband?” he countered as she led him into the apartment, half expecting to be told yet another relationship had broken up.

“Oh, T.J. is around somewhere. He likes to go out and explore,” she laughed, going back to the wanton destruction of Luke’s apartment apparently.

“What are you even doing here?” asked Jess as he watched her hunt for food and toss things in and out of bags. “Did you break in?”

“Break in!” Liz laughed out loud. “I knew where that spare key was long before you did, kid,” she explained, stopping her running around when she seemed to suddenly realise Jess hadn’t answered her questions.

She stopped in front of her boy, the kid that had grown into a man she supposed, and yet he still wore his hair too long and had on a leather jacket like Jimmy used to wear. She winced at the vision of him stood there, reaching out to push his fringe back behind his ear for him. He flinched away.

“Jess,” she sighed. “What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing that’s any of your business,” he said, looking anywhere but at her, hands shoved deep into his pockets.

“Don’t do that, don’t shut me out again,” she urged him. “Your father used to do that! And the next thing I knew he’d up and left us. I don’t want you turning out like Jimmy,” she shook her head sadly.

Something in Jess snapped then, he just couldn’t stop it.

“Yeah, well, I gotta hope I don’t turn out like either of my useless parents!” he yelled at her. “One thing’s for sure, Liz, when my son is born, I’m sticking around to help take care of that kid, and I’m gone treat him a whole lot better than you ever treated me!”

Liz was about to yell right back at him, angry and hurt as she was, until her brain finally caught up with precisely what Jess had said. This wasn’t a hypothetical kid he was talking about. He really was going to be a father.

“You idiot!” she said eventually, too loudly, too cruelly given how hypocritical she was being. “You... I can’t believe you would screw up some poor girl’s life like that! Oh my God, it’s happening all over again, just like your father. I knew you were going to turn out just like your father!” she complained, turning away and dropping down into a seat by the table.

“I am nothing like Jimmy, and thank God, nothing like you either!” Jess yelled right back at her, incensed by the attitude she dared to give him, after everything that had come before, how dare she! “Not that it’s any of your business, but I happen to love Rory, and no, this kid we’re having wasn’t planned, but we’re happy. Happier than I ever was as a kid being left home alone or kicked out into the street when you had a guy over, or told what a bad seed I was just because I was Jimmy Mariano’s son!” he screamed at her. 

All of it was true, every word. He didn’t hate Liz, but he did hate what he had gone through because of her. She wasn’t the only one to blame, but she was a big part of it. Just when he was turning his life around, just when Jess was starting to feel like he belonged somewhere, with someone, Liz had to show up and make him feel like that worthless child from too many years ago, in a run down New York apartment with too-small shoes on his feet and a stolen book in his back pocket.

“You don’t get to stand there and talk to me that way!” Liz yelled back at him, on her feet in a second, slapping his face for daring to be so harsh.

Jess wouldn’t strike her back, not ever. This was far from the first time she raised her hand to him, but he had worse from a long string of her exes. Those he had hit back, at least when he got big enough to try, but never Liz, never any woman. Still, he bit his tongue so hard it bled with a hundred other things he wanted to yell at her, with frustration that also brought tears to his eyes that he refused to shed. All Jess could do was turn and walk away, slamming the apartment door so hard in his wake, it was more surprising that the glass didn’t shatter.

Straight down the stairs with Liz’s nasty words still ringing in his ears and her hand print glowing on his cheek, Jess planned to go straight home, even as his mind raced and every nerve ending jangled with rage and frustration and pain. He was all the way to the Gilmores’ front door, reaching a hand to the knob to let himself inside when he noticed how badly he was shaking. There was no way he could control it, the overwhelming need to run overtook him. He couldn’t go in there and face Rory, Luke, Lorelai, he just couldn’t, not in this state. Turning right around he set off walking at a pace, close to disappearing from sight when the front door he had just left behind opened up and Luke stepped out, still calling back to Lorelai about leaving the stove well alone until he got back. He noticed Jess as he went around the corner and frowned, calling his nephew’s name. Something wasn’t right here.

Rory came to the door, surprised to find Jess wasn’t actually there.

“You said Jess went to the diner for my utensils, right?” Luke checked with her.

“Yeah, that’s what he said,” she nodded, frowning herself now. “Did he come back?”

“I don’t know, I thought I just saw him go around the corner but... That doesn’t make sense,” he shook his head. “Look, you stay here, make sure your mom doesn’t touch anything in the kitchen, and I’ll be back as fast as I can, okay?”

Rory thought about it and then agreed. A part of her wanted to run after Jess and see what was wrong, but it could just as easily be nothing. Besides, if her boyfriend had gone for a walk then he had a good reason, and she trusted he would be back before too long.

Luke headed off to the diner then, as originally planned, with a thought in his head that he didn’t much like. Not much got to Jess these days, but his mother never failed to mess with his head. By the time he found the door to the diner not just unlocked, but swinging open, there was no doubt in Luke’s mind that he would find Liz upstairs. What he hadn’t been quite ready for was her floods of tears as she threw herself into his arms. Something bad had happened here, and honestly, Luke dreaded finding out what it was. More than that, he dreaded trying to get Jess back to the happy equilibrium he had found now Liz had ruined it. He hoped, more for Rory’s sake than anyone's, that it was an easier fix than it used to be.


	27. Chapter 26

Jess hadn’t really known where he was going when he left the Gilmore house in a rage. His mother could push his buttons like nobody else he ever met. Sure, he and Luke had their fights, so did Jess and Rory, he even had some spats with Lorelai that were pretty memorable, but Liz was a whole other level. She could bring forth pain, sadness, and rage that Jess sometimes forgot had ever existed in him these days. One conversation that had fast turned into a fight, and he was back to feeling like that angry kid that had first come to Stars Hollow with a need to loathe everyone and fight against everything. He hated that. He hated that she had that power over him, that he continued to allow her to.

Just an hour ago, Jess was sat on the couch with Rory in his arms, listening to his uncle bicker with her mother in the most loving way. The house was full of a genuine warmth and the smell of turkey cooking. They were going to have a nice day, a happy family occasion, all four and a half of them, and Jess was genuinely happy to be a part of it. Trust his lousy mother to throw a wrench into everything.

It was months now since Jess last had a cigarette. He tried to give up before, so many times, but on the day they found out Rory was pregnant, he threw out the half a pack he still owned and vowed never again. So much for that promise, as he pulled out another cigarette and lit up. So far he’d chain-smoked most of a pack without even really noticing he was doing it. Sat here on the bridge it was all a little too familiar, but Jess thought of this place as his, moreover his and Rory’s these days. It had been a weird kind of sanctuary to him, ever since that day when Luke pushed him in the lake.

Maybe it would sound crazy to anybody else, but it was when his uncle dared to shove him head first into the water without warning that Jess realised he was finally living with a person who actually cared. His mother punished him sometimes, but mostly her yelling and striking him was for nothing worth mentioning, whilst other crimes slid by unnoticed. Liz got high and drunk so much, ran around with any guy that’d take her. Jess was pushed out in the cold at best and blamed for being the child of a worthless creep at worst. At least in Stars Hollow he had someone who cared what he was doing and didn’t judge him on another person’s mistakes. Luke never seemed to see him as Liz’s kid or Jimmy’s son. To his uncle he was just Jess, his crimes were his own, no more, no less, and that was that. Above all, he did his best by him, and Jess appreciated that, even if it had taken almost three years to make his gratitude clear. Luke was the first decent role model Jess ever really had, and he tried to be more like his uncle than either of his parents. One brief meeting with Liz and he was right back to being the worst of himself, screaming and running like a child.

_“I don’t want you turning out like Jimmy!”_

Jess winced as he replayed the words in his head. He didn’t want to turn out that way either. His kid deserved better, and he was going to get it too. Jess had to be a better father than a man that ran out the door the day his son was born. He liked to think he could handle it, but once upon a time, Jimmy had thought he could too, until reality taught him better. He had his life together now, or seemed to anyway. With Sasha and Lily, and his business going well, he was finally making something of himself. Jess wanted to do that, but a whole lot sooner than Jimmy managed to. He had to get it right the first time, he just had to. 

_“You idiot! You... I can’t believe you would screw up some poor girl’s life like that!”_

Jess swallowed hard and took another long drag on his cigarette before flicking the butt into the water. He defended himself to Liz, said he and Rory were happy, but the charge laid at his door by his mother was true enough. In some ways he really had ruined Rory’s life. When he first came to town, he screwed up over and over. He broke up Rory and Dean, caused her tears and pain way too many times, even before they were dating. As her boyfriend, he was so far from the kind of guy she deserved. Didn’t call when he said he would, didn’t treat her right, kept secrets and ultimately ran away like a frightened child. Jess liked to think he had grown up a lot the last couple of years, that he wasn’t even the dumb guy that went to Rory’s dorm room asking her to run away with him as if they were Romeo and Juliet or maybe Bonnie and Clyde.

Things were different now, he was responsible, he had two jobs and was determined to take care of Rory no matter what, but Liz was right, he had screwed up his girlfriend’s life. Yale was on hold at best, potentially abandoned at worst. The grandparents said they would pay, but the logistics of the situation still hadn’t been hammered out. When Jess worked and Rory went to school, who took care of the baby? Luke and Lorelai would both be working too. Between the diner and getting an inn off the ground, there wouldn’t be enough hours in the day for anybody to play baby-sitter. If Rory gave up her college courses completely, she would live to resent Jess, because unlike Liz he was sure she would never, ever put the blame on their child.

Even if she got through college, Rory could never have the career she always dreamed of. Jess lit another cigarette and pulled his jacket tighter around him. He recalled a conversation in Rory’s old car, not long before they crashed and he ended up here on this bridge, hating himself for hurting her. In that car, she had confessed her dreams to him, her longing to one day be the next Christianne Amanpour. Jess had been sceptical at first, but soon insisted she could make it. In fact, he had actually promised her she would. There was no way for her to be that person now, not with a baby to think about.

Jess took a long drag on his cigarette and tried to swallow down the bile in his throat. He felt so sick right now, and it was hard to know if it was the fight with Liz, the cold seeping into his bones, or flooding his body with tar and nicotine after so long without it. Whatever it was, he didn’t feel good, and in the mood he was in right now, Jess suspected he deserved it. Too late he realised there was no way to breathe through the need to throw up. He barely made it to the end of the bridge before he heaved spectacularly into the bushes.

On his knees in the dirt, Jess leaned back and turned his face to a cloud-filled sky. In a fit of almost pure hysterics, he laughed painfully at the mess of a day he had ended up in, and then just as quickly, he cried.

* * *

“Where is he? Where is he?” Rory muttered to herself, dialling Jess’ cell phone for the ninth time in as many minutes as Lorelai walked back into the living room. “Hey, I have a question! Where is he?!” she asked her mother, when once again an annoying voice asked her to leave a message.

“I’m sorry, honey, I wish I knew,” Lorelai sympathised, sitting down beside her daughter on the couch and putting a arm around her.

Rory threw the house phone forcefully into the opposite arm chair with a thud. She hated this. She hated that Jess would just run away after all those times he promised her he wouldn’t do it again. She wanted to believe he would be back, the larger part of her did believe it actually, but it was hard to forget that day on the bus when he acted totally normal and then was gone, or the day after the car crash when she heard he was already back in New York without so much as a goodbye. Rory couldn’t go through losing Jess again, she just couldn’t, especially not now.

Luke came through from the kitchen with the dish towel over his shoulder and a grim expression.

“I know it’s not a priority right now, but dinner is almost ready,” he said, trying for a smile that didn’t quite come out right.

He hated to see Rory so upset, and by extension Lorelai too. What affected daughter affected mother and vice versa. Luke supposed he should be mad at Jess for causing all this but he couldn’t quite manage it somehow. When he got to the diner and found Liz crying, he felt bad for his sister, but the more of the story he got out of her, the more he realised it was at least half her own fault, maybe more actually.

Luke didn’t know what it was about Jess and Liz. They just couldn’t find any middle ground or common bond. He could manage with the both of them at different times, but together it was always a powder keg. They were best kept apart, as sad as it was to say about mother and son. Now he had a crying sister who he had been forced to let stay at his apartment (along with T.J. who arrived right in the nick to catch the worst of the wailing), an AWOL nephew, and his two favourite women worrying way too much, especially Rory who should have as little stress as possible now she was pregnant.

“I’m gonna go take another look around,” said Luke eventually. “I mean, I can only really look at the places I already tried but there’s a chance that...”

It was as far as he got when the front door suddenly opened. Rory was on her feet in a second, hurrying towards her boyfriend.

“Jess!” she exclaimed, diving into his arms.

He caught her easily and held her close, letting her cling to him for as long as she wanted. Jess closed his eyes and breathed her in, his Rory, who loved him so much even though he could never quite wrap his head around why. He never had deserved her. As a kid, he didn’t think that mattered, and later he thought it mattered too much. Just when they started to find a happy medium, everything had to get messy again. It seemed their relationship was destined to be nothing but a bumpy road.

“I have been so worried about you,” said Rory as she pulled back just enough to see his face. “Where were you?”

“Around,” Jess shrugged. “I had some thinking to do. Rory, I’m so sorry if I scared you,” he told her honestly, a hand at her cheek.

“You didn’t,” she assured him. “Well, no, I was scared what might have happened to you, but Luke said you fought with Liz so I figured you just needed some time. I knew you’d come back,” she said bravely.

He saw in her eyes that was what she wanted to believe and yet she couldn’t really manage it. There had been a moment, maybe more than one today, when she had wondered if he had up and left her. If Jess could be sick again he probably would.

“Hey, are we happy to see you?” said Lorelai with a smile as she appeared with Luke at her side. “Words you never thought you’d hear me say, huh?”

Jess forced a tight smile but it was all he could manage. Lorelai wasn’t looking all that genuine in what she was saying right now either and he knew why. They all thought the same thing, that he was the same worthless runaway jerk he always had been. It hurt, but Jess couldn’t really blame them.

_“I knew you were going to turn out just like your father!”_

“I need to take a shower,” he said quickly, pulling out of Rory’s embrace and heading straight for the stairs.

“Oh, okay,” she replied, feeling a little startled. “But... don’t you wanna talk about what happened?” she asked in earnest.

Jess looked from her to Luke and Lorelai then back again.

“Really don’t,” he muttered, and then he was gone.

Rory stared after him long after Jess was out of sight. She felt her mother’s hand on her shoulder and sighed.

“He’s been smoking,” she said flatly, despondently walking towards her room and disappearing into it.

Luke watched her go and then put an arm around Lorelai’s shoulders, pulling her close. She dropped her head onto his shoulder and felt him kiss the top of her head.

“Happy Thanksgiving,” she said without a hint of joy.


	28. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter didn’t go exactly where I planned. It just started writing itself at about the half way point and... well, yeah, you might find it OOC or whatever, but I can’t help it. This is what Rory & Jess wanted! :P

The day really hadn’t gone at all how it was planned to. So much for a happy family occasion, Thanksgiving really was a bust. Jess had spoken no more than three words together since he got back from his walk. The fight with Liz must have been a doozy, they all realised that. Rory tried to get him to talk about it, but he shrugged her off both times, insisting he was fine and that he just wanted to forget about it. Lorelai had a feeling he might be more willing to share when he and Rory were alone, and yet he allowed himself to be involved in all the activities that had been planned. The foursome ate dinner together, had their movie marathon, and then hit the leftovers. Nobody really enjoyed it, because throughout it all flowed the undercurrent of tension.

Luke slipped out once to see what was happening at the apartment. He came back with a note that he showed Lorelai when the kids weren’t paying attention. Liz and T.J. were gone, as the note explained, not willing to stay where they weren’t wanted. Lorelai had hugged Luke, saying she was sorry he had to be caught in the middle of everything. Of course, Rory was just as stuck in her own way, between loving Jess and wanting to help him, and being mad at him for not wanting to share, not wanting to include her in whatever was bothering him.

When everybody was starting to fall asleep in front of the TV, Lorelai said she was heading up to bed. Without ceremony, she grabbed Luke’s hand and encouraged him to follow her. There wasn’t actually any rules about the two couples not sleeping in the same house together, it just didn’t usually happen. Honestly, Lorelai wasn’t thinking of seducing her boyfriend tonight, she just didn’t want to think of him alone, especially after all the upheaval of the day. He went with her without a word.

Left alone in the living room, Rory looked up at Jess and realised that though his eyes seemed to be glued to the TV still, he wasn’t really focused. That was his concentrating face that she knew oh so well. It was fine when it was aimed at a book or even at her, but off into space like that meant way too much head stuff, problems and pain. She really wished Jess would let her in, let her help, but pushing never helped.

“You wanna go to bed?” she asked, snapping him out of his daze at last.

“Sure, if you’re tired,” he nodded, a hint of a vague smile almost managing to cross his lips as he pulled her closer and kissed her. “I’m sorry today was...”

“It’s not all your fault,” she assured him. “I mean, yeah, I’m not denying a phone call would’ve been nice when you went on an impromptu trip around the block, but I get it. You and your mom are... it’s tricky.”

Jess almost laughed at the terminology. Tricky didn’t even begin to cover it, but Rory didn’t know exactly what had been said in that fight today, or in so many other fights that came before. He never told her, because it was easier not to talk about it, not to think about it, until days like today when he was actively forced to.

“Y’know, if you ever want to let out what’s going on in that head of yours,” she said softly, fingers going to his temple and messing with his hair. “I’m always here. I’ll listen, and I won’t even comment if you don’t want my opinion, but I can do the listening.”

That actually raised a genuine smile from Jess, even if it didn’t last long. She was so much more than he could ever deserve, and every day he wondered at it, never more so than today. He wasn’t as blind as some of the people in this town who would put Rory Gilmore on a pedestal in the town square if they could, revering her as an abolsute angel. Truth was she had flaws, and he knew them better than anyone. She made mistakes, she was fallible, just like everybody else, but in her heart she was a good person, she always meant well. When things went wrong, she felt the full weight of her mistakes, apologetic through and through. She was a pure soul even after all she had done that should mar her reputation. Jess couldn’t ever love anyone like he loved Rory, and that was maybe the scariest thing he had ever known.

“C’mon,” he said, moving to get up and pulling her to her feet with him.

They headed for their bedroom hand-in-hand and silent. He didn’t want to talk, and she didn’t want to make anything any worse than it already was. Nobody was mad anymore, it had just been a long rough day that needed to be slept off if it possibly could.

Rory curled up against Jess beneath the covers and he happily kept her close, kissing the top of her head.

“I love you, Rory,” he whispered in the dark, something he rarely said even though she knew it was how he felt about her.

The fact he used the words today almost broke her heart in a way she couldn’t entirely explain. Swallowing hard so she wouldn’t cry, she replied in kind, planting a kiss on his chest and settling down to sleep. Jess closed his eyes a moment but soon opened them again, already knowing there was no way he was going to sleep tonight.

* * *

Rory woke up to find herself alone. It was still dark outside and the digits on the clock flashed 02:31. Pulling herself up, she looked around the room and spotted a figure sat at her desk.

“Jess?” she called softly in the dark, rubbing her eyes. “What are you doing?”

He didn’t answer for a long moment, not until she called his name again. When he turned around, lit only by the lamp she flipped on to better see, Rory got a shock when she saw tear tracks on his face. In all the time she had known him, Rory had never seen Jess cry. She couldn’t even remember him being upset exactly. Beyond angry and frustrated, seriously hurt, but never actively crying. It was more than a little worrying.

“Jess, please, talk to me,” she begged him, reaching out with everything she had.

He swallowed hard and nodded his head, getting up and coming back over to the bed. Rory was desperate to hold him and make it better, like he had for her so many times before. Jess let her hug him, clinging to her equally as much. She started a little when he suddenly spoke, and he didn’t wonder at it. All she had been trying to get him to do all day was talk and he wouldn’t. Now suddenly, after all his thinking, he had a lot he needed to say.

“It’s not fair, Rory,” he told her as they pulled apart and faced each other. “I was thinking, about that day in your car when you told me about your dreams, you remember?” he prompted and she nodded her head. “You wanted to go to Harvard and be a journalist. You said you wanted to be the next Christianne Amanpour and I was the one who told you that you could do that,” he said sadly, his hand at her cheek. “I promised you, Rory. I promised you everything you wanted could be yours,” he said, hand falling away from her face as he turned away.

“And I have everything I want,” she assured him, getting his attention right back. “Sure, yeah, I had big career dreams but I had others too, I still do,” she insisted, mirroring his action as she put her hand to his face and made him keep looking at her. “Jess, even back then, a part of me knew I wanted you, and I wanted a happy life, with my mom, and Lane, and Luke. I still have that. I have you and we’re going to have a son that will be ours,” she reminded him.

It seemed like he was feeling bad for taking her life away from her, something she was pretty sure Liz had implied in the fight today. Rory never wanted Jess to feel guilty. None of this was his fault, if there was even really blame to be apportion to anyone. What they did, they did together, and it was all working out okay so far.

“I know,” Jess agreed with her facts that were unarguable. “And I love that you’re making the best out of all this, let’s face it, we don’t have much of a choice,” he said with wry smile, leaning into her touch. “But you deserve more, Rory. This was all supposed to be later, after college and a career...”

“Well, fate had other plans,” she cut in before he could focus any more on what they lost, seemingly forgetting what it was they actually had. “Jess, listen to me, my life isn’t over,” she reminded him forcefully. “One day I’m going to finish college, and one day I could even be a journalist or a novelist or whatever else I decide I want to be. Okay, so maybe I won’t be the second Christiane Amanpour, but I can still be me. I’m still Rory, and I’ll be happy because I’ll be with you, and... and I’ll be a mom.” she smiled brightly.

Sometimes, when that smile was genuine, as it was now, Jess felt like he was looking into the sun. It didn’t matter if he got blinded, he wouldn’t look away for a second and miss that smile. She was beautiful and incredible. Every time she reminded him in some way or other, it blew his mind all over again that she was so determined to be with him.

“It’s a lot to handle,” he sighed. “I mean, I’m here, Rory, I swear, every step,” he promised, meeting her eyes. “I’m not running this time, I promise you that, but it’s not gonna be easy.”

“I know,” she nodded in agreement, as they shifted to sit more comfortably together, their backs against the headboard and arms around each other. “But my Mom had me at sixteen, no man by her side, no family support, and now look at her,” she shrugged easily. “She has her business degree, she has her own inn, she’s so happy with Luke, and hey, I think I turned out okay,” she smiled up at her boyfriend who looked back at her so very seriously.

“You turned out so much more than okay,” he told her, dropping kiss on her lips. “But look at my parents. Look how I turned out...”

“Hey, you turned out to be the most amazing person,” she insisted, locking her determined blue eyes to his own. “You’re the man I fell in love with, Jess. The only man I can imagine spending my life with, and that was true before the baby, before anything that’s happened these past few months. I am happy, Jess, I promise you. Please, don’t ever feel like you’re tying me down or stopping me from realising some big dream of mine” she begged him. “I have a new dream now, and I love it just as much.”

Jess couldn’t speak for a full minute after she was done. He had sat up for hours going over everything in his head, having serious thoughts about telling Rory he was no good for her, that maybe she would be better off without him. The voice of his conscience and that of his heart did battle through the night until she had woken and begged him to talk to her. This conversation wasn’t going anything like he planned, and yet he felt better somehow. Safer than he ever had, in a way he couldn’t ever describe.

“Did I ever tell you that you’re amazing?” he said then, staring down into her eyes. “And that every time I think I couldn’t possibly love you any more than I already do, you make me fall even further.”

Rory smiled at his sweet words and reached up to kiss him long and hard on the lips.

“It’s two in the morning so I don’t have any fancy words to say back, but you know how much I love you, Jess. More than I ever knew I could love anybody and that is the truth.”

He believed her. As crazy as it seemed that someone like her could care anything about a guy like him, Rory truly did and Jess knew it now more than ever. The words that escaped his lips then were spontaneous, no doubt, but he smiled when he said them and meant every syllable.

“Hey, do you...? Rory, you wanna marry me?”

Rory’s eyes widened with apparent shock as she scrambled to sit up. His arms fell away from her as she moved but that wasn’t important right now. She was staring at him, completely baffled, unable to form words. Jess might’ve laughed at the landed fish impression if he wasn’t feeling as overwhelmed by his own question as she was.

“What...? Why...?” Rory gasped out.

“I know, seems kinda crazy, especially coming from me,” he admitted. “But I’m serious, Rory. Do you wanna marry me? I believe traditional answers are ‘yes’, ‘no’, and ‘I’ll think about it’,” he prompted when she still looked confused.

“You’re serious? Of course you’re serious, this is not something even you would make a joke about,” Rory realised aloud, climbing off the bed none too gracefully and beginning to pace the floor in nothing but her oversized T-shirt and underwear. “You’re serious and you’re asking me to marry you, which is... I don’t even know what it is. Jess, I...”

“Rory,” he interrupted her rambling, scrambling to the foot of the bed to reach out and grab her shoulders. “My life has been this circus, this insane chain of circumstances. Half the time I’m not sure about anything but I have always been sure about you,” he swore to her. “And I’m not talking about going out tomorrow to hire a band and rent a hall, I’m just... I need you to know how serious I am about you, Rory, about you and this baby we’re having,” he told her, every word full of sincerity as it should be. “And to clarify, I’m not asking you to marry me just because you’re pregnant, or just because it scares me to think Liz might be right and I can’t be what you or our kid needs. I’m asking because I love you, because I’m committed to this crazy ass life we’re building here,” he smiled genuinely. “I’m asking because I know that you and me are for the long haul. I’m never going to feel this way about anybody else, and apparently you’re just about cracked enough to believe I’m the one for you, so I’m gonna say this one more time and hope you can actually form some kind of answer. Rory Gilmore, at some point in our crazy future together, will you marry me?”

There were tears rolling down her cheeks and a terrible lump in her throat, but Rory forced herself to speak anyway. Jess deserved her answer and she was happy enough to give it right now.

“Jess, I... Yes, I would love to marry you,” she cried, glad enough to be thoroughly kissed in the moments that followed.

It was pretty crazy, getting engaged at two in the morning after a Thanksgiving that had turned into a disaster, when she was already pregnant with his child and had no idea yet how they were going to make the future work. Right now it didn’t matter. They were so in love and so stupidly happy. Rory and Jess were engaged, and it felt good. Still, she jumped when something at her middle shifted. The baby was kicking, and Jess felt it too since he’d had her body pulled flush to his own when it happened.

“I think junior approves,” Rory giggled through a veil of happy tears.

“You think anybody else will?” asked Jess, even as he put his hand next to Rory’s own on her swelling stomach.

“One way to find out,” she said with a smirk he would have been proud of.

Two minutes later they were both hammering on Lorelai’s bedroom door, frightening her and Luke half to death. They came rushing to see what was wrong, both half naked in a not entirely appropriate display, and yet nobody noticed. Luke and Lorelai faced the grinning faces of Rory and Jess, and asked what the hell was going on.

“Mom,” said Rory excitedly. “Jess and I just got engaged.”

“You... what?” asked Luke, even as Lorelai’s hand shot to her face in shock.

“I know it sounds crazy,” said Jess then. “And we’re not saying we’re going to get married now. We can’t afford it for one thing and all the organising... there are other priorities,” he explained. “But I wanted Rory to know I’m serious about sticking around, and... well, she’s crazy enough to want me to.”

Hugs, kisses, and congratulations ensued, a happy family scene on the landing of the Gilmore home at a ridiculous hour of the night, but that was fine by the four involved. It was a very happy kind of craziness they were experiencing, proven by the fact that minutes later they were all in the kitchen, toasting an engagement with cherry cola because it was the only thing they had in that was non-alcoholic and suitable for all. The day may have been much less joyous than they planned, but the morning after sure was starting well.


	29. Chapter 28

Rory Gilmore could not stop smiling. It wasn’t so strange, after all, she was newly engaged, carrying her fiancé’s child, and living with both him and her mother/best friend. In spite of money worries and a future that was yet to be planned in any way at all, Rory had an awful lot to be thankful for, even though Thanksgiving was technically over now. The whole holiday weekend had been spent together as a foursome, Rory and Jess, Luke and Lorelai. They celebrated the engagement, albeit a long-term one, and just savoured the time to relax and enjoy each other’s company. That was over now, and everybody was back to work, but Rory was still smiling.

“You kinda look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth,” said Lorelai thoughtfully from across the kitchen table.

“I’m just happy,” her daughter grinned. “It’s not a crime you know. Besides, you’re not exactly pouting yourself.”

“What’s to pout about?” she shrugged easily. “My daughter is happy, her fiancé is opening up the diner, so my guy, who has a very fine ass,” she added in a whisper when she turned to see her current view of Luke at the stove was mostly his demin-clad butt, “is making me breakfast.”

“Can this not turn into a conversation about me or any part of my anatomy, please?” he urged the Gilmore girls, hoping that they would actually listen, even though it was likely they wouldn’t.

“Yeah, not so sure I’m comfortable with talk of Luke’s butt,” said Rory, making a face.

“You don’t think my boyfriend has a nice ass?” asked Lorelai, apparently affronted. “I like Jess’ ass.”

“Mom!”

“Lorelai!”

Both her daughter and boyfriend were simultaneously scandalised by her confession. Lorelai either didn’t understand why or thought it as funny to pretend she didn’t at least.

“What? I can’t notice that the guy has a fine set of glutes?” she asked, as if it were perfectly fine. “What am I? Blind?”

“Lorelai, he’s my nephew, that's... weird,” said Luke with a shudder, as he served breakfast.

“And he’s my fiancé,” Rory over pronounced the word with a happy giggle of laughter. “Besides, as much as it’s weird for you to be noticing the finer pints of my boyfriend’s anatomy...”

“Dirty!”

“...it would be way weirder for me to notice those things about Luke,” she said definitely. “He’s... fatherly,” she said awkwardly, not noticing the way Luke’s spatula stilled in the pan when he heard her descriptor, or the odd smile that came to his lips as he processed it.

It was nice to be thought of that way by the little girl he had kinda helped out in raising. Not that Lorelai ever really needed help in bringing up her kid, she coped just fine on her own, but Luke had still tried to be there. Now he realised all over again it had definitely been worth the effort.

“Okay, you girls enjoy,” he said as he put bacon, eggs, and pancakes onto the table for both Lorelai and Rory. “I’m going to head over to the diner, help out your fiancé,” he told Rory with a wink.

She giggled all over again, as she had every time that word came up so far. Her happy expression didn’t really waver until a while after Luke kissed Lorelai goodbye and left. Rory had a forkful of eggs in her mouth when suddenly she frowned.

“What’s up, sweets?” her mother asked, even as Rory grabbed up a piece of kitchen paper and spat into it.

“I don’t like eggs,” she said, frowning harder. “Why don’t I like eggs? I loved eggs before!”

“Yeah, that’s pregnancy for ya,” said Lorelai knowingly. “I was saying to Sookie the other day when she... Huh.”

Rory was confused when Lorelai stopped talking so suddenly. That wasn’t like her at all. Neither was the literal face-palming she was now doing.

“She’s gonna kill me,” she muttered.

“Who? Sookie?” Rory checked, feeling confused.

“Yes, Sookie. Y’know she was so sure it would be like stealing your thunder or something and I said it really wasn’t and you would want to know big news like that, but you know how much she worries about upsetting people...”

“Oh my God!” gasped Rory suddenly as she put the pieces together. “Sookie’s pregnant again?”

“That she is,” Lorelai smiled. “She realised a couple of weeks ago now, but like I say, she was so determined that I not tell you because you’d think she was playing copycat or something, I don’t know, she was being crazy hormone lady, I just didn’t wanna argue.”

“Aaaw, poor Sookie!” Rory sympathised. “But she shouldn’t worry about me knowing. I think it’s great that we’re pregnant together. Oh, our babies can grow up together and be friends, that’d be so cool!”

Lorelai laughed a little at Rory’s enthusiasm which quickly turned to disgust when she put another forkful of eggs into her mouth without thinking. She was spitting them into another piece of kitchen paper within a second, looking a little green. Lorelai smiled fondly at her poor baby.

“Y’know most people talk about the weird cravings, but the not liking stuff you always did before is way weirder. Y’know the whole time I was carrying you, I could not look at a can of orange soda without wanting to puke,” she explained. “And bacon!” she said suddenly, holding up her fork with a piece of that very meat on it. “The smell of bacon was repulsive. I would walk past a deli and just... ugh, it was terrible!” she explained. “But then you were born, my body eventually went back to normal and here we are, back on the pig slices,” she grinned big, shoving the forkful of bacon into her mouth.

Rory smiled at the story and her mother’s enthusiasm for telling it, but the moment her eyes went back to her plate, she looked less happy. The eggs were not good. Pushing them all aside, she concentrated on her bacon and pancakes, at least they tasted good, apart from the parts that already touched the eggs.

“Pregnancy is complicated,” she muttered.

“Amen, sister friend,” Lorelai agreed. “But hey, it’s worth it,” she smiled then, as Rory met her eyes. “Trust me, it really is worth it,” she repeated, her hand at her daughter’s cheek as she smiled.

Rory smiled too. She was so lucky and she knew it. Both her own mom and Liz had babies when they were young and had to raise them alone. Whilst Rory was always wanted and cherished, Jess had been little more than an inconvenience to his mother. It broke Rory’s heart every time she thought about the mess that was Jess and Liz’s relationship, how much he had been hurt by his own mother who should have done nothing but love him. It was amazing how he had turned out so well after all he had been through, and it only made Rory love him more to think about that.

“Thanks, Mom,” she smiled across at Lorelai. “For believing I was worth it, and for accepting what’s happened with me and Jess. I should’ve known you’d understand but for a while, I just, I was scared that you’d be disappointed and mad at me.”

Rory recalled those weeks in New York, freaking out about what Lorelai would say if and when she discovered she was pregnant. It seemed silly now when both her mother and Luke had been so accepting, so understanding. Sure, this baby wasn't planned, and the future was kind of a blur right now, but it was all going to be okay, because they all had each other.

“Babe, things don’t always turn out how we plan them, I know that better than anyone,” said Lorelai definitely. “But it is so obvious to anybody with eyeballs that you and Jess were made for each other. I didn't want to see it before, he was so... well, he wasn’t there greatest kid when he first came to town, that’s for sure,” she said eventually, sure that even Rory would have to agree with that statement. “But he cares so much for you, and you for him. The kid has grown up into a man and that’s... it’s just great, but whether you were with him or not, I am always here, Rory,” she promised her. “You and that little baby boy in there, you’re priority one with me, no matter what.”

Rory felt so dumb for crying over her mom’s sweet sentiments, but she was fast getting used to the fact that a lot of things made her emotional in one way or another. If she wasn’t getting mad over nothing, she was bawling like a baby, or something just vaguely amusing was wildly hilarious. It would be funny if it was happening to anyone else, it was less fun for Rory herself, but that much easier because she had so much support.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve everyone being so nice to me,” she sniffled.

“Hey, you’re Rory Gilmore,” Lorelai shrugged easily as she went back to her breakfast. “That’s what makes you worthy.”

* * *

Things were fine for as long as the diner was busy. Jess had a feeling that somewhere between the breakfast rush and his cutting out to his afternoon shift at Walmart, Luke had something he wanted to say. All over the weekend, ever since he and Rory announced their engagement, Jess noticed that Luke kept getting this look on his face, a familiar look that he didn’t care for. It meant there was something on his uncle's mind, something he wanted to say but he wasn’t going to in front of Lorelai and Rory. It had occurred before, and usually resulted in some awkward uncle-nephew chat about the treatment of women, physical intimacy in relationships, or feelings in general. Jess was not looking forward to what came next as business in the diner got down to a dull roar and Luke told Caesar to hold the fort for a while.

“Here we go,” Jess muttered as he took himself off up to the apartment without even being asked.

Luke frowned at that but followed him anyway.

“Okay, what did that mean?” he asked as he came through the door right behind his nephew. “‘Here we go’, what is that?”

“It is what it is,” shrugged Jess. “You’ve got something to say to me, something you didn’t want to say at the Gilmore house, so it had to wait and then the diner was busy so it had to wait some more,” he explained what he knew to be true. “Now we’re not busy, we’re alone, so let’s have it. Whether it’s about Liz or Rory or my attitude...”

“It’s not about any of those things,” Luke waved his hand, dismissing all the options as he paced a little in front of his nephew.

There was no point denying that he did in fact have a serious topic to discuss with his nephew. Jess was whip-smart, always had been, and clearly Luke was more expressive than he thought, since Jess had noticed there was something on his mind. The fact was, what he had to say was important, but he didn’t like having to do it. Facing Jess with the serious facts didn’t always end well when he was a teen, and even though he had grown a lot this past year or more, Luke still wasn’t sure his nephew wanted him meddling in his life. That said, he had a duty, both as Jess’ uncle and as Rory’s almost-step-father figure too, to make sure everything was okay, to ensure they were ready to cope with what the world might throw at them.

“Luke, is this gonna take long?” asked Jess when his uncle continued to pace, adjust his hat, and not speak for fully five minutes. “I mean, I don’t wanna hurry you, but Rory’s due to give birth in like eighteen weeks, so...”

“Don’t be a wise ass!” Luke snapped then. “Y’know you’re gonna be a husband and a father, you need to learn not to be a wise ass.”

He came off pretty harsh and Jess would have loved to snap right back at him for being that way. At the same time, he kind of knew where he was coming from. What Luke said was true, he was going to be a father, and since he and Rory were engaged now, he was technically in line to be a husband someday too. Not yet, but someday. Maybe it was time to rein in the attitude a little bit, and Jess managed it pretty well a lot of the time. It was probably just being here in this apartment, feeling so much like his seventeen year old self, about to be yelled at by Uncle Luke for stealing a gnome, smoking in the apartment, or cutting class.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, looking to the floor.

Luke sighed and shook his head.

“No, I’m sorry,” he admitted then. “It’s just... you gotta think, Jess. Now, I know you’re serious about Rory, you were pretty serious about her before, but you guys were young and, well, everything's a big deal when you’re seventeen,” he rolled his eyes. “Nobody is denying that you and Rory are obviously in love or that you’re going to do your best by this baby you made,” he explained definitely, as Jess met his eyes. “But have you really thought about the future?”

“Of course,” his nephew nodded. “I’m working two jobs for the future, Rory is working too. We’re saving money, we’re gonna figure out a way for her to go to Yale still...

“See, I keep hearing this, how Rory is going to Yale and it’s all gonna be fine,” said Luke awkwardly. “I’m not saying you can’t make it work, and I will help you, Lorelai too, you know we’re here for you. The grandfather is still paying for Yale, that’s a burden you don’t have to bear, and I’m sure it’ll all work out, but Jess, you gotta have a plan, and a back-up plan, and a contingency plan for the back-up plan,” he explained, one hand counting off each plan on the fingers of the other as he went on. “A little over three months from now, maybe less, and there’s going to be a kid here, a little boy that’s going to take all the time and energy you and Rory have to spare, and probably more besides. I was there when you were born, buddy, it was not a walk in the park,” he shook his head. “By the time he comes along, all your planning time is gone, you’re in the middle and the best thinking on your feet in the world isn’t going to help either of you.”

“You don’t think I know this?” asked Jess, a little affronted that Luke might truly believe he was so very naïve.

“I’m sure you do know it,” his uncle assured him. “But Jess, you’re not doing anything about it. Yes, you’re working hard, you’re taking care of Rory, that’s all great, but where’s the plan? Do you have one? I’m talking about figures, cash flow, budgets. I’m talking about timetables, real plans for where you’re gonna be and when. I mean, Rory’s gonna have to give up her job pretty soon, and you can’t possibly take on anymore work,” he pointed out. “You need to start getting things for the baby, a crib, a stroller, clothing, formula, all kinds of things, and Rory’s room isn’t the biggest. Will it even work if you live there and she’s going to Yale?”

“I don’t know!”

When Jess suddenly yelled it seemed to startle him as much as it did Luke. He had been screaming the same answer inside of his head every time Luke added a question to the list, but not once had he meant for the words to come flying out of his mouth that way. He was all too aware of the plans that hadn’t been made yet. Everything was so vague and undefined. He and Rory were staying together for the long haul and would raise their baby together, that was all a given. Her going back to Yale was pretty certain too, but they hadn’t decided where they would live, how they would schedule looking after their new-born son with Rory’s education and Jess’ work. It needed to be dealt with, he knew it did, and yet it never was.

“I don’t know how it’s going to work,” he admitted in a more reasonable tone. “I keep planning on sitting down with Rory and figuring it out but... but it scares the crap outta me, okay?”

Luke was amazed by the admission. Jess had always been the guy that wasn’t afraid of anything. Even as a kid, he was always a tough cookie, but now he was talking about being scared and he genuinely looked terrified. Luke hadn’t meant to cause that but perhaps it was a good thing in a way.

“Jess, I don’t... I don’t want you to be scared of all this,” he told him gently. “I just want you to think about it, make the plans that need making before it’s too late. It’s only going to get scarier if you don’t,” he advised.

“I know,” his nephew sighed, running a hand back through his hair. “It’s just, every time I think about talking it through with Rory, I realise I have no idea how this is going to work. Her going to Yale, me working, a baby to raise... I want it to work, it has to work,” he said determinedly. “But that doesn’t mean I know how to make it happen. Luke, how can I talk to Rory about plans when every time I crunch the numbers it just doesn’t work? Not the money or the timing, it doesn't... it doesn't work,” he shrugged helplessly.

Luke didn’t know what to say to him. He could give them money, they could find a really good babysitter but that still might not work. Living arrangements, figuring out Rory’s classes, taking care of the baby, it was a lot, a very lot in fact. Even with help it wasn’t going to be easy, and Luke didn’t want two people he loved so much to have to struggle with hard decisions, sleepless nights, and a hundred other awkward complicated things. Unfortunately, there wasn't an awful lot he could do about it now. Rory and Jess literally made their bed and now they had to lie in it.

“Oh, Jess,” he sighed, stepping in and pulling the guy into a hug.

For once his nephew didn't argue, in fact he even hugged his uncle back, glad of somebody to support him right now, in any way at all. This was not easy, trying to be a responsible adult. The idea was fine, but the reality was tough. Things could be that much worse, Jess knew that, but he was so tired and drained already, and this was months before the baby even came along. This past weekend, the anger and pain after fighting with Liz, then the joy of celebrating the love he and Rory had committed to, it had just taken the last of his energy.

“You can do this, y’know?” said Luke, slapping Jess on the back before he released him. “I know it’s hard. I know you and Rory having to talk about the possibility of Yale going on hold, or moving into a low rent place of your own is tough, but you gotta do it, Jess, and because you two love each other, and you have mine and Lorelai’s support, I promise you, it will all work out in the end,” he swore.

Jess nodded and found a half a smile.

“Thanks, Uncle Luke,” he said, perhaps the first time he had called him that in all seriousness since he was a little kid.

Luke smiled too at what seemed to be some affirmation of their family connection, a bond that meant more to either of them than such manly men would usually admit.

“You’re welcome, kid,” he replied, ruffling his hair. “Now, let’s get back to work.”


	30. Chapter 29

“So apparently that’s me done with eggs until at least after junior is born,” Rory explained to Jess as she placed the clean laundry into the drawer and closet. “I know it’s not a big deal, but kind of a pain. Of course, it was worth finding out because that led to Mom telling me about Sookie also being pregnant. I can’t believe she wanted to keep it from me, I actually think it’s great that we’re pregnant together. It was a plan me and Lane had for a while, y’know, that we would both graduate, marry our boyfriends, and get pregnant together, so that our kids could grow up together just like we did. I know it’s never going to happen, honestly, it was never likely to anyway. Given that Lane and Zach have been on exactly one date, there’s no guarantees that’ll even work out yet...”

She was rambling. Usually Jess found it adorable when Rory rambled, and he listened with rapt attention the whole way through, even when she was talking about stuff that wasn’t entirely interesting. Today was different, because he had other things on his mind that were overshadowing everything else. His talk with Luke had just confirmed what Jess already knew, that he was wasting precious time not properly figuring out how he and Rory were going to cope after the baby came, even how the finances would look when she gave up her job in the bookstore, and that was going to have to happen sooner rather than later.

At twenty six weeks pregnant, Rory had a little over three months left before she would give birth. In that time, she and Jess had to know exactly how their immediate future was going to go, where they were going to live, how they were going to take care of their son, how much money they would have in their budget and where it was best used. So far they were way behind on making plans. It ought to seem weird, usually Rory loved her plans, but this was more than either of them had ever had to cope with before. Jess suspected she was putting it off for the same reason he was, fear of what they would discover when they looked seriously at their circumstances. That didn’t change the fact that today was going to have to be the day that they talked about it. Jess just didn’t know where to start.

Rory had started talking the moment he came in the door, and usually that would be fine. She only stopped long enough for him to go upstairs and shower. Once he came back to their room, she continued on with all she wanted to tell him, whilst she tidied things away, and Jess got dressed. He had now been stood by the window for fully ten minutes, staring out across the yard but probably not even seeing. Rory noticed, she couldn’t not. When she asked him if he thought Marmaduke was a good name for the baby and he agreed whole-heartedly, she knew for sure he had zoned out on her.

“Hey,” she said as she stepped up beside him, finally regaining his attention. “Jess? What’s wrong?” she asked, genuinely concerned by the extremely serious look on his face.

Rory didn’t want to panic. She knew she should trust Jess more than this, and yet the moment he got so serious on her, started clamming up again and not talking, she couldn’t help it, she just thought the worst. All the what ifs came rushing in all at once - What if he changed his mind? What if he doesn’t want this baby? What if he’s leaving? What if he regrets the proposal? What if...?

“Rory, we have to talk about the future,” he told her too seriously, allaying none of her worst fears yet.

“The future,” she echoed. “Well, I thought that meant you, me, and our baby,” she said shakily, one hand going instinctively to her bump.

Jess smiled a crooked half smile and nodded his head.

“It does,” he promised her, his hand joining hers where their son was growing. “But so far all we keep doing is saying everything will be fine and it’ll all work out. Now, I’m not saying it won’t, because we’re going to make sure it does, but... but we need solid plans,” he tried to tell her.

It was awful, because he was so afraid of scaring her. Of course Rory wasn’t stupid, she knew these things needed to be discussed and set in stone, but it might be when they came to the number crunching, things just weren’t going to be as cut and dry as they originally planned. So far, Jess really wasn’t sure how the money situation was going to go, or if Rory really would have the time and energy to go back to Yale as well as help raise their baby. Until they had this talk, they could keep on pretending, living on a daydream, but time was running out and they just couldn’t afford to do it anymore.

“I know there’s a lot to think about,” he told her when she looked away. “But that’s kind of the point. We have to have a plan, we have to decide if we’re staying here or moving out. You have to figure out Yale, and I have to know if what I’m earning is going to be enough.”

“I know,” she nodded her head in agreement, though somehow she looked more guilty than upset.

That confused Jess to know end, at least until she slipped away from him and started digging into the back of her closet. Well, it was their closet these day but most of the clothes in it were still hers. Apparently it wasn’t only sweaters and pants she was keeping in there either, he realised, as she came back to his side with a sheaf of papers in her hand.

“I’m sorry,” she said guiltily as she passed them to him.

Jess didn’t understand, at least not until he took the papers from her and flipped through their contents. Facts and figures, epic length pro-con lists, she had so much here it was insane. She had worked out rough budgets, listed options for where to live. Phone numbers for realtors and lists of items they needed for when the baby came covered each page. Jess had wide eyes and a blank unreadable expression when he looked at Rory then.

“You did all this, but you didn’t tell me?”

“I know, that’s why I’m sorry,” she said sadly. “Jess, I didn’t make any big decisions, I swear I didn’t. I just knew that time was slipping away and all these thoughts were rushing around in my head, so I started to write things down and... and then every time I wanted to talk to you about it, I... I got scared.”

“Scared? Of me?” he checked, looking understandably hurt.

“No,” Rory insisted, moving closer, wrapping her arms around him as best she could with her ever-growing bump stuck out between them. “No, never scared of you, not even how you would react really, it’s just you’ve been working so hard,” she reminded him. “You’re tired when you’ve done shifts at the diner and Walmart, and you do so much for me, getting up in the night when I feel bad, going out for the weird foods I’ve been craving. It felt wrong to put any more pressure on you.”

“Rory,” he sighed, putting the papers down on the desk behind them and holding her close as he could. “I’m supposed to have this pressure, we both are. We both got ourselves into this and we both have to deal, together,” he reminded her. “I know I’m kind of a hypocrite for saying this, but when stuff is on your mind, you gotta tell me.”

“I know, I should,” she agreed, a smile curving her lips that she couldn’t help then. “And yes, you are a hypocrite.”

Jess smirked at her and then leaned in to kiss her lips.

“So we’re both idiots that have been freaking out about this stuff and just not talking?” he realised aloud. “How very adult and sensible of us.”

“Pretty sure it’s the kind of thing Mom and Luke would do too,” Rory considered. “So we’re good,” she joked. “But we really should start figuring this stuff out, I guess. Not long now until there will be three of us to think about” she said, looking down.

“Well, you made a good start by the looks of things,” said Jess, eying her lists and such on the desk. “How about I cook dinner, and then we start making some serious plans for the future?” he suggested.

“Sounds good,” Rory smiled, accepting one last kiss from Jess before he released her and headed for the kitchen.

She watched him go and then picked up her papers from the desk. The smile faded when she remembered the gaps in the budgets and holes in the plans that she couldn’t figure out how to fix. Maybe Jess would have some ideas, maybe even a solution, but it was going to bother Rory until they figured out what to do. It was looking more and more like graduating Yale would have to be nothing more than a dream.

* * *

“Mmm, I am never going to get tired of your cooking,” said Lorelai, happily digging into her second helping of apple pie.

She already tore through a double cheeseburger with everything, curly fries, and two coffees before she even got to dessert. Luke had to wonder how much of this was actual hunger and how much was nerves.

“That’s comforting,” he said leaning over on the counter. “At least if my looks go I’ve got something to fall back on,” he joked.

“That’s true,” she answered seriously, as Lorelai was wont to do even when she knew something had been said in jest. “Ugh, I just wish I knew what was going on at home,” she complained. “Don’t get me wrong, you were right to encourage Jess to talk to Rory. I mean, we agreed it’s a step forward they need to take and soon,” she said, scooping up another forkful of pie. “But I guess I’m just waiting for something to go wrong. Those two are seeming so solid right now. Jess is determined to be everything Rory needs, and she is being so grown up too. I just hate to think that when they start having to make the rest of their big decisions it could all fall apart.”

“It’ll be fine” Luke assured her, pulling her forward and kissing her forehead. “They’re good kids learning to be adults. They’re serious about each other and about doing right by this baby,” he reminded her. “And hey, if they mess up, we’re here for them.”

“Yes, we are,” she smiled gratefully at her boyfriend. “You and all your right words at the right time,” she sighed. “Why can’t I be like that?”

“You are like that. Sometimes,” he considered with a smirk that his nephew would have been proud of.

Lorelai stared for a second and then just laughed, picking up the abandoned dish towel from the counter and attempting to whip Luke across the ass with it as he walked away to the kitchen. She missed, but that was okay. He really was the best, and that wasn’t just sometimes, it was all the time.

* * *

Lorelai waited until late before she even considered going home, then her nerve left her anyway and she asked Luke if he would mind her staying over. Of course he wasn’t going to object to that, and so she called up the house and was glad when Rory answered with a tired but not so sad ‘Hello?’

“Hey, sweets. So, Luke invited me to stay over at the diner tonight and you know I can’t resist that diner man charm,” she said with a smile even as she bent the truth just slightly.

“Oh, okay,” her daughter agreed. “So, I guess we’ll see you tomorrow. Although, don’t you need to come home to get your toothbrush and stuff.”

Lorelai squirmed a little, almost enough that Rory actually heard the awkward expression on her face.

“Um, no, I’m fine,” she said eventually, before breaking entirely. “Okay, so I’m trying to give you and Jess some space. I had a feeling you guys were gonna be having a serious talk and plan making session tonight, and I just thought it was only right to give you privacy for that.”

It all came out in a rush, as things usually did, regardless of which Gilmore was saying it. What she said was true enough but she was still worried she had done the wrong thing. Ever since Rory bolted for New York, only to return all full of pregnancy hormones, Lorelai had been a little wary of what she said to her daughter. The last thing she wanted was for her to be upset or feel she had to go away again. Thankfully, there was to be no such drama today.

“Thank you, Mom,” said Rory with what sounded like a smile. “We appreciate it. We have been having a pretty serious planning session actually, and as much as I love knowing you and Luke are both here for us, always, I think it’s better me and Jess do this stuff alone right now.”

“Exactly what I was thinking, honey,” her mother agreed easily. “So, I’ll crash here with Luke, and see you first thing in the morning, but if you do need me at all for any reason, my cell is on, okay?”

“Okay, Mom, and thanks again.”

“No problem, sweets.”

The call ended and Rory put the phone back in the cradle. Her hand went to her back that ached from both the weight she was carrying and leaning over the kitchen table crunching numbers too long tonight. She returned to the bedroom where Jess was already in bed waiting for her. It was getting late and when Rory started yawning every thirty seconds, Jess had made the decision that they needed to stop with the planning for tonight. They had gotten just about as far as they could anyway for now, and he was happy to head straight to bed with his fiancee. He guessed the phone call that came a minute or two before they managed to put out the light would be Lorelai, and looked to Rory for confirmation her return.

“Mom is staying at the apartment with Luke,” she confirmed, her smile fast fading to nothing as she climbed into bed beside him.

“You okay?” asked Jess, his arm around her shoulders as he hugged her close, kissing the top of her head.

Rory sighed.

“I am,” she assured him. “Just tired. We did some good decision making tonight.”

Her eyes went to the pile of papers on the night stand and Jess nodded his agreement.

“Yes, we did,” he confirmed, picking up the top sheet and reading through the prioritised list they had made. “We start making appointments to see apartments between Stars Hollow and Yale tomorrow, baby shopping this weekend, and I’ll see if I can squeeze any more shifts or even a raise out of either job,” he sighed, knowing that last one wasn’t going to be fun in any way at all. “With Richard covering the Yale costs still, and Luke and Lorelai willing to pitch in on babysitting duties, I think maybe we have this covered.”

Rory smiled a little at that, though she was still concerned. Going back to Yale was what she wanted, and she was sure so long as she reduced her class load, she could cope with that and a baby. Ideally she would want to have a part time job too, but that might be pushing things. There were some plans that just couldn’t be made until later and that was one of them.

“I still can’t believe how great your mom has been about all of this,” Jess sighed, placing the papers back on the night stand and flipping off the light. “I seriously thought she would want me dead when she found out you were pregnant.”

Rory was listening and yet she didn’t answer. Her mind was preoccupied as she thought of her own childhood as well as Jess’ own. Their parents had coped in different ways, Lorelai’s was to do whatever it took to raise Rory right, whilst Liz had turned to drugs, booze, and men, letting Jess suffer. Jimmy had been entirely absent until two Summers ago, but Christopher had at least been around sometimes. There was no way he could be described as the world’s greatest dad, but he wasn’t a monster or a completely absent father. Sure they had their ups and downs, both herself and Christopher, as well as her parents over the time, but Rory never doubted that her dad loved her and cared about what happened in her life, even after he was married and became a father for the second time.

“Rory?” whispered Jess, half convinced she had fallen asleep already and yet even at this angle in the dim light, he was sure her eyes were open. “You okay?” he asked again, pretty sure by now that something was wrong.

“There’s one more thing that needs to go on the list,” she said suddenly, tipping her head back to look up at him. “We have to tell my dad about the baby,” she said definitely.

Jess hadn’t quite been ready for that sudden decision.

“Huh.”


	31. Chapter 30

“Hey, Dad. Yeah, I know, it’s been a while,” said Rory into the phone, pacing a little, whilst Jess looked on from the couch.

He knew for a fact that Rory and her father hadn’t talked since she got back to Stars Hollow. He had wondered if Lorelai ever even told Christopher their daughter had run away, but she insisted she had. She also said he did care and wanted news as soon as there was any. To Jess’ mind he should’ve done more, but since that was none of his business he didn’t say anything about it. When he and Rory got back home, Lorelai rang Chris and let him know all was well, but she quite deliberately said nothing about the baby. She agreed with Rory that it was her news to tell, but from that day up until late last night, the younger Gilmore girl had been lacking either the nerve or just the inclination to share the news that Christopher Hayden was soon going to be a grandpa.

Given how things had gone with Liz, Jess figured Chris couldn’t react any worse, though he never met the guy and hadn’t a clue what he was like, except for a few tales Rory and Lorelai had told over the time. He’d be kind of a hypocrite if he judged his daughter too harshly, but hey, he wouldn’t be the first to act that way.

“I know, I just... Things have been kind of crazy here. I’m guessing with you too, what with Gigi and everything. How’s she doing?” asked Rory, smiling as her father presumably waxed lyrical about the wonder of his younger daughter. “That’s great. Er, I don’t suppose you’d be free to come visit this weekend or something? No, no, I understand, I do, it’s... well, I had news, and face to face would’ve been better,” she explained a hand going absently to her bump. “Yeah, it’s kinda big, but not bad, at least I don’t think so.”

Jess watched her get more and more flustered and reached out to grab her hand as she passed by the next time.

“You okay?” he whispered, and Rory nodded, deciding there was going to be no better moment than this.

With her fingers clasped in Jess’ hand she took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and just said it.

“Dad, the truth is... I’m pregnant.” 

She visibly winced the moment the words were spoken, obviously expecting a wholly negative reaction. Instead there must have been shocked silence, because a moment later Jess watched her frown and then repeat ‘Hello? Dad?’ at least three times before she got a response.

Once the shock subsided, Christopher seemed to take it all pretty well. Rory explained what had happened, the running to Jess, getting pregnant, coming home, and some of the plans for how they moved forward, including her still going back to Yale next year. She sat down next to Jess as she told her father all of her plans, and her fiancé happily pulled her close to him while she talked, glad for Rory that this truth-telling session hadn’t been a complete disaster.

Ten minutes or so later, Rory hung up the phone and breathed a real big sigh of relief.

“I take it he didn’t completely disown you?” Jess smirked.

“He actually took it really well, after the initial shock,” she admitted. “When your name came up, I swear I heard him growl, but the fact you stuck around and asked me to marry you seems to have gotten you enough bonus points to make up for any reason he might find to hate you.”

Jess smiled at her jokey tone and kissed her on the nose.

“Your whole family is cracked, you know that, right?”

“Hey, my family is your family,” she reminded him. “Once we’re married, and assuming Luke and Mom stick together, we’re going to have one seriously screwed up family tree, mister, but one thing is for certain, we’re all connected.”

“I guess I can live with that,” he sighed as if it were a huge inconvenience, and then he kissed her.

Rory felt happy right now. Sure, plans for the future were still a little shaky, that was just how things were in their situation, but she felt somewhat more confident since she and Jess got started on making more solid decisions. Her dad knew about Jess and about the baby, and he hadn’t flipped out. Things seemed to be on the up and up.

“Greetings, fellow programs!” Lorelai called as she let herself in the front door, interrupting the young couple’s kissing.

“I told you things only end badly when you let her watch Tron,” said Rory, lightly slapping Jess across the chest.

He only rolled his eyes and looked up the same time as Rory did when Lorelai came over to the couch.

“Hey Mom,” her daughter smiled up at her. “You have a nice night?”

“I did,” she nodded happily. “I hope yours was both enjoyable and productive?”

“It was,” Jess assured her. “Any mail for us?” he checked, noting the envelopes in Lorelai’s hand.

“Yes, actually,” she noted, pulling out a couple of pieces of mail and duly handing them over.

Rory squealed happily at the sight of a letter from Mrs Rossini and quickly tore into the envelope. She read in silence, tilting the paper some so that Jess could see too. He absently kissed her temple as his eyes skimmed down the page, smiling at Mrs R’s usual stories of life in the city, and thanks for the copy of the latest sonogram picture. They sat close just reading together for almost ten minutes. It was only when they were done that Jess realised there were wet patches towards the bottom of the last page.

“Rory?” he checked as she sniffled beneath his arm.

“I’m sorry,” she said, looking up at him. “I just miss her.”

“Me too,” Jess agreed.

It was silly really, they had both known Mrs Rossini quite a short time really, and yet she had come to mean so much to each of them. When Jess first got the apartment on the level up from Mrs R, he had been glad of the old lady’s friendship and kindness. Rory found she felt just the same when she came to join Jess in his latest home, and God only knew what would have happened if she hadn’t been there with good advice and friendly counsel when the pregnancy thing happened.

“Oh, babe, it’s not bad news, is it? Is Mrs Rossini okay?” asked Lorelai worriedly as she returnd to the room and saw Rory’s tears.

“She’s fine,” Jess assured her, though Lorelai wasn’t quite sure which woman he was referring to. “It’s nice to hear from Mrs R, but it’s tough thinking of her in New York all by herself.”

“I’d love to visit, but the money and the long bus ride right now...” said Rory sadly shaking her head. “Maybe after the baby is born, but that’s a long way off yet.”

Jess bit his lip and didn’t answer. Honestly, as much as he’d love to take their kid to meet Mrs Rossini, he wasn’t sure it was a good idea. The neighbourhood they lived in then, it was no place for a baby, that was one of the any reasons for coming home to Stars Hollow the way they did. Jess wished there was some way to get Mrs R to move out of that place, but he figured she never would. NYC was home to her now, and nothing was going to scare her away, that was what she always insisted. He doubted her opinions had changed at all in the last few months.

“You’ll see her soon, honey,” Lorelai told Rory, rubbing her knee in a comforting gesture. “Somehow, you will.”

Thinking fast, she changed the subject quickly to avoid more awkward talk and tears.

“Hey, so I had the most disturbing call from your grandmother last night,” she said with a properly freaked out look on her face. “Get this, she was asking me for dating advice!”

“Eeew!” Rory exclaimed, and though Jess thought that was a little childish, he couldn’t really help the fact he quite agreed with her.

Emily Gilmore going out on the prowl to snag a man. That was a picture he really didn’t need in his head, not ever.

“But people her age don’t really date, do they?” said Rory then. “And even if they did, she’s still married to Grandpa.”

She looked almost more pained than grossed out as she spoke of her grandparents marriage. Lorelai immediately wished she picked a better topic. This one could well end in tears too, especially given Rory’s pregnancy hormones.

“I know, hon, and I’m not sure how serious Emily is about all this,” she told her then. “I’m pretty sure she’s only trying to date because she thinks Richard is doing it already. Not doing it!” she insisted on realising her bad phrasing. “Oh God, I feel sick!” she exclaimed, flapping her hands wildly as if that would help remove the utterly disturbing mental images.

“Really not alone in that,” Jess shuddered.

That at least made Lorelai smirk and forget some of her own disgust. Rory seemed thoughtful still.

“I guess everybody gets lonely,” she sighed. “Y’know last I spoke to Paris she was going speed-dating.”

Lorelai let out a burst of laugher.

“Paris?” she checked. “Speed-dating?”

“Paris and any kind of dating,” Jess considered.

“Agreed. So she told you she was going but you haven’t heard from her after the event?” Lorelai asked Rory.

“Nope,” she shook her head. “I was thinking of maybe going over to visit sometime soon. I’m sure she wouldn’t be feeling so lonely and desperate if I was there...”

“Hey, you are not feeling guilty about this,” said her fiancé firmly, hugging her close. “It’s not your fault.”

“No, I know, I just... well, I can’t help it.”

“Sweetie, you’ll be back at Yale next September and then Paris will have a friend and everything will be fine,” her mother insisted. “In the meantime, she can terrorise a few guys in speed-dating, it won’t do them any harm,” she smiled too widely. “Even Paris can’t cause too much emotional distress in only five minute intervals, right?”

Jess shot her a dubious look

“Well, probably not anyway.”

* * *

“You sure you don’t want me to come with you?” asked Jess as he and Rory sat at the bus stop waiting for the next one that would take her to Yale.

“Jess, you have to work,” she reminded him. “Besides, the bus ride isn’t so long, and Paris will probably be able to drive me back after. I’m okay,” she promised, even as she smiled at his concern.

“Okay,” he nodded once, leaning in to kiss her lips. “But if you need me, you call. You are more important to me than work, both of you,” he swore, his hand on her bump as he kissed her one more time.

“Go to work, sentimental man,” she smiled, giggling as he dropped one final kiss on her nose before hurrying away to the diner.

The bus arrived within a minute and Rory struggled a little getting on. With almost three months still to go, Rory was already wondering how much bigger she could possibly get! A friendly fellow passenger helped her to a seat and once she was there, Rory felt just fine. The journey to Yale wasn’t all that long, and yet it started to feel that way when just over half way she really felt the need to pee. By the time they arrived at the college, she had to make a dash for the nearest rest room before she could go find Paris’ room, but since her friend didn’t even know she was coming, at least she couldn’t bawl Rory out for being late.

Rory took the next left in the hallway, sure she would find Paris’ room right there, she was startled when she ran right into a guy coming the other way.

“Hey!” she yelled, one arm going protectively around her bump.

“I’m sorry, I... I’m sorry,” the blond repeated on noticing her condition. “Um, you need help with anything?” he checked.

“I’m fine,” said Rory, consulting the paper in her hand again.

She was sure she was in the right place, and yet the number by the next door along was not the one she had written down as where Paris was living.

“I think you made a right when you should’ve made a left,” said the mystery man, apparently not willing to let her be. “I could show you...”

“I can find it,” she forced a polite smile, turning herself around with one hand on her aching back as she continued walking. “But thank you...”

“Logan. Logan Huntzberger,” he told her, seemingly amused by the fact she didn’t already know. “And you are?”

“Rory Gilmore,” she told him. “Thanks for the help, Logan,” she said as she headed off to see Paris.

This time she found the right room and knocked firmly on the door. There was no answer and so she tried again, hating the idea that maybe she had been wrong about her friends schedule and would actually find her not at home.

“Paris?” she called, hoping to get an answer.

There was a random scrabbling sound on the other side of the door and then finally it opened to reveal a wholly dishevelled Paris Geller.

“Rory!” she gasped at the sight of her. “My God, you’re enormous!”

“Nice to see you too, Paris,” Rory laughed. “Um, can I come in?” she checked when her friend seemed unwilling to open the door more than a crack.

“Sure, yeah, of course,” she said, suddenly moving to let her in.

Rory went straight to the comfy looking couch and lowered herself into the cushions. She opened her mouth to speak, but never got the chance as another voice was heard and a short guy wearing nothing but a sheet stepped out into the common room.

“Hey, Paris are you coming back to... bed?” he asked, awkwardly realising they were no longer alone.

“Rory Gilmore, Doyle McMaster,” Paris introduced them, as if the situation wasn’t half so mortifying as the reality.

“Uh-huh,” Rory nodded, trying not to wear a smirk that Jess would be proud of. “So speed-dating went well, huh?”

Paris ducked her head and almost looked genuinely embarrassed, something that rarely if ever happened to her, as Doyle made a dive back into the bedroom muttering something about finding his clothes.

“I hope you were safe,” said Rory, only half joking as she patted her own pregnant belly.

“Obviously,” Paris rolled her eyes. “Let me throw on some real clothes and toss the guy out,” she said then, matter of factly as Paris ever said anything. “Then we can talk.”

“Sounds good,” Rory agreed, still trying not to laugh as her friend disappeared back into her bedroom.

So far this had been a pretty eventful trip, and though they probably wouldn’t talk about anything profound or massively interesting, Rory was not about to be sorry that she came to visit with Paris today. Sure, it felt strange to be in Yale when she wasn’t actually attending right now, but it was nice too. She would be back here next September, Rory told herself, even as the baby kicked inside her, reminding her how much everything would change in less than three months from now.

“Please tell me we don’t have to stick solely to the topics of pregnancy hormones, food cravings, and swollen ankles,” said Paris as she returned to the room.

Doyle was heard to mutter a ‘nice meeting you’ or similar and then he was gone faster than The Flash. Rory tried not to smile too much as her friend joined her on the couch.

“I think I can keep my pregnancy symptoms to a minimum for you,” she promised. “Maybe we could start with the guy?”

Paris almost looked fit to blush as she explaiend that Doyle was actually her editor on the Yale Daily News, and how they just kind of hit it off when they found each other at the speed dating event.

“I’m not saying he’s the love of my life or anything,” she confirmed, rolling her eyes. “We’re not all you and Jess, but I like him and... and so far it’s just fun. The physical side is pretty good, and we can actually have a conversation too, so yeah, it’s... it’s good,” she smiled.

Rory couldn’t be more happy for her friend, and actually felt a little relieved knowing that Paris wasn’t totally alone now.

“I wish I had exciting news for you but things have been pretty quiet since Thanksgiving, which is probably a good thing,” she considered.

“That Liz Mariano is a piece of work from what you told me,” said Paris crossly. “What is it with parents failing to understand that it is their influence that has such a devastating effect on how their children grow and develop? Both nature and nurture play a role, people!”

“Family can be complicated,” Rory said diplomatically. “I finally told my dad about everything yesterday. He was actually pretty supportive.”

“Well, I should think so,” Paris snorted. “Given the example your parents set for you, he’s lucky you turned out half as well as you did.”

Rory thought about trying to defend her Mom and Dad but decided against. Paris kind of had a point, actually. Though she loved her parents dearly, she knew they never intended to make a baby at the age of sixteen, and that such a thing was pretty irresponsible. As well as Lorelai had coped, Rory knew her mom hadn’t wanted a similar fate for her daughter. Either way, Paris didn’t mean any harm or even to be insulting at all, after so many years Rory knew she just liked to speak her mind, that was all.

“So, you still determined to come back here next Fall?” asked Paris then, alerting Rory to the fact she had kind of zoned out a while. “I can’t imagine it would be easy.”

“No, I don’t think it will be, but we’re going to give it a try,” Rory smiled bravely. “I’m going to have to take on a smaller class load but it could work. Grandpa says he’s still willing to pay the fees so I’ll be here,” she explained. “First, me and Jess have to find a place to live. Somewhere between Stars Hollow and here would be great, but we’re going to start viewing some possible places this weekend. It’s weird, I’m really excited about it.”

Paris just smiled at her friend a moment, staring in such a way as to make Rory ask why.

“I don’t know, I mean, they say that pregnant women almost glow and I always thought it was a stupid turn of phrase, but you actually do,” she told her friend.

Rory almost blushed at the odd compliment, but it was nice to hear all the same.

“I don’t know what to tell you,” she shrugged then. “For all the stress and drama that comes with my life right now, I am very happy,” she said with a smile, and she meant every word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is now going on hold til 2015. I do this every year as I have a lot of other stuff to do in December, including a lot of fics to write for exchanges and as gifts for friends. Please rest assured, I will be back in the new year! :)


	32. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I’m back! And weirdly, as we reach the middle of January in real life, this fic is back on Christmas! lol Hope that’s cool with everybody. Here we go...

Christmas was right around the corner. Stars Hollow had gone for the usual over-the-top decoration and multiple festivals that made Jess want to puke because it was just too sugary sweet and sparkly. Of course he wasn’t paying quite so much attention to the decorations and the trappings right now, he was thinking more about Rory. This would be their last Christmas together without a baby. Next year they would be parents, Jess would be a father. It still blew his mind to think about it, and though he’d never really been the religious type he was praying every day he handled it okay. No matter how much faith Rory, Luke, and even Lorelai put in him, Jess was still worried. He wanted to be committed, he kept saying he was and he meant every word, but the fear remained, the little voice in his head that told him to get ready to run. He wouldn’t give into it, he couldn’t, Jess just wondered how long it would remain there in his brain taunting him, telling him he was his father’s son.

The comfort came from thinking that if he could cope with the way things were right now, Jess could probably cope with anything. Rory’s hormones had been particularly crazy this week, and she had all but called him the devil incarnate on three separate occasions for pretty much nothing at all, and then cried her heart out when she realised she had been so mean. She was also well into the food cravings all of a sudden. She’d had some all the way along off and on, but things really ramped up these past few days. Strawberry ice-cream at three in the morning, spaghetti on pizza for lunch one day, and the always disturbing mashed potatoes with hot fudge sauce. Jess always knew Rory could eat, but some of the stuff she had been putting away lately was equal parts impressive and scary!

At least she seemed happy. Jess kept expecting one of Rory’s out-of-the blue crying jags would include the words ‘I never should’ve run to you’ or ‘I wish we weren’t having this baby’. As bad as things got sometimes, as much as she could yell and scream when the fit took her, she never seemed to have regrets. Worries, sure, they both had those. The future was still so uncertain in a lot of ways, but things were coming together, and Rory and Jess always knew they had each other, plus Luke and Lorelai to watch their backs.

Apartment hunting had begun. There were some nice places as well as some real dives both in Woodbridge and in New Haven. Either place would work out pretty well for Yale and for Stars Hollow. Of course they only had the one car right now and that was Rory’s that her grandparents bought for her eighteen months before. Jess wasn’t sure what he would do about transport, since they couldn’t afford much, but it was there in the plan to figure out and at least he felt that they were doing something about it now.

It had been pretty scary, the not talking about how things would be after the baby came. Neither Jess nor Rory thought the other was ready to deal and probably kept their mouths shut way longer than they should’ve. Now they were talking, more than ever, with each other and with Luke and Lorelai. Things felt less daunting when there were people to share with, though Jess was pretty sure nothing was ever going to completely eradicate his fear that they might not cope until life proved to them that they could... if they could.

Jess was so tired. He took in deep breaths of the crisp night air and only felt more sleepy. Working two jobs was not at all fun, and then making regular trips to the store for Rory, or just sitting up with her at night when she couldn’t sleep from indigestion, nightmares, or whatever else, it was all taking it’s toll. It didn’t matter though. With Christmas coming, he was at least going to get a few days rest. Jess had never been a huge fan of Christmas when he was younger, mostly because it didn’t seem any more special than any other day to a kid who had Liz for a mother. Luke made some kind of an effort when he moved to Stars Hollow the first time, and Jess at least had fond memories of one festive period with Rory before he skipped town like an idiot. Now he was part of a family, and that meant gifts, a tree, decorations, traditions, and a proper family meal on the day itself. It felt strange to be a part of something like that, and Jess wondered if he would ever get used to it, but he intended to try.

Headed down the street towards home, he stopped a moment to pull his cell from his pocket when it rang. He wasn’t surprised to find it was Rory calling.

“Hey,” he greeted her. “I’m just on my way home.”

“How close are you?” she checked.

“To you or to the store that has the food?” he checked with a smirk because he had a feeling he knew what was coming next.

“I wish I could explain, but right now the only thing I can even think of eating is apples.”

Jess didn’t answer for a full minute as his brain processed that one.

“Ror, you do realise an apple is a fruit, right?” he checked. “As in an actual healthy choice?”

“Be nice to your pregnant fiancée!” she mock-scolded. “Bring me apples, hard working man.”

“On my way,” he promised and then hung up.

Jess let out a sigh as he turned and went back a few paces into Doose’s store. He quickly dicovered they had three kinds of apples and there was no telling which Rory would want. He could call her back but it was likely she wouldn’t know one type from the other if he asked. Jess got her a pound of each and hefted them over to the check out, not even paying attention to who was sat behind it until she spoke.

“Wow, somebody’s feeling healthy today,” said Lindsay as she rang up the purchases.

“Rory’s latest craving,” Jess told her with a smile.

He had no reason to hate Lindsay, only reasons to feel bad for her. Now that he thought on it, he had heard Lorelai mention that Lindsay had a part-time job in the store now, just as her husband once had. She was still with that idiot Forester, and nine times out of ten when Jess saw them in the street they were fighting or at least not looking happy. Nobody was to blame but Dean, that much Jess knew, and he chose to ignore the marriage on the rocks that was none of his business anyhow.

“How is Rory?” Lindsay asked conversationally. “I mean, I’ve seen her in town, and she’s gotten so big. I was going to go over and ask her myself, but...”

“She’s good,” said Jess, knowing precisely why she would feel odd about talking to her husband’s ex that he doubtless still pined for. “Well, as good as a person can be in her condition. I’m just doin’ all I can to keep her happy,” he said, paying for the apples will all the loose change his pocket held and gesturing to said food as evidence of his efforts.

“She looked happy when I saw her,” Lindsay agreed, taking the money and counting it into the register. “I was wrong about her, and about you. Anybody can see how in love you two are.”

Jess winced at her words, not because they weren’t true or anything, only because he knew how much Lindsay needed to believe she wasn’t the only one in loveless relationship that was out of her control. Rory moved on from Dean a long time ago, a temporary lapse of judgement a few months back not withstanding, and Jess truly believed that she loved him only. Lindsay had to play second best, potentially for the rest of her life if she chose to stay married to Forester, and it had to hurt. She didn’t deserve it, but only she could make the decision to change her fate.

Glancing around, Jess realised there was nobody else in this part of the store, nobody to hear what they were saying. He leaned over towards Lindsay a little and spoke quietly.

“Y’know, my mother is on her fourth husband right now,” he told her, “and I’m not sayin’ she’s a role model or anything, not a chance, but she at least understood that if somebody is making you miserable, you get out,” he advised. “Just sayin’,” he shrugged, offering up a brief smile before he turned to leave.

Lindsay considered his words a moment and then called his name. He turned in the doorway to look back at her and found her smiling sadly.

“Thanks.”

He didn’t answer, just nodded an acknowledgement and then left. There was really nothing else he could think to say anyway, and Rory would be getting antsy for her apples by now.

* * *

“Luke? Lukey!”

Lorelai reached across the counter to pull on his arm.

“Sorry, what?” he asked, tearing his eyes away from the window.

“Are you checking out other women while I’m sitting right here?” she asked, faking a scandalised look.

Her boyfriend rolled his eyes and continued with cleaning up the empty diner.

“I was looking at my nephew, wondering why he was carrying three pounds of apples home,” he frowned slightly.

“Maybe he wants to keep the doctor away for a really, really long time,” Lorelai considered. “Or, more likely, Rory is having one of her super duper food cravings again.”

Luke nodded in understanding then, encouraging Lorelai to get her stuff off the counter so he could finish wiping it down.

“So, before the fruity talk,” she smiled, turning around on her stool to follow Luke’s movement. “I was thinking about Christmas gifts for the kids and I’m coming up empty,” she sighed. “And then there’s you.”

“You don’t need to buy me anything else, Lorelai, you just bought me a boat,” he reminded her.

As if she could forget that, and it was true enough that it blew a hole in the money she had available for gifts and such, but it meant too much to Luke to let it go.

“That’s not the same as a Christmas present,” she reminded him, though somehow she doubted he was listening.

Poor Luke. His father’s death had hit him hard at the time it happened, she knew, even though it was years before the two of them met. Every year on the anniversary of the day of William Danes’ loss, Luke kind of went to a dark place. For years, Lorelai didn’t understand why, and now for the first time she had been let into the secret. All she wanted to do was hug him and tell him it was okay. It didn’t fix anything, but Lorelai got the urge to do it even now, so she did.

“You’re not making the cleaning process easier,” he smiled slightly as she clung to his back like an over-sized koala.

“Not trying to,” she muttered, words almost entirely lost in the flannel of his shirt. “I’m sorry, Luke,” she told him then. “I still feel like such an insensitive jerk, never knowing about your dad, and then just sitting there on an anniversary like that complaining about my parents...”

“Hey, you didn’t know,” her boyfriend told her, turning to pull her into his arms. “Besides, my father being gone doesn’t make your parents saints. Hell, my dad wasn’t a saint.”

“But he was a good man, he had to be. Look how well you turned out,” she smiled up at him, making him smile too.

“Y’know, there are times when Jess looks a certain way or says a certain thing and I see Dad in him too,” he sighed. “It’s crazy, I mean he looks a little too much like his own father most of the time, and sometimes like Liz, but every now and then, just like the grandpa he never met.”

A strange look came over Luke’s face then as he seemed to stare off into the distance. Lorelai actually tried to follow his eyeline but could see nothing of interest. That was a daydreamy kind of a look, which Luke almost never wore.

“You okay?” she checked.

Luke shook himself back to reality.

“You were talking about Christmas gifts,” he said suddenly. “I may have just had an insane idea, but I think I know what to give Jess and Rory.”

“Oh, well, okay,” Lorelai nodded. “But first, let me tell you about my idea,” she said excitedly, so glad to finally get to tell him all about the plan she had been forming in her head the last few days.

This was going to be the best Christmas ever!


	33. Chapter 33

When Jess woke up on Christmas morning, the clock said it was a little after six. He tried to move his arm and found it was all but dead beneath Rory’s still sleeping form. That ought to be annoying, and yet as he looked across at his fiancee, the mother of his unborn child, Jess couldn’t help but smile. Here he was with a home and a family, things a guy like him would never have thought to have a year ago, even less. It was Christmas Day, he had a couple of days off work, people around that genuinely wanted to spend the holidays with him, and above all the woman he loved was curled up beside him, smiling in her sleep. In moments like these, Jess was reminded how worthwhile it was to work so hard, to stress so much. It was so worth the effort, every second of it.

Leaning over, he softly kissed Rory’s lips, his free hand gently resting on her pregnant belly. The woman he loved and the baby they made, they were his entire world, and the only gift he could think to want this Christmas.

Rory woke slowly, with a soft smile and even after sigh.

“Good morning,” she said, looking up at Jess.

“Merry Christmas,” he replied.

“And to you,” she said, reaching a hand out to his face, kissing him again. “Mmm, you think Santa paid us a visit last night?”

“Maybe,” he considered, smirking a little. “That all depends if you’ve been a good girl.”

She giggled at his teasing, pulling him closer, finally releasing his arm that screamed with pins and needles the moment it was free. Jess winced as he shook it out.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” said Rory, reaching out to rub his poor arm. “You should’ve woken me sooner, or moved me over...”

“Doesn’t matter,” Jess promised her, somewhat amused when Rory seemed set on literally kissing it better.

Her lips on his skin, no matter what part of his body, just did things to him. Were it not for the fact she was more than six months pregnant at this point, and the bed wasn’t quite big enough in the first place, he had no doubt they would’ve been all over each other when a knock came on the bedroom door. In a lot of ways it was probably better that they had barely got into the kissing when Lorelai let herself in before anybody invited her.

“Merry Christmas!” she yelled into the bedroom, dragging an awkward looking Luke behind her.

It was only when Jess reached to flip on the lamp that he realised Lorelai had a hand over her eyes, peeking ever so slightly between her fingers. Rory laughed and told her mother she was safe to look, as she pulled on the covers to ensure she and Jess were adequately covered.

“For the record, she dragged me in here,” said Luke, shifting awkwardly. “I said you guys would not want to be getting up at six in the morning just because it was Christmas...”

“Luke, it’s fine,” Rory assured him. “Although, if you guys could give us a minute to get dressed, that might be nice.”

“Clothes, yes, you need those” said Lorelai, looking down at herself. “Um, maybe I should too,” she considered her own attire of a dressing gown over nightwear.

She was so used to Christmas just being her and Rory, and now with Luke she figured semi-naked was still fine, but she hadn’t properly considered Jess. Her future son-in-law really didn’t need a show, she supposed, and it didn’t take much for a tie-up belt to come loose in the excitement of Christmas morning.

Lorelai rushed away to dress herself properly, and Luke volunteered to put on the coffee while the kids got dressed. He closed the bedroom door behind himself and Jess rolled his eyes.

“After everything, he still calls us ‘you kids’,” he said to Rory as she worked on levering herself out of the bed. “I swear, we’ll be on social security and he’ll still be saying that.”

“It’s sweet,” said Rory definitely, moving slowly towards the closet. “Hey, do you realise, this time next year there’ll be five of us for Christmas?” she grinned suddenly, one hand still on her aching back, but the other on her precious bump.

Jess smiled at that.

“Yeah, although I doubt a nine month old is going to be participating much in the events of the day,” he considered.

“He’ll still be here,” Rory sighed happily. “That’s kind of amazing to think about. Little scary too,” she admitted, even as she started to sort through her rail of clothing, looking longingly at pretty dresses and tight jeans that she wouldn’t be able to fit into for a good while yet, if ever again.

“Hey,” said Jess, suddenly behind her in only his sweat pants. “I know it’s a lot, what with the baby, looking for an apartment, plus Yale and everything, but you don’t haven’t be scared, Ror,” he promised, kissing her hair as she leaned back into his arms. “We can do this. Together, we can do anything.”

“I know,” she agreed, fingers entwining with his over their son. “And today I don’t want to think about any of the stressful scary stuff anyway. This is Christmas, it’s a happy day, and we’re going to enjoy it, okay?” she said, turning to face him.

“Deal,” Jess agreed, as they shared one more kiss, before getting dressed.

* * *

“Me first! Me first!” Lorelai bounced like a kid from her place on the floor by the Christmas tree, grabbing up a gift that bore her name. 

In the armchair, Luke rolled his eyes at her behaviour but couldn’t keep the smile of his face as Lorelai tore into the gift he had bought for her. Rory and Jess shared the couch, curled up with their arms around each other, happy as clams just to let Lorelai be crazy for now.

“Oh my God!” the woman in question gasped, all the childish glee going out of her in a second as she marvelled at her precious gift. “Luke! This is... it’s beautiful”

“Well, don’t look so shocked,” he teased her. “I’ve known you a long time, Lorelai, I think I know your taste in jewellery by now.”

Her eyes welled up with tears as she pulled the jewel-studded but tasteful piece from its velvet lined box. It had to have cost quite a bit, Lorelai knew that much, and she moved closer to Luke, planting a kiss on his lips.

“Thank you so much,” she said, handing over the necklace as she turned her back to her boyfriend and pulled her hair up out of the way so he could put it on for her.

Rory watched with true happiness as Luke worked the clasp and fixed the chain around Lorelai’s neck, kissing her shoulder before she moved away.

“I’m glad you like it” he said softly.

“I love it, and I love you,” Lorelai promised, eyes sparkling as they stared at each other.

“Geez, next gift already,” said Jess, rolling his eyes, but the smile on his face proved he meant no real malice.

“Impatient boy!” Lorelai teased him, poking out her tongue as she selected the next gift from under the tree anyway. “And this is for... Rory,” she smiled, handing it over. “From your lover,” she winked.

Rory gasped and looked at Jess.

“Hey, we said no gifts for each other this year,” she reminded him.

“No, _you_ said no gifts for each other this year,” he told her definitely. “I didn’t agree to that.”

“Well, then, that’s a good thing,” said Lorelai, looking back under the tree a moment. “Because this one says To Jess, From Rory,” she grinned, handing a decidedly book-shaped gift to Jess.

He let out a scoff of laughter at Rory’s gall but nevertheless started to tear the paper off his present. She followed suit, knowing they were both as bad as each other, at least they seemed to be, until she saw her own gift from Jess was no simple book or CD, nothing cheap certainly. Inside the larger box that disguised the size of the true present was a much smaller one. Before she opened it up, Rory was sure she already knew what she we would find, and yet still gasped in surprise at the sight of a ring.

“It’s not much, and believe me, I know you deserve something way better than a diamond chip like that,” Jess sighed. “But you would’ve killed me if I spent a fortune we don’t have on a really pricey engagement ring.”

“Jess, I told you I didn’t need one at all,” she reminded him.

“I know,” he nodded. “But I wanted you to have one, even if it’s kinda lame.”

“It’s not lame,” she insisted, her hand at his cheek, as tears streamed down her own. “I love it. I love that you were this thoughtful. I... I love you,” she told him, kissing his lips.

“Yeah, you’re not so bad either,” he teased her, making her laugh, their foreheads pressed together still. “Good book choice by the way,” he said of the tome in his hands. “I know how it must’ve pained you to get me anything by good old Ernest.”

“You’re worth it,” she promised, smiling as Jess reached to take the engagement ring from the box and pushed it onto the third finger of her left hand.

“Pretty,” said Lorelai, leaning over to see.

“That’s a nice ring,” agreed Luke when he saw it more clearly.

Jess felt a little dumb. He meant what he said about the ring not being good enough or anything like what Rory deserved, but they had to be practical for the most part. Big flashy diamonds were not realistic, but he could afford something, and Rory had to have something.

“Who knew we were such a mushy crowd?” said Lorelai then, wiping one eye that seemed to watering furiously.

Luke reached down to pull her closer and kissed the top of her head. She was grateful for the gesture and smiled before lunging under the tree for another gift. It was no mean feat dragging out the most ridiculously large box without actually getting up off her knees. Luke was apparently amazed to realise it had his name on it.

“What did you do?” he asked Lorelai, narrowing his eyes at her.

“Well, I bought you a gift,” she said simply, as if that were a sufficient answer to his question.

Rory and Jess looked on as Luke gave in and began to remove the paper from the over-sized box he had been presented with. Once he got into the gift proper, a smile came over his face and he shook his head.

“Lorelai, this is...”

“The set of pans from the shopping channel that you said looked awesome but you would never risk that amount of money on?” she filled in for him. “Yup, that would be them. I figured with the amount of cooking you do for me, and Rory and Jess too, it was only right you had the really good copper bottom, steel walled, fancy schmancy whatever pans that you like,” she grinned, clearly not actually knowing what she was talking about at all.

“You... You just never cease to amaze me,” Luke sighed, thanking her with a huge hug and a kiss.

“Aaaw,” Rory sighed happily, tears in her eyes once again.

“Hey, would you quit that?” said Jess, hugging her closer. “You said today was a happy day,” he reminded her, kissing her temple.

“I am happy,” she promised, even as more tears fell.

He knew she meant it, that her hormones were going crazy and that they were in fact joyful tears she was shedding. There wasn’t time to think about it anymore as Lorelai had the next gift in her hand and was holding out to the young couple.

Rory frowned a little at the sight of an envelope bearing both her name and Jess’ too. The only thing giving it away as a gift was the Christmas bow stuck in one corner. Jess made a gesture for Rory to go ahead and open it on behalf of both of them, even as his eyes strayed to his uncle. Luke wouldn’t meet his gaze, focused solely on Rory’s hands carefully opening up the envelope. If Jess thought she had been crying before, it had nothing on the flood that happened when she saw what the gift from Luke turned out to be.

“Oh my God!” she gasped, shoving the paperwork into Jess’ hands.

He read down the pages quickly and then shook his head.

“No,” he said eventually. “You’re not serious. Luke, this is...”

“It’s your Christmas gift,” he said definitely. “It’s not quite official yet, there are some papers you both need to sign as well to make it complete and legally binding, but it’s the real deal. The two of you, you’re going to own half the diner.”

Jess’ mouth opened and closed several times as his eyes returned to the pages in his hands. Even Rory was having trouble forming words. She really hadn’t expected anything like this at all. Her gaze landed on her grinning mother then.

“You knew about this?” she checked and Lorelai nodded madly. “But you can’t keep a secret!”

“Oh, honey, it has been torture these past couple of weeks!” she declared. “But it was worth it. It was so worth it.”

Jess looked up from the paperwork again. If those around him didn’t know better, they would say there were tears in his eyes. There was certainly a lot of emotion rushing around inside him right now, proven by the fact he had to clear his throat twice before he found his voice to speak.

“Luke, this is... It’s amazing,” he admitted, swallowing hard. “But why would you do this?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” he shrugged easily. “Look, someday this was always going to happen. You’re my nephew, and Rory is... well, I know you have a father already, but I’ve always...” he tried to explain and failed miserably at it, so he gave up, sure Rory understood she was like the daughter he never had. “Anyway, one day, when I’m dead, somebody would get the diner, and I can’t think of anyone but you two I would leave it too. This way, signing over half of the place now means you guys get half the profits when you need it most, for raising your son and everything,” he explained “And you don’t have to be tied to the place or work there all the time. I’m fine with running it for a good while yet. I mean, in an emergency, if I needed somebody to hold the fort, then that would fall to you, Jess, but for the most part you can just work shifts whenever is good for you and collect your half of the money, for your family,” he smiled.

Jess was hearing the words coming out of Luke’s mouth but it was tough to take them all in. The man just gave him and Rory half a diner, half of all the profits from a business he had built with his own hands. It was too much, way more than Jess could ever really deserve. He was shaking his head again without even realising it until Luke called for his attention again.

“Hey, you need this, and more than that you deserve it,” he told his nephew seriously. “I’ll admit, I never would’ve handed over half of my business to that moody seventeen year old with the smoking habit and the attitude that first came into my apartment over three years ago now,” he explained. “But you’ve grown up, Jess, you’ve both grown up together. You’re working hard, you’re supporting each other, and... and I couldn’t be prouder of any two people than I am of you two,” he promised them. 

“Thank you, Luke,” said Rory tearfully as she levered herself up from the couch and reached out to hug him.

He got up too and held his almost-daughter carefully around her bump. Kissing the top of her head, he told her again how proud he was of her, and that he never wanted her to forget it. As he released her, Jess stepped up for his turn at thanking his uncle for his kindness, only he really didn’t know where to start.

“I’m sorry,” he said instead. “For all the crap I’ve put you through, when all you were trying to do was what was best for me,” he continued, waving the paperwork in his hand as evidence of exactly that. “This is way more than I could ever deserve, I know that, but I’m gonna live up to this, I swear, I am.”

“I know you will, you already are,” Luke assured him, pulling him forward into a man-hug that had Lorelai crying in a second.

“Thanks, Uncle Luke,” Jess whispered solemnly before they parted.

“You’re welcome, kid,” he assured him with a smile, making Jess want to laugh.

“Still calling me kid” he muttered to Rory as he re-joined her on the couch, and Lorelai reached under the tree for anymore gifts that remained.

“And we have two more,” she said, sniffing back further tears from the sweetness of the last gift. “Both shockingly similar packages. One for me, one for you,” she told Luke as she handed his over, eyes then going to Rory.

“It’s not much,” she apologised immediately. “And I know you said not to get anything for you guys but we couldn’t just leave you giftless.”

“They didn’t cost a lot of money,” Jess confirmed. “But hey, they say it’s the thought that counts, right? Which sounds really dumb when you just gave us half a diner...”

“Hey, it is the thought that counts,” said Luke definitely as he unwrapped his gift without really looking down. “I don’t want you wasting money on gifts for me when you could be putting it towards food, rent, baby stuff...”

“Oh my God!” Lorelai gasped then, cutting Luke off unceremoniously.

It made him look at her and then down in his lap at whatever it was he had been unwrapping himself.

“Now isn’t that something?” he said to himself, lifting up the frame that lay across his knees to get a better look.

It wasn’t one picture but a collection, all in little squares and ovals, connected up in a tree, under the heading ‘Our Family’. As Lorelai showed Luke her own display, he realised each one was personal. Luke’s had himself, his parents, Liz, Lorelai, Rory and Jess, and right at the bottom a copy of the sonogram picture of the baby, whilst Lorelai’s had her own parents and then the kids and baby picture beneath.

“It all comes apart, so we can update the pictures as the baby grows up, or as we all grow and change, or you can leave it as it is now,” Rory explained. “We just thought it was a nice idea...”

“It’s gorgeous, sweets,” Lorelai told her immediately. “I love it.”

“Me too” Luke agreed. “Very thoughtful. Very nice.”

There was a brief pause that everybody needed to take in all that had just unfolded around the Christmas tree. Such wonderful gifts in all different guises, thoughtful and sweet, beautiful and emotion-inducing. Unsurprisingly when the comfortable silence was finally broken it was by Lorelai.

“Okay, so bad news, good news,” she said, clearing her throat. “Bad news is I have to swing by the inn for a couple of hours, pretty much right now,” she sighed, continuing quickly before anyone protested. “Good news is I left your gift there, so hey, one more happy surprise when I get back!” she smiled at both Rory and Jess.

“You left our gift at the inn?” her daughter frowned. “How did that happen?”

“It’ll make way more sense when I get back,” said Lorelai, getting up quickly and heading for the stairs, presumably to change into more outdoor-appropriate clothing before she headed out.

Luke busied himself with clearing up fallen gift wrap and muttered about starting on dinner. Before long he had disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Rory and Jess alone. She lifted her left hand to gaze a moment and smiled.

“I love my ring,” she said definitely. “You really shouldn’t’ve spent money on something so frivolous, but it’s so pretty and you’re so sweet, I just can’t be mad,” she declared, kissing Jess’ cheek.

“That’s good, because if you were gonna be mad at me for a ring, you’d have to be furious at Luke,” he said, staring once again at the paperwork proclaiming the diner was to be in joint names, half owned by himself and Rory.

“Kinda crazy,” she nodded, looking down at the contract too. “But you have to admit, it’s going to help us a lot.”

Jess had to agree with that. This was maybe the best gift he had ever been given, unless you counted him getting Rory back and them having a son together, which was a different kind of gift, of course. Honestly, he was pretty sure it was going to take more than a little while to wrap his head around all this, how Luke could be so generous, how he could possibly be worthy of such an opportunity. In the end, Jess supposed he should just thank whatever deity or angel or whatever the heck else might be up there watching over him for doing just that. He had never felt so blessed as he did right now.


	34. Chapter 33

Lorelai had been gone for at least two hours, though Rory had failed to notice. She was oddly hypnotised by her ring for a while, and then actually reading a little of Jess’ Hemingway over his shoulder. They were curled up on the couch, quite happy and comfortable, neither really worried about moving or anything, until suddenly the door opened and Lorelai called in to them.

“Hey, kids!” she yelled. “I come bearing gifts!”

“Yay, more presents!” Rory clapped like a little kid, making Jess roll his eyes.

He shoved a page marker in his book and helped Rory up off the couch, but the second they started to turn around, Lorelai protested.

“No, no, no! Backs to me, eyes closed!” she ordered.

Luke wandered out of the kitchen just in time to see the odd display, Rory and Jess in front of the couch, hand in hand with their eyes closed, whilst Lorelai brought their gift in from the porch. This was the very last thing either of them would be expecting, perhaps an even bigger surprise than half the diner. Luke stood back with his arms folded across his chest and a smile on his face as Lorelai got herself into position.

“Okay, and... Merry Christmas!”

It was a close call as to who’s eyes were widest when Rory and Jess realised their gift was nothing bought at the store or wrapped in pretty paper. Their gift was a person, the one person who could complete this happy family scene.“Oh my... Mrs R!” Rory gasped as she threw herself at the sweet old lady.

“Merry Christmas, bella Rory!” she smiled, hugging her tightly. “Look at you, you are glowing. Bella, bella!” she enthused with tears in her eyes.

Rory was bowled over, and honestly, Jess was feeling equally as stunned. The fact that Lorelai even got Mrs Rossini out of New York was incredible. He should’ve known she could be that thoughtful, for Rory at least, if not for him. It was amazing though, having Mrs R here. She had meant so much to him and to Rory, and now she was here. As Christmas gifts went, it was right up there amongst not just the best Jess had ever received, but the best he had ever heard about anybody ever getting.

“Jess, isn’t this incredible?” said Rory with so much glee and the biggest grin on her face.

“Yeah,” he nodded absently, feeling stupidly emotional. “This is... I didn’t think you’d ever leave NYC without chloroform and duct tape being involved,” he told Mrs Rossini.

“You and that smart mouth,” she scolded lightly. “Come, give old Maria a hug,” she urged him, and without complaint Jess did just that.

Off to the side, Lorelai had moved in close to Luke, curling into his side the moment his arm went around her shoulders.

“You did good,” he told her softly, kissing her temple.

“It almost killed me keeping this secret and the diner secret too,” she moaned as if finally letting out the pain the situation had held her in for days now. “But it was so worth it,” she declared, watching Rory and Jess with Mrs R, all with smiling faces.

“I should get back to the dinner prep,” said Luke then, giving Lorelai a final squeeze before slipping away.

Lorelai remained, damp eyes fixed on the scene in the living room still. To herself she whispered; “This is just a great Christmas.”

* * *

Richard knew he was banned from the house whenever Emily was around or even when he might be caught by the staff, because they would report back to the lady of the house. Still, this was Christmas, Emily was away visiting her sister, and he didn’t see why he should spend a chilly day in the pool house if he didn’t absolutely have to. Bringing himself in through the French doors, Richard had plans to go down to the cellar and find a particularly nice bottle of brandy he had been saving, as well as pick up a few more of his records from the study whilst he had the chance. He was humming White Christmas absently to himself as he came through to the living room, and walked straight into his estranged wife.

“Richard!” she gasped at the sight of him. “What are you doing here?”

“Emily,” he said, clearly startled. “You, er... I believed you had gone to visit your sister. I understood from Lorelai that Hopey was expecting you...”

“She was,” Emily admitted, glancing away. “But, I... I found as the time drew nearer to leave that I just couldn’t face her. With things as they are... there would be too many questions,” she said awkwardly, looking down at where her fingers played idly with the trinkets on the table. “I thought you had gone to spend the Holidays with the Clemenceaus,” she noted, looking up sharply then as the realisation of it hit her.

Richard shook his head.

“Claude informed me that the weather in France has been quite the Arctic snap,” he explained. “All planes have been grounded in Paris, nothing going in or out for a couple of days now thanks to an unprecedented amount of snow.”

“Goodness, I had no idea,” his wife replied conversationally, though theirs was far from any regular talk between two regular people.

It was months now since they parted ways, if living one in the house and one in the poolhouse really counted as true estrangement. Most separated couples had a little more distance between them, and though Emily suspected Richard had been seeing other people, and he thought the same of her, neither had really moved on at all. Maybe they were both just waiting for whatever got broken between them to fix itself, though neither was about to admit it. Backing down was not the Gilmore way, even if you did know you were wrong.

“Emily...” said Richard, in a soft tone she hadn’t heard in too long.

It unsettled her and immediately she moved away.

“It’s a good thing you’re here,” she said, clearing her throat, picking a wrapped gift out of a drawer. “This is labelled as being for the both of us, from Rory and that Jess she insists she’s going to marry,” she sighed and rolled her eyes at the same time. “I wasn’t going to open it without you present.”

Richard looked down at the gift in Emily’s hands as she returned to stand before him. There in Rory’s neat handwriting the label said ‘To Grandma and Grandpa, Merry Christmas, from Rory, Jess, and the bump!’ He smiled at what seemed like an adorable sentiment, though he made no comment. It was quite unseemly to speak of an unborn child in such a way, he was sure, but in its own way it was sweet enough.

“Very well,” he said then. “I’m here now, you can open our gift.”

Emily nodded once and started to carefully pull the paper off the present. She had felt through the wrappings what seemed to be a photo frame, though she couldn’t quite figure out what it might be surrounding. She gasped when she saw the family tree display inside of the frame, and all it’s perfectly placed photographs. Richard moved in close beside her to better see the pictures. The family tree had Rory and Jess towards the bottom, and the sonogram picture of their unborn child. Above was Lorelai, Christopher, and then a beautiful portrait of Richard and Emily themselves. There was even a picture of Trix in there. It was the most beautiful and thoughtful gift their granddaughter could have given to them. Emily’s eyes quickly filled up with tears, and a sob escaped her lips unchecked.

“Oh, Richard,” she declared tearfully, and he took the frame from her hands for fear she might drop it. “By next Christmas we’re going to be great-grandparents.”

Richard took a long look at the pictures and then carefully placed the frame on the table. On automatic, he reached for his handkerchief, offering it to Emily so she could wipe her eyes. She was really crying, so moved by the gift it seemed. Despite the situation they were in right now, their separated status be damned, it was just instinct for a man to pull his wife into a hug when she was in such distress. Emily didn’t argue, though he wondered if she might at first. She just curled into his chest as she always had before and allowed him to hold her as she cried.

They stood there in the living room, arms around each other for at least five, maybe ten minutes, before Emily was calm again and her brain caught up to her body. This wasn’t correct at all, not the proper thing to do. To be in Richard’s arms when they were separated, it was all wrong, and yet it did feel so good to be back in the one place she always knew she belonged.

It seemed to be in the very same moment that both Emily and Richard realised this was probably not the right thing to be doing. Slowly, they parted from their hug and met each others eyes, trying to recall why this wasn’t the way things were supposed to be. They had been married almost forty years, stood by one another through so many tough times, through their daughter’s teenage pregnancy, through Richard’s job worries, through everything, just as people who make marriage vows should. Now it was all falling apart, and as they stood here in this moment, neither was entirely sure they remembered why that was.

“What are we doing, Emily?” asked Richard.

“I cried and you comforted me,” she explained simply. “That’s all, isn’t it?”

“I didn’t mean what are we doing in this precise moment,” he rolled his eyes at her. “I mean... I mean, living as we are, parted from one another. To what end?” he asked in earnest. “All these years together, all that we have faced, I know we don’t have a perfect marriage, but surely no two people have.”

Emily shook her head and stepped out of his arms.

“I’m not the one seeing other people,” she said coldly, sniffling a little, folding her arms across her chest as she looked away.

“Who am I seeing?” he asked, arms open wide. “Who are the women that you accuse me of taking out on the town, Emily? I can assure you, that between the club and my barbershop quartet, I would have little time for such activities even if I wanted to indulge in them, and I most certainly do not!” he said definitely.

Emily looked up then, met his eyes once more and knew he spoke the truth. It made her feel strangely guilty, and yet mostly, she was just overwhelmingly relieved. A smile came to her lips unbidden as she made her own confession.

“I... I went on one date,” she told him. “I hated every minute of it” she frowned then. “As charming as the man was, I’m afraid he could never really mean anything to me. Richard, he simply wasn’t... he wasn’t you,” she said, feeling awfully silly admitting it, but it was the truth and nothing else would do somehow. “I’ve missed you terribly,” she told him openly, watching both surprise and joy show on his face as he took in her words.

“I have missed you too, Emily. A great deal,” he assured her, moving in close again, taking her in his arms - she didn’t try to stop him. “It can’t be too late, can it? Surely, we can work all of this out? I mean, do you even remember what we were fighting about in the first place?” he asked her.

The frown returned to Emily’s face.

“Yes, I do,” she said definitely, though she soon let her smile return as she looked up into the face of the only man she ever truly loved. “But perhaps we can talk it all through later, tomorrow or something,” she waved one hand in a dismissive gesture then reached up to take his face in her hands. “Perhaps just for today, we can enjoy a merry Christmas?” she suggested.

“Well, Emily, I think that is the best idea I have heard in a very long time,” he agreed, leaning into her touch, happily kissing her lips.

Though he had only been living a hundred yards from the house this whole time, in that moment Richard felt it had been an exhaustingly long journey and now finally he had come home.

* * *

“You are an excellent cook, Luke,” Mrs Rossini complimented him as the family group sat around the dinner table. “Delicious, truly belissima.”

“Well, thank you, Mrs Rossini,” he nodded politely. “That’s very kind of you. It wasn’t that much really.”

“Oh, don’t say that, honey,” Lorelai told him, patting his arm. “You know you make the best food in town. Why do you think I’ve stuck to you this long?” she winked.

That got a hearty laugh out of everybody, since it was clear to anyone with eyes, nevermind good sense, that Lorelai and Luke were as in love as anybody could be. Rory swallowed her next mouthful and smiled.

“Y’know Mrs R is an amazing cook too,” she told them. “No disrespect to yours, Luke, because you know how much I love it, but Mrs R’s lasagne is just to die for!”

“I would have brought some if I knew you liked it so very much, Rory,” said Mrs Rossini with a smile. “Or if I knew I was coming before the very last minute!”

“How did this happen anyway?” asked Jess the, intrigued by the whole situation. “I mean, you two never met before,” he said, gesturing between Mrs R and Lorelai with his fork.

“Ah, but I had her address from all those letters you guys send back and forth,” explained Lorelai with a grin. “And you both kept on saying how much you would love to see Mrs R, and I was coming up blank on the right Christmas gift for you guys, so I just drove on over to the Big Apple, knocked on the door, and kidnapped you an old lady!”

“Lorelai!”

“Mom!”

Luke and Rory admonished her in unison for the description she used, but Mrs R just laughed heartily.

“What did she say that is not true?” she asked. “You do not get to my age and still believe you are young. Anyway, I think it was a beautiful idea to bring me here for Christmas. As much a gift for me as for anybody,” she said with a wide smile as she put her cutlery down on her near-empty plate and picked up Lorelai’s story from her own side. “You know when this rapping came on my door, I was wary. You know the neighbourhood, Jess, it is not all it could be,” she said with a look. “I check through my spy hole and I swear I see Rory, so I open the door without question. I was surprised to see somebody else, but immediately I guess, this must be the famous Lorelai.”

“I’m famous,” the woman in question told Luke with a grin - he rolled his eyes.

“Then she offered me the chance to come here and spend Christmas with your beautiful familia.” Mrs R went on. “How could I refuse such an offer? And I stay at the most wonderful inn, all hospitality and such good food. The lady chef, she is a wonder!”

“Sookie is the best,” Rory agreed with a nod, before looking to her mother and adding; “We really know a lot of great cooks.”

“Which is a good thing,” Lorelai nodded. “Given that we almost burnt down the house trying to boil water that one time.”

Another wave of laughter passed around the table, even though that comment hadn’t exactly been a joke. They were just a very happy group of people on a perfectly nice Christmas day.

Though Rory and Jess had been keeping Mrs Rossini up to date with all that had been happening with the baby, apartment hunting, and the like, it was nice to have her physically with them, to see how Rory was in a real sense, to meet Lorelai and Luke. She felt like a part of the family after barely ten minutes of them all being in the same house together, and in a lot of ways that was exactly what she was. Rory couldn’t help but think of Mrs R in the same way her own mom thought of Mia. Mrs Rossini had stepped in when Rory was in crisis and her mother wasn’t there to help, much as Mia had been Emily’s substitute when Lorelai first had Rory. In the end the rift had been healed, Rory came home and Lorelai was right back to being there for her, but that didn’t make Mrs R obsolete. She had taken care of both Jess and Rory when they needed it most, and that mattered a lot.

“It’s so great to have you here, Mrs R,” Rory told her as Luke and Jess got up to clear the plates from the table. “How long are you staying?”

“I do not know for certain,” she confessed. “Your mother brought me here for Christmas day, so I suppose tomorrow...”

“Oh, no, don’t leave tomorrow!” Lorelai complained, then off Mrs R’s surprised look she added; “I mean, you can, if you really want to. We’re certainly not keeping you captive or anything, but you are welcome to stay for just as long as you want, Mrs R. That room at the inn? Totally yours for as long as you want it.”

“Oh, thank you, bella, but you need paying guests, and I cannot...”

“Guests, schmests!” Lorelai waved away her concerns. “It’s one tiny single room, and like I told you already, I’m covering it, no charge,” she promised her. “We want you to stay, for Christmas, for New Year’s, until next Christmas if you want.”

Mrs R reached out to take Lorelai’s hand in both of hers.

“Bless you, sweet girl,” she said with a smile and grateful tears in her eyes. “I see where Rory gets not only her beauty but her kind nature too.”

Rory felt her own eyes welling with tears at the sweet exchange. It was so great to be here with her mom, Luke, and Mrs R as well. She and Jess were just so lucky and so blessed. There was no denying that life had sure taken some serious twists and turns over the past few months, but they were adjusting, things were good. They were different, but they were very, very good.


	35. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This time last week, I was feeling pretty crappy, and so there was no update. We now return you to your regularly scheduled Literati fix, and hey, it's a pretty long chapter too! :)

“Oh, wow!” Lane enthused, a giggle escaping as she kept her hand on Rory’s bump until the baby kicked again. “That is so amazing!”

“It’s a little less fun when it’s happening on the inside of you, trust me,” her friend advised, though she was smiling enough when she said it. “Honestly, I could not love this kid more, but when he’s kicking me in the kidneys or sitting on my bladder? Not exactly my favourite moments of pregnancy.”

“Aaaw, be nice to your Mama,” said Lane to the unborn baby boy, before moving her attention back to Rory herself. “It has to be pretty special though, knowing you’re going to have a son in less than three months!”

“It really is,” she agreed. “I mean, you know this was never the plan, but now everything just seems to be coming together. Pretty sure 2005 is going to be a really good year,” she grinned.

“2004 isn’t ending so badly,” said Lane, picking up Rory’s left hand to better to see the ring there. “It’s so sweet that Jess was determined to get you a ring. Oh, I so want what you have!” she complained perhaps slightly too loudly.

“Lane, you’re going to give Zach some kind of seizure!” her friend whispered to her, craning her neck to make sure the guys weren’t listening in from the kitchen. “I think a couple of months of dating is probably a little early to be talking about engagement rings and babies.”

“Oh, no. I don’t want the baby. At least, not for a while yet,” she insisted, shaking her head. “But the engagement ring would be kinda cool.”

It was the way she said it and looked away that made Rory frown. There was more to that comment than met the eye, she was certain. Shifting in a little closer to her friend she got Lane’s attention again to ask what she needed to know.

“You have something you want to talk about? About Zach maybe?”

“No... or yes,” Lane squirmed, checking over her shoulder to see if the guys were coming back in yet, but they weren’t. “I just... I really, really like him, Rory. I like him so much, I think maybe I actually love him, and when he kisses me, I... I want him so bad.”

“Well, there’s nothing wrong with that,” Rory smiled. “I mean, if you feel like you’re ready...”

“I am, kind of,” she frowned. “I mean, I want to. I really, really want to, with Zach, but I just... I’m not sure... And I really don’t want to offend you right now,” she clarified before going on. “Rory, I think I actually have to be married before I have sex.”

Rory’s eyes widened at that revelation. She really didn’t know what to say.

* * *

“Doesn’t it freak you out, man?” asked Zach as he stood by watching Jess finish packing up a flask of decaff coffee and snacks into a bag. “I mean, women get together, they talk about us. They could be saying anything,” he said worriedly. “That freaks me out.”

“Trust me, Zach, when you’ve got a baby due to be born in ten weeks or so, a lot of the little things that used to freak you out, they kind of stop mattering so much,” he said sagely as he completed the task at hand.

They were headed to the town meeting that Taylor seemed determined to have in spite of the fact it was the Thursday between Christmas and New Year, and there really shouldn’t be anything so desperate to be discussed. Rory wanted to go, mostly because she and Lorelai wanted to introduce Mrs R to the town.

Lane and Zach came by to visit a couple of hours ago, and when conversation got particularly girly, Jess excused himself to go run some errands. Zach had followed almost immediately but hadn’t exactly made himself useful. Mostly he just wandered around on Jess’ heels driving him crazy, but he bit his lip and did not show he was annoyed. Rory was all kinds of determined that Jess and Zach had to get along since they were dating a pair of best friends. Jess liked Dave better, that guy had been cool. Zach was nice enough from what he could tell, but not quite as bright as he should be.

“Geez, man. I can’t imagine being a father. I mean, someday, sure, I guess it’d be cool, pass on the family name and all,” he considered. “But now? At our age?”

Jess could do without the colour commentary on his life choices, especially from some guy he only knew because they happened to be dating friends. Jess really wasn’t the most social of people in the first place, and those he did choose to converse with tended to be somewhat smarter than Zach. When the back door opened and Lorelai let herself in, it was actually a blessed relief to see her.

“Hey, you guys ready to go?” she asked cheerily.

“You have no idea,” said Jess with a look that Zach completely missed.

Lorelai saw it and suppressed a giggle.

“Luke is walking Mrs R over to Miss Patty’s so we get the good seats, I came back to grab up all of you young folks,” she explained. “You been having fun?”

“Oh, it’s been a blast,” Jess told her, rolling his eyes as he went through to the living room.

“Huh, and I didn’t think he liked me all that much,” Zach commented as he followed on behind.

Lorelai failed at keeping the laughter in that time and hung back in the kitchen a moment to pull herself together. She heard Rory thank Jess for packing coffee and snacks in case she got hungry or thirsty at the meeting, and then everyone was putting on coats to leave.

“You sure you even want to come, sweets?” Lorelai asked her daughter. “I mean, I can’t imagine what Taylor is even gathering everybody for, but you know how he can go on and on. Could get pretty late.”

“I can cope with one late night,” said Rory, though she yawned even as she said it. “Besides, you know I love the wackiness.”

“And we have that in spades here in the Hollow,” her mother agreed as the five all walked out together.

As planned, when they got to Miss Patty’s, Mrs R and Luke were waiting with the whole front row of seats reserved for their group. They arrived just in time, as Taylor began banging the gavel and calling the meeting to order.

“Now, I would like to thank you all for coming to this meeting. I know we don’t usually have these kind of gatherings in the midst of the holiday season, but on this occasion there is a lot to get through and it was deemed necessary...”

“Who is the man on the stage?” Mrs Rossini asked Lorelai in a whisper, even as he continued to drone on.

“That is the famous Taylor Doose that I have told you oh so much about,” she grinned.

“Really?” she checked, frowning a little. “But you did not mention he was so handsome.”

Lorelai choked on thin air when she heard that comment. Rory hadn’t heard from along the row and looked at her mom with confusion as she coughed loudly.

“Lorelai are you quite alright?” asked Taylor with a sigh, not at all amused at being interrupted.

She shook her head and waved away his concern, as her breath finally came back to her.

“I’m fine, Taylor. I’m sorry,” she apologised, encouraging him to go on, and of course he did.

“Now, the Christmas pageant was a particular success this year,” he told the gathered crowd. “Great thanks to go to all those who assisted with costumes and scenery, and of course our wonderful actors. Rory Gilmore was particularly convincing in the role of Mary before the birth of baby Jesus, and Lulu did a wonderful job with the after-birth Mary.”

Rory blushed at the compliment, just like always. It wasn’t as if she didn’t know she got the part primarily because she was the most pregnant person in town, but it was still nice to hear she had done well. She noticed Taylor didn’t mention Jess at all. His playing Joseph had been somewhat controversial, and he hadn’t wanted to do it at all, but the only other candidate seemed to be Kirk. In Jess’ own words ‘that freak is coming near my fiancé and my kid over my dead body’, so it was pretty much a case of Jess himself playing Joseph or Rory pulling out of the festivities. The latter was not going to happen.

“Now, moving on to upcoming events...” Taylor continued, telling the collected members of town how New Year was to be properly marked.

It was all pretty pointless, just as Jess expected it to be. Stars Hollow had a New Year’s party every year and it was always the same deal, since long before he moved here (so he was told) and probably would be long after everyone in this room was gone. The weirdest part to Jess was that said party was over by nine at the latest, meaning the actual arrival of the New Year was never marked. This was all because of Taylor’s rules about noise pollution and other similarly dumb things that should never apply when an entire town was wanting to celebrate the coming of a new year. Still, he rambled on with how things were going to be, and Jess glanced down the row of family and friends at the reactions of everyone else.

Rory was yawning again, Lorelai was whispering to Luke, and between the Gilmore Girls, Mrs Rossini gave rapt attention to Taylor Doose with what Jess could only describe as a dreamy smile on her face. That was just disturbing. He glanced the other side of himself to see Lane and Zach sat comfortably together, his arm along the back of her seat, her leaning into him some with the biggest smile on her face. She smiled a lot more since she started dating the idiot. Maybe the guy was smarter than he seemed. Of course, Jess couldn’t help but let his eyes wander back to Mrs R after a while. She really did seem to be awfully interested in Taylor. Jess shuddered at the thought, until suddenly his mind conjured up the image of Mrs Rossini actually coming on to Taylor and him being petrified by the old lady that could more than hold her own. That was just too damn funny, and somehow Taylor managed to look over right at the moment when Jess could barely contain the laughter rising in his chest.

“Mr Mariano,” the town selectman said sharply. “I’m afraid I’m failing to see what is so amusing about the right of every man, woman, and child in our town to walk down a clean and tidy street on the first morning of a new year.”

Jess hadn’t been listening to anything Taylor said before, but he could guess what he missed. Unfortunately trying to speak at all just made the laughter escape. He bit his lip, tried to think of something smart to say.

“Not amused, Taylor,” he assured him. “I’m sorry, I’m just feeling very happy tonight. That’s not against the town charter is it?” he asked smartly.

Taylor looked ready to start a fight until he looked at Rory, Lorelai, Luke, and their older lady friend who he was sure he’d never seen before. There really was no point in starting a fight with that family, especially not with young Rory pregnant and emotional. Besides, smiling wasn’t a crime, Jess was right on that. Taylor shook his head and let it go.

“Moving on...” he said, clearing his throat and going on with his speechifying.

Rory looked sideways at Jess, wondering what was really making him so smiley. She didn’t doubt he was happy but there had to be more to it than that.

‘What?’ he mouthed to her when she stared at him.

‘Nothing,’ she shook her head, picking up his hand in hers and squeezing before turning her attention back to Taylor.

Jess looked down at her hand clasped with his own and felt the smile on his face growing. Maybe what he said to Taylor wasn’t entirely accurate, but he really was pretty damn happy right now, and that was the truth.

* * *

“I can’t believe you let that happen!” Luke exclaimed for maybe the third time since they left the town meeting and headed back to The Crap Shack.

“Oh, calm down,” said Lorelai, leaning into him with her head on his shoulder. “Mrs R asked me to introduce her to Taylor and they get along. What difference does it really make to you?”

“He’s Taylor!” said Luke loudly. “And she’s... she’s a nice lady. I can’t even... It’s just wrong.”

Rory laughed at that.

“I don’t think it’s wrong, I think it’s sweet,” she grinned big, hand held in Jess’ own as they wandered along home behind the ‘grown ups’. “Two lonely older people getting to know each other. They could be great friends... or more.”

“Ah, geez,” her fiancé groaned at those last two words. “I do not need that mental image, and even if I could stand to think about Taylor getting familiar with anybody, Mrs R would eat him for breakfast.”

“That certainly calls for a ‘dirty!’,” said Lorelai, looking back over her shoulder at them.

Jess rolled his eyes. Rory only laughed harder. The fact remianed that it was kind of nice to know that Mrs Rossini had made a friend outside of their family. It might encourage her to stay longer, and Jess in particular was glad about that. He hated knowing that Mrs R was alone in that awful neighbourhood he had also called home for a while. Stars Hollow was a nutty town, but at least it was safe.

As the four reached the house, Lorelai checked her watch. It wasn’t that late, but she knew for a fact she had heard Rory yawn at least six times on the journey home. It made her wonder about her baby girl’s insistence that tomorrow night she planned to stay up past midnight to see 2005 arrive in all its glory.

“Babe, are you sure you want to do the whole New Year’s thing tomorrow night?” she checked as they headed up onto the porch and opened up the front door.

“Yes, definitely,” she said with determination. “I can nap tomorrow afternoon, and sleep in all day Saturday if I need to, but I am going to be awake at midnight!”

“Why the steely resolve on this one?” asked Jess curiously as all four of them filed into the house.

“I... I don’t know,” Rory squirmed a little, proving that in fact she did know she probably just didn’t want to say.

“Rory...” he challenged her, and all at once she caved with a large sigh.

“Okay, so things are only going to get tougher next year. We’re going to have a nine month old, you’ll be working hard, I’ll be at Yale, we’ll probably be in our own apartment somewhere else, not in Stars Hollow,” she reeled off, all in one long burst, as was the Gilmore way. “I need to see in one more New Year here, in this house, with my family as it stands now. I just... I’m not unhappy with how things are going to be, Jess, but I need this. Do you understand?”

“Sure, I get it,” he nodded, though somehow he looked a little like maybe he didn’t get it, or just didn’t like it somehow.

Rory didn’t get a chance to question that when suddenly she herd her grandpa’s voice and moved further into the living room to investigate. Lorelai had hit play on the one message left on the answering machine while they were out, and Richard was apparently the person who left it.

‘I was considering coming over to your house to see you, but that was much harder to do without your mother finding out. I would like to give you some news, Lorelai, and Rory too, assuming she is listening. Emily and I are reconciled. We have talked things through and... well, things are once again as they should be between us. I shan’t bore you with the details, but that is the news I wished to share. The other reason for my calling is this, I would appreciate if you would call your mother, Lorelai, and discuss when you might next attend Friday Night Dinner. Emily will not directly admit it, but I know she misses seeing you girls, and still feels there is a rift that remains unhealed between herself and the two of you. Our separation means I do not know all the details, but I would hope that the both of you, and Luke and Jess, of course, might attend dinner next Friday so we can talk things out. If you could call me back at some point, let me know your thoughts, that would be more than welcome. Thank you.’

The message ended, and Lorelai and Rory shared a look.

“Huh,” said mother to daughter eventually. “Um, weren’t they both supposed to be away, in different places, for like the entire Holiday season?”

“That’s what I heard,” Rory replied. “But yay for them being back together at least?”

“Oh, definite yay,” Lorelai agreed.

“Did I just get ordered to go to Friday Night Dinner?” asked Luke, looking as uncomfortable as he both sounded and felt.

“I’m not sure it's an order anymore,” his girlfriend considered. “But a definite request. How’d you feel about that, hon?” she asked Rory.

“I don’t know,” she confessed. “Mostly tired, I think,” she admitted with a vague smile. “A little thirsty.”

“I could make cocoa?” Luke offered, making Rory smile.

“That’d be so great, thanks, Luke. I’m just gonna go freshen up before I turn in,” she said, heading for the bathroom.

She made no comment about the fact Jess wasn’t there. He had wandered off towards the kitchen with the bag in his hands that had contained snacks and a flask of coffee, so Rory just assumed he went to deal with that. Lorelai found it curious when she followed Luke into the kitchen that the bag was just casually dumped on the table and Jess was gone. She peeked into the bedroom, but he wasn’t there either. Checking out of the window, she spotted him.

“You want cocoa too?” asked Luke.

“No thanks, babe,” she replied absently, wondering why Jess was hanging out alone on the back porch in the dark.

Lorelai moved towards the back door and then doubled back with a smile on her lips she couldn’t help. Opening up the refrigerator, she passed the milk to Luke then helped herself to two beers. 

“I’ll be right back,” she told her boyfriend as she headed out the back door.

Jess was so lost in thought, he didn’t even hear her coming. If he had noticed the back door open and close, he probably would have guessed at it being Rory anyway. He really wasn’t expecting Lorelai at all.

“That tree is familiar,” she muttered to herself as she walked up beside Jess who was leaning on the porch rail, looking out unseeing across the dark yard. “Hey,” she greeted him, nudging his arm with one of the beer bottles.

“Thanks,” he said as he took it from her, though he barely glanced her way.

Something was up, Lorelai was pretty damn sure on that, though she was a little baffled as to what that thing was exactly. Jess had made mention at the town meeting of being so darn happy he could burst and he had certainly seemed pretty thrilled with life the last few days. Rory and the baby were all good, half a diner was now in the names of Mariano and Gilmore, Mrs Rossini was here for what seemed to be a good long visit, and everything was all smiles and joy. Right now, Lorelai was seeing no particular happiness in Jess, and it bothered her. The only trigger she could think of was the phone call from Richard, but why that should bother Jess she couldn’t say. She wanted to tell him to snap out of it, to remember he had a good thing going, so if he was thinking of running or being a jerk, he should think again. A stab of guilt hit her hard in the chest when Lorelai started to get a distinct feeling of deja vu.

“You remember the first talk we had out here?” she asked so suddenly, Jess almost visibly jumped.

“Of course,” he nodded once, turning to look at her, wondering where this was going.

Lorelai smiled slightly, with nostalgia he supposed, and some kind of awkwardness too.

“I remember it a little too well,” she confessed, sipping on her beer as he did the same “First I remember you, your attitude and that teen angst thing you had going on,” she explained, not surprised to see the familair smirk come to Jess’ lips at the description. “And then I get mad and I remember me. I hear the words I said playing in my head like a bad recording and... and I just wanna grab 2001 me and knock her upside the head,” she declared, complete with hand gestures that almost spilled her beer all over the porch.

Jess was a little surrpised by what she was saying, but he didn't let it show.

“I wasn't exactly charming,” he shrugged as he turned to face her, leaning back against the rail now and taking a long drink from his beer bottle.

Lorelai shook her head.

“I never even gave you a chance,” she told him what he had to already know. “I should have, Jess. Of all the people who should’ve understood where you were coming from, it was me, and instead of accepting that you were a mixed up kid that needed a little understanding, I... I freaked out. I saw how you could hurt Luke and how you could mess things up for Rory, and I freaked,” she shrugged, not knowing how else to explain.

Jess frowned at that.

“How could you possibly have known on that first night that I was even interested in Rory?” he asked in earnest.

Lorelai’s face took on a smirk that Jess himself would have been proud of.

“A mother knows,” she said with a nod of her head. “You're the kind of guy that gets a girl's attention. Like I told you once before, you have enough parts of your personality that remind me of myself, but there’s a healthy dose of a young Christopher Hayden in there too, or there was anyway,” she sighed. “Rory was always going to like you, and she’s so great, obviously you were going to like her. It scared the hell out of me, but I shouldn’t’ve taken that out on you. You weren’t the best kid, Jess, we both know that, but what I’m saying is... well, it’s not entirely your fault that things with you and me, and even with you and Rory, were so rocky for a while,” she explained. “For the part I played in making things tougher for you before, I am sorry.”

Jess was a little bowled over by all this. Sure, he and Lorelai got along way better now than they ever had before, but he believed that was because he had to grow up these past few months. He still thought she looked back and hated his younger self. Apparently not so much anymore.

“I’m sorry too,” he said after a long pause. “I mean, you weren’t the only one prejudging people... or the only one that was pretty terrified that night.”

That was a lot for him to admit, and Jess did so quietly and with his face turned away. Still, it made Lorelai smile. It took a lot for any person to admit that something in life really scared them. It took a very lot when that person was a guy like Jess and the confession was being made to his future mother-in-law.

“So, slate wiped clean,” she said, leaning on the rail beside him. “Here’s to a new year with no need for cream pies at the Crap Shack.”

Jess took a second to get the reference and then let out a chuckle of laughter.

_“There have been very few moments in my life where I have actually wished I had one of those enormous cream pies you can just smash in someone's face, but this is definitely one of them!”_

“To the new year, a new start,” he agreed, clinking his beer bottle against hers, before they both drank.

“You’re still going to have to come to Friday Night Dinner,” said Lorelai in the strangely comfortable silence that followed.

Yeah, Jess had seen that one coming.


	36. Chapter 35

Rory had been so determined to stay up until midnight for New Year. There had been talk of inviting Sookie and Jackson over, maybe Lane and Zach too, but people had their own plans, and in the end it was just the family of four sat around the TV to see the ball drop with Dick Clark’s usual commentary. Even Mrs Rossini had declined the invitation to attend, stating she had seen quite enough New Year celebrations in her time. She was grateful to still be around for one more, but she valued her sleep too much to give it up.

As it was, just as soon as the moment was over, with hugs and kisses all round, Rory called it quits and went to bed. Jess willingly went with her, and Luke and Lorelai weren’t far behind. It had been a nice night spent together, as they always were, but Rory was pretty sure she had never been this tired before in her whole life. On making some comment about that, she wasn’t entirely happy to hear from her mom that it would only get worse after the baby came along. Rory couldn’t think about that right now, she hadn’t the brain capacity for it. She just needed sleep. Unfortunately, when her mind started to whir with possibilities, worries and concerns, it became completely impossible to rest properly. Beside her, Jess was already dead to the world, snoring a little, but not so much it should stop Rory getting to sleep. No, it was her own brain keeping her awake - it just wouldn’t be quiet.

Forcing herself to think only of nice things and happy times, Rory even resorted to counting sheep in an attempt to fall asleep. Often she would read a book to help her drift off, but that would mean putting on a light and probably waking Jess, which wasn’t fair. He was working so hard. Though he got a couple of days off for Christmas, Walmart had him back in most days since, and he had helped Luke out at the diner too. He was always rushing to and from either job, fetching and carrying for Rory too. If she wasn’t already completely in love with him before, she had to be now. He was just being so wonderful about everything. Jess hadn’t even complained too much when he realised he was going to have to attend Friday night dinner at the end of the week. Rory wasn’t particularly looking forward to that either, but she would go and make nice because it was the right thing to do.

Heaving a big sigh, Rory shifted around under the covers, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in. That didn’t come easy with her ever-expanding baby bump, pains in her back, and indigestion that was getting to be almost constant no matter what she did or didn’t eat. She began counting in her head again, and thankfully this time, she barely made it to fifty before sleep claimed her at last.

* * *

There were bells ringing somewhere, and if Jess found out who it was making that noise he was going to do them some serious damage, of that he was pretty certain. He came to way too fast, squinting at the clock on the nightstand. The exact time was lost on him but it started with an eight, so he was not at all happy. Work weren’t expecting him until four, and he and Rory were supposed to be catching up on some sleep here. Thankfully she was sleeping through what Jess had now figured out was the phone ringing. Lorelai and Luke would've left for work already, and so Jess rolled out of bed and wandered sleepily out into the hall in only his pyjama pants. He reached the phone just as the machine kicked in. Leaning heavily against the wall, he listened as the message started to be left.

‘This is a message for Rory Gilmore and Jess Mariano. I just got word that an apartment has become available in New Haven. Ground floor, spacious, and with a good deal on the rent...”

That was as far as the realtor got before Jess grabbed up the phone.

“This is Jess Mariano,” he said quickly. “Er, where exactly is this apartment?” he checked, looking around for a notepad and pen to take down the address and finding it just in time to do so.

In doing so, he noticed there was already some writing scrawled on the top sheet of the pad. Lorelai’s handwriting said she and Luke left already to go to the inn and the diner respectively. She didn’t want to wake them and hoped Rory felt better for the rest. Jess didn’t have time to think about that right now as he jotted down the address of the apartment and gave the realtor his full attention.

“And we can see it today?” he asked.

“I would advise that you come over just as soon as you can,” said the helpful lady on the other end of the line. “Obviously we don’t usually even work January 1st, but the client wants a fast deal and these kinds of places do get snapped up pretty fast. I’ve got three other clients to inform as it is...”

“No,” Jess cut in fast, knowing he and Rory had to see this place before anyone else.

It was a nightmare trying to find an apartment that was right for them. Ideally, they needed something on the ground floor so there wouldn’t be the problems of non-functioning elevators or a multitude of stairways to carry the baby up and down, including stroller, groceries, and whatever else he or Rory might be carrying. It had to be big enough for two adults and a child, and in a decent enough neighbourhood that Rory would feel safe there alone, plus it couldn’t be too expensive if they were going to afford it. So many caveats and addendums made it difficult to find the perfect place, but there was a chance this was it. Jess couldn’t let it slide by - time was running out!

“Er, what if we came over now?” he asked then. “Could you let us see it before you called these other people, please?”

There was a long pause when Jess knew she was considering it, and he decided to play every card he had.

“The baby is due in eleven weeks and we really have to have a place by then, it’s worrying the hell out of my fiancée,” he explained, barely exaggerating actually, since Rory had experssed concerns before now. “Please, help me out here.”

“Okay,” she eventually gave in with a sigh. “But you would have to be at the apartment ready to view within the hour, otherwise...”

“We’ll be there,” Jess promised with the biggest grin on his face. “Thank you.”

Moments later, the phone was back in the cradle and Jess was all but running back to the bedroom. Rory had woken up somewhere along the line, but she looked like she wished she wasn’t.

“Sleep!” she moaned. “Why are you all upright and stuff? It’s sleep day,” she declared.

Jess shook his head as he crouched down by Rory’s side of the bed.

“Sorry, sweetheart, but sleep’s gonna have to wait,” he told her, not surprised when she groaned and hid her head under the pillow.

“You’re a crazy person!” she told him.

Jess tried not to laugh at her.

“Ror, c’mon!” he urged her to move, pulling the pillow away from her face. “That was Rosie, the lady from the realtors, on the phone,” he explained. “She found us a place but we really, really have to go now. She’s holding it for one hour, and if we’re not there, she’s going to offer it to other people.”

Rory opened one eye and peered at him then.

“Does it sound good?” she asked sceptically.

“She’s a realtor, she makes everything sound good,” he shrugged. “But this could be it, Rory. This could be the apartment we’ve been waiting for. We can’t miss it. Time’s running out.”

His words had two meanings and she knew it. The hour deadline he mentioned was ticking away as long as she laid there unmoving, plus the time they had left to find an apartment before the baby came along was getting less and less every day. Eleven weeks, that was all they had left. If this was a great apartment, and it could be, they really couldn’t miss this chance.

With a groan, Rory fought to sit up and Jess helped her achieve it.

“Why did I have to give up real coffee?” she complained, pushing her hair back off her face.

Jess leaned down to kiss her forehead; “Because neither of us wants a son with two heads and ADD,” he reminded her. “C’mon, we need clothes, unless you think the lack of will get us a discount.”

“Mmm, this view could knock a few dollars off a price,” she said with a smile, letting her hands run over Jess’ bare chest. “But it’s all mine, so Rosie doesn’t get to see.”

“Clothes it is,” he agreed with a grin, planting another quick kiss on her lips before they both really did have to get to moving.

* * *

“Right on time,” said Rosie as the car pulled up to the kerb and Jess helped Rory out into the sidewalk.

It seemed like a nice neighbourhood, not that there were exactly bad parts of New Haven, but less nice certainly. This was a decent and clean looking street, and the apartment block Jess and Rory had been expecting turned out to be a large converted house with just a half dozen apartments inside. It looked nice, homely, friendly if that was really an adjective one could apply to a building. Rory looked up at the facade and a smile came over her face. Somehow just seeing that reaction to the outside of the place, Jess had a feeling they had found their new home before they ever got inside.

Rosie took them in, reiterating the fact that she really was doing them a serious favour by letting them see the place before calling her other clients. Whether that was supposed to add pressure and force Rory and Jess into taking the place, neither was sure, but it really didn’t make any difference anyway.

It wasn’t the biggest apartment in the world. There was only one bedroom but it was big enough for both a double bed and a crib, plus all the storage the three of them should need. The bathroom wasn’t huge, neither was the kitchen, but that wasn’t a great concern, and there was a pretty decent-sized living room area that could be used for everything else. It would need redecorating, since Jess was pretty sure the last people who lived here were right out of the nineteenth century, but it was all clean and decent looking.

“What do you think?” he asked Rory as they completed their tour.

She looked out of the window at the lack of view and shrugged.

“All the important stuff is here,” she told him. “I never cared much about a view or anything. It’s in a good place, there’s parking space, and okay, so the baby won’t have his own room, but I don’t think he would really need that right away, and...”

“Rory,” he cut off her rambling when he realised she probably needed to breathe. “Yes or no?” he asked her simply. “Because I’m cool either way.”

“Okay,” she nodded then, a smile overtaking her face. “Yes. I love it!”

Rosie seemed almost as thrilled as the couple she had made a deal with. The paperwork was duly signed and by the time they drove back to Stars Hollow, Rory and Jess were the proud tenants of their very own apartment.

“This is so crazy!” Rory laughed, unable to help it. “Jess, we have an apartment! An apartment, and it’s ours.”

“It’s ours for as long as we keep up payments on the rent,” he reminded her. “But yeah, it’s pretty much ours, I guess. Since Luke gave us half the diner, I can’t imagine we’ll fall behind,” he considered.

“This is amazing. Jess, we have an apartment, half a diner, and a baby on the way,” said Rory, one hand on her swollen stomach. “We’re... grown-ups.”

Her apparent sudden realisation and the odd expression on her face when he glanced at her made Jess laugh out loud.

“You just figured that out?” he checked. “Wow, and I thought you had to be really smart to go to Chilton and Yale," he teased her with a smirk that earnt him a smack across the arm with the lease they just signed.

“Be nice,” she told him, though it was hard not to laugh herself. “Ooh, I should call Mom!” she suddenly gasped, reaching in her purse for her cell phone and speed-dialling.

Jess sat back and listened to Rory waxing lyrical about the apartment to her mother. Lorelai cheered so loud, he actually heard her from the driver’s seat. Jess rolled his eyes at the excitement, because at the end of the day it was just an apartment, at least that was what he would have said in any other circumstances. The truth was, he couldn’t really be so cold about this situation. Sure, they were renting an apartment, but they were going to make a home there. It was fine at the Gilmore girls’ place, and Jess kind of felt like he belonged in a strange way, but it wasn’t entirely home. With Rory, he would build a home at their apartment, the two of them and their son. It was still a little scary, Jess would admit that inside his own head at least, but he liked it. He liked it a lot.

* * *

Sunday morning started as Saturday had, with sleep. Lane had switched shifts with Jess so he didn't have to work until the afternoon and he and Rory tried for the second day in a row to get some serious sleep. It was almost eleven a.m. when Rory woke with a large yawn to find Jess already sat up against the headboard with a book in his hand. She smiled at the sight of him, bare chested with one arm behind his head and the Hemingway she bought him for Christmas in his other hand.

“Good morning,” she sighed happily, looking up at him.

“Morning, sleepy head,” he greeted her, as she moved to sit up beside him.

They shared a kiss and Rory curled into Jess’ side without hesitation.

“I slept soooo well,” she told him happily.

“Me too,” he agreed, hugging her close with one arm.

Putting his book down on the nightstand allowed him to get a better hold of her, and he kissed the top of her head.

“How long have you been reading?” she checked.

Jess shrugged; “I barely got through one chapter before you woke up.”

“Hmm, why can’t every day be just like this?” she smiled happily. “This reminds me of New York when I first came to find you.”

“When you first came to find me, I was sleeping on the floor,” he reminded her.

Rory giggled; “You were a real gentleman.”

“Yeah, well,” Jess shrugged. “Now we’re engaged, I don’t have to be so decent anymore,” he half-joked, leaning down to kiss her lips hungrily.

It was no fleeting moment as the passion rose between them. Lorelai had stayed over with Luke last night so there was no one else in the house, no worries of being interrupted. Of course, making love wasn’t quite as it once had been with Rory being six months pregnant, but that wasn’t going to stop her enjoying herself. Jess was making her feel all the best feelings right now and she was quite happy to let him continue. Unfortunately, just as they were getting seriously into things, the doorbell rang. Jess didn’t even react, just carried on kissing her like nothing happened.

“Jess,” Rory prompted him to stop a minute. “The door,” she gasped more than spoke as her body reacted to his touch.

“If we ignore it, they’ll go away,” he said softly, not letting up for a second.

Rory wanted to believe that, she really did, but when the person beyond the door gave up on the bell and started knocking very loudly, she just couldn’t.

“Jess,” she said again, forcing herself to break away a little. “It might be important.”

He knew she was right. There could be an emergency. Mrs Rossini might need them, or there might be a crisis at the diner. It was hardly the responsible adult thing to do to ignore it so he could get some, but honestly, Jess really wished he could go back to being a careless teenager right now, if only for an hour or two. Thirty minutes would’ve sufficed!

Jess was practically growling as he gave in and let Rory go, climbing out of bed and storming out through the bedroom door in his state of undress, not caring at all about that. Rory stayed put. Somewhere between the pregnancy and the things Jess had been doing to her, there was no way she was moving quickly if at all, and it really didn’t take two people to answer the door. Whoever it was, whatever was happening, Jess would come back and tell her if she needed to know about it.

The persistent knocker was now slamming his hand against the door as Jess got out into the hallway.

“Alright, alright!” he yelled crossly. “This better be damn important, wise ass!” he continued as he tore open the door “Who the hell are you?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” said the stranger on the front porch. “Rory!” he then called into the house.

Jess was amazed she could move as fast as she seemed to, suddenly appearing at his side, tying her robe around her quickly.

“Oh my God! Dad!” she gasped at the sight of him.

Jess looked from one to the other with wide eyes. So, he probably hadn’t made the best first impression on Christopher Hayden. Oops?


	37. Chapter 36

If Rory had to choose which had been the most awkward moment since her father arrived in Stars Hollow for a visit, she would be hard pushed to pick just one, and so far he had only been here a few short hours! Having her dad meet her fiancé the way they had was pretty bad, with Jess pretty much telling Chris where to go before finding out his real identity. The fact he and Rory had been half way towards sex when her father started knocking on the door was also mortifying. Not that he knew exactly what he had interrupted, but Rory knew Christopher wasn’t stupid - he had to have some idea. He also had to be well aware that his daughter was having sex. People didn’t usually get pregnant without the process that leads to such a situation, but this was different, and so embarrassing.

So many more awkward moments had followed that first meeting between Chris and Jess. Rory had to leave them alone for a while, since she needed to get dressed and it took her way longer than it took Jess to be presentable. She never expected them to get along like best buds, not when Jess was the guy that got her pregnant, as well as the boy who crashed her car, broke her wrist, left her behind, broke her heart. Nobodies dad was ever going to massively impressed, but all this coupled with a bad first impression, Rory hated that things were icy between two of the most important men in her life before they ever really even had a conversation together.

They managed to talk like adults. To be fair, Christopher focused almost all his attention on Rory, checking on her condition, her health, her happiness. Then he had to go ahead and ask how Lorelai was doing. Telling her dad that her mom was happily dating somebody else felt very strange, especially when that man was Luke, and Jess’ uncle.

“If she’s happy then I’m happy for her,” said Chris, though his tone betrayed him.

Jess bit his lip and said nothing. He supposed he couldn’t really blame Christopher for not being Luke’s biggest fan, and the reverse was also true for some pretty good reasons. No guy was going to like his ex’s latest squeeze. No guy was going to be a fan of his almost-step-daughter’s absentee biological father. Jess remembered some of his uncle’s best anti-Chris rants and used to join in with them half the time. Anyone who let down Rory was pretty scummy as far as Jess was concerned, and he included himself on that list for a long time. At least he was trying to make amends, every single day. Christopher didn’t exactly seem all that eager. Sure, he was here now, but he’d taken his sweet time. Plus he was only staying a couple of days, at least that’s what he said. So much for caring.

“How’s G.G.?” asked Rory when another akward silence desceneded.

“She’s great, yeah,” Chris nodded. "She's with my parents right now. I thought we should get the chance to talk without her running around," he explained, reaching into his pocket for his wallet.

He showed Rory a picture and she in turn showed Jess. Her fiancé smiled and nodded, though he could tell just from the snapshot what a brat the kid must be. That and the fact she was clearly spoiled from the way her father talked about her. It stung Rory to hear of all G.G.’s advantages, of all the time she and Chris supposedly spent together. 

“It’s tough on her since Sherry left,” he sighed. “Only having one parent around, it’s not fair.”

Jess watched Rory flinch as if she’d been struck but her painted-on smile was back in a second. Christopher either didn’t notice it was fake or just didn’t care. Growing up with one parent was hard, Rory knew that better than anyone. Of course Jess pretty much grew up without a mother or a father. Jimmy was entirely absent, but Liz wasn’t exactly the poster child for responsible parenting. Other things always got in the way of her being the model mom, stuff like men, booze, weed, and whatever latest project she decided was going to turn her life around. Jess shook his head, maybe at the memories of his own poor childhood, more so at Christopher’s attitude when it came to his daughters.

“There’s something to be said for growing up lacking in parenting,” said Jess coolly, eyes fixed on Rory only even as he felt her father turn and glare at him again. “Makes you want to be the best you can be for your own kid,” he said definitely. “At least, it should.”

Rory smiled at that, as much gratitude as anything showing in the look she gave him. Jess understood, just like always. She didn’t want to be hurt by her father’s words. Christopher didn’t mean to do it, to cause her pain, but he did it all the same, putting so much effort into G.G.’s upbringing though he barely ever kept a promise to Rory throughout her whole life. She never worried about Jess being absent or in any way negligent where their baby was concerned. He just wasn’t that guy, and Rory believed he never would be.

Jess’ watch beeping told him he had somewhere to be. His shift started at the diner in thirty minutes so he really had to get ready and go. Leaving Rory with her father was okay, he wouldn’t harm her or anything, but still Jess wished he didn’t have to. It wasn’t as if he really believed Rory couldn’t handle herself, or that she would listen to any bad-mouthing Christopher might decide to do behind his back. Jess would just rather throw the guy out right now and have done with it. To his mind, Lorelai’s respect was worth the earning, just as Luke’s had been. When it came to Chris, Jess couldn’t care less.

Kissing Rory goodbye, Jess threw on his jacket and headed for the door. He physically jumped when he opened it and found a visitor on the porch, all ready to knock.

“Mrs R,” he smiled at the sight of her. “I was headed to work...”

“I know this,” she told him. “I thought perhaps Rory would like company while her man earns the crusts,” she chuckled, slapping him on the shoulder.

“I’m sure she would, except her father is actually in there right now. Kinda turned up unannounced,” he explained.

“Ah, that is nice,” Mrs R said with a smile that wavered when she saw Jess’ own expression. “It is not nice?” she checked.

“It’s fine,” he shrugged, zipping up his jacket against the cold. “Er, you want to head over to the diner with me instead? I can get you a free coffee now I own half the place,” he told her, offering his arm which she gladly took.

“You are a good boy, Jess,” she told him, something he didn’t exactly hear a lot in his life and it made him feel as awkward as it did happy to have it said now.

Maybe Christopher wasn’t Jess’ biggest fan, but that ran both ways. At least Jess had Rory, Luke, Lorelai, and Mrs R in his corner. He was going to need them to be with Friday Night Dinner looming. Jess hoped Chris would be gone before then, and yet somehow he had a feeling that just wasn’t going to be the case. If Emily and Richard got to hear about the great Christopher Hayden visiting, they would want him at dinner, Jess was sure on that.

“So, when do we go to see this new apartment that you and Rory are renting?” asked Mrs R as they stopped at the side of the road and checked for traffic before crossing.

“I don’t know,” admitted Jess, glad at least for the subject change that stopped him thinking about the blue bloods too much. “I’ve got plans to do a lot of the clean up and everything next weekend. Luke’s going to help with any heavy lifting, Lorelai too. Rory wants to do as much as she can, but obviously in her condition, it’s not so easy.”

“Well, I am another pair of hands if you need me,” Mrs Rossini promised him. “I have been cleaning my whole life, one way or another. A little more will not kill me off.”

Jess thanked her but couldn’t keep from laughing at the matter of fact way she spoke. He never had a grandmother in his life, but somehow he felt as if he did now, and to his mind, Mrs R was the coolest grandma anyone could ask for.

* * *

Jess wasn’t sure how he was feeling about Friday Night Dinner. On the upside, after this, Christopher would finally leave. His couple of days had fast turned into five when the Gilmores got wind of his being in town and invited him to dinner, and though he had been civil to Jess and Luke both, he clearly didn’t like either of them, and they had reasons enough to feel the same way about him. Five days was at least four too many to have Hayden around, and Jess said as much to Luke when they were alone in the diner. His uncle heartily agreed.

On the downside, Friday Night Dinner still meant an evening in the company of Richard and Emily. Though Rory’s grandpa liked Jess well enough to talk about books and such, there was always the overpowering stench of disapproval in the room. Jess would always be the deadbeat that knocked up Richard’s angelic grand-daughter, and that would forever mean uncomfortableness round the dinner table. As for Emily, she and Jess started badly from the get go, that first dinner almost two years ago now when he turned up late and cranky, complete with black eye, and left after a fight with Rory before the main course was even served. Once again, being the guy that got Rory unexpectedly pregnant at nineteen didn’t exactly make him flavour of the month. Neither did standing up for his girlfriend/fiancé when she fought back against the grandparents herself. All in all, Jess knew he was walking into the lion’s den going to this dinner, especially with the added acid of Christopher. It was going to be a long night.

“That’ll be Dad,” Rory smiled when a knock came on the door.

“Great,” said Luke, rolling his eyes.

Lorelai swatted him in the chest.

“Play nice,” she warned him, though a smile was trying to tug at her lips.

The truth was, she kind of liked that Luke and Chris were jealous of each other. A woman had to be flattered to have that kind of proof when it came to the guys in her life and their feelings for her. Of course, Lorelai was all for keeping the peace too. The last thing this dinner at her parents’ house needed was an added fist fight.

“All ready to go?” asked Christopher as he came into the living room with Rory.

Lorelai looked around the room and literally counted the people out loud.

“One, two, three, four, five... and a half,” she added with a grin as she got to Rory and her bump. “Yup, that’s a complete set.”

“I still think it’s a shame Mrs Rossini wasn’t feeling up to coming along,” said Luke as he got up out of the armchair.

Lorelai gasped at his words.

“You would subject that nice lady to dinner with my parents?! For shame, Lucas Danes!”

Jess laughed at that, but soon stopped when Christopher looked oddly at him.

“Mrs Rossini looked fine when I saw her,” he explained. “In fact she was headed out right when I was, on the arm of... er, Taylor Doose,” he snapped his fingers as he remembered the name.

It was a tough call to choose who had the widest eyes at the sound of that news. Mrs R wasn’t sick or even feeling tired. She had cried off on Friday Night dinner to go out with a guy, and not just any guy, but Taylor!

“Okay, I’m gonna need a minute to process,” said Lorelai dramatically. “I know Mrs R made a couple of disturbing comments about Taylor’s looks, I know they’ve had a couple of conversations at the market, but now they’re... they...”

“They’ve gone on a date,” said Jess flatly, his face screwing up with confusion and disgust both. “What the hell does she see in him?”

“People used to say that about me and you,” said Rory matter of factly earning herself a scowl. “Well, they did!” she said, hands raised in mock-surrender.

“Takes all kinds to make the world go around, isn’t that what they say?” said Luke with a shrug.

He didn’t get it either, but hey, if Mrs Rossini was happy, surely that was all that mattered. Plus, if Taylor was distracted by a woman in his life, that might keep him off the back of Luke and his fellow business owners and the like. That could only be a good thing.

“I guess if Mrs R likes Taylor,” said Lorelai thoughtfully, though she couldn’t help the shudder that ran through her even as she spoke the words, “it would give her one more reason to stay here instead of going back to New York.”

“It would be so great if she stayed in Stars Hollow,” said Rory definitely.

“She’d be safer,” agreed Jess. “And it’s cool having her around.”

“It really is.”

There was no guarantee that Mrs Rossini would stay in the Hollow, or that things with her and Taylor would develop into anything more than friends. What was for certain was that if the Gilmore girls and their assorted menfolk didn’t leave for dinner within the next five minutes they were going to be late.

“Nobody needs to be enduring any more Emily-type wrath than absolutely necessary tonight,” said Lorelai definitely as she ushered everybody out of the door. “It’ll be fine,” she assured Rory, putting her arm around her shoulders.

They wandered out onto the porch behind the guys and Rory let her head drop onto her Mom’s shoulder a moment.

“I know,” she said with a brave smile.

* * *

“I’m still amazed by how big you’ve gotten, Rory,” said Emily as they all sat around the dinner table, enjoying dessert. “And you glow. You look so beautiful.”

“I don’t feel beautiful most of the time,” her granddaughter blushed. “But thank you.”

“The baby is due in March?” Richard checked.

“March 14th, that’s what the doctor said,” said Rory, nodding her head. “And it won’t be a day too soon for me.”

“Me either,” agreed Jess, smiling at her from across the table.

It irked him some that Christopher and shoved himself in between Rory and Lorelai, forcing himself and Luke to the other side. Of course the upside was he was across from his beautiful fiancé and shifting his chair a little put Luke opposite Lorelai, so it wasn’t so bad. The real miracle was how nice the Gilmore elders were being, even going so far as to congratulate Rory and Jess and appear genuinely pleased when they announced they were engaged now.

It was true enough that Emily was still directing most of her focus to the more familial side of the table, but she was keeping her scowls and sour tones to a minimum and had even spoken quite nicely to Jess and Luke when she had to. It could’ve been a lot worse tonight.

“It still kind of freaks me out to know I’m going to be a grandfather,” said Chris then. “I only just became a father again recently.”

“Huh. I hadn’t thought about that before,” said Lorelai with a look of concentration. “So, Baby RJ is going to have an aunt that’s only two years older than him.”

“Baby RJ?” echoed Richard with a frown.

“Sure. Baby Rory-Jess,” his daughter explained as if it were so obvious. “Since these two can’t pick a frickin’ name already, I have to have something to call the little guy, and so, he is Baby RJ until they come up with something definite.”

“Says the woman who was so prepared for the arrival of her daughter that she resorted to naming me Lorelai,” said Rory with a chuckle. “Not that I don’t love my name, but you were so short of imagination you just gave me yours.”

“Hey, don’t look at me for support,” said Luke as Lorelai did just that. “I wasn’t there, I have no idea!”

“No, but maybe you could explain to me why my mother decided to start with the child cruelty from Day One,” said Jess then, looking to his uncle for an explanation. “I mean, Jess? Really? None of the actual given names appealed to her?”

“Liz is... well, you know, she’s your mother after all,” Luke shrugged helplessly. “Be glad you weren’t born a girl. Pretty sure she was thinking of Doula if you were female.”

The look on Jess’ face proved he was no more impressed by that than by his actual name.

“Speaking for myself, I’ve always favoured the use of family names for children,” said Richard innocently, as if he wasn’t implying one more time that his great-grandson should be named after himself. “Lorelai was named after my mother, you know, and I myself was named for my grandfather.”

“It’s something to think about,” said Rory, shooting a look at Jess that begged him to let it go, please - thankfully he didn’t say a word.

“Speaking of family, Richard and I actually have a little announcement to make of our own,” said Emily, daintily wiping her mouth on her napkin and folding her hands. “As you all know, after some time apart, we have been reunited. As you may also know, it’s our wedding anniversary quite soon, our fortieth in fact.”

“And with that in mind,” said Richard, taking over from his wife. “I asked Emily if she would like to marry me again,” he explained. “We’re going to have a vow renewal.”

“Oh wow, that’s cool,” said Lorelai with genuine enthusiasm. “Am I invited?” she asked, bouncing in her seat.

Emily rolled her eyes.

“Well, of course you’re invited, Lorelai!” she told her what she must already know. “In fact, I was wondering, if... well, if you would be my maid of honour?”

Lorelai was genuinely stunned and it showed on her face. It took Christopher elbowing her in the ribs to make her actually remember she needed to answer.

“Er, yeah, Mom,” she said eventually. “I’d love to do that.”

“Of course, I was hoping Rory would be a bridesmaid also, but I understand if it would be too much for you.”

“I think I might be too much for a dressmaker,” her grand-daughter smiled. “But if you can find a tent big enough, I’d love to do it.”

“Of course, that leaves the issue of my best man,” said Richard, clearing his throat. “Were circumstances different, there is every likelihood I would’ve been quite unconventional and given Rory that role, but as things are.. well, clearly that’s not really possible,” he explained it vague hand gestures and an awkward expression. “However, it occurs to me that there is another who might stand in her stead. Jess, you have been such a great pillar of strength for our Rory and have proved yourself quite the worthy young man. I understand that it might make you uncomfortable and you are quite at liberty to refuse, but if you would accept the job, I wonder if you might stand up with me?”

All eyes were on Jess and he had never been so uncomfortable in his whole life. He knew Richard liked him well enough, but to ask him to be best man at his do-over wedding, that was just too much to comprehend.

“Jess!” said Luke in a sharp whisper, prompting his nephew to give some answer after two long minutes of silence.

“Mork calling Orson! Come in Orson!” said Lorelai in a strange voice that Emily didn’t understand and didn’t care to.

Rory might’ve laughed if she wasn’t feeling so stupidly emotional. Her grandpa had just done something so amazing, accepting Jess as part of the family in a way she never expected. It was for her, she was all aware of that. Now she just had to hope Jess accepted politely and didn’t make a big deal.

“Look, Richard...” Christopher began, but Jess cut in fast as soon as he realised what was about to happen.

“Sure, I’ll do it.” he said definitely. “I mean, yeah, I’d... I’d be honoured.”

That part was kind of a lie, but it seemed like the kind of words someone like Richard Gilmore would want to hear. Besides, it was worth it all when he looked at Christopher and saw him scowl, and then at Rory who was smiling brightly with happy tears sparkling in her eyes. Being part of the Gilmore clan felt like a nightmare sometimes, but it also had its perks, Jess knew. Maybe tonight hadn’t turned out so bad after all.


	38. Chapter 37

It had taken three weeks from the day Rory and Jess signed the lease for their apartment until today, the day when they were finally moving in. It was really a testament to their hard work, organisational skills, and the input of so many great family members and friends that they had got everything figured out so fast. It was kind of necessary, since Rory was hell-bent on being settled in before the baby came. Jess was a little surprised by that. He really believed that she would want to be with her mom just as long as possible, but it had been Lorelai that shook her head and said she wasn’t surprised at all. She said women started nest building when they had a baby on the way, making plans for the future, looking to put together a place to call home. As much as the Crap Shack was where Rory wanted to be growing up, things were different now. She was a grown woman with a child of her own to think about. Jess wasn’t all that sorry to know they were getting a place to call their own. Not that he didn’t totally appreciate everything Lorelai and Luke were doing for them, but a bed that was actually designed for two people and a little privacy sure would be nice!

Christopher had left on the Saturday morning after dinner at the Gilmore house, and then it was all hands to the pumps as all efforts were refocused on the apartment in New Haven. Lane got Zach to come into the diner and help wait tables on weekends to free up Luke so he could go help Jess with building shelves and shifting furniture. Any spare time Jess could find between shifts during the week he spent driving around with Rory, and sometimes Lorelai, picking out furnishings that were decent looking and actually affordable. It was amazing how much ended up being donated actually. Suddenly everyone in town had a spare table or a couple of chairs they couldn’t use. Miss Patty, Babette and Maury, neighbours Jess barely knew existed just couldn’t wait to hand over any ugly ass lamp or dusty vase they found in their back bedroom or closet. Rory took everything with good grace and genuine thanks. Jess just bit his lip and waited for the good folks to leave before saying he wasn’t having this junk anywhere in his home.

“ _Our_ home,” she corrected him every time, diplomatically saying that the ugliest things could maybe get a little damaged in transit.

Some of it was actually pretty decent stuff, and Jess was grateful for everybody trying to be kind. Feeling like a charity wasn’t so cool, but right now he knew he and Rory needed the help, so he let it lie. Sure, they owned half a diner now, but that didn’t mean they could afford to be frivolous. Over time, they were collecting together stuff for the baby, small things here and there, larger stuff when they found it on sale usually, but there always seemed to be more that was needed. Going forward there would be a lot of expenses to consider, clothes as the baby grew, more advanced toys and games as he developed, teething rings, proper shoes, and later educational needs, college; the list seemed endless whenever such things were spoken about, but Jess tried not to stress. If he looked worried then Rory started worrying, and that was just the worst thing for a woman in her condition.

It upset Rory enough already that she wasn’t going to look as she would like in her grandparents ‘wedding’ pictures, and more so that she was of minimal use with the new apartment. All the clean up, the decorating, the moving of furniture, none of it was suitable for a woman that was over seven months pregnant and, in her own words, the size of Dumbo’s mother. She went on a visit to Paris’ dorm the first day she felt particularly useless and inadvertently got her friend to volunteer both herself and Doyle for painting duty. That might have been more successful if Paris wasn’t just famous for taking over any situation and turning it into a military operation. Jess bit his lip so hard it almost bled that day, but they made it through without blood on the walls instead of paint, so Rory called it a win.

Mrs Rossini helped with much of the cleaning that needed doing and then got stuck into helping Lorelai with running up new curtains, re-covering lamp shades, and the like. Now here were Rory and Jess packing up the room they had been sharing for months now, that had been Rory’s own since she was just eleven. It was time to leave the nest and create a new home in their own apartment.

Rory felt she was as excited as she was nervous about the move. The baby seemed to be similarly torn in emotions from the way he writhed and kicked inside of her. Rory smiled and ran a hand over her belly. She was going to regret being sat down her on the floor, because getting up after was going to be hell, but it was the best place to be to sort out her books. She pulled several at a time from the drawer, checking to see that she absolutely needed every single one before making new piles that Jess could pack into boxes. A couple of text books from Yale went on a separate pile from her own novels and poetry volumes. Rory wasn’t going to throw them away or anything, but for now she was okay with keeping them elsewhere.

The next book to pass her hands was the baby names book and she sighed.

“How can we have come this far and still not know what to call our son?” she asked Jess, looking over at him. “Our baby could be here in six weeks, maybe less, and right now he’s going to be called ‘Baby RJ’,” she reminded him of Lorelai’s nickname for their unborn child with an unhappy look.

“I don’t know, Ror,” her fiancé shook his head as he sealed up the box full of clothes with packing tape. “I guess it’s just a big decision. Whatever we pick, this kid’s going to be stuck with it for the rest of his life. We don’t want to rush in and screw up, right?”

“Rush in?” she laughed incredulously, watching Jess pull the cap off a permanent marker with his teeth and write on the box in his ever-familiar hand-writing. “Yeah, I don’t think it had be construed as rushing when I’m this much pregnant.”

“Maybe not,” said Jess with a smirk that didn’t quite come out right around the pen cap.

Rory looked back to the task at hand, suddenly smiling as she picked up a very familiar, very loved book.

“How about Allen?”

“Really?” asked Jess with a frown.

Rory was grinning when he glanced at her, and she happily waved the volume in her hand towards him.

“First book I borrowed from you,” he smiled right back when he saw it was Allen Ginsberg’s Howl she was holding.

“First book you _stole_ from me, Dodger,” she countered, even as she nostalgically flipped the pages to see Jess’ thoughtful notes in the margins.

She barely noticed him crouching down beside her until he reached to take the book from her hands.

“And before you ask, no,” he said with mock-stern look. “We are not calling our son Dodger,” he said definitely, putting Howl with another pile of books and moving them into the nearest empty box. “I guess Oliver could be an option but...”

“Jack.”

Jess startled at the interruption and suddenly definite-sounding name choice. 

“Jack?” he echoed, turning to look at Rory’ smiling face once again.

“The Artful Dodger’s real name was Jack Dawkins,” she reminded him. “Plus it’s a J, same as Jess and... and Jimmy, it’d be like making a tradition.”

She wasn’t sure about that last part, not even certain she should’ve mentioned it as a positive thing. Jess didn’t want her to worry about something so simple. He wasn’t going to go off the deep-end just because his father was mentioned, and Rory ought to know that. He was the one who had brought him up in conversation more than once, explaining to her about how they sort of connected during his Summer in California. They were never going to be the traditional father and son with a proper well-rounded and loving relationship, but they had made contact, they got along, and it was okay.

“I don’t think the Mariano family have traditions, Ror,” he told her with a shake of his head.

“Well then maybe we could start one,” she suggested. “Unless you really don’t like the name, I just thought...”

“Jack’s good,” he assured her before Rory had a chance to start rambling.

Honestly, he did agree that it was a good name and her original reason was a nice thought too. It was much better than just drawing a name at random from a book, or being boring and uptight like the Gilmores, naming kids after ancestors like it made some kind of point to everybody else. This would have meaning for him and Rory more than anybody else, but it wasn’t obvious to those that didn’t know.

“Jack Mariano,” said Rory then, one hand on her stomach where the baby continued kicking. “I like it.”

“Yeah, me too,” Jess agreed, putting his hand atop her own, then leaning in to kiss her cheek. “I think we finally settled on a name.”

* * *

“Okay, is that the last of it?” asked Luke as he secured what he believed to be the final load of Rory and Jess’ belongings into his truck.

They had made two runs already with clothes, books, baby stuff, and more that they had in Stars Hollow. The bigger furniture had been delivered straight to the new place, but day-to-day belongings and such had to wait until the last minute and be personally moved by the family.

“If there’s anything else, I don’t know what it would be,” said Jess, running a hand back through his hair. “I already feel like we packed enough stuff to fill three apartments.”

He was shifting around like he just couldn’t stand still, looking back towards the house then into the truck, mentally checking off items that needed moving. Luke walked around to his nephew and clapped a hand onto his shoulder.

“Hey, take a breath,” he told him. “If you forget anything, it can picked up later, no big deal.”

“That’s not what bothers me,” Jess shook his head. “I just... This is a big deal,” he sighed. “Not for me, or it is but... I mean, I’ve had my own place, I’m used to being on my own, y’know? This is huge for Rory. Sure, she lived in a dorm for a while, but she always came back home, to this house, to her mom. This is a lot for her, the moving and with the baby so close and...”

“I repeat, take a breath,” said Luke, both hands on Jess’ shoulders now as he held him at arm’s length and made him meet his eyes. “I know this is different and scary, and you’re opening your mouth to tell me its only scary for Rory and not for you, which is fine, but we both know that’s bull,” he said definitely. “Jess, this is a big step and a very big deal. You’ve had to do a lot of growing up these past few months, the both of you, and it is far from over yet,” he told him honestly. “But the truth is, I believe you can do this. I believe that you and Rory are going to make it, that you’re going to be great parents, and... and I couldn’t be prouder of you, okay?”

That was a lot for Jess to take in, perhaps even tougher to take than the unvarnished truth of his situation being scary and overwhelming every minute. Luke was proud of him, he had such faith in him these days, and though he never said such slushy things, he was pretty sure his uncle loved him. Jess loved Luke too, but he was in no way going to say it either.

“Thanks,” he said instead. “For everything, Luke. I’m serious, thank you.”

“You’re welcome, kid,” he smiled, deliberately using the word he knew so annoyed and amused Jess in equal measure each and every time he used it.

“We all set?” asked Lorelai as she appeared on the porch with Rory in tow.

“Looks like,” Luke nodded his agreement, watching mother help daughter down the steps.

“So this is it,” said Rory as they reached the guys. “We’re really going, not coming back.”

“Oh, c’mon!” said Lorelai, rolling her eyes. “You’ll be back all the time! It’s not like you’re leaving the country. Actually, you’re forbidden from leaving the country, or the state, ever. Okay?”

Whether she was serious or not, Jess couldn’t be sure. It didn’t really matter anyway. He knew Rory would always want to be near her mother and Luke, and he didn’t mind so much himself. People around Stars Hollow had been pretty good to him as well as Rory these past few months. It felt awfully like home and strange to be leaving, even if they were headed just a few miles down the road.

“I love you, Mom,” said Rory, tearfully hugging her mother as best she could with the protrusion of her belly getting in the way.

“Love you too, sweets,” promised Lorelai, kissing her hair. “But y’know, I’m so happy for you. I know this wasn’t how we had things planned, but sometimes you got to go with the flow, babe. I had to when you came along, and I swear, I couldn’t be happier,” she told her, even as tears filled her eyes and cascaded over her lashes.

Luke pulled her close with one arm and kissed her temple without a word. This was supposed to be a happy occasion, a new beginning, but he understood why it felt like an ending to Lorelai. It did to him too, in a way. Rory’s home would no longer be Stars Hollow but New Haven, the same with Jess, though Luke was pretty sure his nephew would always deny that the Hollow ever felt like home to him, even if he did feel it.

“C’mon,” said Rory a moment later, wiping her cheeks clean of tears with both hands. “It’ll be dark before you know it, and we have to get the truck unloaded and Luke has to get back home again. We really need to go,” she told Jess, taking his hand in her own.

“You sure you’re okay?” he double-checked and she smiled bravely at his concern.

“Yeah,” she assured him. “Let’s go home.”

He liked the sound of that, going home with Rory to a place that was their own. Sure, it would be weird for a while, but good at the same time. Together they walked over to her car and Jess helped Rory into the passenger seat, planting a kiss on her lips before he closed the door. He hurried around to the driver’s side and prepared to lead Luke’s truck to New Haven for the final trip. The last load of belongings would be put into the apartment and that would be that, they would be totally moved in, living on their own in a family home they had made for themselves. Jess started the engine and glanced across at Rory.

“Here we go,” he said, putting the car into gear.

“Yep, here we go,” she echoed, glancing back at the home she had grown up in.

Rory was sad to leave, but honestly, it also felt exciting to know she was headed into a new chapter of her life with Jess and their son. They were going to be okay.


	39. Chapter 38

Rory would never admit it out-loud, but she had been a little worried about moving out of the home she shared with her mom since she was a child and into a new place with Jess. It wasn’t that she didn’t totally love and trust her fiancé or want to have more time alone with him. It wasn’t that raising their son in their very own home didn’t appeal either. It was just a very big change, and Rory knew from experience that she didn’t always react well to that.

The first night at Yale, and Rory had to have Lorelai come over and sleep on the spare mattress on the dorm room floor. She couldn’t do that now, it would be a little crazy, not that it was one hundred percent sane eighteen months ago. Still, it felt odd leaving the Crap Shack and knowing that when she told somebody she was heading home, she was never going back there but to a new place.

Rory loved the apartment, that much was true. She tried to make joint decisions with Jess on the paint colours and furniture but he wasn’t wholly interested. Much of it was her choices that he just agreed with because he didn’t care if the walls were cream or blue or yellow, whether they had round or square cushions on the couch, any of that kind of thing. It was like a home before they even moved in, with all their books installed on shelves, and many personal belongings throughout, but it was still odd.

Rory couldn’t sleep the first night. Even though Jess was there with her as he had been every night for months now, even though Rory felt as if she were as tired as she had been her whole life. It was definitely an adjustment, but after one whole week of calling this apartment in New Haven home it was genuinely starting to feel like it really was where she and Jess belonged.

Since Jess’ shifts varied and Rory had no job to go to right now, they had kind of a skewed routine going on. This particular day, Jess was working from mid-morning to mid-afternoon at the diner and then a late shift in Wal-Mart. Rory didn’t have to get up when her fiancé did and he usually advised her not to bother when he was up particularly early, but today, after lying in a while with him reading aloud to her, they both got up together. Jess was going to take Rory with him to the diner where she had arranged to meet Mrs Rossini for a chat and maybe some lunch.

It was over a month now since Mrs R had come to town for Christmas, and still she had not headed back to New York. Neither Rory nor Jess were in any way sorry about that, but they were also highly aware that the longer their friend stayed, the closer they must be getting to a time when she would definitely want to leave. Every time they saw her, Mrs R would lament the fact Lorelai was letting her stay at the inn for free, and talk about the tasks she insisted on helping out with to earn her keep. Short of duct taping her to a chair, which of course she would never resort to, Lorelai just couldn’t keep the old lady from cleaning, changing beds, or answering the phone whenever she got the chance to step in. Eventually though, she was going to go back to NYC, and Rory wanted to get in as many lunches, brunches, and general time with Mrs R as she could.

“You take your shower, I’ll make breakfast,” said Jess, hopping out of bed and into his jeans.

“You’re so good to me,” Rory replied, yawning even as she hefted herself out of the other side, one hand in the small of her back as she tried to straighten up under the weight of her pregnant belly.

“Well, you deserve it,” her fiancé assured her as he rounded the bed, planting a kiss on her lips and one on her stomach before disappearing out the door.

Rory giggled at how silly he could be sometimes then gathered up her stuff and hit the shower as instructed. It was tough just getting around now she was so big. Honestly, she was pretty sure most women weren’t this size even at full term, never mind thirty five weeks. The doctor said it varied a lot, and with Rory having been so slim before the pregnancy, it was completely normal for her to feel she was actually bigger than she really was. Seriously, it felt like a miracle to Rory that she could even fit in the shower cubicle at all!

Just as soon as she was done in the bathroom, Rory came out into the kitchen, wearing an over-sized but pretty flowered dress, and was happy to be greeted by the smell of bacon and sausage cooking. Thankfully there were no eggs. She still couldn’t stomach them, in fact even thinking about them made her feel nauseous, so Rory had her cooked breakfast with every ingredient except eggs.

“If this is independent living, then I am all for it,” said Rory happily as she kissed Jess in thanks for her breakfast and started in on eating it.

It didn’t matter that she was probably going to have lunch in a couple of hours at the diner. Lately Rory was even more constantly hungry than ever before!

“Hey, I’m only playing slave for as long as moving three feet takes you a half hour,” he warned her, only half-serious, she knew. “This kid gets born, and it’s shared chores all the way.”

“Agreed,” she sighed. “There’s going to be a whole lot more chores when he’s here though,” she considered around a mouthful of bacon. “Four hourly feeds to start off with, changing diapers all the time...”

“And we’ll handle it,” Jess promised her, returning to her side. “We will.”

“I know” she smiled bravely as he crouched beside her chair. “I just think about how busy you already are and how busy I’m going to be. There’s not exactly going to be a lot of us time once the baby comes,” she lamented.

“We’ll make time,” he assured her. “Don’t worry, okay?”

“Okay,” she nodded, though he had a feeling her head was still whirring with concerns.

Jess planted one more kiss on Rory’s lips, then left her to her breakfast. He headed for the shower, but really couldn’t relax even under the warm spray of water. He told Rory not to worry because he didn’t want her to have to, because it wasn’t good for her or their unborn son. The truth was, Jess still had concerns himself. It wasn’t going to be easy, none of this. As much as he loved Rory and the baby they were going to have, as much as they had help, support, a home, half a diner, and more money than they expected, it still wasn’t going to be plain sailing. Sleepless nights, his work, her going back to Yale in the Fall, it all added up to two very tired, very stressed-out people, and that kind of situation led to fights and trouble that neither Jess nor Rory wanted. Yes, it bothered him, but he tried to put it out of his mind, and tell himself, as well as Rory, that it would all be fine. Still, as the time drew nearer for baby Jack to be born, the more Jess felt he understood Jimmy’s need to bolt and never look back.

* * *

“It still makes me sad to think she’ll probably be going home soon. I’ve got so used to her being here, and I know it’s selfish to want her to stay when she probably really wants to be back in her own place by now, but I can’t help it. I mean, you’d miss her too, right? Jess?”

Rory almost resorted to physically poking him in the arm when he failed to answer her twice, only he was concentrating on driving and they were headed for an intersection, so she didn’t like to. When he was forced to stop at the lights, she took her chances.

“Jess? Are you okay?” she checked, tapping his elbow to get his attention.

He jumped a little, proving he really was so lost in thought that he hadn’t heard a word she said. That was weird and Rory knew it. Sure, guys had been known to zone out when women talked, that was a given if another person was rambling about something that didn’t interest you, but this was different. This wasn’t a girly rant about shopping or trashy TV, this was about Mrs Rossini who they both loved like family.

“Huh?” asked Jess, glancing at her and then quickly back at the road when he realised the light was green again.

“I know you have to concentrate some to drive, but that was some serious thought you were giving to the asphalt up ahead,” said Rory with a forced smile, hoping to keep the mood light and not be accusatory.

She remembered occasions before when Jess got really thoughtful and quiet. It usually led to a fight or him disappearing on her. Rory wanted to believe that would never happen again, his running out the door at least. If they fought, well, she wouldn’t love it, but all couples had arguments sometimes. It was the leaving that freaked her out. Lately, Jess had been the model boyfriend, or fiancé as his title should be, as well as the greatest and most supportive father-to-be that Rory could hope for. They were engaged, had a home of their own, and were seemingly happy and content. Now Jess was giving her the silent treatment and her insides twisted up painfully at the idea something was about to go horribly wrong.

“I was just thinking... Work stuff” he shook his head, waving the subject away with one hand, the other staying firm on the steering wheel. “I’m sorry, what were you saying?”

Rory couldn’t think what work stuff would make Jess lose focus like that. He hadn’t taken on anything major at the diner yet with regards to the books or the ordering, though Luke told him he could if he wanted. As for Walmart, now there was a job that required little to no brainpower, something Jess had told her many times, both when he worked there the last time and on this go around too. Still, she let it go. Pushing Jess never helped. She had to trust that when he was ready to talk, he would, that he wouldn’t just bottle it all up until he exploded and disappeared into the night. He was more grown up now, they both were. Now wasn’t the time to fall apart.

“Er, I was just thinking about Mrs R,” she said eventually, recapping what she had been telling Jess before when he wasn’t really listening. “She’ll probably be headed home soon and I’ll miss her.”

“Y’know I’m not so sure she will go back, at least not now,” Jess shook his head. “She sure seems to like Stars Hollow a lot, and Taylor of all unholy things,” he visibly shuddered. “I mean, I don’t get it, but if he’s another reason for Mrs Rossini to stay, I am all for that. I hate her being alone in that apartment, in that neighbourhood... it’s not cool.”

“I agree,” Rory nodded. “I would so love for her to stay.”

“That’d be good,” replied Jess, though he sounded absent and vague again already.

Rory stared across at him in profile, seemingly all concentrated on his driving. That wasn’t it and she knew it. Nobody needed to look that serious about controlling a car down a quiet road from one small town to another, a route he already knew pretty well. Something was on Jess’ mind, Rory just wished she knew what it was exactly.

“Jess, you would... Well, you’d tell me if something was wrong, right?” she checked, internally wincing at her own question, knowing she might start something they both didn’t need to get into right now.

It was a pleasant surprise when he glanced at her with what seemed to be a genuine smile on his lips.

“Rory, I’ve got a beautiful fiancé, a son on the way, a decent apartment, and a share in a diner that’s gonna stop us going bankrupt,” he explained succinctly. “What would be wrong?”

Rory knew it wasn’t that simple. There were still things to be worried about, everything from the birth of their son to the logistics of coping with a baby, jobs, college, and family commitments, and a whole bunch of other stuff in between. Still, his pretty words about his seemingly perfect life made Rory smile and let go of all the worries for now. Maybe she was just being paranoid anyway.

* * *

“Your grandparents are very kind people,” said Mrs Rossini, completely missing the way Jess snorted with laughter as he walked by the table.

Rory noticed and shot him a scathing look that turned into a smile much faster than it should’ve. She knew Grandma in particular could be acid tongued and even down-right mean, but Jess shouldn’t say so, even if it were true.

“Mrs R, you’re practically part of the family,” Rory told her happily. “Of course you’re invited to the vow renewal” she smiled brightly. “I want my Grandma and Grandpa to meet my honorary Grandma.”

“Oh, passerotta, you are too sweet!” said Mrs Rossini, her eyes filling with happy tears. “Far too kind to a silly old woman.”

“Hey, you are not silly or old,” said Rory definitely. “You’re part of this family now, so you should definitely be coming to this wedding thing,” she explained. “What? You don’t want to see what a whale in a dress looks like?” she joked about her own size.

Mrs Rossini rolled her eyes.

“Rory, you are beautiful, bellisima!” she said definitely. “If all this were from too much eating of good food, perhaps we talk about you being a whale, but you are having a baby. This is a beautiful thing.”

Rory felt silly then, and kind of bad actually. Mrs R never had children of her own, and yet she was the best mother figure Rory could’ve hoped for in the absence of Lorelai in New York, and the greatest extra grandmother in the world. She wanted to be there for Rory, for Jess, and for Jack when he came along. If it was up to Rory, Mrs R would never leave Stars Hollow, and she told her as much whilst she had the chance.

“Well, that is a big decision to make, my dear,” she said, patting Rory’s hand across the table. “I have reasons to stay, I know, but this is your home and mine is New York.”

“Jess’ home was New York too, but things change,” her young friend explained. “He was born and raised a city boy, but look how well he’s learnt to fit in here,” she smiled as she looked across at her fiancé, switching plates with Lane, squeezing past Luke, and interacting politely with customers.

“You love each other very much,” said Mrs Rossini as she looked between them. “This I always knew, but every day I see more and more... You remind me of myself and my Gennaro,” she smiled, nostalgic and oddly proud all at the same time. “We did not have enough time together, and this teaches me to seize every moment I have now,” she explained to Rory. “You and Jess, you are young with your whole lives ahead. You make every day happy as you can, bella Rory,” she told her definitely, squeezing her hand. “Do not waste a second.”

“We won’t” she nodded with a watery smile as her eyes filled up fast with tears. “I promise.”


	40. Chapter 39

“This is ridiculous!” said Rory helplessly as she turned left and right in front of the full-length mirror.

Today was the day of her grandparents vow renewal, a second wedding day in essence, And Rory was to be a bridesmaid. She had on a dress the same colour and material as her mother’s own, and yet Rory knew damn well she did not look anywhere near as good in her maternity version. No matter how she tried, she just looked, for lack of a more appropriate descriptor, big.

“Look at me!” she demanded of Jess as he wandered back into the bedroom from the bathroom. “I should have Goodyear written on me!” she declared, looking more angry than sad right now.

Jess shook his head.

“Rory, stop,” he told her sternly as he walked over and put his arms around her from behind, hands resting on top of her enormous bump as she leaned back into his embrace. “You look beautiful,” he promised, making her look sideways into the mirror the same way he was.

“Seriously?” she asked incredulously.

“Seriously,” he confirmed, kissing her cheek. “You have never, ever been anything but beautiful to me, and you never will,” he swore faithfully as he turned her around to face him, then addressed her stomach as if he were actually talking to the baby inside. “And you, you be a good boy and don’t kick Mommy too much when she’s walking down the aisle and stuff, okay?” he ordered.

Rory giggled at how silly that was, but she appreciated it none the less. Jess was just glad enough to see her smile and spared her one more kiss on the lips before he wandered over to the nightstand and grabbed his tie. He wasn’t thrilled about having to wear it, or any other part of this monkey suit, but he would do it just this once, for Rory way more than her grandparents.

“How’s Daddy feeling?” she asked, one arm around her bump as she carefully lowered herself down onto the end of the bed. “Nervous?”

“About what?” he asked, fastening the tie around his neck and folding down the collar on his crisp white shirt.

“Hello? You’re best man at my grandparents’ wedding-redux,” Rory reminded him, as if Jess could have forgotten at all. “Kind of a big deal.”

“Yeah, well, your grandpa didn’t ask me for me, he asked me for you,” he told her. “I just have to stand there, it’s not a big deal. I’ve done tougher things in my life.”

Rory knew that was true. All the things Jess had gone through in his life, all the things they had gone through together recently, and those still to come. Rory supposed nobody’s life was perfectly happy and easy all of the time, but Jess had sure had his fair share of troubles. A father who left, a mother that didn’t care enough, shipped off to a new place at seventeen, angry and confused with no-one to care. Now there was the unexpected baby and everything. There had been a barrel full of drama in the life of Jess Mariano and he was only nineteen yet. Rory couldn’t exactly say this whole surprise pregnancy thing was a joyous ride for her, but she was happy, and her life had never exactly been hard in the way a lot of other people’s had.

Looking across at Jess now, getting ready for her grandparents vow renewal, and even managing to find a smile about the whole thing, Rory wondered how she ever thought there was a problem, that maybe Jess was having second thoughts about their future. He seemed to be acting strangely for a little while there, too quiet and thoughtful, but just a few days later, he seemed normal again and Rory had to think maybe it was just her pregnant lady hormones making her paranoid. She mentioned it to her mom and Lorelai agreed that was probably all it was, or maybe Jess was just tired from working so hard or whatever. Either way, he definitely seemed fine now, so Rory just went with it for as long as it lasted.

It was easy to smile now as she watched Jess pull on his jacket and straighten himself out. He went back to the mirror and checked his often unruly hair. Rory levered herself up from the bed and stood close, gazing into the mirror at him.

“Look at you,” she grinned, pulling on his arm until he turned into her. “If I could get close enough right now...” she said with a look in her eyes that Jess knew very well and never really objected to either.

“Oh, yeah?” he smirked, wishing not for the first time that her having a baby didn’t have to involve her being two feet or more away from him at all times at this point. “Well, maybe I’ll keep the suit for after the baby and everything, then you can finish that thought,” he offered, leaning in some to whisper in her ear that way that always made her shiver in the best way.

“Sounds like a plan,” she replied softly, her hand turning his head so she could kiss his lips.

They were lost in the moment for a while, and it felt good, just like always. For once, it wasn’t Rory who realised this wasn’t how they should really spend their time today. The alarm on Jess’ watch went off and he pulled away from her, however reluctantly.

“We should go,” he said with a sigh, tucking loose strands of hair behind her ear.

She nodded her agreement, even though she kind of didn’t want to have to. It wasn’t that Rory didn’t want to see her grandparents get married again, but honestly, staying here alone with Jess appealed too, especially in that suit... or out of it.

* * *

“My pants are all wrinkled from the ride. It looks like I slept in them,” Luke complained.

Lorelai rolled her eyes.

“Hey, stop being such a Nancy-boy about the pants. Think Hemingway ever gave a crap what his pants looked like?” she asked him.

Luke took his turn at the eye-roll.

“Hemingway blew his brains out, also. How much of a role model do you want me to make this guy?”

“Am I hearing libellous things about dear old Ernest?” asked Jess with a smirk as he and Rory arrived into the scene in the lobby of the Windsor Club.

Neither Luke nor Lorelai got a chance to answer as Rory looked around and asked why Mrs Rossini wasn’t with them.

“Don’t stress, hon, we brought Mrs R,” Lorelai assured her. “She went to go get a good seat in the hall, that’s all,” she smiled.

“Rory, look at you!” said Emily suddenly rushing towards her with the biggest grin on her face. “You look wonderful. So big and glowing.”

“Like a lighthouse beacon,” she sighed heavily.

“Oh, nonsense! You look beautiful” her grandma insisted. “Why don’t you tell her she looks beautiful, Jess?” she asked him accusatorily.

“I do, I did,” he said definitely. “Rory?” he implored her to get him out of this mess and of course she did.

“Grandma, Jess tells me all the time that I’m beautiful,” she confirmed. “But honestly? I don’t believe him any more than I believe anybody else right now. I feel like a blue whale in this dress.”

“Well, I think you look gorgeous,” said Lorelai definitely. “And since I’m your mother and gave you those stunning good looks, you can’t argue with me. Now, I think it’s time us girls went and did the rest of the getting ready thing. Mom, which way to the bride’s boudoir?” she asked with a grin.

“Lorelai!” her mother scolded her with her name alone. “The bridal room,” she corrected her, “is right this way.”

“Lead on, MacDuff!” her daughter exclaimed, if only to make Rory laugh, and follow on behind.

“See you later,” said Jess, kissing Rory’s cheek before she was quite literally dragged away by the arm.

He and Luke watched the women leave, over-hearing Lorelai exclaim loudly about suddenly realising that she was the maid of honour and Jess was the best man. If tradition were to be upheld, that was, in her words, just the squickiest thing.

“I’m not going to argue with that,” said Luke with a shudder.

“Seconded,” his nephew agreed.

“Well, gentlemen,” said Richard then, clapping his hands together. “I don’t know about you, but I could use a stiff drink before this ceremony begins,” he told them, leading them out of the foyer. “I don’t mind telling you, I think I’m as nervous about this as I was the first time around.”

“Well, that’s okay, Richard,” said Luke, patting him on the shoulder. “I mean, if you get cold feet, Jess is right here to step in,” he smirked as wickedly as his nephew sometimes did.

It was hilarious to watch Jess’ eyes go wide as saucers at the obvious joke that made both Richard and Luke himself chuckle. As if the idea of being partnered with Lorelai wasn’t enough to freak the kid out, suggesting he might have to marry Emily in Richard’s stead was down-right terrifying to him, as it should be!

* * *

The ceremony went off without incident and everyone was glad to see Richard and Emily reunited and ‘remarried’ in such a beautiful way. Rory got teary-eyed by how beautiful it was all was, but didn’t feel all that silly about it since the same thing happened to her mom. Jess looked so handsome stood up next to Richard and managed not to look awkward about it all, even when he had to escort Lorelai back down the aisle instead of Rory who was escorted by one of Richard’s groomsmen. Still, it was nice to get back to their significant others for the reception. Lorelai felt much more comfortable on Luke’s arm, and Rory was more than happy to be at Jess’ side again, right where she belonged.

“Wow. Look at those flower arrangements,” exclaimed Luke, perhaps a little too loudly as the four of them walked into the Rose Room. “This thing must’ve cost a fortune! They’re real orchids.”

“A little gayer, please,” Lorelai teased him.

“Took the words right out of my mouth,” Jess agreed as Rory laughed.

Luke sighed; “Hey, I’m just saying,”

They had barely gotten in the door when Lorelai’s cousin Marilyn came over and started rambling about how beautiful everything was and how wonderful the ceremony had been. Just when she looked about done going on and on, she turned to Luke and tipped him a wink.

“You’re saving a dance for me,” she told him rather than asked, and then she walked away.

“There’s dancing?” Jess checked, suddenly feeling even more sick than he had when the older woman came on to Luke like that.

“Yeah, but me and Luke called dibs on Pulp Fiction,” said Lorelai too seriously. “I’d say you could do Dirty Dancing but the lift might be tough when you’re throwing the weight of two over your head,” she smiled slightly.

Rory poked out her tongue, but then laughed anyway.

“I need to sit,” she said, shifting awkwardly even in her virtually flat shoes. “We’ll see you guys at the table,” she told her mom and Luke.

“Table five, hon,” Lorelai directed.

Jess nodded in answer when Rory failed to do so, and supported his fiancé as best as he could all the way to their table. She sat down with a bit of a bump, one hand going to the small of her back. Rory was sure she had never ached so much as she had this past month or so. Every day she felt like she expanded a little more, putting more pressure on her spine and her ankles. Standing around during the ceremony sure hadn’t helped any and now it was just a beautiful thing to be sitting.

It didn’t bother her too much when the other guests started asking questions about her pregnancy before they even checked who she was. A lot of the extended family knew Lorelai, even though they hadn’t seen her since she was a kid. Less knew Rory by anything but name, and for the fact that she was the illegitimate Gilmore-Hayden baby. Now she and Jess were making family history all over again by having a child out of wedlock themselves. Nobody made any comments about that, but there were looks and awkward pauses that Rory knew made Jess mad. Her hand closed around his under the table and squeezed. She really didn’t want a scene here today and he knew it, so he held his tongue, no matter how tough it was to do so sometimes.

“So, how far along are you, honey?” asked the nearest busybody cousin or aunt, Rory really wasn’t sure of the blood connection, or even if there was one, but the question was harmless enough.

“Thirty five weeks,” she confirmed, to a chorus of oohs and ahs, followed by many a tale about pregnancies experienced by both those at the table and others they knew.

Rory mostly zoned out whilst they chattered amongst themselves. She looked across at Jess and he smiled making her forget everything in this moment but how much she loved him. 

“Rory?” someone prompted suddenly, bringing her attention back to the conversation around the table. “Is you father not here?” asked another mystery woman.

Rory shook her head.

“Er, no,” she confirmed, not elaborating any further.

Jess watched her for some deeper reaction to the question but none came. After Christopher left from his visit, he had promised to be better, to try harder. Jess never really believed he would, and suspected Rory wasn’t that naive either. It had been almost a month and they had received only one phone call, all of four days ago, and that was just to say that Chris’ own father was sick. He barely even asked how Rory was doing, just waxed lyrical on his own woes.

It was something to realise how genuinely unmoved Rory was by the whole thing now. If she was hiding sadness, Jess would know, he always knew, but she really did seem okay with her dad not being around even after he promised. That had to be a good thing, even if it was kind of sad. Jess squeezed Rory’s hand again, determined that if he ever made a promise to Rory or to their son, he would keep it, come hell or high water.

* * *

“Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to present to you for the first time this century, Mr and Mrs Richard Gilmore,” said the emcee.

Rory craned her neck to see if Jess was coming back into the hall yet. He slipped out to the bathroom five minutes ago and hadn’t returned. She really didn’t want him to miss the speeches. After all, grandpa might make mention of his being the best man and that would be so embarrassing if he wasn’t present.

“Hey, you okay?” asked a voice beside her in a whisper, so as not to interrupt when Richard began his speech.

Rory turned towards the unfamiliar man beside her and shook her head.

“I’m fine, thanks,” she assured the stranger. “I was just looking for my fiancé...” she explained, looking towards the far door for Jess but still not seeing him.

“You’re Rory, right?” the guy beside her checked. “We met at Yale, just briefly,” he explained.

Rory frowned some and then realisation hit.

“Yes, we did. Er...”

“Logan,” he prompted when she looked as if trying to recall was hard work. “I guess I am at an advantage with your name given that you’re in the wedding party.”

“And pretty recognisable,” she laughed lightly, her arms around her pregnant belly.

“Well, can’t deny that,” Logan agreed with a winning smile.

Just at that moment, Jess returned to Rory’s side, eyeing the blond hovering around her with some distaste.

“You okay?” he asked Rory, sliding his arms around her.

“Of course,” she nodded. “Er, Jess this is Logan. Logan, my fiancé, Jess,” she introduced them awkwardly, especially since they were all still speaking in whispers whilst Richard finished his speech and cued the music.

“Ah, the best man,” Logan smiled though there was no real warmth in the look.

Rory’s expression was far more genuine as she looked at her man.

“Yes,” she said definitely. “He really is.”

Jess wasn’t expecting the compliment but was happy to take it all the same as he also accepted the kiss that came his way. Logan soon wandered off when that happened, and neither Rory nor Jess really noticed the going of him.

“Huh,” said Jess when they finally parted.

“Is that all you have to say after a kiss like that?” teased Rory.

“Well, I would ask you to dance, but this music is painfully awful,” he winced as the song continued, some woman complaining about wanting to marry a man named Bill.

Rory laughed, her eyes drifting to where her grandparents had taken to the floor, as had Luke and Lorelai, even Mrs Rossini had been asked to dance by some Gilmore friend or relation that Rory couldn’t recall a name for. Everybody looked so happy, and in this moment Rory felt happy too. Sure, her back ached and her feet ached, and she would rather not be blown up like a balloon, but she had all kinds of reasons to smile today, and right at the top of that list was her fiancé.

“Dance with me, Jess?” she urged him. “I know the song is lame and I’m a blimp, but I also know I’ll regret it if we don’t at least dance once today,” she complained.

“C’mon,” he smirked at her phrasing, pulling her by the hand onto the dance floor.

Pulling Rory into his arms when there was so much of her didn’t come easy, but Jess found a way. They swayed gently to the music, movement kept to a minimum because Rory wasn’t exactly capable of anything much right now, and Jess wouldn’t exactly be willing for a full-on jive even if she were. It didn’t really matter that the music sucked, it was just nice to hold onto each other and be close for a while, at least it was until Jess felt his fiancée tense up terribly in his arms.

“Rory?” he checked, pulling back to see her face.

Without his direct support, Rory started to bend double, her arms leaving his body to grasp at her own stomach.

“Argh!” she exclaimed in pain. “Oh, God! Jess, help me!”

“I don’t... Is it the baby?”

“It can’t be” she cried, sinking to the floor. “It’s too early, and it feels wrong, I... argh!”

Jess didn’t know what to do for her, and was at least a little relieved to see Lorelai appear at his side with Luke in tow.

“Rory, sweetheart, it’s okay,” her mother promised as she crouched beside her. “It’s gonna be okay,” she promised, but her eyes looked panicked as she glanced up at Luke and Jess. “One of you call an ambulance. Now!”


	41. Chapter 40

The whole world faded away when Rory fell to the ground screaming. Jess just didn’t know what to think or what to do, he went to pieces and that wasn’t helping. Seeing Rory in pain was the worst feeling he had ever experienced, and sat here now in the waiting area of the hospital knowing he could do nothing to help her, that was the second worst feeling. It was just Jess and Luke in there now. Lorelai was around, but couldn’t bear to sit still when her baby was in pain. She had gone to find a nurse to get more information, and a coffee to steady her nerves that were all on edge, plus she had promised to call her parents and Mrs R to let them know what was going on, not that they knew much yet. Luke stayed with Jess but his presence had little to no effect on his nephew. He was staring across at the opposite wall, not seeing a thing but an image of Rory, her face contorted in pain.

Something was wrong. This wasn’t just the baby coming, it was too sudden, too painful. Besides it was a month too early. Not that babies couldn’t be premature, but four weeks sure seemed like a lot. Something was wrong, and Jess could do nothing about it.

“Jess?” said Luke when he thought he heard his nephew speak, albeit in a muttered tone.

He got no answer but Jess did get up from his seat. He paced back and forth a couple of times, and then out of nowhere he picked up his chair and threw it against the far wall. Luke rushed to him immediately, grabbing his arms, yelling at him to calm the hell down. Jess raged a minute more, and then gave in, muscles going slack all over, uncharacteristic tears welling in his eyes.

“Why does this always happen, Luke?” he asked him desperately. “Why when things are finally good...?”

He was trying his damndest not to cry and Luke knew it. Poor Jess. He hadn’t always been the greatest kid, but that wasn’t all his fault. He had a pretty crappy start in life, no real support, nobody to care about him. He learnt to be hard, to be wild, to be what he had to be to survive. Sure, he screwed up with Rory but he had more than made up for it since. The two of them were working hard at making their relationship all that it should have been before, loving and stable. They had a home, a family, a baby on the way. Things were finally coming together, and now it seemed something awful was happening to blow it all to hell.

“Jess, I... I don’t know what to say,” Luke shook his head. “I’m sorry.”

He pulled his nephew into a hug and Jess went willingly. Screw being manly and brave, this was killing him. Luke held onto him a while, patting his back, offering what comfort he could in a moment of panic. Truth was, he was almost as worried about Rory and the baby as Jess was. That girl had been like a daughter to Luke for so many years now. Seeing her in pain had torn him apart inside, seeing Lorelai crying and panicked over her little girl’s distress too. Still, they had to be strong and have faith. Things could work out yet.

“People in this family are tough,” he told Jess, pulling back to look him in the eye. “The Gilmores as well as our side. We’re all tough, that means Rory and that kid of yours are probably going to be just fine. We gotta have a little faith, Jess.”

He nodded that he understood that, but it didn’t stop him feeling sick to his stomach. The alternative ending to this scenario was stuck on a loop in his brain, the version where he lost Rory, or that they lost their unborn child. Either one of those things would kill him, Jess was sure.

Sniffing hard, he dragged the back of his hand across his face and then pushed his fingers through his hair.

“I’m sorry,” he apologised to Luke, but his uncle shook his head.

“You have nothing to apologise for,” he assured him. “People you love are in a hospital, you’re allowed to care, Jess. You’re allowed to be upset about it. It’s not a weakness, it just shows how much you love them.”

He smiled slightly at that before the deep frown and teary eyes returned.

“Y’know I expected to be freaked out in this place,” he admitted. “I didn’t expect it to be for another month, but... but I expected the panic.”

Luke wasn’t sure what to make of that.

“Well, I guess that’s normal,” he considered. “Becoming a father has to be a big deal. Most new parents are nervous...”

“More than nervous,” Jess shook his head, dropping down into the next seat over since the one he had been in before was a twisted mess across the room now.

Luke couldn’t understand where this was coming from. Worry over Rory’s condition, tears and tantrums, that he could make sense of. If he had a little less self-control, he would be throwing furniture himself, but this was different. Now Jess was talking about a happy day that ought to be, that might still happen, when Rory gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. Obviously Jess was apprehensive about taking on fatherhood. It was a big deal, and Luke didn’t have to have gone through the experience himself to understand its significance.

A flashback seemed to happen in his mind then, like a piece of an old black and white movie. Sat in the waiting room of a hospital in New York whilst Jimmy paced the floor and Liz screamed her lungs out down the hall. Suddenly, Luke understood exactly.

“Jess,” he said softly, crouching down to his level, putting a hand to his nephew's shoulder so he would take his face out of his hands and look at him. “You are not your father. You’re not. You’re nothing like Jimmy.”

“Bull,” he shook his head. “I met the guy, Luke. We talked, we... we’re not that different.”

“Yes, you are,” his uncle insisted, gripping Jess' shoulder more tightly as he made him meet his eyes. “Now you listen to me, you can be nervous, flat-out scared in fact. You can get the urge to bolt, and I’m sure many a man before you has too, but here’s the difference, Jess; I know you won’t do it,” he said definitely.

Jess didn’t look so sure.

“I did it before,” he reminded him. “After the car accident. When I dropped out of high school. God, even the day I first told Rory I loved her. I just get on a bus or jump in a car and I’m gone. I hurt her over and over, Luke. I... I know that I did, and I hate myself for it, but sometimes... sometimes when things get bad, it’s still there. That feeling in my gut that tells me to get my stuff and go, fast as I can, before things get any worse,” he explained, not even noticing that he had made himself cry in the process.

Luke felt like crying too, truth be told. Jess had to have been holding this in for weeks, months even, worrying himself silly over something that would never happen. Luke knew his nephew had made mistakes in the past, and some of the worst had involved running from those who loved him and needed him, but he wasn’t that person anymore, he just couldn’t see it.

“Jess, listen to me,” he insisted, hand moving to his face so he couldn’t look away. “Now you pay attention, because I’m not a fan of repeating myself. I know how you feel about Rory, and about that baby you two have made,” he said definitely. “And yeah, sure, you made mistakes before, but you learnt from them. You’ve grown up in ways I can’t even count. You’re holding down two jobs, you have a home of your own, you’re engaged for crying out loud!” he reminded him. “And I know what you’re gonna say, that Jimmy was married to your mom, didn’t stop him running out, but honestly? He was never as committed to Liz as you are to Rory, never. He married your mom because she was pregnant, because I pretty much told him it’s a wedding or a funeral for him. He didn’t make that choice. The only choice he made was to leave the two of you and not look back for eighteen years! That’s not you, Jess. It’s not you, and Rory knows that. I know it too. It’s just you that can’t see it.”

Jess didn’t know what to say to any of that. He wanted to believe he was a better person than he thought, but it was so strange to know others had such faith in him, especially Luke. Jess had given his uncle every reason to think the worst of him over the years. Sure, he was trying to turn his life around now, for Rory and the baby, as well as for himself, but Jess was seriously shaky on whether or not it was working. Maybe he was worrying over nothing, but his genetics meant he was programmed to be a loser and a flake, at least directly from his parents. Of course, he shared blood with Luke too, and the steadfast William who he never knew but had to be a slightly more stuck-in-the-mud version of his uncle, as far as Jess could tell. If he could find the over-riding blood of the Danes men in him, Jess thought maybe he could live up to the standards Luke and Rory both believed him capable of. First, Rory had to be okay, and the baby too.

Right on cue the door opened and Lorelai walked in. She had tears streaming down her face and immediately Luke rushed to her. Jess followed, desperate for news, even if it was bad. He just had to know.

“She’s okay,” Lorelai cried openly, wiping at her cheeks with both hands and laughing through her tears. “It was a false alarm, one of those Braxton-Hicks kind of things. The doctors said it can come on that quickly sometimes, but ultimately she’s fine, and the baby’s fine,” she cried.

“Thank God!” said Luke, grabbing a hold of Lorelai and hugging her tight.

Jess felt all the air rush out of his lungs, his legs turning to jello beneath him as the relief hit like a ton of bricks. Rory was okay, and their baby too. They were okay. It was all going to be okay.

“Can I see her?” he asked Lorelai who nodded.

“The doctor says yes,” she confirmed. “They’re keeping her in the rest of the night just to be sure nothing else is gonna happen, but they’re pretty sure she’s fine. The panic didn’t help her.”

“The panic didn’t help any of us,” said Luke, looking at Jess. “You okay?”

“I am now,” he nodded with a smile that was as real as anything.

Jess didn’t see or hear much from there to Rory’s room. He walked in the door and saw her lying in the hospital bed and she broke his heart all over again when she saw him and started to cry.

“Rory,” he rushed to her, gathering her up in his arms and holding her close.

“Jess, I’m so sorry I scared you,” she told him between sobs.

“It’s not your fault,” he assured her. “It’s okay. You’re okay now.”

They sat wrapped in each other’s arms, rocking back and forth for a long time. It could’ve been ten minutes or an hour and they wouldn’t’ve noticed. When they finally parted, he reached out to move her hair off her face and wipe the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs.

“You scared the crap outta me, Gilmore,” he told her with a delirious sort of smile because she was okay, everything was okay now.

“Kinda scared me too,” she admitted. “It was just so sudden, and... and I really thought...”

“Hey,” he stopped her from upsetting herself again, his hand over hers on her pregnant belly now. “He’s fine, so are you, and you’re gonna stay that way. I’m gonna make sure of it.”

“The doctor said I needed to rest more,” Rory sniffed. “He thinks maybe the stress of the move and the vow renewal and everything caused the false alarm. I’m not on absolute bed rest but more or less apparently,” she sighed.

“If that’s what the doctor says then that’s what we’re doing,” Jess assured her. “And you’re not being left alone either.”

“Jess, you can’t babysit me twenty four seven. You have to work!”

“Hey, there are enough people that can takes shifts on this. Me, Lorelai, Luke, Lane, Mrs R. We’ll figure out a schedule. I’m not... I’m not taking any chances here, Rory, I’m just not,” he said definitely.

Rory smiled in spite of her tears, and reached out a hand to Jess’ cheek.

“I love you,” she told him softly.

“And I love you; both of you,” he promised, leaning in to kiss her lips.

* * *

Jess had meant what he said about sticking to the doctor’s orders, and Rory was only mildly surprised by how serious he really had been. Though she wasn't literally confined to her bed, she was mostly kept in the apartment for her own good. Honestly, Rory didn’t mind so much since her back ached most of the time, her ankles swelled, and she felt pretty crappy all in all. When Jess had to work, a friend or family member came to sit with Rory, so she didn’t feel like she was missing out on much. She got all the town gossip and such brought right to her door, and it was kind of nice to get the chance to sit and chat with so many people.

It was Thursday and Jess was getting ready to head out for a shift at Walmart. He was supposed to have left five minutes ago if he was going to be there on time, but so far Lorelai hadn’t shown up to take over watching out for Rory.

“You can go,” his fiancée insisted. “Mom will be here soon, and I think I can survive a few minutes by myself.”

Jess knew she was right and still he was reluctant to leave her. Anything could happen in a minute or two, as proven at the Gilmores vow renewal. As sudden as Rory's distress had been then, Jess didn’t want to leave her even for a moment, especially as they were getting ever closer to her due date all the time. Reaching for his cell, he dialled Lorelai’s number but it went to voicemail. He tried the inn’s number next.

“Michel? It’s Jess. Is Lorelai there?”

“She is not,” he replied in his usual snotty tone. “At least that is what she is telling me to say as she throws things into her purse and runs for the door.”

“She’s just leaving now?” 

“Is that not what I just described to you?”

Jess tried not to get mad, but it was never easy with guys like Michel. He forced out a thanks and hung up from the call. Automatically he checked his watch and then sighed. If he left now he might just get to work on time, but Lorelai was anything up to a half hour away.

“Jess, please, just go,” Rory insisted. “Mom is on her way, and if there’s an emergency I am within easy reach of the phone. I can call 911, and Mom will probably still get here faster than an ambulance.”

The very idea of her needing a hospital again made Jess shudder, which was dumb because she was probably going to need one when the baby came, and that wasn’t a tragedy, it ought to be a joyous day. Shaking his head he checked his watch again. He really didn't want to piss off his boss right now. Coming over to the couch, he leaned down and kissed Rory’s lips tenderly.

“You feel anything, and I do mean anything that might be a pain or a problem, you call for help,” he told her firmly.

“Yes, sir,” she mock-saluted with a smirk, trying to inject a little humour.

“You’re cute.”

“I know.”

He kissed her one more time and then grabbed his jacket to leave. Even then Jess hovered at the door a few seconds before he actually dragged himself away. Rory smiled and shook her head. She loved how much he cared, honestly, she did, but there was no need for quite this much panic. At the time when it happened, she was as scared as anybody, but Rory hadn’t felt any pains or twinges since then and doubted she would again until the baby decided it was time to be born. That wasn’t due to happen for more than three weeks yet.

A knock on the door made her jump then. It couldn’t be her mom, unless Michel was exaggerating about Lorelai only just leaving the inn when Jess called. Frowning, Rory levered herself up off the couch and slowly waddled towards the door. She opened it up cautiously and peered out, getting a real surprise when she saw who was stood on the other side.

“Dean? What are you doing here?” she asked him.

“We need to talk.”


	42. Chapter 41

Rory didn’t know what to think when she opened the apartment door and found Dean there. They really hadn’t talked at all since she returned to Stars Hollow with Jess and announced she was pregnant by him. There was a screaming match in the street that one time when Dean had suggested the baby might be his own. That had ended with Jess telling Rory’s ex a few home truths and popping him in the mouth for good measure. Since then, Rory sort of assumed Dean was avoiding her, and certainly if she saw him she crossed the street because it just seemed easier that way. Now here he was, in her home, the one she shared with Jess. The last time they had been alone together, Rory and Dean were lying in the glow of making love for the first and only time. Only later when she shared a bed with Jess did Rory realise quite how wrong she had been in allowing Dean to be her first. Now it was just a strange distorted memory, almost like she dreamt it all and it never really happened. She really wished it hadn’t.

Dean just looked as if he wished he were anywhere but here right now, which was strange since he was the one who chose to come over. Rory certainly wouldn’t have invited him, but when he showed up on the doorstep wanting to talk, she didn’t really see what harm it could do. Strangely, he had yet to say a word since he sat down in the armchair opposite her spot on the couch. Rory checked her watch and sighed.

“I don’t mean to hurry you, Dean,” she told him. “But you said you came here to talk and my mom is going to be here in the next twenty minutes or so. I’m not saying I’m worried about explaining why you’re here, but I don’t even know the reason yet,” she pointed out.

Dean’s fingers laced together and unlaced again a moment later as he sat there still, his elbows on his knees. He was barely looking at Rory at all, more focused on the carpet or the far wall, but he certainly wasn’t talking. Another long minute, a pause that Rory felt compelled to pierce with more words when suddenly Dean pushed his hair back off his face with his whole hand and sighed.

“I’m sorry, Rory,” he told her then.

“Sorry you came here?” she checked, a little confused by the sudden apology that she really wasn’t expecting.

“No, well, yeah, but... well, I’m sorry for a lot of things actually,” he tried to explain and seemed to feel miserably every time he tried. “That day when we... when we were together...” he said awkwardly.

“Yeah, I think we’re both sorry about that,” she shifted in her seat, hand going absently to her pregnant belly.

Dean saw the movement and shook his head.

“It seems so crazy. You’re gonna be a mom,” he smiled slightly.

Rory smiled too, much more genuinely than her ex could manage.

“Yeah, in three weeks or so,” she nodded. “Trust me, it still seems a little crazy to me too, but I’m happy,” she assured him. “This is nothing like the plan I had for my life but honestly, I really am so happy now.”

“That’s good,” Dean nodded. “Y’know, Rory, I always wanted to be the one to make you happy. I know it’s not cool for guys to think about the future and stuff, not when they’re still in high school. I mean, my friends were all for dating as many girls as they could just for... well, you know what for,” he cleared his throat. “But I had you and I loved you. I thought we were forever...”

“Dean...” Rory shook her head, feeling so very awkward.

“It’s okay, I’m not saying I think that now,” he assured her. “I... I don’t even want to anymore. I mean, I did, even after... You and Jess, me and Lindsay, I don’t know what it was, I just... I couldn’t let go. Losing you the way I did, and I know it wasn’t all your fault...”

“It was a lot my fault,” she told him easily. “Dean, I didn’t treat you right. At the very least, when I first realised I had feelings for Jess, I should’ve told you. I should’ve had the decency to let you know it was over instead of leaving you dangling the way I did.”

“Agreed,” he nodded. “But honestly, Rory? I know I wasn’t treating you the way I should either. I guess I got kinda jealous, even before Jess. I can only apologise and blame it on the teenage hormones?” he smiled slightly. “I don’t even know anymore.”

“It was a long time ago,” Rory shrugged. “Forget it.”

“Maybe we can forget way back when in high school, but last Summer...”

“Also a long time ago,” she told him firmly. “At least it feels that way, doesn’t it?”

Dean seemed to consider her words a long time before he could answer.

“I guess it does, yeah,” he admitted. “You know, when you left, I told myself I had to get over you. You obviously regretted what happened to leave that way, and then when you came back with him... with Jess,” he said, trying to be more reasonable in the circumstances. “I just... It took me back to before, the last time you left me for him. I felt all that jealousy come rushing back, but it was stupid, because I’m married to Lindsay now.”

“And she deserves better, Dean,” said Rory firmly. “She’s your wife and she loves you. If you stay with her but go looking elsewhere for love, then you’re only doing to Lindsay what I did to you. You’re not that guy, Dean. At least, you shouldn’t be.”

He knew she was right. She could see in his face the guilt for doing exactly what she described. Lindsay did deserve better. She deserved a loving and committed relationship, or nothing at all, a clean break so she could start over with someone else.

“I told her what happened with us,” he admitted then. “About the day we slept together.”

Rory’s eyes widened a little at that. She really wasn’t expecting Dean to say it, had no idea why he would have made such a confession, and yet she was oddly proud of him for doing so.

“Um, when did you...? What did you say?” she asked, not sure what she wanted to know first.

Dean smiled.

“It was a while ago, when you first came back,” he explained. “She was weirdly okay about it. I knew she should be mad, she ought to have thrown me out... or thrown things at my head,” he smirked a little. “But she was just disappointed in me, I guess. I hated that.”

“But you’re still together,” said Rory encouragingly. “That’s good, right?”

“I think so,” he nodded his agreement. “Some days it feels good and real, y’know? Like I made the right choice marrying Lindsay and she really can make me happy. Other times... I don’t know, I’m not so sure.”

He looked so sad that Rory actually felt sorry for him. She hadn’t expected that, not now, not after everything. She knew Dean hadn’t been treating Lindsay all that well from the get go, but she just seemed to take it, and so the vicious cycle went on. It ought to be fixed or end, in her opinion, but it wasn’t really her place to say, at least she didn’t think so. Rory bit her lip thinking about it. Dean mistook her expression for pain.

“Are you okay?” he checked. “I mean, I heard what happened at your grandparents’ ceremony. It was all over town within an hour.”

“The beauty of Stars Hollow,” Rory rolled her eyes and giggled. “I’m fine. I just have to stress less, so I’m pretty much confined to the apartment, and someone is here to watch over me all the time,” she frowned then checking her watch. “And my mom is going to be here any second for her turn.”

“Then I should go,” Dean nodded, standing up fast.

Rory struggled to get up herself, and he automatically moved to help her. It felt a little weird to Rory to have his hands on her body after so long, and it sure wasn’t as comforting as it had been years ago. No exciting tingles, no warm feelings inside. All of that only happened with Jess, and this was just Dean, he didn’t mean that much anymore.

“Thanks,” she smiled up at him. “For the help, and the apology. All of it, I guess.”

“You’re welcome, I guess,” he smiled then, looking like the boy Rory used to daydream about and yet not enough to have any effect on her anymore. “Um, thanks for letting me in, listening to me ramble on...”

“Hey, you’re talking to the Queen of the Ramblers here, or at the very least the heir apparent,” she considered, thinking quite obviously of Lorelai. “I never wanted us to be enemies, Dean, you know that.”

“I know,” he agreed. “But I don’t think your fiancé is much going to like us being friends either,” he said as they walked to the door.

“Maybe not,” Rory considered. “Although, Jess has kind of mellowed in some ways... but maybe not that much,” she laughed lightly as she opened the door to let Dean out.

From the hallway he looked back and smiled at the girl he used to love, grown up into a woman with a life he no longer had a place in, and he knew it too well.

“Take care of yourself, Rory,” he told her.

“You too, Dean,” she replied in kind and then he was gone.

Rory closed the door and turned around, contemplating if she should make another trip to the bathroom before returning to the couch. Getting up and down wasn’t so much fun and this way she would eliminate one more struggle from the day. On the other hand, she didn’t really want to be otherwise engaged when her mom arrived. The decision was made for her when a knock had her turning around again and opening up the door to reveal a harried looking Lorelai.

“Hey, Mommy’s here!” she declared with a grin, moving to hug her daughter.

Rory hugged her back with a genuine smile on her face, and tears in her eyes that she couldn’t quite explain.

* * *

When Jess got home from his shift at WalMart he wasn’t surprised to find Lorelai and Rory in fits of giggles on the couch, empty candy wrappers and potato chip bags on the coffee table, and Rory’s toes painted ten different colours.

“Hey, the Boy Wonder returns!” said Lorelai with a chuckle.

“I don’t even wanna know, do I?” Jess shook his head but smirked all the same as he closed the door behind himself.

“I told you, Jess would so be a superhero and not a sidekick!” Rory said definitely.

Lorelai put on a squeaky girly voice, her hand over her heart in over-dramatics.

“My fiancé is so dreamy. He’s my Superman!”

“Aw, geez!” Jess groaned and made a hasty exit to the bedroom, whilst the Gilmore girls continued to laugh like drains.

“Have to stop now!” said Rory breathlessly. “Seriously, Mom, it kinda hurts,” she complained, though the giggles wouldn’t stop coming, bringing tears to her eyes.

“Aaaw, I’m sorry, babe,” Lorelai apologised. “I guess we had a little too much fun for you two to handle,” she said, rubbing the bump under which the baby lived. “Not long now, huh?”

“Nope,” said Rory with a sigh. “I don’t know whether I’m excited or nervous or both. Probably both.”

“Sounds right,” her mother agreed. “Oh, sweets, I can’t believe this. I know I’ve had months to get used it already, but my kid is having a kid of her own. It’s so crazy!”

“Tell me about it.”

“I know this wasn’t the plan we had, but I am so incredibly proud of you. You know that, right?”

“You’re proud of me for getting pregnant at nineteen?”

“Well, the timing could’ve been better, but hey, not exactly the person to judge,” said Lorelai with a knowing look as she pointed to herself. “But look at how you’re coping with everything, you and Jess working together, making it happen. I’m so proud of how grown up you are, both of you, and I’m incredibly happy for you too.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Rory said softly, tears running down from her eyes.

“You’re welcome, babe,” Lorelai smiled as she got up from the couch and came over to plant a kiss on Rory’s forehead. “Now, I gotta go. Jess?” she called through to the bedroom. “Tag, you’re it!”

“Thanks, Lorelai,” he said as he emerged from the bedroom, finishing the buttons on a clean shirt. “Er, can you let Luke know I’ll be over to start on the books tomorrow morning?”

“Sure thing, kid,” she agreed and then with one last wave, she left.

Jess moved to join Rory on the couch, flopping down into the cushions with a sigh.

“Long shift? asked Rory.

“Crappy shift,” he corrected. “But whatever. Hopefully once we figure out all the financial stuff with the diner I won’t need to work two jobs anymore. That’s one of the things I need to talk over with Luke tomorrow.”

“No more crappy forklift job would be good,” said Rory with a nod as she shifted to sit closer to her fiance, his arm going automatically around her shoulders to hold her close. “Awkward shifts just mess up your sleep pattern and make you Mr Grumpy Pants.”

“Hey, five minutes ago I was Superman,” he reminded her. “Or at the very least Robin.”

Rory giggled and looked up at him.

“I’m not sure you’d look all that great in a cape.” 

“The Superboy act was more your ex’s style,” he shrugged, immediately regretting bringing up Dean at all when he saw Rory’s expression darken. “Sorry,” he muttered quickly.

“It’s fine,” she said softly, looking away.

Now was the perfect opportunity to tell Jess that Dean had been over to the apartment today. She wanted to, at least a part of her did. Withholding the truth was the equivalent of telling a lie, and Rory didn’t want that, she didn’t want what she and Jess had now to be sullied that way. Still, telling a tired, stressed-out person that your ex came over to talk today, an ex he really, really didn’t like, that seemed like relationship suicide.

“Rory?” Jess checked when she went so quiet on him all of a sudden.

“I, er... I saw Dean today,” she forced out. “He came over to visit.”

“When Lorelai was here?” asked Jess with a frown.

“No, before she got here. Right after you left,” she confirmed.

Now that she thought on it, Rory could only assume Dean had been waiting out front for Jess to leave and then come in. He couldn’t really have known that Lorelai would be late, but he sure seemed to have planned his avoidance of Jess, which made sense. It was kind of sneaky though.

“Are you mad?” asked Rory.

Jess shrugged his shoulders.

“Why would I be mad?” he asked, though his expression proved he wasn’t amused in any case. “You didn’t invite him here, right?”

“Of course not,” she sighed. “He just showed up. He wanted to talk, to apologise mostly, for how things went with us,” she explained. “Then he got to talking about Lindsay. I told him he should treat her better, but he seemed to know that. I think they’re still having problems. Anyway, I’m telling you this so you don’t find out later and end up getting mad because it was kept from you. I don’t keep things from you, Jess, any more than you keep things from me.”

That made him wince. Not that he had any secret girlfriends or illicit liaisons he was keeping under wraps or anything, but Jess hadn’t been entirely honest with Rory about his worries over the baby and her, his concerns that he might yet prove to be rather too much like Jimmy. Bringing that up now seemed pointless, though something told him if Rory was on an honesty kick, maybe he should be too. He leaned down to kiss her lips, then pushed her hair back over her ear with a smile.

“Thanks for telling me,” he said softly. “Y’know, I... I’m not the world’s best at sharing myself, but lately I just... I kinda had this stupid thing going on where I was feeling a little freaked out about the whole baby/future life thing, and I want you to know, Rory, that I am not going anywhere. I swear to God, I meant what I said before, about being here for you and for the baby, no matter what. It just bothers me sometimes, when I think about Jimmy and... and how he left. I thought if he was capable of that, maybe I am too, but honestly? The idea of leaving you scares me way more than facing whatever life can throw at us together.”

Rory couldn’t say anything to that. It meant so much to her that Jess would share his fears. Usually he professed not to have any at all, and though she knew he must do, he wasn’t much for admitting such things. Confessing all this to her now, it just proved how truly committed he was, way more than the actual words he was saying.

“I love you, Jess Mariano,” she told him when she eventually found her voice, pulling him close for a good long kiss.

As tough as things seemed sometimes, Rory knew they really were going to be okay.


	43. Chapter 42

“I don’t think we could’ve timed this any better if we tried,” said Lorelai, skimming her finger over the cream topping of the nearest pie and licking her finger happily. “Rory is so down about the ongoing pregnant state. Seriously, with two weeks to go, she just really wants that baby born.”

“I guess the being big and the back ache gets to a person after a while,” considered Lane as she came down from the stepladder and looked up at her handiwork.

They were in Miss Patty’s studio, putting the finishing touches to the world’s most epic baby shower, at least that was what Lorelai claimed it was going to be. Her baby girl deserved nothing less to her mind, and the whole town seemed to agree.

The idea had come about not long after Rory’s stress-related false alarm at her grandparents vow renewal. Lorelai pitched it to Lane who thought it was an awesome way to cheer Rory up and let her know that she had a huge support system, so she didn’t need to stress about anything. They ran the concept passed Luke and Jess, both of whom whole-heartedly agreed to the plan, and so Lorelai got started on the arrangements. It wasn’t so hard to keep it all a secret since Rory was practically on house arrest at the apartment in New Haven. Miss Patty offered up her studio as a large enough space for everyone to gather. Luke was going to provide all the food until Sookie got upset about not being asked. Lorelai did explain that she was just trying to avoid putting pressure on the other pregnant lady in her life, and whilst Sookie appreciated the thought once she heard the reasoning, she was still determined to help. In the end, it was a joint effort between Lorelai’s two favourite cooking experts. Mrs Rossini helped out with decorations and other details, even convincing her new beau Taylor to supply some of the drinks (both alcoholic and not) from his store for a knock down price. Lorelai was massively impressed as well as grateful.

Everybody wanted to lend a hand and there certainly seemed like quite enough to do. The date was set for Saturday 26th February, timed to match up with Rory’s latest doctor’s appointment. Jess would bring her to Stars Hollow for said appointment, and get intercepted on the way back to the car by Babette, telling the couple about a last minute emergency town meeting. Knowing Rory’s curiosity would be piqued, and that she would just be grateful for the chance of interaction, she would beg to go and Jess would make a big deal of agreeing. Then would come the surprise.

“Okay, another ten minutes and they should be out of the doctor’s office,” said Lorelai, checking her watch. “How are we doing, honey?” she called to Luke as he laid more plates onto the buffet tables.

“All but done,” he assured her, as Sookie came bustling through with one last piece for the display - an enormous cake.

“Wow,” said Luke, actually feeling impressed. “That is... That’s beautiful, Sookie,” he told her eventually.

“Thank you,” she smiled at the large cake, cut and iced to look like a bassinet, all white trimmed in blue for a boy. “I just think it’s all... it’s all so wonderful,” she said then, tearing up as she looked around the room, all decorated and full of happy faces.

“Lorelai!” Luke called to his girlfriend, gesturing wildly.

It took her a moment to realise why he was pointing at Sookie, then she rushed over to give her a hug and stop her from crying, even if they were mostly happy tears. Luke could just about cope when Lorelai, Rory, or Jess got upset. Anybody else and he wanted to run!

Sookie wasn’t wrong about all of this being wonderful, Luke knew that for sure. He took a look around the room just as she had and he smiled. Sure, mostly this was for Rory, but Jess was a part of it too. Both their names were on the banner that wished them all the happiness in the world with their soon-to-be-born bundle of joy. It hit Luke then that he was going to be a great-uncle, and kind of a grandfather since he was dating Lorelai too. Shaking his head, he couldn’t get the smile off his face. There was going to be a baby in his family, the product of two people he loved very much. Sure, the timing wasn't great and times were going to be hard still, he was sure, but Luke had to admit he kind of liked how things were turning out too.

“Okay, people! Seems the timetable just moved up!” Lorelai was suddenly calling to the assembled crowd. “Babette just sent me the signal, they are on their way down from the doctor’s office. We are T minus five minutes, people!”

A mad scramble led to everyone being hidden in their prearranged spots with the lights turned out. Luke tried not to find it amusing that this included Emily and Richard, who were clearly finding the whole event quite undignified and yet were quite determined to take part anyway. Luke was hunkered down in a corner close to Lorelai, his arm around her more out of necessity than anything else, though he didn’t hate the fact he got to hold onto her for a while.

“I really hope Rory likes this,” she whispered to him.

“She’ll love it”, he assured her, kissing her cheek, just moments before the door opened, the lights went up, and everybody appeared with a yell of surprise.

Perhaps it should’ve occurred to someone that the shock of such a thing might’ve led to something bad, like Rory suddenly going into labour right then and there. She actually looked remarkably calm.

“You knew!” Lorelai accused her as she and Luke came over to Rory. “Oh my God, Jess, did you tell her?”

“I didn’t say anything!” he swore, hands in the air in mock surrender.

“He didn’t, Mom, honestly,” Rory assured her. “I just knew something had to be up when Jess seemed so determined to come to a town meeting. Either he needed a straitjacket and a padded cell stat, or something other than one of Taylor’s emergency meets was happening in here.”

“Huh,” said Lorelai, looking at Luke. “Well, we always knew she was a genius.”

“Yes, we did,” he agreed, at which Rory laughed.

“Not so much of a genius, because until five minutes ago I really had no idea about any of this,” she admitted. “But it’s wonderful, thank you. Everybody, thank you so much,” she said, looking around at the huge crowd.

This was more than she could ever have imagined.

* * *

“Rory, mi passerota,” Mrs R smiled widely as she gave her a hug. “Oh, I am so happy to see you smiling”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about yesterday,” she apologised. “Sometimes the pregnancy hormones and the back pain and... it just all gets on top of me.”

“What’s this?” asked Jess curiously.

Mrs R shook her head.

“Rory got a little upset when I was sitting with her yesterday,” she explained. “I think my tales of years gone by did not help,” she admitted.

“No, I love your stories,” Rory insisted. “I love having you around. I just wish you could stay forever.”

“Me too,” said Jess definitely, a moment of real and honest feeling rarely seen in public.

It touched Mrs Rossini’s heart and it showed on her face. She had been thinking seriously about her life in Stars Hollow of late. Two months now since Lorelai originally brought her here and still she remained. There had been trips to collect clothing and pick up her mail, but less and less that apartment in New York felt like home. Strange since she had lived there more years than she cared to count. In just a few short weeks she had come to see this sleepy little town as a place she could belong.

“Perhaps forever would not be so bad,” she smiled then, looking around at the gathering of people, many of which she had come to call friends.

Her eyes returned to Rory and Jess then, sat close with their arms around each other.

“Are you serious?” asked Rory.

“Well, I cannot stay in your mother’s inn for the rest of my days, that would not do at all,” Mrs R said definitely. “But there are apartments, small houses. Everything is much cheaper than New York, and I expect an extra pair of hands might be as useful when you have a little one to attend to, as they are now while you are expecting,” she said with a smile.

“Mrs R, you know how happy we would be to have you say,” said Jess seriously. “If I thought you meant this, I’d be hiring a U-Haul right now.”

“For my meagre possessions? I believe that would be what you young people call overkill,” she chuckled. “But I am very serious, Jess,” she told him, her hand to his face. “You and Rory, you are children... or perhaps grandchildren, I was never so blessed as to bear myself. I am honoured to have been welcomed into your family. Why would I want to leave it?”

“This weirdo town has a way of sucking you in,” he said knowingly, with a smirk that never belonged on a face more. “It’ll be cool to have you stay, Mrs R. Seriously.”

“Then stay I shall,” she promised, as Rory cried all over again.

That was one part of her pregnancy that she and Jess both would be glad to see an end of. Just about everything made her a sobbing mess, especially these last couple of weeks. When Lane took to the stage and called for everyone’s attention, Jess had a sneaking suspicions the tears weren’t done yet.

“Okay, so, we all know why we’re here,” said Lane to the assembled crowd. “Rory and Jess are having a baby, and as happy as I am for them, I’m still struggling to wrap my head around it,” she admitted, shaking her head, as a chuckle of laughter crept around the hall. “I mean, just two short years ago, we were all still in high school. Me and Rory were trading make up tips and trying on each other’s clothes, keeping secrets from our mothers... well, mostly mine,” she admitted. “Now Rory’s two weeks away from being a mother herself, and the former town hoodlum is going to be a father,” she smirked in Jess’ direction, but he only rolled his eyes. “Kind of a big deal, I’m sure you’ll all agree, and in honour of this occasion, I wanted to do something extra special. I had a little help from both Lorelai and Luke, but the work is almost all my own. Rory, Jess, I hope you like it,” she said then, cueing Zach to turn off the lights and hit play on the video.

The screen at the back of the stage lit up, and a familiar song started playing. Jess frowned a little, sure that he recognised the male voice as Joey Ramone, and the female as Holly Beth Vincent. Trust Lane to be able to find something so obscure as two of punk’s finest covering 'I Got You Babe'. Rory giggled at the song choice, and at what she soon realised was a slide show of some pictures she hadn’t seen in years and others she had never seen at all.

“Oh my God!” she gasped as a photo of her as a small child was joined by one of a small boy that could only be her fiancé.

“Ah, geez,” Jess shook his head and looked away, but his eyes returned to the screen within a moment.

These picture could only have come from Luke. Liz didn’t care enough to keep happy snaps of his childhood, and honestly, Jess knew there weren’t that many that even existed. Still, it was fun to see Rory as she had been as a kid. The pictures flew by each other, spun around and switched places in time to the music, years going past until the next photograph showed Rory and Jess when they first started dating. There were various shots of the two of them, some that Jess couldn’t even imagine how they came to be taken. Next there was a copy of the sonogram picture of the baby, then some of Rory as she grew in size during her pregnancy. It was a beautiful slideshow that closed as the song ended with a picture of Rory leaning back in Jess’ arms with his hands resting on hers on top of the baby bump - they were sat in the town square, both smiling happily. Rory recognised it as a day not long before her grandparents vow renewal, though she hadn’t known the photo was taken.

The lights went up to a round of applause from the assembled audience. Lane came over to where Rory and Jess were sitting, somehow looking proud and apprehensive at the same time. Rory was grinning, though tears were pouring from her eyes. Even Jess looked genuinely moved.

“Oh, Rory, I’m sorry,” her best friend apologised fast. “I didn’t want to make you cry.”

“Happy tears,” she assured her with a sniffle, reaching to grab onto her hands. “Lane, that was beautiful and so special. Thank you.”

“You did good, Kim,” said Jess with a smile of his own, so much meaning and feeling in just a few words, and she knew it.

“Well, I happen to think you two were worth the effort,” said Lane definitely. “I’ve always loved Rory like a sister, and I know I wasn’t sure about you for a while, with good reason,” she told Jess. “But you really stepped up. You make Rory happy, happier than I ever thought possible, and I know you two are going to be the world’s best parents.”

Rory levered herself out of the chair specifically to hug her BFF as close as she could manage as she continued to cry on her shoulder.

“Thank you, Lane,” she said again.

“You’re welcome, Rory,” she promised her. “Just promise me this,” she added, looking awfully serious as they pulled apart and faced at each other. “You’re going to let me help educate your son in decent music, because I refuse to let him grow up with a taste for mainstream pop or anything else hideous like that.”

“Hey, no kid of mine is going to be mainstream,” said Jess definitely. “I got Joey Ramone’s solo album, The Clash's London Calling, and Metallica’s whole back-catalogue on standby already.”

“Good start,” Lane nodded approvingly.

Rory laughed as she retook her seat. Come what may, there was no doubting this baby was going to be very popular, and very much loved and doted on. It gave her a sort of confidence she never really had before. Whatever happened, she and Jess really were going to cope, partly because they had each other, and partly because they had an entire town of extended family and friends behind them. Nobody could ask for more than that.


	44. Chapter 43

Jess walked into the diner and all eyes turned to him. He was used to that by now, it had been happening in a big way every time he showed up any place in Stars Hollow for the past week. The townies had been all over him for news since he and Rory had been back in the Hollow, ever more so since the baby shower a couple of weeks ago. It had gotten even worse lately. Rory’s due date had come and gone and here they were on March 16th with no sign of labour pains and everybody just hanging on the edge of their seats for news. Nobody was more anxious for things to happen than Jess himself, and he could use not having to deal with the crazy townsfolk asking their questions.

“No news, sugar?” asked Babette anyway, and Jess shook his head.

“Nope, not yet,” he said with a forced smile and walked quickly to join his uncle behind the counter.

“That kid is really comfy just exactly where he is, huh?” Luke sighed.

“Tell me about it,” his nephew nodded, losing his jacket and washing up ready to begin work. “I just wish Rory was as comfortable. She’s really going through it, Luke, and there’s pretty much nothing I can do to help her.”

“I know, it’s tough on both of you in different ways,” he agreed with a nod of his head. “But it can’t be long now. Could even happen today,” he suggested.

“We can hope,” Jess agreed, moving to clear some tables.

They worked just as hard as ever, uncle and nephew together, but it was much more of a partnership these days than before, and not just in writing. Luke had meant what he said about getting Jess as involved as he wanted to be, or keeping him out of anything he wasn’t interested in. The kid had really stepped up with the business, as he had with Rory and the baby. Luke was genuinely impressed. He always knew Jess was no dunce, but he got to grips with the ordering system and the books pretty easily and was determined to pull his weight. He said he wasn’t happy just taking half the profits of a business Luke had spent so long building, he wanted to earn the share that he and Rory now owned. Luke really couldn’t be more proud.

“You’re doing it again,” said Jess after he dumped off dirty dishes in the kitchen and then grabbed the coffee pot from behind the counter.

“Doing what?” his uncle frowned, arms folded across his chest.

“That misty-eyed, wistful staring thing,” said Jess, making some vague gesture in front of his face as if that aided the explanation. “Either you’re getting gooey over my kid that hasn’t even been born yet or you're thinking how much I’ve grown and matured into a fine upstanding citizen of this crazy town. Whichever it is, could you not do it near me please? It’s weird.”

He went off to fill cups then and Luke let out a chuckle he couldn’t hold in. Yeah, the kid was smart, and just as smart-mouthed as he’d always been, but that was okay. Luke only ever wanted Jess to settle down and that he had done. A fiancée he had worked hard to deserve, a baby on the way, a home of their own, and a business he was determined to help run well. He might be a million miles away from the sulky teen that had been forced into small town life less than three years ago now in so many ways, but he was still Jess. Still whip-smart and quick to tell you if he didn’t like a thing, but Luke at least had to admire the honesty. It sure did make him suitable for this town, and life with the Gilmore girls around.

“I swear to God, I hear one more labour inducing theory, I’m gonna cause actual physical damage,” Jess was growling as he brought the coffee pot back a few minutes later.

“I’m just sayin’, sugar!” said Babette as she came hurrying over, continuing where she must have left off just seconds before. “I read somewhere that it works!”

“What works, Babette?” asked Luke, sure he was going to regret it, but Jess was still facing the coffee machine and just this side of exploding, so he had to say something.

“Blowin’ up balloons,” she said matter of factly. “I read somewhere that if a pregnant lady blows up a whole bunch of balloons, she goes into labour,” she explained, her hands going to her stomach. “Somethin’ about buildin’ up pressure and...”

“That’s great, Babette, thanks,” said Luke politely, his hand going to Jess’ shoulder as his nephew fought not to yell at the poor woman who was only trying to be helpful. “We’ll be sure to let Rory know, okay?”

“Could work,” she nodded her confirmation before finally leaving.

“Just breathe” Luke advised Jess in a quiet voice.

“I’m fine,” he sighed, letting out a long breath. “I just can’t deal with all of the people, all of the time,” he explained. “I know, I know they’re trying to help, I get that, but you know me and people bugging me. I can’t deal.”

“I know, but you’re doing great,” his uncle assured him. “You didn’t throw anything, you didn’t yell, and I’m hoping we’ve grown past the gnome stealing, so I think Babette is safe, right?”

Jess smirked at that.

“Pierrepont has nothing to fear from me,” he promised. “But these people are seriously starting to damage my calm, Luke. Have you even heard some of the whacked out ideas they’ve been trying to give me for Rory?” he asked.

“I’m guessing mostly the usual. Spicy food, brisk walking...” he paused and looked awkward. “Er, the activity that made the baby in the first place?”

“Please! That was just for starters,” he explained. “I’ve had herbal remedies thrust at me, names of plants I can’t even spell, a referral for an acupuncturist. Taylor even handed me a pineapple yesterday.”

“A pineapple?” Luke frowned hard. “How does that even work?”

“How the hell should I know? All I know is Rory is pretty much grumpy and in pain all the time. Her back aches, her ankles are swollen, she can’t eat anything and then she wants to eat everything. Most of all she just wants this kid out of her, and... and I feel useless,” he admitted at last, muttering out of embarrassment and so nobody else heard either, Luke was sure.

With a sigh he gestured for his nephew to follow him into the storeroom away from listening ears. It wasn’t as if they were busy, and nobody was adverse to yelling if they needed assistance anyway.

“Jess, you gotta take a breath here,” Luke advised, sitting him down on a crate. “You’re no use to Rory is you’re even more stressed out than she is. The people around here, I know they’re annoying. Trust me, I do know, but they mean well and getting mad at them won’t stop them wanting to help you out anyway.”

“Apparently not,” Jess sighed, running his hands over his face and back through his hair. “I don’t know what bothers me more, the waiting for this kid to be born, or the thought of how things are gonna be once he’s here,” he admitted. “I’m gonna be a father, Luke. Maybe today, tomorrow, a few days max, I’m gonna be somebody’s dad.”

“That’s true,” his uncle nodded, finding a smile. “It’s an incredible gift, Jess. Not everybody is so blessed.”

He felt bad then as he looked up at the man who had been more of a dad to him than anybody else. Jess had a biological father, more step-fathers than he could count, but it was his uncle that had made the difference, that had helped him out and been the one to support him when he really needed it.

“Yeah, well. If I’m half the father you are, I’ll be okay,” he said seriously, as he got up from the crate and swiftly left the room.

Luke stood in stunned silence for a moment just staring after him. Whether Jess meant that he had been a good father in Chris’ stead or in Jimmy’s, he couldn’t say, and hadn’t a mind to ask. Regardless, it was an incredible compliment that touched him deep in his heart.

“Thank you, son.”

* * *

“Hey, Mrs R,” said Paris, barging in just as soon as the apartment door opened. “How goes the house hunting?”

“Very good, thank you, Paris,” she smiled.

Mrs Rossini had been warned about this girl weeks before she ever met her for the first time when they switched shifts sitting with Rory. Paris was supposed to be abrasive, forthright to the point of offensive, but ultimately a good person. Mrs R found all this and more to be true. Honestly, she liked Paris a lot, having a great respect for the straight-talking kind of woman, much as Mrs R was herself. They had a long chat at Rory’s baby shower and seemed to be firm friends by the end of it. They saw each other semi-regularly over the days and weeks that followed, as they each took turns watching over Rory and her pregnancy went on and on, already two days past her due date.

“I am actually going to sign papers today,” Mrs R explained as she pulled on her coat and head scarf. “I will be an official Stars Hollow resident before the day is through.”

“Congratulations,” Paris smiled. “Though honestly, I can’t imagine anyone being satisfied with a backwater town like that when the bright lights of New York City are on offer. I mean, the culture, the experiences, the city that never sleeps. Of course, I’m looking at this from a young person’s perspective with a whole life to live. Stars Hollow is probably perfect for a person of your years.”

“That it is, Paris,” Mrs R smiled, more amused than offended by the younger woman’s words - she meant no harm, of that Mrs Rossini was sure. “Now, I must go. Rory is in the bedroom. I’m afraid she suffers badly still.”

“Well, of course she does,” Paris rolled her eyes. “It must be pretty boring for her just waiting and waiting for that baby to decide today’s the day. There’s actually a lot to be said for what the celebrities do these days, the rich and famous just booking in a C-section and getting the job done to a schedule. It’s something I’d certainly think about.”

Mrs R shook her head and tried not to smile too much as she bid Paris farewell and finally left. Paris was still thinking about her theory when she got to Rory’s bedroom door, tapped lightly on it, and then barged right in before she even got an answer. She sort of wished she hadn’t when she realised Rory was crying.

“What’s up, Gilmore?” she asked sceptically.

“Nothing really,” Rory shook her head and blew her nose one more time. “I’m fine, I just... I heard that having a really good cry could help bring on the labour. I just sat here thinking about every sad thing I could but still nothing,” she sighed heavily.

Paris wandered over and sat down in the chair left purposefully close to the bed.

“Well, there are plenty of other ways to induce labour. I actually brought you a list,” she explained, rifling in her purse for the paper she had printed out just yesterday. “First off, pineapple,” she read aloud. “It contains an enzyme named bromelain, which is thought to help soften your cervix and bring on labour.”

“I’m not sure I could eat pineapple right now,” Rory grimaced. “And also eeeww!” she declared at the description.

Paris frowned.

“Now is not the time to be a prude, Rory,” she said firmly. “You were fast enough to get this bun in your oven, so don’t turn all coy on me now it’s time to get it out. Now, sex is obviously an option, basically anything that triggers the release of oxytocin, that’s the hormone you need plenty of to get those contractions happening. Is Jess comfortable with bringing you to orgasm whilst you’re in this state?”

“Paris!” Rory yelled loudly, covering her face with her hands. “My God, can we please not... Can you just... I can’t talk to you about Jess that way, okay? Not right now,” she declared. “Probably not ever.”

She didn’t get it, but then Paris rarely did. She just couldn’t understand that there were some things Rory really didn’t want to hear from her, and the word orgasm was one of those things, especially if her boyfriend’s name was in the mix. Rory knew she was blushing bright as a tomato, but honestly, she just couldn’t help it.

“All I’m saying is, if he can’t help you out, you can try to do it yourself. Basic nipple stimulation could work by itself...”

“Paris!”

“Okay, okay, fine!” she relented when she found herself being admonished by an angry, bright red, very pregnant woman all over again. “Well, your other options come down to castor oil, which is probably going to have some obvious and pretty unpleasant side effects, or a bumpy car ride,” she explained, checking down her list. “Or you go with the Murphy’s Law theory.”

Rory looked curiously at her friend then, not understanding what she meant.

“Well, put on your best panties that you really wouldn’t want to ruin,” Paris explained with a smile. “Murphy’s Law says your waters will break all over them.”

That at least got a laugh out of Rory, though she soon regretted it as it caused her pain. Her hand went to her pregnant belly and she winced some. Paris immediately felt bad.

“I can’t imagine what you’re going through,” she said, as sympathetic as a person like her could manage it seemed.

“Trust me, it’s not a laugh a minute right now,” sighed Rory. “But it’ll be worth it, I know it will.”

Paris nodded dumbly. This wasn’t a life she wanted for herself, not at all, at least not yet. Babies were an option one day, but way, way into the future, when she had already had a successful career and found the perfect partner, if such a thing should exist. Of course, Paris knew that Rory could never find a person more perfect for her than Jess. He was far from perfect in and of himself, but he was perfect for Rory, there was just no arguing with that at all.

“It is odd, thinking about this time last year,” she said thoughtfully. “I mean, I sure didn’t see this coming, did you?”

“Not at all,” Rory admitted with a chuckle. “But I’m not sorry. Jess makes me happy, we have things all figured out, the baby is healthy and hopefully he’ll be here very, very soon,” she said, rubbing her stomach. “In the Fall, I’ll be back at Yale...”

She trailed off then and Paris wondered why. She really wanted Rory back with her in school and she was sure she could cope if she really wanted to, but it was a big undertaking and Paris wondered several times if it would ever really happen. It wasn’t that she didn’t think Rory could handle it as much as she thought maybe she wouldn’t want to when it came right down to it. For someone like Rory, family was always going to come up higher in her priorities than anything else. Paris was almost a little jealous about that. Her own family never cared enough for her to ensure her affection for them outweighed her ambitions for a successful education and career.

“So, what’s going on with you?” asked Rory then, snapping Paris out of a moment’s thoughtful contemplation. “I want to know everything that’s going on at Yale, all about you and Doyle, everything.”

Paris smiled a little and took a breath before starting to tell Rory all the latest news. Times like these it was almost possible to pretend they were still at Yale together, being room-mates, just normal teenage girls. Of course, the big bump under the bedclothes gave away that wasn’t true at all. A few days from now, maybe less, and Rory would be a mother. There was no way to say that wasn’t a very big deal indeed.


	45. Chapter 44

“Damn Connecticut and its perfectly flat roads!” Rory complained loudly as she half-stamped, half-waddled back into the apartment.

“Yeah, it’s a real problem how they fill those pot-holes so fast and so well,” Jess smirked some, unable to help himself.

Rory wasn’t amused, and he knew why. It was now eight days past her due date. It was late in the evening and tomorrow she had an appointment at the hospital and there was talk of inducing labour in a proper medical fashion to get this kid of theirs out. Jess wasn’t thrilled by the concept and Rory was even less so, but the doctor had explained that worse complications, including the death of a child, were more likely to result from leaving the baby in situ than hurrying him out. Today’s ride out in the car had been one last ditch attempt to get the kid to move of his own accord, but finding bumpy places to drive had proved somewhat difficult. Jess was grateful for the sake of the car's suspension, but Rory was more grumpy than ever. He shed his jacket and walked over to the couch, sitting down next to her. Rory had her arms folded on top of her over-sized stomach and a real deep frown on her face.

“C’mon, Ror, it’ll be okay,” he tried to tell her, putting his arm around her shoulders to pull her close. “You heard what the doctor said, the procedure for inducing the birth doesn’t hurt you or the baby, and it’s better he’s out than stay there any longer,” he reminded her, kissing her temple.

“I know,” she sighed heavily. “I just wanted it to be natural, y’know? I wanted our baby to be born when he wanted to be born, but for some reason his favourite place seems to be inside of me.”

“There’s a joke in there, worthy of your mother’s ‘dirty’, that I’m not going to make,” said Jess softly, and Rory both giggled and blushed at the implication. “But seriously, Rory, it’s gonna be okay, and hey, the kid still has almost twenty four hours to put in an appearance before the doctors decide to help.”

That much was true. They had to go over to the hospital tomorrow morning and Rory would spend the day there, before the inducement of labour occurred next morning. That was more than an entire day away, and there was every chance that labour would start before that. Jess really hoped it would, for Rory’s sake more than anything else. She’d had enough now of being pregnant, she was ready for it to be over, to meet the little baby boy that was their son.

“I like that we didn’t tell anyone about the name we picked yet,” she smiled then, curling up close to Jess, or at least as much as she could in her present state. “It’ll be a great surprise when he finally gets here.”

“I’m amazed you haven’t told your mom yet. It’s not like she hasn’t asked at least a hundred and fifty times a day since she found out we decided.”

“She’s just excited,” Rory giggled. “I’m glad actually. She could’ve been so mad about this whole thing.”

“I think any anger was pointed directly at me,” said Jess thoughtfully. “But honestly? Lately we get along pretty good. I guess I should’ve known we would if we actually tried. You two do have a lot in common”

“And what we don’t have in common, you and her sure do,” said Rory, earning herself an odd look from Jess. “Oh, come on, you know you do. Parental issues, authority issues, teenage parent...”

“Hey, that last one applies to both of us,” he reminded her.

Rory smiled; “Yes, it does.”

She reached up to kiss him and Jess happily obliged. If somebody had told either of them a year ago that they would be this happy to know they were going to be parents at their age, some serious hilarity would have ensued. Now, Rory and Jess couldn’t imagine wanting more than this life they had built for themselves. No situation was ever perfect, and this one wasn’t either, but it was pretty damn good, all things considered.

“Mmm,” Rory sighed happily into their kiss. “You don’t know how much I wish we could continue this.”

“Nobody’s going to try and stop us,” Jess pointed out, going in for another long, deep kiss.

Rory didn’t even try to put up a fight, it felt too good. It completely sucked that sex was all but off the table at this point. They had their fun in different ways, and Jess was very good about what they could and couldn’t do, what she needed sometimes even though the traditional activities were difficult or impossible. It wasn’t the same though. Rory knew she still had a long wait before they could get back to what they had before, but a girl could certainly day dream. Unfortunately, right now wasn’t a moment she could spend enjoying herself.

“Jess, I can’t,” she squirmed away. “I’m sorry, that was a long car ride, and junior is sitting on my bladder again.”

“Wow, mood officially killed,” her fiancé said with a shake of his head as Rory levered herself up off the couch.

Rory was almost as sick of bathroom trips as she was the back ache and the waddle-like walk she had been forced to adopt these past few weeks. Every day seemed to be punctuated on a ridiculously regular basis by peeing, and Rory was so bored of the four tiled walls of the smallest room in the apartment. It was only when she was in said room with the door closed that she realised something was wrong. It really did feel like she needed to use the toilet, and yet the pain in her back suddenly shifted and pulled tight around her middle like a rope. Something in the baby book came to mind a second too late, and with a whooshing sound like nothing she ever heard before, Rory found herself standing in a puddle of fluid that was definitely not from her bladder.

“Jess!” she bellowed loudly, the call turning into a strangled scream as pain tore through her.

He was there in a second, practically falling in through the door. His eyes widened at the sight that met his eyes, and the smell that hit his nose too.

“Geez!” he exclaimed. “Er, we gotta get you to the hospital. I need keys,” he said to himself, rushing to fetch both the keys he spoke of and Rory’s pre-packed bag that was already right there by the bed.

“Damn Paris and her Murphy’s law theory!” Rory yelled, gripping the side of the tub with both hands before the contraction finally subsided.

“Her what?” asked Jess as he returned, edging around the mess on the bathroom floor to get a hold of Rory and help her walk out to the car.

“I’m wearing my favourite underwear and now it’s ruined,” she told him sadly.

Jess smiled with amusement that broke through the panic in a second. He kissed the top of Rory’s head as they exited the bathroom together and he grabbed her bag as they moved towards the front door.

“The baby’s coming, Ror,” he reminded her, as if she didn’t know. “He’s coming on his own without any help. That’s what you wanted, right?”

Rory stopped walking, her hand going out to the wall as the other gripped onto Jess’ own. She had a vice grip on his fingers and screamed some when another contraction hit. It was barely two minutes since the first one, Jess was sure. That couldn’t be good.

“Okay, I know it hurts, sweetheart, but we really have to get you in the car, now,” he told Rory worriedly. “The hospital is a few minutes away and I don’t think you wanna have this kid born in the back seat.”

Rory nodded he was right and tried to breathe through the remaining pain as they headed out. It may have been a long wait to the moment when this labour started, but somehow it didn’t seem like the actual event was going to last. Not long to go now.

* * *

When they got to the hospital, Jess started yelling for help. Between his insistent calling and Rory’s all-out screaming, they had three nurses and an orderly within the first fifteen seconds of exiting the car. Rory was put in a wheelchair and rushed down a corridor with Jess in hot pursuit. It was only when his fiancée asked for her mother that Jess realised he ought to call Lorelai and fast. Of course Rory wanted her there, he expected nothing less and wasted no time in calling. Lorelai answered her cell on the first ring and asked if it was happening. All Jess had to say was ‘yes’ and that was that, she was promising to call Luke and that both of them would be over to the hospital just as fast as they could. Jess’ job with regards to calling people was done then. There was nobody else he could think of who needed to know Rory was in labour. Once Lorelai and Luke left for the hospital, the whole town would spread the news. Other than that there was the Gilmore elders, but the last thing Jess or Rory needed was them at the hospital whilst the actual birth was taking place. Later would do for that.

Jess stood in the mostly empty corridor a moment, turning one way and then the other, really not sure what to do. Instinct told him both to run to Rory and run from the building all at the same time. He wouldn’t leave her, not a chance, not now, not ever, but a voice in his head still told him it was the thing to do and it wouldn’t quit.

“Jess?” an unfamiliar voice asked then and he turned to see a nurse poking her head out around a door. “Are you Miss Gilmore’s partner?” she checked.

“Fiance, yeah,” he confirmed, as the nurse stepped out into the corridor.

“My name is Carrie, I’m going to be assisting in the birth. If you come this way, you can wash up and then you can go right in and be with your fiancée,” she smiled politely.

Jess nodded, unable to find any words at all as he followed the nurse down the hall. He glanced back before they went into the next room, hearing a scream that he was pretty sure was Rory.

“She’s going to be okay, right?” he asked, feeling so stupid the very next moment. “Of course she’ll be okay,” he said himself. “Women have been giving birth for centuries.”

“Longer actually, and before hospitals or any understanding of medicine,” Carrie smiled right across at him as he rolled up his sleeves and washed his hands at the sink she brought him to. “I know it’s a worrying time, a new experience for the father as well as the mother giving birth,” she said knowingly. “But most baby’s are born without any complications at all. Besides, on the off chance something goes wrong, and it’s highly unlikely it will, you’re all in the right place.”

Jess nodded that she was right, but that didn’t stop his heart beating a mile a minute against his ribs. Rory was down the hall, pain ripping through her body as their son fought to get out into the world. Things could go wrong, they did go wrong, for some people. Suddenly Jess found himself praying to a God he had never been a hundred percent sure he believed in that Rory and their baby came out of this okay, that everything ran smooth and there were no complications. If he lost either of them now, Jess didn’t know how he would ever cope, and he didn’t want to have to find out.

* * *

“Look, lady, I’m not screwing around here!” said Lorelai angrily as she leaned ever further across the Reception desk. “My kid is somewhere in this hospital giving birth to a baby of her own, and if you don’t tell me where she is in the next five minutes, I’m going to go Buffy Summers all over your ass!”

“Lorelai!” Luke pulled her back. “She’s not... She’s just a little anxious,” he explained to the nurse. “But we really would like to know where Rory Gilmore is, please?” he asked, still holding onto Lorelai who was struggling to get back to her previous threatening behaviour.

The nurse scurried away, promising in muttered tones to go find out where the young lady in question was and what was happening with her labour. Luke held on tight to Lorelai and made her look at him.

“Yeah, you better run!” she called behind the nurse before finally she focused her eyes on her boyfriend.

“Hey, c’mon,” he urged her. “I know you’re worried and stressed out. I understand because I’m pretty shaken up myself, but everything is going to be okay,” he promised, holding her face in his hands.

Lorelai took a deep breath and was shaking as she let it out.

“Oh, Luke, this is so big,” she told him, as if he didn’t know. “There could be complications...”

“There probably won’t be.”

“I know that. I know, but even if things goes smoothly, it’s... it hurts, a lot. Trust me, there is no pain in this world like it,” she explained.

“Yeah, I remember the one about the splits and the crate of dynamite,” Luke nodded, trying not to wince at the memory of the conversation where Lorelai had told him that particular metaphor for childbirth. “But Rory is strong, strong like her mother,” he smiled. “And Jess is with her... or he was, I guess,” he added as his nephew came rushing through the doors, two paces ahead of the worried looking nurse that Lorelai had been threatening minutes before.

“Lorelai,” he ran to her. “You should come see Rory,” he urged her.

“Really?” she asked, looking confused. “I didn’t think they’d let both of us in there when she’s actually... I mean, she’s okay, right?”

“She’s okay,” Jess nodded. “In some serious pain, but apparently that’s how this thing works.”

“Oh yeah, I remember that part,” Lorelai agreed. “But still...”

“She needs you, Lorelai,” said Jess desperately. “It’s... it’s too much for her by herself. She needs you to hold her hand and tell her it’s okay. I’m not... She needs you.”

Lorelai was flattered and so happy. There was a moment when she was just going to run to her baby girl’s side and be there at the miracle of birth that would bring her grandson into the world. That moment passed and she surprised everyone, including herself, when she shook her head.

“No,” she said definitely. “Jess, I can’t go in there.”

“What?” he yelped. “Lorelai, did you not hear what I just said?”

“I did,” she confirmed. “But Jess, honey, in that room right now? It’s not my place. Trust me, if Rory was going through this alone, I would be there for her in a heartbeat, in less time than even that, but she’s not. Jess, she is having your baby, hers and yours. Not mine or Luke’s or my parents’, just hers and yours. If anybody should be there when that baby boy comes into the world, it’s his father.”

She had her hand on his shoulder, her gaze fixed on Jess’ own as she gave her speech. Lorelai meant every word, he knew that, even as her eyes teared up and her voice shook with the emotion of the moment. Jess nodded dumbly.

“I should be there,” he said definitely, swallowing hard when his words came out wobbly at best.

“Yes, you should,” Lorelai agreed. “So, go. Go, go, go! Don’t miss this moment!” she told him, giving him a shove towards the doors.

With a grin the like of which she had hardly ever seen on his face before, Jess went backwards through those doors, then turned and ran. Lorelai watched him go and tears streamed down her cheeks, even as Luke pulled her close and kissed the top of her head.

“That was a beautiful thing you just did,” he said softly, knowing how hard it must have been.

“It was the right thing,” she mumbled against Luke’s chest as she hugged him back with all her might, praying that everything was okay with her baby girl. “C’mon, Rory. You got this, sweets.”


	46. Chapter 45

“I don’t know how to do this,” Rory moaned. “Jess, I can’t. I just can’t.”

It hurt him to see her in so much pain with nothing he could really do to help. In spite of the speed with which the labour seemed to start, it was now beginning to drag some. A little over three hours since they arrived at the hospital, the doctor had Rory start pushing and she was doing her best but this kid just wasn’t being born. It felt like an eternity filled with agony and screaming. As much as Jess had appreciated Lorelai letting him be here rather than her, he was now starting to wonder if she really made the right decision. He didn’t know how to do this any more than Rory did.

“Hey, Daddy? Maybe a little encouragement for Mommy?” said Nurse Carrie with a look.

Jess gripped onto Rory’s fingers with one hand and used the other to push her hair back off her forehead that was slick with sweat. 

“Hey, you got this, Rory,” he said, making her look at him. “I know it’s tough, I know I can’t ever really understand how much you’re hurting right now, but I know you can do this,” he promised her. “We have come through so much this past year, there is nothing we can’t do together. You know this.”

“I know,” she nodded, breathless and struggling still. “I know, it’s just hard.”

“I know, but you’re not alone, okay?” he reminded her. “We’re all here for you. Lorelai and Luke are just down the hall, and I’m right here, Rory. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

She believed him, of course she did, and the encouragement and faith in her was what Rory needed right now. It didn’t ease the physical pain but it seemed to give her more strength to cope with it somehow. When the next contraction came and the doctor instructed her to push just as hard as she could, Rory went for it with all the power she possessed. She squeezed onto Jess’ hand so hard he was amazed she didn’t break bones. Right now, he wouldn’t much care if she did. He just wanted this to be over for her, for their son to be born. It took a little while, two or three more immense efforts from his fiancée and then suddenly it was over. A tiny squalling infant was in the doctor’s hands, all red and wrinkly, screaming like the world was ending when in fact his life was only just now beginning.

“You did it!” Jess told Rory as she collapsed against the pillows, exhausted and crying tears of relief and joy combined. “Rory, that’s our son.”

“Oh my God!” she gasped, feeling far too many things and all at once as she watched the nurse check the baby over and wrap him up in a blanket.

When finally their child was handed over, Jess realised Rory wasn’t the only one crying. Rory held the tiny baby in her arms, and it was as if they were the only three people in the world.

“Hi there,” she said softly, almost afraid to touch the fragile little boy that she had just brought into the world. “I’m your mommy, and this is your daddy,” she said with an almost delirious giggle.

Jess laughed too. Despite all the months they had to get used to the idea, it still seemed very strange to be called anybody’s ‘Daddy’, but this was the moment, this was his son. He and Rory were actual parents to this tiny little bundle. It was incredible.

“I love you,” he whispered, kissing Rory’s hair as he sat close on the edge of the bed, just staring in wonderment at their son. “Both of you.”

“We love you too,” Rory assured him with a tired smile. “So much.”

* * *

Lorelai had been pacing the waiting room the whole time they had been in it, despite the fact Luke had tried to get her to sit down and relax on several occasions. He could understand why that was so tough for her. This was a big deal. Their Rory was having a baby, giving birth to a child of her very own. It didn’t get bigger than this, and Luke knew that Lorelai was worried about complications. Such things might happen less in the modern world, but dangers still existed.

When the door burst open, Luke leapt to his feet and Lorelai stopped moving, eyes almost wild and breath firmly held when she saw Jess framed in the doorway.

“Well?” she prompted when he didn’t speak immediately.

“She was amazing,” he said then, a grin breaking out across his face as he pushed his hair back off his face. “We have our son.”

“Congratulations!” Luke enthused, rushing to hug his nephew.

“Thanks,” he replied as they held on tight to each other a few seconds.

When they parted, Lorelai was crying hard, her hand over her mouth. It was relief, joy, so many things all coming out at once. Jess wasn’t sure whether it was her emotional state or his own that prompted him to hug her, but he did it anyway. They both loved Rory so much, they both worried so much when she was in pain that way. Now they could only be happy that everything turned out well, that there was another member of their family to love.

“They’re okay?” Lorelai checked pointlessly.

“They’re great,” he promised. “They just need a few minutes, clean up and stuff, then you can come see them.”

“Oh my God,” she cried, wiping at both eyes with her hands. “My baby has a baby. A son, Luke. I have a grandson. That’s crazy!”

“I know,” he laughed as she did the same, albeit through a veil of tears, as he reached to hug her close.

Jess sunk into a chair without anyone really noticing, and Lorelai was soon rushing off to find her daughter and meet her grandchild. Luke hung back, turning to find Jess with his face in his hands. This had been a very big day for him too, and it wasn’t over yet.

“Hey,” he said, his hand on Jess’ shoulder. “How you doin’ there, kid?”

His nephew laughed as he showed his face.

“Still calling me kid?” he checked. “I just had one of my own.”

Luke shrugged his broad shoulders.

“You’re always gonna be my kid, you and Rory both,” he said easily. “And yes, I realise if that were actually true, you and Rory being together would be all kinds of wrong...” he frowned then.

Jess shook his head.

“I get it,” he assured him. “And thanks, Luke, for everything. You’ve been great these past few months, way better than I deserved....”

“Hey, this isn’t the end, Jess, it’s only the beginning,” his uncle assured him. “You thought it was tough working your two jobs? You still have two, even now. Wal Mart was a crappy second job, but this one is going to be tougher. Being a father... I mean, I can’t tell you exactly what it’s like, but y’know, I helped Liz out with you enough in the beginning. It’s not going to be an easy ride,” he told him definitely. “But, I know you can handle it, you and Rory both. You’re going to be great parents, Jess, I really believe that.”

His nephew nodded, confirmation that he was at least going to try to live up to the standards Luke believed him capable of, and perhaps thanks for having that much faith in him.

“You should come see Rory, meet our son,” he said with a smile that just wouldn’t quit.

Luke smiled too, because it was just beautiful to see his nephew look so happy.

“Let’s go.”

They headed out of the waiting area and down the hall, and Jess let out a breath he hardly knew he was holding. They got to the door of Rory’s room and he encouraged his uncle to go first. Jess hung back in the doorway, peering in at the woman he loved with their son in her arms, plus Lorelai and Luke standing by. Here was the moment, his last chance if he was going to bolt. Jess shook his head and stepped forward into the room. This was his family, his life now. The only place he wanted to run was toward it and he never wanted to look back.

* * *

Rory’s room at the hospital ended up nicknamed Grand Central all too easily. Everybody wanted to come and see how she was doing and meet the son she and Jess had created. The proud new parents were pleased to let everybody know that they were calling the baby Jack, though they didn’t really explain why, at least not to most people since they wouldn’t understand or care anyway. It meant something to Rory and Jess, that was all that mattered.

Late in the day, Rory was getting seriously tired, in spite of the fact she had been napping every few minutes. She had seen Mrs Rossini, and Lane and Zach, with Paris promising to be over in the morning. Jess was sat in the chair by the bed whilst Rory dozed some more, and he watched over Jack whilst they waited for the next round of visitors. Emily and Richard were on their way, and though Jess wasn’t exactly thrilled by the idea of their presence, he knew it was necessary. Besides, he and Rory hadn’t wanted to announce the baby’s full name until they had the Gilmore elders present as well as Luke and Lorelai.

Jack stirred in his crib and Jess leaned over the edge to look in on him.

“Hey, buddy,” he greeted him with a smile, reaching out a finger to Jack’s chubby little hands. “Big day, huh? First time out in the big wide world. Gotta be pretty scary for you. Honestly? Little scary for me too. Seeing your mom hurt like that... it’s not something I ever want to do again. Well, maybe it’d be worth it one more time. We’ll see how we get along with you first,” he said with a grin, as Jack’s tiny fingers grabbed at him. “I don’t know why it ever bothered me, how I ever thought I’d want to run away from you. You and Rory... I can’t imagine ever loving anybody as much as I love you. Of course, I’m only telling you this because I know you can’t repeat it and make me look stupid later.”

“He can’t, but I could.”

Jess turned sharply at the sound of Rory’s voice, sleepy as it was. He really thought she was out for the count, now he felt just a little dumb.

“How are you feeling?” he asked her gently.

“Better,” she told him, trying to sit up a little, wincing some as she did so. “I think I’m gonna hurt for a while, but that’s probably normal.”

“Probably,” he agreed. “Your grandparents are going to be here any minute.”

“Good,” Rory yawned loudly. “I really want them to meet him.”

Jess smiled, lifted the baby out of his crib and handed him carefully over to Rory then he moved to sit on the edge of the bed. Rory cradled Jack against her chest and sighed.

“This is so amazing,” she said then. “I’m still a little stunned. I mean, all those months carrying him around, and now he’s here... I’m not sure I should feel this surprised... Not surprised,” she amended. “Just... over-awed maybe?”

“I know what you mean,” Jess assured her. “Right there with you, actually,” he admitted, hugging her and the baby close.

The door opened in that moment, and in walked Lorelai with her parents on her heels, and Luke hovering in the back. They piled into the room, Emily gasping at the sight of her granddaughter cradling her great-grandson in her arms. She came rushing over to meet the child and congratulate Rory, as Richard wandered over to do the same.

“He’s a fine looking boy, Rory,” said her grandpa, his voice very quiet and shaky. “A fine boy.”

“Thank you, sir,” said Jess politely, accepting the handshake Richard offered him.

“He is going to be so handsome,” said Emily, nodding her head. “But then I suppose that’s inevitable,” she smiled, looking from Rory to Jess and back.

“I think so,” her granddaughter agreed. “I’m glad you’re all here now, so we can properly tell you his name,” she smiled at Jess.

“You told us his name, hon,” said Lorelai as she came to the other side of the bed with Luke. “Jack, right?”

“That’s just his first name,” Rory shook her head, adjusting the baby in her arms and leaning further into Jess’ embrace. “Everybody, we would like to formerly introduce to you, Jack Lucas Richard Mariano,” she said then.

All eyes went first to Luke and then to Richard as the significance of the baby’s name really sunk in. It was well-known that Grandpa had been angling to get his name on the table for months now, but nothing had been said about Luke, and certainly no agreement had been made to select any particular name for the baby. It hadn’t taken that much persuading for Rory to convince Jess that Richard should be included in the mix in the end, and the both of them had wanted to involve the name of the man that had meant so much to the both of them.

“It just made sense,” Jess shrugged, looking more at Lorelai than the others now. “Great Grandpa and Grandpa both had to get a look in, right?”

“That is a beautiful idea,” she told him and Rory both. “Right, Luke? Luke?” she prompted when he didn’t answer.

Never before had anyone seen the guy so close to tears.

“Thank you,” he told Jess and Rory then, clearing his throat when his voice almost failed him.

“No, thank _you_ ,” said Rory definitely as Jess smiled.

They both owed a lot to Luke, to Lorelai, even to the grandparents actually. Mrs Rossini, Lane, Paris, everybody in town who had pitched in to help when Rory and Jess really needed it. As they sat here now, their baby cradled in Rory’s arms, their family around them, both Rory and Jess wondered why they ever ran out on those that cared about them. Still, they couldn’t regret how things had happened. Rory ran to Jess, and eventually they both found their way home together. This was where they belonged now, the two of them that had just become three. Life wasn’t going to be happily ever after from here on out, nobody was so lucky as to never have any troubles, but they had each other, and they were where they ought to be; that was enough.


End file.
